"My Daughter Has Rejected All Our Family’s Wedding Traditions. I’m Considering a Drastic Response"

[Patron]

Her sisters come off annoying too. Must run in the family. The whole bridezilla thing gets annoying because people like that don't understand how real life works and want perfection and control.

Yes. As with the post I did regarding Sugar Babies, I am amazed at the number of people who must have drama, conflict, and somewhat successful resolution of the conflict at the end. Probably caused by those things being the central theme in every one hour TV drama, and 1.5 hour drama movie ever made.

Daughter Alaina is so wonderful, that one can’t help but wonder if she escorted during medical school.

What do people most hate about weddings? The long wait between the ceremony and the food, and the even more painful wait for slow food eaters to finish, so the cake can be cut and eaten. If you are solo, this part is the worst. Many get through it with alcohol, which creates concern about DUIs. People hate registries and being told how much to spend.

But friends and family like to attend the ceremony in a nice setting. The bride’s breasts look better on her wedding day than any other day, presumably as a result of the cut of the wedding dress.

Daughter Alaina has removed the dramas, conflicts and wasted costs of the wedding, and has eliminated the things people hate. She has a dress and there will be a ceremony where all eyes will be upon her and her breasts. No family or bridesmaids silliness. No throwing the fucking flowers to enforce the stereotype that everyone must get married and the single people are somehow inferior and must catch the flowers (it would be great revenge for a lifelong single to have some flowers thrown at his/her funeral and imply that whoever catches them will die next). Then everyone goes down to the basement and talks to whoever they want while eating cake.

It is so fucking perfect that Alaina might be as fictional as Mary in There is Something About Mary. But hopefully this wonderful daughter really does exist.

 

[moredale7]

Alaina is a keeper



Dear Care and Feeding,

My oldest daughter, “Alaina,” is breaking my heart. She is engaged to a nice enough man that she’s been with for five years, but she has thrown out every tradition that is important to us: She won’t wear an engagement ring because diamonds are “ugly” and not “politically correct.” She refused both an engagement party and a bridal shower. They won’t create a registry, so my friends have no idea what to get them for wedding presents—turns out she’s not even inviting my friends to the wedding, just their own friends and family. She isn’t having a bridal party, and her sisters are hurt because they wanted to be bridesmaids. I was so looking forward to shopping with her for her bridal gown, but she bought a plain white dress. Worst of all, she won’t let her father walk her down the aisle because, in her words, she’s “not property to be given away.”


There is no reception, just champagne (no bar either!) and wedding cake in the basement (!!) of the church. No wedding dinner, not even appetizers. No wedding toasts. No first dance, because there’s no band. I understand that Alaina watched her younger sister turn into a bridezilla, but her sister did have a gorgeous wedding that we paid for. We are willing to pay for hers too, but she and her fiancé are refusing to do anything we want. They are both doctors and can pay for what they want. Alaina’s father is ready to stay home rather than be ignored, and I’m not sure I want to be there either. How do we navigate this without alienating our daughter?

—Heartsick

Dear Heartsick,

The only thing to do here is to get over yourselves. Your daughter and her fiancé are adults, they’re paying for their wedding, and they get to have the kind of celebration they want. Their special day is not about you; it’s about them and the life they want to build together.


They want to throw a smaller and far simpler affair than you’d envisioned—so what? This should be super obvious, but not everyone values the same traditions or wants a huge to-do. I understand feeling a little regretful that your daughter’s wedding won’t be just as you expected.
I don’t understand getting so worked up about it that you’d consider boycotting her day entirely. If you’re really willing to risk hurting and possibly becoming estranged from your child because she wants to get married without a bunch of arbitrary and ultimately unimportant “traditions,” your priorities are seriously, deeply messed up.

I noticed that your letter devoted exactly zero space to trying to understand what Alaina actually wants and why—but we can infer that her views differ from yours on a number of issues, at least. Nor did you say that you’re happy for her! You seem to be so wrapped up in your own disappointment that you aren’t even thinking about this as her celebration anymore. Let your daughter have her day and get married in the manner she wants. What’s important is not the size of the wedding or the number of old “traditions” checked off but her happiness. If you love her and want her to be happy, stop complaining, offer her your support, and show up at her wedding ready to celebrate her joy. But if you are unwilling to do that, do everyone a favor and stay away.


Wedding advice: My daughter has rejected all of our family’s traditions. I’m considering a drastic response.

Spoken like a thoughtless selfish narcissist egomaniac, me me me me me. I call bullshit on this post as well who the fuck drops family names and personal information on a website like this unless it's all bullshit.

 

[Butler1000]

It's another AI clickbait. Came up on my feed a few days ago on YouTube.

 

[Knuckle Ball]

Her sisters come off annoying too. Must run in the family. The whole bridezilla thing gets annoying because people like that don't understand how real life works and want perfection and control.

I suspect that the sister became a bridezilla in reaction to her mother’s intrusive over-involvement in her life which got super-out-of-control through the wedding- so then the sister started exploding on the Mom. And now Mom is writing to the Advice Columnist describing her daughter in a very bitter, angry manner (ie, bridezilla).

That’s why the daughter is putting her foot down so hard on all these so-called family tradition- she is trying to prevent her Mom from turning her wedding into the same fiasco that she created for the sister.

All this is obviously just my best guess…just like all of the rest of us…but I’m pretty sure this is what we are dealing with.

 

[Knuckle Ball]

It's another AI clickbait. Came up on my feed a few days ago on YouTube.

Pfft…I prefer to believe it is real.