Meeting Someone at 50 Years Old. Different Than 25

[oil&gas]

I have a lot to lose, as I earn over $100,000 a year, am mortgage free, and have been contributing to my retirement since I was 20 years old. I'll also have a 50% pension in ten years. A lot of things seem like they line up, but am wondering if I am making the financial issue a bigger deal than it should be? When I look at her, I'm constantly wondering if this would work out.

There must be men out there with your kind of financial security
who is happy to support a housewife doing all the daily chores. Perhaps
you should make up your mind if a financially separate relationship
is what you want. If you don't want someone who is financially
dependent on you I suggest having an independent spouse who is
making less money than you could be awkward as well depending
on her spending habits.

 

[jcpro]

50 and never married. Probably marriage is not for you. Your excuse is that hot working ladies spoiled you for civvies?
How in the world do you think you'll be happy with one dish on the menu for the rest of your life?

She is looking for a man with "good morals" and was hurt by her ex who cheated on her once...
Do you plan to be 100% faithful, or will you be just like her ex but worse?

You're already worried about what will happen financially both in a marriage with her and in case of divorce.

At no point in your original post do you say why you are even attracted to her and considering marriage, apart from having the same ethnic background.

I really don't see any chance for a successful long term relationship here, let alone marriage.

Exactly. She comes with defined moral standards, comes from a good and highly educated family while the OP wallowed in the sewer all his life- that's not my judgement, it's how they see him. At the first hint of the OP"s past he will be disposed with extreme prejudice. The financial worry, while valid, is also an indicator of how insecure he is about this "relationship". To be brutally honest, if this was it, his TERB account would be gone along with ALL other vestiges of the past and this conversation would had never even happened.

 

[Sonic Temple]

@poorboy - you don't need advice from us, you need to decide what life means to you. Just by reading your post life means financial security not someone to spend the rest of your life with - which is totally fair. If she was loaded you wouldn't be in this situation and you would continue to date her with no concern. Continue hobbying mate and enjoy the many SP's that the world puts in front of you. You waited this long - don't settle for shit and enjoy your wealth.

 

[out4fun]

You have a couple of years to figure it out. You can’t accumulate any obligations for her by dating or sleeping with her or even sharing accommodations with her initially. If the relationship gets serious you would need a cohabitation agreement to set some ground rules. Don’t over think things in the first year and just explore your compatibility and your comfort with pursuing a relationship.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Why do people want to break into jail?

 

[LickingG2]

Can you tell me what's wrong with being a 50 year old bachelor?

My wife died of cancer. I did the sp thing for awhile and it was great for a time but I got lonely and travelling with a sp on a two week trip is is very expensive. Even if you have the money months after the trip it feels like you have nothing to show for it. I starting seeing Sugar Babies. After awhile I found one that had the same interests and is older but still attractive and athletic. We have been living together for 3 years now and I can honestly say for me it's 10 times better than being alone.

 

[tastingyou]

My wife died of cancer. I did the sp thing for awhile and it was great for a time but I got lonely and travelling with a sp on a two week trip is is very expensive. Even if you have the money months after the trip it feels like you have nothing to show for it. I starting seeing Sugar Babies. After awhile I found one that had the same interests and is older but still attractive and athletic. We have been living together for 3 years now and I can honestly say for me it's 10 times better than being alone.

Very good for you. Enjoy to the fullest.

 

[danmand]

My wife died of cancer. I did the sp thing for awhile and it was great for a time but I got lonely and travelling with a sp on a two week trip is is very expensive. Even if you have the money months after the trip it feels like you have nothing to show for it. I starting seeing Sugar Babies. After awhile I found one that had the same interests and is older but still attractive and athletic. We have been living together for 3 years now and I can honestly say for me it's 10 times better than being alone.

I had a similar life (divorce not cancer), and the same conclusion.

Still, if the OP's main concern is money, I doubt it is right for him.

 

[Danny1832]

It really really depends on the woman. In your case you have a lot to lose. Why the rush? If she really feels the same way about you, then she’ll stick around long enough for you to get a better gauge. Live-in partner maybe?

 

[Leimonis]

Why do people want to break into jail?

When the fish is out of the net it wants to swim into the net and when the fish is in the net it wants to swim out of the net.

 

[decoy2673]

youre 50. no point in marriage at this point unless you want to piss half of your money away.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

When the fish is out of the net it wants to swim into the net and when the fish is in the net it wants to swim out of the net.

That's cats.

 

[angrymime666]

You have a couple of years to figure it out. You can’t accumulate any obligations for her by dating or sleeping with her or even sharing accommodations with her initially. If the relationship gets serious you would need a cohabitation agreement to set some ground rules. Don’t over think things in the first year and just explore your compatibility and your comfort with pursuing a relationship.

you can accumulate obligations, by living with her or spending time with the kids. family law is very sided for the best interest of the kids, even when they are not your biological kids. becoming significant in their lives means a financial burden on the mans part if she chooses to go to court.

the legal system is very one sided against men.

spending an hour with a family law lawyer opened my eyes and protected my empire.

 

[poorboy]

Thanks for the replies. Even the detractors have valid points. The answers diverge from non hobbyists in that they tell me to look at the person and decide if I can get along with her.

This video explains part of the reason why I am looking for someone. It can be a sad life being on your own in old age.

Dying Alone: Kodokushi, Japan's epidemic of isolation through the eyes of a 'lonely death' cleaner - YouTube

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Thanks for the replies. Even the detractors have valid points. The answers diverge from non hobbyists in that they tell me to look at the person and decide if I can get along with her.

This video explains part of the reason why I am looking for someone. It can be a sad life being on your own in old age.

Dying Alone: Kodokushi, Japan's epidemic of isolation through the eyes of a 'lonely death' cleaner - YouTube

Instead of proposing , just show her the vid. Should charm her . "Barkis is willing"

 

[JackBurton]

Maintain seperate residences. That’s key and what any good lawyer will tell you. Don’t let her and her kids move in, keep your home. In fact you can’ stay there and she can stay with you for visits but if you want to keep what you’ve worked hard for, maintain your own residence.

 

[coolmanfever]

you do not want to die old lonely. Either way you will have to pay for companion. Just looks at Rupert Murdoch and Wendi Deng relationship. Make sure both of you sign prenup and be upfront about it.

I used to fly to Germany and South American to visit brothels. I was surprised to meet many 50 year old ++ Canadian and American guys flying out of country to bang young girls for a week and then fly back home to take care family and kids. I ask them why they do it. They told me they still love their wife and kids. Banging young girls just release they inner horndog and pervert though so they can go home and be a better husband

 

[MissElizabeth]

Thanks for the replies. Even the detractors have valid points. The answers diverge from non hobbyists in that they tell me to look at the person and decide if I can get along with her.

This video explains part of the reason why I am looking for someone. It can be a sad life being on your own in old age.

Dying Alone: Kodokushi, Japan's epidemic of isolation through the eyes of a 'lonely death' cleaner - YouTube

Don't get married just because you don't want to die alone and you shouldn't get married for a just because reason. If you don't want to be lonely get a dog, a cat or even fish. When you get married it should be because the other person feels like your "home", where you both can find each other anywhere in a room just by feeling them and when just the thought of them brings a giant smile to your face and makes your tummy flip. Getting married "just because" can be even lonelier than being single and is that something you want to risk? Continue to date her, take your time to see where things can go with the both of you but don't think about marriage just because.

 

[Just Looking For A Latina]

Marriage, common law or just living together is an economic relationship. After three dates, do you really think it is a good idea to enter into and economic relationship with someone? If the answer is yes then do it. If the answer is no then do not. Once you enter into the economic relationship, do not complain if it fails. If you do not enter the economic relationship, that does not mean you never will. Maybe after a year you both may determine that it makes sense. There is almost always an imbalance. 60-40 is ok, 90-10? Maybe.

Relationships which are arranged by families can work since you are uniting two families. It is good that her two children want her to date. How does your family feel about her. About her children? Understand when two people unite, you are marrying the families.

Romantic love is wonderful. Can it last for the next 30 years? MissElizabeth thoughts are wonderful! If you want someone in your 80's do you think it will still be romantic love? MissElizabeth is correct do not just enter just because.

The argument that being alone is sad if flawed. There are many marriages where people are alone. Read many posts on this forum and you will read that men see SP's because of sexless and empty marriages. But there are with someone. This is sad, living a lie. Do you have human connections? A community? If you answer yes, then you are not alone.

 

[jeff2]

More people are living alone than ever in Canada.
2016 census: Highlights of latest data on language, marital status, households | CBC News
I believe that globally, going solo is also the trend.
Furthermore, a study published in the journal Genetics suggests that one's choice of spouse may have a greater impact on lifespan than genetics.
If you are in bad relationship you may not die alone but you also may not live as long.