Melania - The Doc

[silentkisser]

So, Amazon dropped $40m to buy the rights (and allegedly has spent another $35m to promote) to make a documentary about Melania Trump. Reportedly, she was able to pocket $28m of that money without having an ethical issues. The film is directed by Brett Ratner, and follows 20 days of Melania's life from the build up of the inauguration to the first few days of the new Trump administration. It is apparently being released in theatres across the world...Some analysts expect it will make maybe $1m its opening weekend, though a more optimistic take is maybe $5m.

Now, it wouldn't surprise me if some big Trump ass kisser boosted sales and bought out theatres out to boost the box office. I mean, they've done it before to promote Don Jr. crappy book and vault it to a NYT best seller. But, what an embarrassment this will be. You know it'll be bad when the studio isn't allowing critic screenings.

Here's some coverage:

Melania documentary struggles in UK cinemas as Vue admits sales are ‘soft’

Only one ticket sold for premiere of film about US first lady at Vue’s flagship London branch as insiders question launch strategy

www.theguardian.com

'Chaos': Behind the Scenes of Amazon's Melania Trump Doc

Crew members of the Amazon documentary "Melania: Twenty Days to History" detail a chaotic production process under Brett Ratner.

www.rollingstone.com

Letterboxd users are pre-swarming the “Melania” doc with amazingly mean reviews.

"🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮"

www.motherjones.com

https://www.cnn.com/2026/01/25/politics/melania-trump-documentary-test

 

[The Oracle]

I think they should a Kamala documentary...You know 20 days before the election.
Just to balance things out.

 

[mandrill]

 

[mandrill]

I think they should a Kamala documentary...You know 20 days before the election.
Just to balance things out.

But Kamala was an actual candidate and Melania is a parasitical hanger-on. That's the actual punchline.

Plus the fact that Bezos is throwing a $40M bribe at Trump.

 

[Anbarandy]

Melanianoma, Melanianoma, a Slovenian hooker's strange, moronic journey from Epstein Mansion to Merde a Lago.

 

[Insidious Von]

Melania promoting her doc on Stephen Colbert.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gGtW7KLSHbc

 

[geezerbuter]

Ya nothing fishy there - as legit as hunters paintings. Is this a remake of Debbie does dalls ? Mulania does Mar a lago

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

lmfao.

Trump, 79, Completely Forgets the Word “Alzheimer’s”

But don’t worry, Donald Trump says he doesn’t have it.

www.yahoo.com

 

[bggolfingmaniac]

Best review ever. On the Netflix Melania “documentary”:

"If they showed this film on a plane, people would still walk out." -Variety

 

[Intrinsic]

"All the world is a stage."

We went from Hollywood, to reality TV to actual reality now.
Meanwhile, it's always been reality.

 

[Frankfooter]

$35 million in UK advertising.
1 ticket sold.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/2016199702539055128

 

[Anbarandy]

"Great business ya got there Jeff. Hate to see something happen to it."

 

[bggolfingmaniac]

More reviews...

"I just saw the Melania movie and one thing I don’t understand is why she wanted to steal all those Dalmatians."

Abraham Lincoln said watching “Melania” was the worst experience he’s ever had in a theatre.

 

[anon1]

 

[Insidious Von]

I think they should a Kamala documentary...You know 20 days before the election.
Just to balance things out.

Mr Orifice have some respect for the departed.

 

[silentkisser]

Ya nothing fishy there - as legit as hunters paintings. Is this a remake of Debbie does dalls ? Mulania does Mar a lago

You know, the GOP and right-wing media lost their minds over Hunter's painting. Yet, they seem totally fine with the Trump family grifting at an unimaginably larger scale. I mean, Hunter sold $1.5M in paintings, but only got 60% (the gallery got the other 40%). Melania got $28M for this puff piece that will make nowhere as much as they spent on it. And, let's not forget Trump's other grifts that have made his family $1.6B more wealthy.

It would really be nice to see consistency from the right in these situations. But, we know they hypocrisy is strong with them.

 

[Frankfooter]

The social media posts on the film have been amazing.
But I kind of like this one, trump is so far gone he can't even remember what country she is from

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/2017039291247968635

 

[Insidious Von]

Jeff Bezos has his knees on his ears, he shouldn't be surprised to have sburra on his face.

 

[Valcazar]

But Kamala was an actual candidate and Melania is a parasitical hanger-on. That's the actual punchline.

That could actually be an interesting documentary, honestly.
Especially if they had a lot of behind the scenes footage.

 

[LickingG2]

I think they should a Kamala documentary...You know 20 days before the election.
Just to balance things out.

Who is they?
Both are really bad ideas. Who cares. Malenia is good looking but that's where it ends - assuming it isn't R-rated