Is my life fucked?

[Tank0421]

I watch a shit load of youtube, mostly people doing things I wish I could be doing. That might not be helping.

If I can provide some advice.
it seems like the majority of your thoughts and feelings are negative; that needs to stop ASAP.
If not already, you need to start incorporating things that even for a moment, will take your mind away from these negative thoughts.
For example, strenuous exercise helps bring you to a point of physical pain where you don't think of the mental/emotional pain and as well exercise
gives you endorphins that can bring up your mood even if only temporary.
If you go on hikes start incorporating jogging or running into that; It will completely change the experience believe me.
Find some sort of hobby or find new interests can help keep you occupied and as well can help you uncover some new talents or skills that can benefit you down the road.

Join some sort of clubs or group clubs at your local community centres or something; you need to get out and meet people.

Also if you are on youtube instead of watching videos living vicariously through others there are hours and hours of self-help motivational videos you can watch.
Look up individuals like David Goggins, Jocko Willink, and Jordan Peterson. David Goggins has literally changed peoples lives through his book, interviews and social media presence.

50 is not old. You owe it to yourself to atleast give yourself a chance to eliminate what could be regrets.
It won't be easy but you need to develop some self-esteem and self-respect.
Once you develop self-respect others will notice it, your kids will notice it, your wife, etc. and things will only get better from there.

Good luck

 

[csmitting]

I suck at sports, and weed makes me feel like shit (mentally). But good suggestions anyway.

Oh FFS. That’s your problem right there. You have an excuse to fail everything.

Everyone sucks at sports, but whatever dude. You do you. I’ve known several men who were happiest being miserable, that might just be you. Best of luck.

 

[Adam_hadam]

I have no friends, literally none. ...

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

Get yourself a dog, you will have a friend for life.

 

[KittyCaterina]

Oh FFS. That’s your problem right there. You have an excuse to fail everything.

Everyone sucks at sports, but whatever dude. You do you. I’ve known several men who were happiest being miserable, that might just be you. Best of luck.

Exactly.

Every suggestion given to him, he immediately shuts down.

If this isn't just a troll thread, which I am beginning to think it is, no advice, suggestions or responses are going to help this person.

He said he would rather change his circumstances than himself.

I have a feeling that even if his circumstances change, he leaves his wife and children, he will be shocked to find that he is still unhappy.

 

[descartes]

Fishing aint a sport!

About therapy. I don't live in Canada and healthcare isn't free here. I would rather save my pennies so I can change my environment as soon as possible. I hate working, I don't much like my family and hate everything else about my situation. So changing my situation seems like a better plan than changing myself.

Bro, I think this post says it all.

The only thing you can control is yourself. None of us are truly in control of any situation that involves other human beings (wives, kids, coworkers). We'd like to think we are, but we're not.

The goal posts change all the time. If you pull yourself out of your current situation into a "better" one, what's to prevent the "same" you from feeling this way again?

You've got to be comfortable in your own skin first. Easier said than done for many. The good news is you are in absolute control of yourself and how you perceive things. Love yourself first and external circumstances seem less shitty. The world needs to accept you for who you are and that includes your wife and kids... and yourself! Regret is wasted calories in my opinion.

Ps. I can't comment on being married or having kids, but I hear they're real motherfuckers.

PPS. When I turned 30, I wished I was 20, when I turned 40, I wished I was 30. In 10 years I'll be looking back and saying, damn those were the days!

 

[Combat Shock]

Do what you've never done before and take control of your life or continue to make excuses and be miserable.

Go do blood work and check your testosterone levels, they've probably always been low.

 

[mmouse]

As Pearl Jam said, I'm still alive.

Since last posting, I took to heart the advice above about taking control of my life. I used a significant portion of my life savings to buy a sail boat. The idea was I would spend a few months doing it up and sail back to Canada, and later around the world. I am not expert but I've had a fair amount of sailing experience.

It was around 7 days to bring the boat back to the country I live from where I bought it. I was single handed with a non-functioning depth sounder. I ran onto some rocks in a badly charted area at high tide at night. Boat was totally stuck and after sitting there for a couple of weeks was totally destroyed. No insurance, total loss.

Well at least I want injured. Just pride and a few months salary lost. I went home to my uncaring wife. To keep fit and sane I took up cycling. Built up my stamina over a couple of months and was feeling good. After a long ride I suddenly got a sharp pain in my left knee. Waited a few weeks and it didn't get better. Turned out to be a torn meniscus. Had a an operation to repair. That was 3 months ago and it's no better. Can't cycle anymore, just wondering if I'm going to be a cripple for life.

Talked to wife about general situation, eg is this the kind of marriage she wants to live in for the rest of her life. It has had no noticeable effect.

Lately got on tinder and met a couple of divorcee women. It went well but for various reasons not beyond friendship.

As I see it I have 3 options:
1. Do nothing, grin and bear it until I die
2. End it now (but I have no interest in doing that)
3. Some other option I don't know about. Thinking about one of the triple crown trails if my injury heals.

Any other suggestions for #3?

 

[Y_Diner]

Try to stay positive and look at any good aspects you have in life. Try walking for an hour each day,
eat healthier if you are not, mediate.

 

[mmouse]

Thanks, I usually skip lunch and have almost completely eliminated meat. Walking is a good idea. Better than sitting around after dinner watching Netflix. Meditation I need to try, not really sure how to do it.

 

[MarcoHardOnFire]

Multiple options:
1.) Wait until the kids are grown and moved out, then dump your wife (not sure how divorce settlements work in your country) and live out you golden years doing what you want.
2.) Give your wife an ultimatum; Bend over and take my cock or get out and take the kids with you.
3.) Tell your wife how it’s going to be; This is now an open marriage, I’m going back to doing what I liked to do as a career before I married you. If you don’t like it welcome to single motherhood.

It all comes down to you deciding what you want and what you’re willing to sacrifice to get it. If you want to make yourself happy, then you will have to be prepared to risk changing your relationship with your kids and taking the financial hit of a divorce (option 2 and potentially option 3). Don’t discount the potential upside of getting out of the marriage; if you are happier and have demonstrated the balls to take this action, your kids might just start to respect you. Who knows, maybe your wife will even start to see you differently and want to fuck you again. The key is that you have to make the decision and then grind through with it.

The final option is status quo, if you are unwilling to risk losing your kids or take the financial hit from a divorce.

 

[NotADcotor]

Meditation gives a bullhorn to the thoughts I try to quiet through television. --- Riki Lindhome IIRC but she probably stole it from somewhere else.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Multiple options:
1.) Wait until the kids are grown and moved out, then dump your wife (not sure how divorce settlements work in your country) and live out you golden years doing what you want.
2.) Give your wife an ultimatum; Bend over and take my cock or get out and take the kids with you.
3.) Tell your wife how it’s going to be; This is now an open marriage, I’m going back to doing what I liked to do as a career before I married you. If you don’t like it welcome to single motherhood.

It all comes down to you deciding what you want and what you’re willing to sacrifice to get it. If you want to make yourself happy, then you will have to be prepared to risk changing your relationship with your kids and taking the financial hit of a divorce (option 2 and potentially option 3). Don’t discount the potential upside of getting out of the marriage; if you are happier and have demonstrated the balls to take this action, your kids might just start to respect you. Who knows, maybe your wife will even start to see you differently and want to fuck you again. The key is that you have to make the decision and then grind through with it.

The final option is status quo, if you are unwilling to risk losing your kids or take the financial hit from a divorce.

 

[shack]

I have no friends, literally none. That's why I'm posting here when I don't even live in Toronto anymore. I work from home and my only hobbies are hiking. I'm shy and awkward and slow to make friends. Maybe autistic.

Some people say stuff like, "'I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do, I can't imagine my life doing something else". Well I'm doing something else. When I was young I had a path to follow and talents in that area. But I met a girl, now my wife, who saw no value in that path. So I got a regular career. I'm ok at my my job but my soft skills won't allow me to advance, and I've really tried. Now I'm working with guys 20-30 years younger than me.

I have kids, but I'm not happy with how they are turning out. They don't respect me and don't follow my advice. To be honest I don't blame them, I'm no role model. I don't know how to be good father.

My wife is cold after we had kids. I cannot imagine growing old with her. But being alone is even worse.

I have no family in this country. My parents are very old. They are probably the only people in this world who care for me.

Lastly, I'm hitting 50 and it's getting late change trains. I don't like the idea of abandoning my kids and creating a single mother family. I don't have much money. Sex drive is decreasing.

So please confirm, am I a lost cause?

As Pearl Jam said, I'm still alive.

Since last posting, I took to heart the advice above about taking control of my life. I used a significant portion of my life savings to buy a sail boat. The idea was I would spend a few months doing it up and sail back to Canada, and later around the world. I am not expert but I've had a fair amount of sailing experience.

It was around 7 days to bring the boat back to the country I live from where I bought it. I was single handed with a non-functioning depth sounder. I ran onto some rocks in a badly charted area at high tide at night. Boat was totally stuck and after sitting there for a couple of weeks was totally destroyed. No insurance, total loss.

Well at least I want injured. Just pride and a few months salary lost. I went home to my uncaring wife. To keep fit and sane I took up cycling. Built up my stamina over a couple of months and was feeling good. After a long ride I suddenly got a sharp pain in my left knee. Waited a few weeks and it didn't get better. Turned out to be a torn meniscus. Had a an operation to repair. That was 3 months ago and it's no better. Can't cycle anymore, just wondering if I'm going to be a cripple for life.

Talked to wife about general situation, eg is this the kind of marriage she wants to live in for the rest of her life. It has had no noticeable effect.

Lately got on tinder and met a couple of divorcee women. It went well but for various reasons not beyond friendship.

As I see it I have 3 options:
1. Do nothing, grin and bear it until I die
2. End it now (but I have no interest in doing that)
3. Some other option I don't know about. Thinking about one of the triple crown trails if my injury heals.

Any other suggestions for #3?

This all sounds like TOO much bad luck for 1 person and each problem seems to not have any possible solution. Sorry, but I'm a little suspicious.

Isn't torn meniscus a fairly routine surgery? Why didn't it work? What did the surgeon say about why it didn't work. Did you ask him if you'll be a cripple for life? Why can't the surgery be redone? A better doctor? A meniscus or knee replacement?

 

[xix]

As Pearl Jam said, I'm still alive.

Since last posting, I took to heart the advice above about taking control of my life. I used a significant portion of my life savings to buy a sail boat. The idea was I would spend a few months doing it up and sail back to Canada, and later around the world. I am not expert but I've had a fair amount of sailing experience.

It was around 7 days to bring the boat back to the country I live from where I bought it. I was single handed with a non-functioning depth sounder. I ran onto some rocks in a badly charted area at high tide at night. Boat was totally stuck and after sitting there for a couple of weeks was totally destroyed. No insurance, total loss.

Lately got on tinder and met a couple of divorcee women. It went well but for various reasons not beyond friendship.

As I see it I have 3 options:
1. Do nothing, grin and bear it until I die
2. End it now (but I have no interest in doing that)
3. Some other option I don't know about. Thinking about one of the triple crown trails if my injury heals.

Any other suggestions for #3?

I ran onto some rocks in a badly charted area at high tide at night. Boat was totally stuck and after sitting there for a couple of weeks was totally destroyed.

What part of the ocean is not chartered? and you decided to travel at night in this area Batman?

This all sounds like TOO much bad luck for 1 person and each problem seems to not have any possible solution. Sorry, but I'm a little suspicious.

Isn't torn meniscus a fairly routine surgery? Why didn't it work? What did the surgeon say about why it didn't work. Did you ask him if you'll be a cripple for life? Why can't the surgery be redone? A better doctor? A meniscus or knee replacement?

I agree.
so which country are you from and your wife?
And what did you want to do with work life that your wife stopped you from doing at the beginning?

 

[Uncharted]

Yep. Your fucked.

Life is over for you, and will just continue to suck for the rest of your life.

Know why?.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your fucking attitude.
You have received some of the best suggestions around on this little thread of doom and gloom you have created, and your response to everything is how none of it will help before even trying.
You seem quite determined for your life to be as bad as it can possibly be, so of course it will be.

The problem is your attitude not your life circumstances. When and if you are serious about turning things around, or if indeed anything you are saying is serious, then re-read this thread and actually try the things suggested.
Otherwise, stop baiting people to help when you've already decided not to take any.

 

[John_Jacob]

Exactly.

Every suggestion given to him, he immediately shuts down.

If this isn't just a troll thread, which I am beginning to think it is, no advice, suggestions or responses are going to help this person.

He said he would rather change his circumstances than himself.

I have a feeling that even if his circumstances change, he leaves his wife and children, he will be shocked to find that he is still unhappy.

I suspect this thread is somehow a kink or a turn-on for him.

 

[richaceg]

 

[bummy41]

Go to the gym.

 

[escortsxxx]

I suspect this thread is somehow a kink or a turn-on for him.

I have for my services Add a reason to Life coachella this mess. However as said earlier you should have taken some people's advice by now or its just venting.

The boat thing was a really bad idea. Renting Best if you wanna try it. Insurance Next option. You're may love sailboating.

90% of doctors are incompetent in Things that they don't know. I have spent time parroting my specialist Correcting other doctors. I don't know anything but I trust expert. For your injury the best place to go in Canada is Tatum clinic Which both the maple leafs and Raptors use or did use. Find whom the professional highlights are using your area.


It does sound like you made some major improvements. Good for you.





From the computer

You're not a lost cause, and it's important to remember that many people face challenges and feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction at various points in their lives. Here are some pieces of advice that may help:

1. Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support for your emotional well-being and help you work through your challenges.
2. Communicate with your wife: It's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your spouse about your feelings and concerns. Marriage counseling might be a good option to improve your relationship.
3. Connect with others: Despite being shy and awkward, try to gradually expand your social circle. Join local hiking groups, participate in hobby-related events, or even consider online communities to meet people who share your interests.
4. Work on your soft skills: Developing better communication and interpersonal skills can help in your career and personal life. There are courses and resources available to improve these skills.
5. Be patient with your children: Parenting can be challenging, but it's never too late to improve your relationship with your kids. Spend quality time with them and work on building trust and respect.
6. Focus on self-improvement: At 50, you can still make positive changes in your life. Consider pursuing new hobbies, taking care of your physical and mental health, and setting personal goals.
7. Lean on your parents: Your elderly parents care for you, and they can provide emotional support and guidance during tough times.

Remember that change takes time, and it's okay to seek help and make small steps towards improving your life. You're not a lost cause, and there's hope for a brighter future.

 

[bggolfingmaniac]

Shawshank said it best...

Get busy living, or get busy dying. Your choice.