Limericks

[MissCroft]

There once was a girl from Madras,
who had such a beautiful ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you probably think, but grey,
with long ears and ate grass.


The limerick is callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
by persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.


Yes, I'm bored....:frusty:

 

[shack]

There was a young lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina in South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

There was a young girl from the Azores
Whose crotch was all covered in sores
Not even the dogs in the street
Would eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers

 

[xmontrealer]

One of my favourites from the TV series "The Crown".

Episode 1 of the series, with Elizabeth's father, King George VI, reciting the following:

There once was a Duchess of Bray
Who, you might find it strange when I say,
In spite of her station,
And high education,
Would often spell cunt with a "K".

 

[xmontrealer]

Here's an oldie:

There once was a lady from Exeter,
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
Just to be rude, she lay in the nude,
While her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.

 

[jonesville]

There once was a couple from Kildare
Who tried to fuck on the stair
On the thirty third stroke,
The bannister broke,
And they finished it off in the air.

There was a young man from Delray
Who buggered his father one day.
He said “I like rather,
To pass it up father,
He’s clean, and there’s nothing to pay.”

 

[danmand]

Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

 

[Buick Mackane]

A young lass in Dallas named Alice
Whose overworked cunt is all callous
Wore the foreskin away
On uncircumcised Ray
Through exuberance, tightness, and malice