Inexperience.

[Cloudcuculander]

Don't know if this is the right place to post this, but man am feeling dejected.

I'm real inexperienced, been trying to get practice but ...everytime I've visited an SP I haven't been able to cum.
Sometimes they cum, sometimes they don't. Don't really have the experience to contribute to the former.

Anyone else had similar experiences?
Or am I the odd one out here.

 

[Mr Deeds]

Don't know if this is the right place to post this, but man am feeling dejected.

I'm real inexperienced, been trying to get practice but ...everytime I've visited an SP I haven't been able to cum.
Sometimes they cum, sometimes they don't. Don't really have the experience to contribute to the former.

Anyone else had similar experiences?
Or am I the odd one out here.

No it's just you
Just kidding everyone gets nervous and it manifests itself in different ways. I'm going to suggest that you keep seeing the same service provider a few times so that you become comfortable with her. Once you become comfortable with her you're probably not going to have an issue with that

 

[Sonic Temple]

Like anything in life - practice makes perfect. It may get expensive for you but that's the drawback. Not sure who you have seen, but many great SPs here that will make you relax and comfortable.

 

[DesRicardo]

You haven't found your kink yet. Find an open provider and do what feels natural. Also, give your "member" a "week off" to build back strength.

Sometimes they cum,

Don't flatter yourself now.

 

[The Options Menu]

I know this is easier said than done, but try to get out of your head. Often fixating on your erection, or cumming, is the surest way to lose an erection or to not cum. I'd suggest a provider who is noted as a particularly friendly GFE. Someone to calm your nerves and take your mind off the performative aspect of things. If you find a provider you can stay engaged with you're less likely to fixate on trying to cum.

 

[interferon]

The cumming is just part of the experience...soemtimes it's even a disappointment because it means that things come to a stop then. Enjoy the play, the feels, the smells, the intimacey, her beautiful body. The rest will take care of itself when the time is right. The goal is to have a great hour or whatever,not just those few seconds of spurting.

 

[xmontrealer]

EDIT

Also, give your "member" a "week off" to build back strength.

This.

Don't cum for 3 or 4 days before, or even more, by any method.

Let your nut pressure build.

Book an hour or so, to relieve the time pressure on you, and to allow for a second shot, if the first one happens too soon...

 

[opieshuffle]

honestly... best experience I've ever had in my life was a 6-hour makeout session and grinding that led to blue balls and sweaty bodies. No finish... but that night lives in my "bank" as one of the hottest ever! Like others have said, live in the moment. Enjoy the experience. Go slow. Find a patient provider (read the reviews on ladies who like to have an experience with you) Don't just show up for a nut and go. The making out and touching will get you most of the way there if you're INTO it. Key is you gotta be INTO it!

Breathe buddy... relax and just enjoy the ride

 

[OntGuy2010]

Just to add one small item to the excellent advice you have already received: seeing a provider is a "time-limited transaction", especially at agencies where the volume is much higher. Good bookers and/or ladies can certainly help to "mask" a significant portion of this, but this basic fact remains! I am saying this not at all to discourage - what I'm trying to say that it does take some time to get used to, to be able to "navigate" better, etc.
I was in the EXACT same boat as you when I started, and now working my way up to 2 rounds in 1 hour (getting there ). Just keep trying, take your notes, learn your lessons, notice things that did and did not work, and no doubt you will improve over time!

 

[LTO_3]

Relax, just have fun, enjoy the moment with the SP and stop thinking about getting off. That will happen when you stop thinking about it. Better yet, find a female friend who can lend a helping hand and then she'll help you to another pop another way too.

LTO_3

 

[The Options Menu]

I was in the EXACT same boat as you when I started, and now working my way up to 2 rounds in 1 hour (getting there ).

We both like to talk. You even more than me, I think. One thing that helps me if I'm going for 2 SOG is to cut back on the pre game conversation (within reason and comfort). I knock the first shot out, and then to do my talking during the the refractory period. Then I go for the second shot (with mixed results).

That's one optimization I figured out early on if I though I wanted to try 2 SOG. For me it often works out to about the same amount of talking. I'm just doing it when my dick is out of the game.

I'm increasing a 1 shot guy, but I usually know within a few minutes of meeting a provider if 2 SOG is something I'd like to try. It's one part how a provider comes across, and one part what my dick is telling me, lol. So moving the conversation to the refractory period makes sense for me.

 

[Jenesis]

Meet with an SP for a bbbj edging session and try not to cum. Make sure she is an edging expert who can go for a long time.

The change in mindset could make the difference in that area.

 

[Mandalorian]

Personally I find it’s 90% mental. When I find that one provider who’s got the looks I like combined with the slutty attitude who can dirty talk….oh mama!

 

[newguy20]

Don't know if this is the right place to post this, but man am feeling dejected.

I'm real inexperienced, been trying to get practice but ...everytime I've visited an SP I haven't been able to cum.
Sometimes they cum, sometimes they don't. Don't really have the experience to contribute to the former.

Anyone else had similar experiences?
Or am I the odd one out here.

I have to ask.
How old are you and exactly how inexperienced?

As someone else noted, you're probably in your head about something.
Maybe you're worried she doesn't find you attractive. Don't worry, she doesn't care what you look like.
Maybe you're feeling guilty about doing this. Don't worry, Mom and Dad will still be proud of you.
Maybe you're feeling emasculated because you're paying for it. Don't worry, there's always a price.

As someone else said, maybe see the same girl a few times.
She'll get to know your buttons and you'll feel more comfortable with her.

 

[OntGuy2010]

We both like to talk. You even more than me, I think. One thing that helps me if I'm going for 2 SOG is to cut back on the pre game conversation (within reason and comfort). I knock the first shot out, and then to do my talking during the the refractory period. Then I go for the second shot (with mixed results).

That's one optimization I figured out early on if I though I wanted to try 2 SOG. For me it often works out to about the same amount of talking. I'm just doing it when my dick is out of the game.

I'm increasing a 1 shot guy, but I usually know within a few minutes of meeting a provider if 2 SOG is something I'd like to try. It's one part how a provider comes across, and one part what my dick is telling me, lol. So moving the conversation to the refractory period makes sense for me.

Almost EXACTLY the same is shaping up for me! This is what I started to at least try and follow, but so much depends on so many factors that can never be predicted in advance, even if repeating as I recently found out! The best sessions of course are the ones when the second shot actually happens, and if not then those when the second round was very good no matter what the result is, because the bottom line is that this is a sexual date, and not a social date!

 

[Cloudcuculander]

I have to ask.
How old are you and exactly how inexperienced?

As someone else noted, you're probably in your head about something.
Maybe you're worried she doesn't find you attractive. Don't worry, she doesn't care what you look like.
Maybe you're feeling guilty about doing this. Don't worry, Mom and Dad will still be proud of you.
Maybe you're feeling emasculated because you're paying for it. Don't worry, there's always a price.

As someone else said, maybe see the same girl a few times.
She'll get to know your buttons and you'll feel more comfortable with her.

28, and still learning what exactly to do.
Being told "Can't you cum?" And "can't you do foreplay" was quite the blow.

 

[LTO_3]

28, and still learning what exactly to do.
Being told "Can't you cum?" And "can't you do foreplay" was quite the blow.

As a teaching tool watch girl/girl porn, the "story oriented" stuff is usually a bit softer than the wham bam type. Or if you have any openminded lady friends, may also be a great way to learn since they can tell you the do's and don'ts. Other than that just keep practising but not with anyone from LL, use well reviewed agency SPs.

If the SPs say "Can't you cum" just tell them the more you say it the longer it takes me OR tell them at the beginning "I'm a bit nervous so cumming might be difficult. Any help would be appreciated"....or something like that.

LTO_3

 

[The Options Menu]

28, and still learning what exactly to do.
Being told "Can't you cum?" And "can't you do foreplay" was quite the blow.

I'm assuming you're not trolling.

@LTO_3 's advice is good. You should find a woman to explore with, not an escort to pound at while fixated on cumming. Escorts are not particularly good practice for civilian foreplay, though being decent at civilian foreplay and sex can make you better with escorts (as you'll have a better understanding of what actually tends to get women going, and be better able to read sexual cues).

It sounds like you're going from zero to pound town, while fixating on cumming. Some escorts are OK with a fast start, but even many of those escorts would prefer to ease into things a bit. It's not surprising you're not cumming if the providers you're with are going to their "happy place", or are otherwise on their back foot.

If you're going to try again with escorts here's what I suggest: Get the basics right. Then you're going to talk to the escort until you have a sense of each other's vibe. (That doesn't need to be a super long conversation.) You're also going to mention your inexperience. At that point you're going to try some kissing and gentle caressing, along with SLOWLY removing her undergarments.

Then you're straight up going to ask her to show you what her (individual) clitoris likes, and to tell you how to do it. You're only allowed to use your fingers and mouth. You are not allowed to put your dick in any of her holes until she both gets significantly naturally wet, AND you get her seal of approval for figuring things out.

Then try to stay focused on the mutual experience that follows, not you cumming.

 

[reaper29]

Maybe try booking an SP for like a 3 or 4hr session, where you can hang out and light play before you get down to business.

If you're watching porn...stop. Same with jerking off .so thay you let the pressure build up. Best to also find an sp who will not put pressure on you to cum on demand.

 

[newguy20]

28, and still learning what exactly to do.
Being told "Can't you cum?" And "can't you do foreplay" was quite the blow.

Good advice from both LTO_3 and TOM.
The kind of experience you need is best found in high school, where you're both a little unsure of what you want and learning as you go.
You're well beyond that but it would still be best if you could gain some experience outside of this world.
Failing that, I'd suggest finding a well-reviewed lady who is known or recommended for first timers or inexperienced guys.
As guys have already mentioned, ditch the porn, reduce the masturbation and don't make your orgasm the focus of your interaction.
Focus on the lady. Ask her what she likes. Watch her reaction to what you're doing. Try to read her body and increase her pleasure.
Not with an assembly line LL girl. With a civie or well reviewed lady who's willing to take that journey with you.

Good Luck.