Need Some Advice

T

Twinklegirl

Diva of Double D's
Nov 2, 2008
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I have a client who I no longer wish to see. How do I, as an SP, tell this man that I no longer want to see him? I don't want to hurt his feelings, he's a good person, but the chemistry is not there, and he wants to date me. The pressure I feel when he calls is unbearable.

So, I'll ask you gentlemen, how would you feel if this happened to you, and if it has, how was it handled?

Ladies, how would you approach the situation?

Thanks
 
Honest is the best policy. A call or email or even a letter. Just tell him how you feel. Its your choice to see who you want. And sometimes a break helps when a client becomes too much.
 
Tell him you don't date clients or ex clients. Too confusing and bad for business. Since he has broached the subject of dating, you feel too uncomfortable to either date him or take his money.
 
Tell him that you dont date clients. If he still does not get the picture, I would say....."well in reality, I have someone else that I am interested in, so I think you should find another SP".
It is too bad that if the chemistry is not there that it got to the point where he thought he could date you.
Having a client that you dont want to see is one thing.
Having a clinet that you dont want to DATE is another. I would be careful not to let your clients even remotely think you would date them unless you know their entire and complete situation, and the feeling is mutual. Even then the odds of success are very small.
Better for you to cultivate relationships outside the biz.
 
MPAsquared said:
Honest is the best policy. A call or email or even a letter. Just tell him how you feel. Its your choice to see who you want. And sometimes a break helps when a client becomes too much.
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An email or letter would be great. Honesty is not the best policy but it is in this case. You mentioned he's a good guy so he should be understanding of the situation . Good luck and let us know how it goes .
 
just tell him straight up, that you're not interested in dating anyone or that you're taken, and if he cannot understand that, you don't want to see him anymore. And make sure he doesn't post on terb
 
Honest & direct but a MAN'S direct not a woman's direct.
I mean a man will say
"(Insert Name Here), The situation we're in is making it uncomfortable for me to see you anymore, be it professionally or personally. So we should probably take a break for 4 to 6 months and as a break I mean a full break as in no contact at all professionally or personally. If you find someone else in that time frame I guess it will just be my loss and your gain. if I don't contact you in 6 months it probably means my feelings haven't changed and it would be best to just keep the distance."
A woman usually sugar coats it way too much. You see most of us men don't take HINTS. And if we have those "rose colored glasses" on then we really get into a hazy state where you say "I'm confused and not sure how to tell you this" and we hear "I think I'm in love with you so I need to figure this out".
Be direct and as blunt as you can. It's the only way. and if he doesn't take it well he proves he probably wasn't that nice a guy to begin with.
 
Twinklegirl said:
So, I'll ask you gentlemen, how would you feel if this happened to you, and if it has, how was it handled?

Ladies, how would you approach the situation?

Thanks
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With any luck he'll read this thread and get the picture.
 
let him down gently...say something to the fact that the comfort level between you hadn't registered until recently....he reminds him too much like your brother..ex dead lover, father or uncle....so it creeps you out.

yah..the curiousity always made me wonder about this ...what is an easy way out of not seeing a client or SP !? mention this in conversation with my therapist /SP ;) ...ie..like if one gets to close for comfort or starts to stalk/haunt them.
 
Seriously, tell him your bi and have a steady girlfriend. That will end it.

...:)
 
Tell him he'll have to pay extra if you see him socially. Overnighters would run him well over $1000 each time.
 
Cycleguy007 said:
I'll start to get delusions of a 3-way!
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I think he really cares for her and has emotionally crossed the line. I doubt if he'd consider your idea of fun...:)
 
What made him think he had a chance of dating you or that you liked him enough to give him that idea? did you give him your personal phone number or something?

if you didn't give him your personal number and/or real name, then this guy surely must know that you still see him as a client only and not as a friend.

I agree with the previous advice of a break...see if he cools off after that.
 
middleweight said:
What made him think he had a chance of dating you or that you liked him enough to give him that idea? did you give him your personal phone number or something?

if you didn't give him your personal number and/or real name, then this guy surely must know that you still see him as a client only and not as a friend.

I agree with the previous advice of a break...see if he cools off after that.
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I think he's just lonely. He asked me out after our first meeting. I declined stating that I don't date clients, but he keeps asking, over and over. I've only seen him professionally a few times, but every time it's unbearable. The questions, wanting me to be his girlfriend etc. I think he has the illusion that SP's are into everyone that they see. argh. It's frustrating.

I will take your advice though, be direct, and professional

Thanks for your help.
 
Twinklegirl said:
I have a client who I no longer wish to see. How do I, as an SP, tell this man that I no longer want to see him? I don't want to hurt his feelings, he's a good person, but the chemistry is not there, and he wants to date me. The pressure I feel when he calls is unbearable.

So, I'll ask you gentlemen, how would you feel if this happened to you, and if it has, how was it handled?

Ladies, how would you approach the situation?

Thanks
Click to expand...

U r solf hearted, but it does not help in this situation.

first question, r u a full time escort?
How's the business going? If it's still good then you just have to tell him honestly without hurting his feeling too much. Tell him that u appreciate his attention, but prefer to be single at this point.
but, if the business is rather slow. It's still better to keep him as a client.
Is he ok financially..? If yes, why don't you charge him more..?
So, at least you will be "compensated" more for your time:D
 
Tia Phoenixx said:
U r solf hearted, but it does not help in this situation.


Is he ok financially..? If yes, why don't you charge him more..?
So, at least you will be "compensated" more for your time
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***

Cute.

I'm sure everyone will remember your thoughts on how you truly feel about people and, of course, your business practices...

...:)
 
Well, unfortunately life is too short and is unfair.
Sometimes, like it or not, we have to be strong and be realistic.

this girl is no longer wanting to see her client..
But maybe she needs money to survive..
she might be attractive and beautiful..and the client may be only infatuated by her charm and beauty....(not to mention he is lonely and a little bit delusional)
So why don't be realistic and take advantage of the situation.

My exboyfriend was a CEO, and i thought he loved me dearly.
Till i found out that he cheated behind my back, and adored me because i was extremely cute and sexy at the time (hopefully till now.ha..ha..)

gosh..i thought i was more than just being sexy and cute.

I wish i could get some more money from him while we were together...
but no..c'est la vie..i did not ask money at all due to my pride.

Hemm..honestly..it was a mistake..actually i should have asked, so i can be retired by now.
 
Twinklegirl said:
I have a client who I no longer wish to see. How do I, as an SP, tell this man that I no longer want to see him? I don't want to hurt his feelings, he's a good person, but the chemistry is not there, and he wants to date me. The pressure I feel when he calls is unbearable.
Click to expand...

Find recent "dating an SP" threads on terb, identify which one is his, and post directly there :)
 
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