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Married with Children Thread

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
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Between a rock and a hard place
There just aren't enough reruns of that classic groundbreaking show.
I dug up a few memories to share.

"Psycho Dad"
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Who's that riding in the sun?
Who's the man with the itchy gun?
Who's the man who kills for fun?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Dad.

He sleeps with a gun
but he loves his son

Killed his wife 'cos she weighed a ton.
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Dad.

A little touched or so we're told
Killed his wife 'cos she had a cold
Might as well she was getting old
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Dad.

He's quick with a gun
And his job ain't done.
He's Psycho Dad

Who's that riding in the sleigh?
Who's that firing along the way?
Who's roughing up bums on Christmas day?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad

Who's that riding across the plain?
Who's proud 'cos his wife is slain?
Who's the man who's plumb insane?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
 

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
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Between a rock and a hard place
Old Aid

Old-Aid"
---------
We are the old, we've got arthritis
Our gums are weak ( so weak ) from gingivitis

We are the old, we've got arthritis
We are the ones who wear bifocals and have bursitis

There are people younger but we heed another call
We really need the money, our accountants took it all
We sing to you, those who have money
Once we was cool, but now we just dress funny
We need your help, so please please dig deep
Don't call after 10 'cos we'll be asleep
We have medicare and anti-gas pills
But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills

We are the old [ they are the old ]
We have arthritis [ they have arthritis ]
Once we were gods, no golf excites us [ golf excites 'em ]
So write a check ( a really big one ) for our december
There's another verse, but we can't remember
 

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
Grandmaster B Nicknames

Bud's Grandmaster B nicknames from the show
-------------------------------------------
Abdominizer B (Kelly)
Bassmaster B (Al)
Bed Wetter B (Kelly)
Bellringer B (?)
Buckminster B (Al)
Burgermeister B (Peg)
Bushwacker B (Kelly)
Butt Wagger B (Kelly)
Court Jester B (Peg)
Crossdressr B (Kelly)
Dustbuster B (Bud's date)
Gas Passer B (Al)
Ghostbuster B (Kelly)
Grand Bastard B (Kelly)
Grand Flasher B (?)
Grand Marshal B (Peg)
Grandfather B (Al)
Grandma B (Kelly)
Grandmaster Virgin (Kelly)
Grand Pappy B (Kelly)
Grasshopper B (Al)
Grave Digger B (?)
Grinchmaster B (TV host)
Mixmaster B (Bud's Date)
Thumb Sucker B (Kelly)
 

3Tees

New member
Aug 28, 2002
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It certainly was a classic. Some of my memories:

- Wanker County
- Toaster leavin's
- "If it came out of the fridge, why is it hot?"
- No Ma'am, and the Church of No Ma'am
- Buderache
- "At the nudie bar..."
- Officer Dan and Bob Rooney
- Miranda Vera Cruz De La Joya Cardinal

Too many memories...
 

unshavencuban

Banned
Oct 18, 2004
567
0
0
get a grip Tina-dont tell me you do the same shit with that brutal desperate housewives or some stupid soap
Married with children is a classi
dont bitch-us weird guys pay your bills :p
 

Tina_Ballerina

Blondes Are More Fun
Jul 14, 2004
307
0
0
Toronto
unshavencuban said:
get a grip Tina-dont tell me you do the same shit with that brutal desperate housewives or some stupid soap
Married with children is a classi
dont bitch-us weird guys pay your bills
I watched Married With Children and I dont remember any of this stuff....and I dont watch soaps....and thanks for paying my bills :) not like I didn't work for it though
 

Don

Active member
Aug 23, 2001
6,288
10
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Toronto
Tina_Ballerina said:
I watched Married With Children and I dont remember any of this stuff....and I dont watch soaps....and thanks for paying my bills :) not like I didn't work for it though
You were most likely too young to remember the commotion that show caused when it first came out. Gotta remember that most of the other family shows were so tame (The Cosby Show, Full House, Growing Pains, etc...) that there was nothing like MWC at the time ...it was so shocking and pushed the envelope so hard that it was just amazing. If you watch reruns now, it looks fairly tame and kinda lame actually but that show was a groundbreaker.
 

Tina_Ballerina

Blondes Are More Fun
Jul 14, 2004
307
0
0
Toronto
Don said:
You were most likely too young to remember the commotion that show caused when it first came out. Gotta remember that most of the other family shows were so tame (The Cosby Show, Full House, Growing Pains, etc...) that there was nothing like MWC at the time ...it was so shocking and pushed the envelope so hard that it was just amazing. If you watch reruns now, it looks fairly tame and kinda lame actually but that show was a groundbreaker.
True...I'm just a young tart, what would I know.... :rolleyes:

I do know what you're saying though.
 
May 4, 2005
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Christina Applegate was hot then and now. Thought she was hot in Anchorman.

Marcy Rhoades, the neighbor, was hot too. Don't know why Al and others kept making ugly jokes about her.
 

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
Memorable chicken lines from different episodes...

< Al & Peg check the kids teeth instead of going to a dentist>
Steve: " This is against the law, Al."
Al: " So's dressing up a chicken and calling it your wife."
Marcie: <hands on hips elbows bent and pointing up like wings>
" I am not a chicken. I am not a chicken."
Steve: " Marcie, don't get your feathers ruffled."

=====
Al: " Marice just gave me an idea. Actually two. One, I want chicken tonight and, 2, I'm discontinuing your allowance."

=====
Marcie: " God, I hate men."
Al: " I thought you were man's best friend...Oh, that's a dog not a chicken."

=====
Al: " Peg, you looked like you swallowed a canary. Bertha, you look like you swallowed a cow who swallowed a canary. Marcie...you look like a chicken."
 

3Tees

New member
Aug 28, 2002
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Tina_Ballerina said:
You guys are weird........ :rolleyes:
I have been called a lot worse for loving this series. As others have said it was groundbreaking, and exceptionally funny to boot. It was really one of the first "anti-sitcoms". Sure it was relatively "vulgar", but everything was done tongue firmly planted in cheek. Most people who were offended by it did not realize that it was satire at its best, and it particularly satarized the entire "Politically Correct" movement happening at the time.

The show also featured Pam Anderson, Rene Zellweiger and Matt Leblanc long before they became stars.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must park "The Mighty Dodge" in "Executive Level Z Parking" in the mall, open "Gary's Shoe Store", stare all day at women's feet, and relive my glory days when I scored "four touchdowns in a single game."
 

Bud Plug

Sexual Appliance
Aug 17, 2001
5,069
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Tina_Ballerina said:
I watched Married With Children and I dont remember any of this stuff....and I dont watch soaps....and thanks for paying my bills :) not like I didn't work for it though
Hey Tina,

Sorry if you've answered this before, but what is the dark splotch around your belly on the picture you've posted?
 

Meister

Well-known member
Apr 17, 2003
4,191
273
83
I liked Christina Applegate much better back then. It seems like every cute actress has to be skin and bones these days. Look at Lohan, Ritchie, Duff, they are all just skeletons.
 

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,989
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
Applegate is a true comedienne. Lohan, Duff, and the Olsens are products of marketing with no staying power. Now adults, they will have to rely on original thought and talent to persevere. If they are still around in 10 years I will stop paying to see movies and burn my television.

Of course Al Bundy didn't make fat acceptance any easier for women...

Al: " Wherever a fat woman shoves a smelly foot in a poor guy's face, I'll be there. Wherever a guy tries to return a pair of shoes he's worn for three months, I'll be there. Wherever kids come in with old shoes and try to sneak out with new ones, I'll be there, too . Madam, if Shamu ever needs a mate, you'll be there."

=====
Customer: " It's because of guys like that that I don't wear shorts anymore."
Al: " You sure it wasn't because of the guys with the harpoons?"

=====
Fat Lady: " I need shoes."
Al: " The blacksmith's right around the corner."

-----
<Al has an overdue Library book from his childhood in 1957>
Librarian: " Could it be that you don't have the money. Could it be that you're a failure like I always knew you'd be."
Al: " Could it be that the nails that hold you chair together are from the planet Krypton."

Librarian: " You've become the Freddie Krueger of the library system."
Al: " Does 'suey' mean anything to you?"

Librarian: " I could've retired 15 years ago. Do you know why I stayed?"
Al: " You learned to eat library books."

=====
Customer: " Your ad said 'Shoes to fit every foot.'"
Al: " What we have here is not what Webster defines as feet. Face it, we have rib roasts with nails."

=====
<At the beach>
Fat Lady: " You're in my sun. I'm trying to get an all-over tan."
Al: " You're asking alot of the sun."

=====
<When Al discovered he needed glasses>
Al: " People who sell shoes to fat women in skirts should not have 20/20 vision."

< Al drove into a river without his glasses>
Al: " Does it occur to anyone that I read 'Bridge Ends Here' just fine and just floored it?"

=====
Al: " A fat woman came into the store and said she was a size 5. I stuck her hoof into the shoe. My thumb got stuck, she paniced, reared up, and galloped around the store, dragging me behind. Thank god a stick of butter fell from her purse and I was able to grease my thumb and escape."

=====
Fat Lady: " I want my money back. I've worn these shoes only once and they split at the sides."
Al: " Let me explain. Just like an elevator, there's a 2 ton weight limit. How about I just nail the soles to the bottom of your feet to give you added traction while you're pulling the ice wagon."
Fat Lady: " You'll be hearing from my lawyers."
Al: " Is that the firm of Hagen & Daas?"

=====
<Al Meets his Old Cheerleader girlfriend who has put on some weight...>

Al: " I'm 45. I've lived, I've loved and then I even married."

Al: < to Peg> "Do you remember the name of the cheerleader I liked before I got drunk and woke up married to you?"

<Al sees his old flame>
Sandy: " Do you like what you see?"
Al: " I don't know. I haven't taken it all in yet."

< Al's trying to get ball back from fat old girlfriend>
Al: " You know I only dance if I'm gonna get some sex for it."
< She gives him the look>
Al: < thinking> "That sure opened an ugly door"

Girl: " Remember our song? Dance with me if it comes on."
Al: " Only if it comes on."
< Radio starts playing that song>
Al: " Good one, God."
 

Tyler1

New member
Dec 13, 2002
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Mississauga
Al: "girls with big underpants have big stuff under their pants"

Al: "pretty girls make us buy beer, ugly girls make us drink beer"

Jefferson: "Having sex with a pregnant woman is like putting gas in a car you just wrecked."
Al: "Well luckily Peg pulls into self service."

"Toaster leavin's" I still use this one when refering to crumbs

Probably my all time favorite show. BTW, Christina Applegte was so much hotter when she cut her hair and dressed sexy instead of slutty.
Also, Jefferson was much better than that pussy Steve.
That stupid kid Seven was the biggest mistake of the show.
 

3Tees

New member
Aug 28, 2002
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Tyler1 said:
That stupid kid Seven was the biggest mistake of the show.
Seven was when MWC "Jumped The Shark". It is common lore that whenever Ted McGinley shows up is when a show "Jumps The Shark" (The Love Boat, Happy Days). However, I thought he was great as Jefferson.
 
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