This is a place where guys like us, you know the "perverts", come for support and understanding, not character assassination.
My wife has left me for another man.
- Thread starter DRoc_74
- Start date
Sez you. If you don't want to know, you're under no obligation to be told.
My questions were directed to DR_oc74, so it would be proper for him to decide whether or not he wants to answer.
My questions were directed to DR_oc74, so it would be proper for him to decide whether or not he wants to answer.
Yes, well, I guess I was speaking for myself. In the end it didn't matter why. It was done and I had to move on. I wasn't trying to step on anybody's toes.
As is quite often the case, I guess you're the only one who gets it. :thumb:
Young men need to know that a wife is always free to say to you: "I want you to leave, but I want your money to stay." Before no-fault divorce, if she throws you out, your money goes with you. Not today.
Everyone repeat after me:
PRENUP.
PRENUP.
PRENUP.
I insisted on having one, and she was on board with it. If she had balked, I'd have walked. This was a deal breaker for me.
We're still together and we've been through our share of ups and downs, but I must say it gives me comfort to know I've got my ass-ets covered.
Men need to realize that they can say, "get out" as well.
No man should leave his home until the divorce. Sleep in another room, but DO NOT leave the home. This is especially important if you have kids. Whoever is the one to leave is seen as abandoning the home and that is where most men get screwed. It seems men don't want to deal with conflict at the time and think leaving is the best and reality is, that is what royal fucks you.
DO NOT leave the home. Period.
No man should leave his home until the divorce. Sleep in another room, but DO NOT leave the home. This is especially important if you have kids. Whoever is the one to leave is seen as abandoning the home and that is where most men get screwed. It seems men don't want to deal with conflict at the time and think leaving is the best and reality is, that is what royal fucks you.
DO NOT leave the home. Period.
Miss Fatale, please note, that my issue with latin boy had nothing to do with whether he was right or wrong about the the posterWell my daddy always said I was a smart cookie.
being a shill, I for one couldn't care less, I Thought it was a good discussion, by genuine members, such as yours.
But I did take issue with him labelling members on here as Jaded. Which I thought was an unfair statement.
Giving up your house and kids is futile? If that is the case then the guy deserves to get fucked over. Sorry.
Don't get me wrong, I get that it is a pain in the ass, but move yourself to another room, even put a lock on the door and go into that room. Or again, tell her to leave. Move her into another room with a lock that she can stay in. Stand up for your right to stay. If you don't, you abandon your home and that is key in any divorce. Think about it, if you are out of the house, and don't have your kids then by the time you get to stand in front of a judge, she already has 75% of the case on lock.
I thought of this before getting married. At the time we stated dating she was still studying. I was already working and had my own house. She now makes more than me, a lot more. The way I look at it if it goes sour she will be paying me. Problem nowadays is guys look for the super hot girl who only cares about clothes shoes and makeup. Times are different, women don't stay home anymore, in fact dont need men anymore to support them. With that being said any smart guy who is planning to get married should make sure she makes more. Its equal right, they fought for them so let them enjoy it.... I know I am
I agree with Femme on this, my daughter was to important to me let alone the house.
So I stuck it out till she was almost 18. Please note this lasted 8 years. In the the end
my daughter decided to live with me. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Please not, I am not saying that men should stick out the marriage unhappy. I am just saying, don't leave the house and file for divorce while still there. Until a judge decides, you do not leave.
Sooooooooooooo fucking true.
As a divorced father of three, I am asked for my advice many times and this (the above) is what I tell them. So important not to leave until your deal is hashed out.
Most marital arguments cannot be resolved. Couples spend year after year trying to change each other’s mind – but it can’t be done. This is because most of their disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values. By fighting over these differences, all they succeed in doing is wasting their time and harming their marriage.
How do good marriages deal with issues that can’t be resolved? They accept one another as-is:
These couples intuitively understand that problems are inevitably part of a relationship, much the way chronic physical ailments are inevitable as you get older. They are like a trick knee, a bad back, an irritable bowel, or tennis elbow. We may not love these problems, but we are able to cope with them, to avoid situations that worsen them, and to develop strategies and routines that help us deal with them. Psychologist Dan Wile said it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner… you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years.
This excerpt comes from this website: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/10/kill-relationships/ Reading it was epiphany.
Yep - if your leave and then start negotiating, your best day will have you negotiating lawyer to lawyer with HER needing the home maintained and kids looked after. Eventually get to a court and bicker and a temporary order is issued. They always love the temporary orders. Pretty soon it is an established fact that she will stay in the area / home and she & the kids will need $. NOW you are ramping up a court case to over turn the status quo. Every month that passes, SHE is the caregiver and you are the abandoneer.
My friend, who didn't take this advice, has been going through this and now the two kids are 15 & 16 and ain't no court gonna tell them where they should live.
I moved out and soon realized my tactical error. But I moved 100 yards away and set up an equally habitable abode for the kids. I never budged on custody. A little more expensive because of the two equal abodes but I was able to avoid the alienation and ended up the primary caregiver.
Think about this - wife in matrimonial home, near school etc. You - cheap or affordable bachelor pad or something but not as accomodating as the matrimonial home. Why would a court have the kids live with you? My friend had a 1 bedroom - wife said kids need their own bedrooms - judge said improve your living conditions before I deal with custody. He says I can't afford it. Judge says then you have your answer. Why would a court take the kids out of the matrimonial home??? Close to their friends, close to their school.
All can be avoided if you work out your deal before you leave.
When I got divorced we set up the basement for me, where I stayed for about 2 years !! I then realised she would keep the whole show continuing so managed to get her to leave - both my kids were with me and she would come by to take them to and from school - I did everything else both before she left and after.
