Letter from a "pervert."

[Fallsguy]

Hello fellow Terbites.
OK, here's where I'm at. Let me take this opportunity (my last) to share a bit of "personal" info.
I'm a somewhat shy person, and an academic, a bit of an egghead I guess you could call me. I'm not very good with small talk and have not been very good at meeting new people, especially women, who tend not to be very interested in me, although I'm not bad looking, not overweight. I've kept myself in pretty good shape, and despite being in my late fifties, I still have most of my hair.
My wife left me nine years ago. She took off with a colleague we used to have over some times for dinner. When she said that "Ed" needed a girlfriend I didn't think she met herself. Anyway, I have relied on escorts for human companionship and intimacy. Otherwise I'd have gone stock raving mad. Now, according to my government, I'm not only a criminal, but I'm also a pervert. So, loneliness and need for intimacy will soon, if this wretched bill passes, make me a criminal. My need for the company of a pretty woman that I don't have to play games with or promise the world to has made me a pervert.
So, if this bill passes and becomes law, I can't afford sex tourism and I will have no one. So, I've decided I'll run myself a nice warm bath, pour myself a glass of my favourite wine, and take almost a year's worth of prescription sleeping pills.
I must admit I've been trying to keep myself together, but I've been crying off and on now for several days, alone, not in public, not at work, and I can't face the prospect of having to break the law so I won't be alone.
I hate this bill, I hate this government, I hate Peter McKay, Stephen Harper and their sanctimonious hypocracy. I hope they burn in Hell.

 

[fuji]

So, I've decided I'll run myself a nice warm bath, pour myself a glass of my favourite wine, and take almost a year's worth of prescription sleeping pills.

I don't know if you meant this seriously, but I will take it seriously. Don't do this. You have multiple problems in your life, the loss of legal SP's being only a factor that compounds the other problems. All of it can be reset and you can find a path to a more fulfilling life.

Call 416 408 4357. Do it now, no need to wait until you get to the last straw, they can help you.

You can work through the big problems, there is help, you do not need to be alone. As for SP's, make some trusted connections now that will get you through the first year of the new law. Then, see how things are.

 

[bobcat40]

The bill hasn't even been passed yet. If you feel so strongly perhaps you should channel your energy into joining or organizing a protest or something...

 

[Don Draper]

Hello fellow Terbites.
OK, here's where I'm at. Let me take this opportunity (my last) to share a bit of "personal" info.
I'm a somewhat shy person, and an academic, a bit of an egghead I guess you could call me. I'm not very good with small talk and have not been very good at meeting new people, especially women, who tend not to be very interested in me, although I'm not bad looking, not overweight. I've kept myself in pretty good shape, and despite being in my late fifties, I still have most of my hair.
My wife left me nine years ago. She took off with a colleague we used to have over some times for dinner. When she said that "Ed" needed a girlfriend I didn't think she met herself. Anyway, I have relied on escorts for human companionship and intimacy. Otherwise I'd have gone stock raving mad. Now, according to my government, I'm not only a criminal, but I'm also a pervert. So, loneliness and need for intimacy will soon, if this wretched bill passes, make me a criminal. My need for the company of a pretty woman that I don't have to play games with or promise the world to has made me a pervert.
So, if this bill passes and becomes law, I can't afford sex tourism and I will have no one. So, I've decided I'll run myself a nice warm bath, pour myself a glass of my favourite wine, and take almost a year's worth of prescription sleeping pills.
I must admit I've been trying to keep myself together, but I've been crying off and on now for several days, alone, not in public, not at work, and I can't face the prospect of having to break the law so I won't be alone.
I hate this bill, I hate this government, I hate Peter McKay, Stephen Harper and their sanctimonious hypocracy. I hope they burn in Hell.

Please read this as if it was someone sending it to you.

Think about it long and hard before you do anything or write something like this again.

The different perspective could be a fresh catalyst for what ails you.

 

[bazokajoe]

fuji.....that girl in your sig pic is so freakin cute!

 

[freedom3]

OP:

You don't need to do anything drastic yet. In all likelihood, under the new laws, the police will continue to remain focused on the real criminals (murderers, sex traffickers, etc.) and not pursue outcalls/incalls. Remember, even under the current laws, every incall agency could be busted and the police do not intervene unless something extraordinary is taking place (ie. a minor).

 

[staggerspool]

What about the 80 000 men charged for soliciting prostitutes every year in the US ? Most of them thought that they won't be the ones charged until it happened to them.

Source or it isn't real.

 

[rhuarc29]

You'll get no argument from me that the law is ridiculous, and supported by people with very narrow viewpoints. I don't think it's possible for people like them to have empathy for people like you. But certainly there are people who can, and also people who are in the same situation as you. While using SPs to fulfill your need for social interaction probably isn't the healthiest, it's better than closing yourself off from everyone. Certainly, our society isn't set up to help people like you.

Even so, I'd urge you to take some time. Make an effort to achieve what you want in life. There are things out there you've never experienced; and maybe don't know exist or believe can't exist for you. It's not true. Often, all the holds us back from being who we want to be, is the belief we can't be.

 

[tegR]

I'm not bad looking, not overweight. I've kept myself in pretty good shape, and despite being in my late fifties, I still have most of my hair.
My wife left me nine years ago.

In this, you show you've got a reserve of solid self esteem. Self-esteem is the basic raw material of confidence, and true confidence - of who you are, what you want and in your willingness to go out and get it... confidence will get you further with civilians than any amount of dollars, "game" or washboard abs. You have sufficient esteem for yourself that you feel the need to preamble a self-deprecating and destructive rant with a statement that you aren't really such a bad prospect. That tells me you can't (really) stand the thought of your readers thinking of you as a pathetic dirtbag neck-beard in mommy's basement. That you are at some (not too deep) level proud of who you are and what you have accomplished in life. Think about this, and get your head straight. You are not ANYWHERE remotely so far-gone as to be considering any of this sleeping pills nonsense. Don't be absurd.

Regarding C-36... So far, nothing has changed - NO NEW LAW HAS BEEN PASSED.

Even if it is passed, in all its horrifying witch burning, bible thumping inquisitional blue-eyed taliban glory (unlikely - there will be watering down) - it remains to be seen how and to what extent it will be ENFORCED. You are and have been facing the prospect of breaking the law with every visit to an incall (bawdy house.) Unenforced law, but the law nonetheless. You issue is not and never was with a moral qualm about breaking the law - it is and will remain a deathly fear of arrest/charges/ruination... and rightfully so. HOWEVER - consider this - the new law, whatever form it eventually takes, is as vulnerable to under-enforcement or non-enforcement as the old. Effectively, wait and see - if no meaningful level of enforcement is going on then there is no net difference in risk. Even if the "declared" penalty is public beheading or stoning to death on the parliament hill lawn, unless police enforce, juries convict, judges uphold and etc that threat, as the bawdy house threat of old, is utterly moot.

Either way, does it not warrant at least a wait and see?

And lastly, even if things go down the darkest road... why would you even consider simply letting your enemies win? You are a Canadian Citizen. You have the right to protest, the right to petition government, the right to vote. You can resist. Bedford resisted, and won. No prison for her, no record, no ruination, no humiliation. How ill-advised or inconsiderate her actions ultimately were to others can be debated but that is immaterial here. What matters is that if You believe that what the government is doing is unconstitutional, or even simply un-Canadian and contrary to the (higher) laws of the land, contrary to the general ideology of your society, then for God's Sake RESIST. Men have died to give you that right. When Herr Reichsminister of Justice MacKay and das Furher (and defender of the Faith) Adolf Harper label you deviant, pervert and criminal... what message do you send by quietly disappearing? It says they were right, it smacks of guilt. If bloody Bedford and her farcical leathers-and-riding crop schtick can stand up to power (and shut them down) then why cannot YOU?

 

[staggerspool]

Why are you so afraid of breaking the law? I get it if you're afraid that co-workers etc find out, but if it's on principle, I'd think again. (And if it is about co-workers, fuck them. What have they done to help you?) If there's perversion involved, it's on the part of a cynical government who will betray vulnerable people for votes.

These guys can't stand the idea that someone else might enjoy string free sex. There was a thread on Joy Smith a while back where people speculated that she has never had an orgasm. That could be right, but I be she has, and it frightened the hell out of her. I imagine that Harper is the same - orgasm is a state where you aren't in control. That has to be terrifying to a guy who can't give up ANY control. Mackay is even worse - he knows better, he's just playing to the simple minded base of his party. He's a whore, plain and simple. And in the bad sense. I myself like prostitutes. Jesus married one!

These are not happy people. Power is everything, and no matter what, power will someday leave them. Then they are nothing.

I'd take some time to cool out, and then notice that if you are smart nothing is really likely to change.

 

[basketcase]

OP. Seems you have some serious issues with depression. Go see a doctor and get some help.

 

[freestuff]

Certainly, our society isn't set up to help people like you.

What?!?
-1.

 

[legmann]

In this, you show you've got a reserve of solid self esteem. Self-esteem is the basic raw material of confidence, and true confidence - of who you are, what you want and in your willingness to go out and get it... confidence will get you further with civilians than any amount of dollars, "game" or washboard abs. You have sufficient esteem for yourself that you feel the need to preamble a self-deprecating and destructive rant with a statement that you aren't really such a bad prospect. That tells me you can't (really) stand the thought of your readers thinking of you as a pathetic dirtbag neck-beard in mommy's basement. That you are at some (not too deep) level proud of who you are and what you have accomplished in life. Think about this, and get your head straight. You are not ANYWHERE remotely so far-gone as to be considering any of this sleeping pills nonsense. Don't be absurd.

Regarding C-36... So far, nothing has changed - NO NEW LAW HAS BEEN PASSED.

Even if it is passed, in all its horrifying witch burning, bible thumping inquisitional blue-eyed taliban glory (unlikely - there will be watering down) - it remains to be seen how and to what extent it will be ENFORCED. You are and have been facing the prospect of breaking the law with every visit to an incall (bawdy house.) Unenforced law, but the law nonetheless. You issue is not and never was with a moral qualm about breaking the law - it is and will remain a deathly fear of arrest/charges/ruination... and rightfully so. HOWEVER - consider this - the new law, whatever form it eventually takes, is as vulnerable to under-enforcement or non-enforcement as the old. Effectively, wait and see - if no meaningful level of enforcement is going on then there is no net difference in risk. Even if the "declared" penalty is public beheading or stoning to death on the parliament hill lawn, unless police enforce, juries convict, judges uphold and etc that threat, as the bawdy house threat of old, is utterly moot.

Either way, does it not warrant at least a wait and see?

And lastly, even if things go down the darkest road... why would you even consider simply letting your enemies win? You are a Canadian Citizen. You have the right to protest, the right to petition government, the right to vote. You can resist. Bedford resisted, and won. No prison for her, no record, no ruination, no humiliation. How ill-advised or inconsiderate her actions ultimately were to others can be debated but that is immaterial here. What matters is that if You believe that what the government is doing is unconstitutional, or even simply un-Canadian and contrary to the (higher) laws of the land, contrary to the general ideology of your society, then for God's Sake RESIST. Men have died to give you that right. When Herr Reichsminister of Justice MacKay and das Furher (and defender of the Faith) Adolf Harper label you deviant, pervert and criminal... what message do you send by quietly disappearing? It says they were right, it smacks of guilt. If bloody Bedford and her farcical leathers-and-riding crop schtick can stand up to power (and shut them down) then why cannot YOU?

Excellent post.

 

[rhuarc29]

What?!?
-1.

What?

Seems to me he's anti-social. SPs are his lifeline, because they offer him something he can't get otherwise without going out of his comfort zone. Those supporting this bill don't give two shits about people like him, which I personally find disgusting. What's wrong with him being willing to buy an hour of companionship and intimacy? Nothing, but you'll get looked down on for doing it.

I found it surprising that its the older generation who are more willing to legalize the practice than the younger generation; given that the younger generation seems to be more liberal-minded. So why is that? Probably because they can't empathize with people in the OP's position and because they're on a moral crusade.

If the OP can't get his desired companionship and intimacy from SPs, and he's not comfortable or not practiced at socializing where he can be turned down, what are his options? Therapy sessions? While that may alleviate some of his loneliness for brief periods of time, and work towards relieving some of his anxiety in meeting people the "normal" way, it's far from a sure thing. And medication won't treat the underlying issues. Seems to me what he needs is an environment where he can socialize without fear of rejection, which is what he currently has and fears losing.

Of course, I could be way off the mark with all of that; it's just how it looks like to me.

 

[bubble pop]

If the OP can't get his desired companionship and intimacy from SPs, and he's not comfortable or not practiced at socializing where he can be turned down, what are his options? Therapy sessions? While that may alleviate some of his loneliness for brief periods of time, and work towards relieving some of his anxiety in meeting people the "normal" way, it's far from a sure thing.

Yeah it seems like OP needs to be ok with social interactions not being a "sure thing". I don't know how an academic can't afford sex tourism though.

 

[lovelatinas]

What about the 80 000 men charged for soliciting prostitutes every year in the US ? Most of them thought that they won't be the ones charged until it happened to them.

In a country of about 170,000 million people about 1/3 adult males, that's really a small percentage.

 

[lovelatinas]

Don't do what you are considering doing. It would make Mr. Harper, Mr. MacKay and Joy Smith happy because one less pervert in their eyes is morale and just. You cannot let them win this way. You can vote the conservatives out of office and that is my friend making them pay the ultimate price.

 

[Ace88]

I agree with Staggerspool: if you aren't afraid of death, then why should you fear the law? Just keep doing exactly what you're doing and don't change a thing.

 

[IM469]

I hate this bill, I hate this government, I hate Peter McKay, Stephen Harper and their sanctimonious hypocrisy. I hope they burn in Hell.

You may feel alone but you are not on this sentiment. It is obvious they really don't care about the prostitutes nor the customers - only a deep yearning to try and turn all society into a WASP society as they enjoyed watching on 1950's TV.

 

[KBear]

We don’t know how this new law, if it even passes as it is, will play out in our area.

Demien2k5 suggestions in his thread are good to prepare for the worst case scenario.
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?484743-Food-for-thought-for-the-guys-going-forward

Should really try to save up some money to go on holidays in a place like Cuba. A 4 hour flight, a week off and about $1000, and your eyes will open to a new world. Most guys travel alone, and it is easy to hook up with other experienced guys once you are there if you go to the right resorts. It might be mentally difficult to go for the first time, but once you become accustomed to everything it is easy.