As long as they're both happy and feel fulfilled in that arrangement, good for them!
Loveless marriages
- Thread starter shakenbake
- Start date
Couldn't think of any other way to answer since I don't know you well enough to answer otherwise. Others may provide better options.
LTO_3
Divorced at 74 what was the reason?
I met and know a family member that said I will get divorced at 65 and they did. But it seem after so many years I notice they seem to be wanted to be left alone. Their belief is kids should be there when she / they are sick to take care of them. Even a religious female neighbor seem to be in the same boat. Never worked in her life, just for the church. During high school she met her husband and got married right after wards and had 5 kids. Then divorced, relied on her kids to give for her renovations.
I'm an occasional dirty bustard. My hobby time has no relation to my relationship. I'm a careful bunny as to when, how etc. I take care of all my shit at home. Make sure she is loved. Since the pandemic that and age have slowed things a bit.
Beyond that I like kibbutzing here. Lots of interesting threads. And the option to stir things up in the politics section. I like the anonymity from a social media standpoint.
We really grew to dislike each other around the 10th year of our 28 year marriage, but stayed together for the kids.
When we took them out for dinner, at their ages of 23 and 25, and told them we were separating, but would of course always love them and be there for them, our 25 year old son said "Well, it's about time!"
Both our children were mature and OK with it. My ex and I see them separately , but regularly.
Interestingly, the divorce was relatively amicable. My ex and I talk every few months or so, and our conversations are pleasant. Mostly catching up with current personal and general life events, and talking about our children and how they're doing.
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Here's an old Jewish joke, somewhat untasteful, that applies to some situations:
Sheldon, 91 years of age, and his wife Sarah, 89 years of age, make an appointment with their long-time family lawyer, Abie, who happens to be 97.
At the meeting, Abie tells them that their Wills and Powers of Attorney are in order, and he wonders why they came to see him.
Sheldon says "We want a divorce!"
Abie is shocked, and says "A divorce? At your ages? Why now?"
Sarah answers "We had to wait for the children to die..."
Sheldon, 91 years of age, and his wife Sarah, 89 years of age, make an appointment with their long-time family lawyer, Abie, who happens to be 97.
At the meeting, Abie tells them that their Wills and Powers of Attorney are in order, and he wonders why they came to see him.
Sheldon says "We want a divorce!"
Abie is shocked, and says "A divorce? At your ages? Why now?"
Sarah answers "We had to wait for the children to die..."
If you're in a bad marriage, and are staying in it for the children, once they are over 16 they can pretty much sense the tension and petty insults, etc. that often arise in those situations between spouses.
Generally you're not doing the children a favor by staying in the marriage once they know its bad, and are mature enough to handle the split.
Witnessing your unhappy situation can even discourage their own hopes for happy romantic relationships down the line...
Generally you're not doing the children a favor by staying in the marriage once they know its bad, and are mature enough to handle the split.
Witnessing your unhappy situation can even discourage their own hopes for happy romantic relationships down the line...
I am assuming you are older gent with many years of mirrage experience that can provide wisdoms to younger gents here.
How frequent are you dirty Bustard. Once a week or once a month or once few months?
How can you still get the hard on for your wife at home to have intimate sex life while hobby seeing other hotter sps on the side?
Reading about other people’s experiences and opinions could be an enlightening experience but I hope folks don’t generalize based on anecdotal evidence.
Every relationship is unique. From personal experience, a marriage is a lot of work. A marriage with children is even more work.
If there’s some fundamental incompatibility, it might make sense to end a marriage sooner rather than later. But it’s also possible that the perceived incompatibility (by one or both parties in the relationship) is a mental crutch used to justify a break-up and an excuse to avoid putting in the necessary work.
This is not to say that the work that defines a marriage is even “worth” it. But whether it is worth it or not is also an entirely personal calculation.
Every relationship is unique. From personal experience, a marriage is a lot of work. A marriage with children is even more work.
If there’s some fundamental incompatibility, it might make sense to end a marriage sooner rather than later. But it’s also possible that the perceived incompatibility (by one or both parties in the relationship) is a mental crutch used to justify a break-up and an excuse to avoid putting in the necessary work.
This is not to say that the work that defines a marriage is even “worth” it. But whether it is worth it or not is also an entirely personal calculation.
Over 30 years in. Hobby every few months now. Since the pandemic it's not as important. I figured that out during it. I didn't miss it.
There is a difference between transactional nooky and the real deal. The transactional is fleeting, not really important. It isn't anything I need.
And honestly, I find myself preferring GND over DDG. Most of my life looks were not the driving factor for me. And its different again with love.
Ya just gotta have it to understand it.
Some people stay because of children, finances, or fear of change. They learn to numb themselves or focus on other areas of life. This kos dating site is honestly one of the best I’ve used. The atmosphere is positive, and conversations don’t feel like a waste of time. I’ve met people with real goals and shared interests, which makes dating so much easier.
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... or shame
same way people put up a happy front when inside they are miserable
D
discreetdork
My wife and I love each other very much. There isn’t a lot of sex in our marriage like there use to be due to her chronic illnesses and I accept that. I do care for her very much and desperately want her to be ok.
We sit back and watch the resident lately and it just feels so perfect and what life was meant to be like in a marriage where two people are on the same page.
We sit back and watch the resident lately and it just feels so perfect and what life was meant to be like in a marriage where two people are on the same page.
Agree with this. Even at younger ages kids can feel the chronic tension and resentment in an unhappy marriage, and it has a bigger impact on them vs those 16 and up, who are more able to understand, and have most of their development already done. I’ve known some kids who’s parents stayed together (despite basically hating each other) for the “sake of the kids” who have ended up quite fucked up as a result.
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Holy smokes Butl
Holy smokes Butler 1000.... You are living my life exactly. I couldn't describe myself better that you just did.
657 d. weergaven · 19 d. reacties | Men are simple.... Would you agree? Men, if you feel your needs are not being met comment 'Warrior'. | The Battlefield Of The Mind
Men are simple.... Would you agree? Men, if you feel your needs are not being met comment 'Warrior'.
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I think the reality is that the majority of men don’t bail on their families. No matter how miserable, unhappy, unloved and unappreciated… we stay. As a divorced guy, a part of me will always want what I had because of the kids, it was the only world I knew and had a sense of stability.
If you look at the studies and data, women leave relationships more than men do. It takes VERY little for them to go find someone else. “Work husbands” spend more time with them, eat meals with them, occasionally flirt with them, and more than anything empathize and talk with them.
Long story short… surviving a loveless marriage is exactly that… survival. As men, we will attempt to survive and protect ourselves and the world we know.
How many loveless marriages are there in the world… more than there are loving ones.
