My wife has left me for another man.

[interactive]

When I got divorced we set up the basement for me, where I stayed for about 2 years !! I then realised she would keep the whole show continuing so managed to get her to leave - both my kids were with me and she would come by to take them to and from school - I did everything else both before she left and after.

Bravo - I was much the same in terms of I did everything before and after.
You do raise a very good point though - when you DON'T leave - things fester and linger - sometimes the leaving is the impetus to the separation process.

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

what i wrote doesn't necessarily apply to me personally. just offering a more plausible explanation based on my thoughts /understanding/ perspectives of these types of situations. let's just say I may have thought about this very issue on a few occasions.

Similarly as others have noted the optimal choice when there are kids involved is to try your hardest to clench your teeth and put up with the constant emasculating bitching while you continue to work hard to ensure that you continue to fully support everyone you are responsible for.

I spent an inordinate amount of time obsessively thinking about this and figuring out what the possible permutations and options are. strangely enough I feel like I can go on and be reasonably happy in my life if I see other women on a once weekly basis be it escorts or other women (wherein I know clearly they are into me). i am this way not because I have some kind of need for external validation, but because it's hard to live life where you get no appreciation or affection.

I complete disagree respectfully. That is honestly the worst choice. The constant emasculation is abusive in my personal opinion and no one should get away with that. Men as a whole need to stand up and fight against this. Women fight the misogynistic opinions of men all the time. Some rightfully so and some more nazi style then I like, but we still as women fight. Men should be doing the same thing. This entitled bitch factor that some married wives have is appalling to me.

You should separate the relationship while inside the home. This means firmly not putting up with her shit. You go into a room and close the door. Put head phones on your head so you don't have to hear if need be. Any attempt of physical assault from her end gets an immediate call to the police. Be calm, be respectful but be firm with her. As well as with the police while insisting on action from their part or gaining police reports.

Men do not deserve to be emotionally abuse in that constant emasculating bitching and therefore I can not agree with that being the optimal choice. I know men think that but that is the lack of society support for men in abusive relationships. That constant emasculating of a man to me is like a misogynistic calling his wife fat all the time and society would not accept that. I don't think society should accept this.

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

maybe the worst decision for the man personally, but perhaps the best option and outcome for the kids is to stay together. maybe separated in space within the house.

Yeah it's hard to believe but let's just say women can be the physical abusers as well. no need to involve the police though unless she pulls a knife or inflicted serious damage. there are other things like breaking plates, etc that some women do that's not exactly helpful.

I agree society shouldn't accept this. Nonetheless children are often the innocent bystanders and it is in my view to wrong to punish them by bickering and separating. there are no good solutions I can think of really other than to be a cheater be it with escorts or civies and experience some kind of affection here and there.

i can totally see why > 50% of marriages end in failure. seeing the "happy hookers of canada" so to speak is one potential solution when looking for a fantasy in this realm of sex work one could just be looking for an escape

I don't think you quite understand the affects of the cycle of abuse. Child in a home that have that has abuse is far worse then dealing with separated parents. I also do not agree at all that if a woman becomes physical that there is no need to call the police. These views are why women get away with this abusive behaviours and why it now seems to be acceptable. It is not. It is damaging. Children do not learn how to have proper relationships, they don't learn how to deal with anger without becoming abuse themselves. They learn rage over reason.

Cheating is nothing more then a high like from a drug. It does not help the situation at all, completely risks making it worse, has a fantasy that only last a short time and the crash to reality is cold and harsh.

We will probably have to agree to disagree here which is sad. Men need to be protected just like anyone else who gets abuse.

 

[GPIDEAL]

Men need to realize that they can say, "get out" as well.

No man should leave his home until the divorce. Sleep in another room, but DO NOT leave the home. This is especially important if you have kids. Whoever is the one to leave is seen as abandoning the home and that is where most men get screwed. It seems men don't want to deal with conflict at the time and think leaving is the best and reality is, that is what royal fucks you.

DO NOT leave the home. Period.

My uncle was asked to leave by my aunt after he packed his bags. Sometimes, men don't have a choice, especially if you're guilty cheating.

 

[GPIDEAL]

Well my daddy always said I was a smart cookie.

Your feisty too (I would sleep with you hon if I had the chance).

 

[**Sophie**]

Wow did the weather ever get shilly out

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

I'm going to speak in broad hypotheticals here. Whether they pertain to my particular case or not can be left to people's imagination.


People who stop "arguing" are either madly in love in the honeymoon phase or one partner has given up the will to keep fighting a futile fight.

Some hobbyists I'm sure just put up with the bullshit at home knowing full well that they're going to get some guaranteed happiness for a discrete interval of time at some point. It is possible that this is a viable solution. It is also possible getting a dose of happiness once a week or so allows one to keep the "rage" or anger at bay.

There is a reason why mistresses are so common in some cultures, etc... I believe this is the. Reason. This is also one of the other reason why escorts do so well.

It may be case that seeing other women I.e. Cheating may in fact make conditions more optimal at home...I.e. Less prone to arguments, which ultimately at least on the surface at a superficial level gives children the impression that the parents get along.


I don't think cheating is akin to taking drugs for the excitement. It's not really the excitement that makes me want to hobby. It's more I really want to escape and immerse myself in a fantasy experience wherein I can imagine in my mind being with someone else.

Many differing perspectives and rationales on why people hobby I suppose... The last bit here just pertains to me.

Ps I have enjoyed this discussion in spite of having differing views

While I have enjoyed the debate as well, I think we are almost on different topics now. I am not even focused on the man cheating. There are plenty of men out there who do not hobby if you can believe it. I am talking about men leaving the home or dealing with an emotionally abusive wife.

I don't care about a partner cheating at this point. If the relationship is over, or one partner is being abused, therefore the relationship should be over, if you don't want to get fucked over, do not leave the home.

My uncle was asked to leave by my aunt after he packed his bags. Sometimes, men don't have a choice, especially if you're guilty cheating.

Men always have a choice, even if guilty of cheating. Divorce is no fault now. So if it is divorce time for anyone, DO NOT leave the home. Period. Don't be quilted to leave because you were busted cheating.

Your feisty too (I would sleep with you hon if I had the chance).

LOL - Not to sound egotistical here, but I think most men on this board either want to fuck me or kill me. And mostly because they can't do either. LOL