Need help: Knocked a girl up, need to know my rights

[keyser]

I wish you luck

This is not to suggest that she's old by any means because obviously she's not, but if she's into her thirties and single, her biological clock is probably starting to tick pretty loud.

She's probably counting in years. Find "Mr. Right" - tick. Get married - tock. Start a family - tick.... tock... tick... Miss any of those steps and it puts things further out and potentially more at risk of not happening for her.

I would not be surprised if this is the end game for her, and if she has to go the non-traditional route, so be it. Based on everything you've said, I'm guessing she's go ahead with it.

I hope it works out for you.

 

[STASH]

Well, I'm in the same boat.

I'm old; the oldest terbite I'm sure. I have five children. The first 4 are now 47, 48, 49 and 51. My youngest son just turned 4. Yes, four. His Mother is Chinese, born and raised. We were dating, nothing more and she became pregnant. It wasn't supposed to happen as cancer treatments 30 years ago left me sterile but, somehow, it regenerated, a feat the doctors never mentioned to me. I decided my child needed a Father. I married the Mother, stayed a couple of years and we then split. I did not do that for me. I did it for him, surely not her.

Result? I have the sweetest little boy you could ever imagine. He's with me half the time; it's hard physically and I'll die before he's out of high school, maybe even grammar school. BUT, he's my son and deserves the best I can give him.

As Kyra wrote, this is now not about you.

My two cents.

I highly respect you Master.....You are actually a Master Man and a credit to us men in general. It takes a real man to do what you did.
You son will have you always..even after you gone. This is the real gift you gave him....a Dad. He couldn't buy that with all the worlds money. You are that valuable.

see Mao what you may have to gain

 

[atlantica]

Well Mao, it's true, stuff like this can happen to all of us, and quite likely to a higher percentage of the TERB population then we'd like to admit.

I had a fling like that just over 18 years ago. My daughter is now off to University. Despite despising her mother for a list of things, including the money thing, my daughter has been an amazingly fun and rewarding addition to my life. And, not to sound too cliche, i would do it agin if given the choice. The 18 years have also gone remarkably fast.

So, if the ball rolls that way, just buckle up and enjoy the ride. You may just like it.

All the best.

 

[Malibook]

Yes, absolutely, and I have no shame in saying that. If you have never fucked a woman bareback and made a five minute mistake that suddenly gets cynically turned into an 18 year life sentence, then perhaps walk in my shoes before you judge. I guarantee you that you will return with sympathy if nothing else.

It has been my experience on this board that there is a vast difference between what people say in public and what they do in private. In fact, TERB has some of the most judgemental people you can find. It's very interesting.

I think I would have sympathy regardless but I have been in your shoes a couple of times so I can imagine what you feel like.
In one case I was relieved to find out that she is married and happy to see that the baby looked much more like her husband and in the other case the girl moved back with her ex-boyfriend and I never heard from her again.

You are right that there are some very judgmental people here.
Perhaps they are strong enough to never have BBFS or drink and drive or maybe they just never get fucked and don't have a car.

 

[genintoronto]

Note to Gen.....come on honey you know we're very weak and your pussy can run us. We're barely able to stop ourselves...aren't we Gen.

Well, I don't know about you, but if I were a man, I would find this whole "our penis thinks for us" talk pretty fucking insulting.

Sure, you are sexual beings with needs and desires. I am one too. And yes, sometime we do stupid things without thinking about the consequences. But those are still choices. Stupid choices, but choices nonetheless.

I for one prefer to think of men as human beings with the capacity to think and make decisions, rather than as penises with no such ability.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Well Mao, it's true, stuff like this can happen to all of us, and quite likely to a higher percentage of the TERB population then we'd like to admit.

I had a fling like that just over 18 years ago. My daughter is now off to University. Despite despising her mother for a list of things, including the money thing, my daughter has been an amazingly fun and rewarding addition to my life. And, not to sound too cliche, i would do it agin if given the choice. The 18 years have also gone remarkably fast.

So, if the ball rolls that way, just buckle up and enjoy the ride. You may just like it.

All the best.

Again, I appreciate this post. I also can identify with this. However, I have no interest in having children of my own, period. Of course, the condom is once again my new favourite life destroyer.

 

[Serpent]

I for one prefer to think of men as human beings with the capacity to think and make decisions, rather than as penises with no such ability.

Naw.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/20/aig.spitzer.scandal/

He went to Ivy League, came from a great family and ended up a public joke.

Our dicks do a lot of our thinking for us.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

I agree with the legal answer provided by oagre.
I would add, that if you refuse to submit a sample for a DNA test, the court will draw an adverse inference and presume that you are the father.

As for a non-legal answer, I think you are the luckiest guy in the world no matter what happens, your view of the situation needs to shift a little bit.

If she has an abortion – you are in the clear, done and finished, give thanks to the good lord for getting you out of that.

If she has the child and DNA proves it is not yours - you are in the clear, done and finished, give thanks to the good lord for getting you out of that.

If she has the child, and it is healthy and DNA proves that it is yours – then you are blessed with a son or daughter that you can love, care for beyond anything you have yet imagined was possible, help that child grow into a wonderful man or woman that will speak your praises long after you have left this earth.

If she has the child, and it is not healthy and DNA proves that it is yours – then you are going to learn more about love and compassion then you ever dreamed of, if there is the smallest bit of humanity in you, your life will be powerfully changed for the better in ways you cannot yet imagine.

On the other hand, you could, and I’m just talking out loud here, you could, just tell her “o.k. I’ll be the Dad don’t bother with the DNA test at all.”

Spoken like a man who is not actually in the hot seat.

 

[genintoronto]

Well I would have sympathy for you, and I would probably save the lecture as well. It wouldn't mean you wouldn't grow up and be the "man" that you are.

As I said, I have sympathy for your situation and what you have to deal with.

I however have no sympathy for how you are talking about handling the situation, especially trying to shame the mother for having sex with you and not wanting to abort the consequence of it.

 

[juanbrujo]

Not an escort, a girl I met on a weekend in Muskoka. Got drunk, she slid on top of me for like two minutes and "bang you're a daddy"

Just two minutes? She must be a good rider.

Is she Asian?

 

[Mia.Colpa]

I agree with the legal answer provided by oagre.
I would add, that if you refuse to submit a sample for a DNA test, the court will draw an adverse inference and presume that you are the father.

As for a non-legal answer, I think you are the luckiest guy in the world no matter what happens, your view of the situation needs to shift a little bit.

If she has an abortion – you are in the clear, done and finished, give thanks to the good lord for getting you out of that.

If she has the child and DNA proves it is not yours - you are in the clear, done and finished, give thanks to the good lord for getting you out of that.

If she has the child, and it is healthy and DNA proves that it is yours – then you are blessed with a son or daughter that you can love, care for beyond anything you have yet imagined was possible, help that child grow into a wonderful man or woman that will speak your praises long after you have left this earth.

If she has the child, and it is not healthy and DNA proves that it is yours – then you are going to learn more about love and compassion then you ever dreamed of, if there is the smallest bit of humanity in you, your life will be powerfully changed for the better in ways you cannot yet imagine.

On the other hand, you could, and I’m just talking out loud here, you could, just tell her “o.k. I’ll be the Dad don’t bother with the DNA test at all.”

Well said, in the hot seat or not.

 

[Keanu]

Yea, the buy out phase MAY come later. It could easily backfire on me. I believe I can work her using other angles well ahead of that, like the shame, no-one-knows-the-daddy angle.

Stressing her out with this shame thing could effect the kid's health. SHe pregnant and vulnerable. I feel sorry for this kid. 2 possible fathers and they both sound like complete tools.

 

[toughb]

Women and babies will always end up in emotions.NO! I'm not jumping on the gals.

Firstly, there is no child.

Secondly, there is the ulterior motive possibility.

Mao, I feel you're ahead of your situation. Legal advise first. Then you'll just have to deal with her decision on whether to have the baby. I don't feel you can realistically talk about anything concerning the baby til you know it's yours. I'd be concerned with attaching yourself to the responsibility before you even know it is in effect yours.

...

 

[LateComer]

Have you thought of the possibility that she was already pregnant, and knew it, when she had sex with you? It sounds like she is looking for a daddy and sees you as being her meal ticket. Also, if she was having sex regularly with the other guy and only once with you chances are the other guy is the father.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Well, I don't know about you, but if I were a man, I would find this whole "our penis thinks for us" talk pretty fucking insulting.

Sure, you are sexual beings with needs and desires. I am one too. And yes, sometime we do stupid things without thinking about the consequences. But those are still choices. Stupid choices, but choices nonetheless.

I for one prefer to think of men as human beings with the capacity to think and make decisions, rather than as penises with no such ability.

I never listen to woman who try to talk to me about sex. You don't have a dick. You get to a certain age and mindset and you get fed up with women judging you for your sexual choices. You don't have a dick. End of story. As this board and this thread illustrates, extremely thoughtful and caring men do extremely risky things for five minutes of pleasure. Most women roll their eyes at men's exploits, but the day we strap a dick on you is the day you make 24 hours worth of dubious choices. Consider yourself enlightened.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Stressing her out with this shame thing could effect the kid's health. SHe pregnant and vulnerable. I feel sorry for this kid. 2 possible fathers and they both sound like complete tools.

If you feel better, great. Otherwise go fuck yourself.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Have you thought of the possibility that she was already pregnant, and knew it, when she had sex with you? It sounds like she is looking for a daddy and sees you as being her meal ticket. Also, if she was having sex regularly with the other guy and only once with you chances are the other guy is the father.

I've thought about just about every scenario, which is why many of these righteous posters don't have a clue. Women can scheme, especially when they sniff a meal ticket.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Wow.
I hope its a girl.

I hope it's neither.

 

[STASH]

Well, I don't know about you, but if I were a man, I would find this whole "our penis thinks for us" talk pretty fucking insulting.

Sure, you are sexual beings with needs and desires. I am one too. And yes, sometime we do stupid things without thinking about the consequences. But those are still choices. Stupid choices, but choices nonetheless.

I for one prefer to think of men as human beings with the capacity to think and make decisions, rather than as penises with no such ability.

Hey we know what are are horny fuckers of woman....danger and all.

No Gen...... we're more really your second option. The examples are all around you. Famous examples.....Bill Clinton is a good one. And, he the most powerful man on the planet ( Prez you know ) and yet what's he doing.....playing around with a lady. Knowing full well the consequences of his actions and how easily he could be found out.
nope sory Gen i vote for men doing stupid thing with there cocks. Oh sure we refuse some woman but sooner or later one of ya's get us....right.

you know all the games to play Gen. You were taught them as a little girl and have been honing those skills ever since. Hell you even make aliving out of our compulsions Honey. look at the cash in you wallet. That didn't come from your Daddy did it. Men take all kinds of life destroying risks just to fuck you....don't they. You bet they do ! We love it

 

[hatztowork]

I'm sorry to hear the trouble that you may be in Mao. But, I'm in support of some of the other people here in saying that your proposal to mentally manipulate (more or less fuck with the pregnant ladies already fragile brain), would be pretty dispicable if you took that route!

I can understand if you were upset if you were to get an escort pregnant during a visit (assuming of course it was a business transaction) and she refused to get an abortion because she knows you're wealthy. However, this lady that you potentially got pregnant was just a person in the course of your life that you slept with. Unfortunately, she got pregnant and if it is your child you should take responsibility. Who cares if you have to take care of the child for 18 or 24 years? It was your fault and if you have to suffer during that time so be it. In addition, you did mention that you're well off...great for you!! I know some other people in this world that are well off who have had the same situation as you, but they've had the balls to stand up and take responsibility whether they liked it or not.

So step up and be a man about it. Let her make the decision of keeping or aborting the baby on her own. If you think that she's trying to take you for a ride...then hire a lawyer to protect your rights. But why the hell would you want to shame someone and pressure them to abort? That is pretty sick IMO.

By the way, you did talk about morality and people on this board commenting negatively about your behaviour being hypocrits. I don't purport to be 'moral' in any way, but there is a difference between hobbyists (where nobody is hurt and it's more or less a business transaction), and actions where you actually hurt other people (ie. manipulating them and shaming them).

Of course this is none of my business and I'm sure you're going to tell me off for writing this...but again...it's just my 2 cents and you're free to do whatever you want.

Good luck to both you and the lady!!