Just make sure you have bad jazz music playing. Or maybe order a pizza. Or get a lady to fix your dryer and maybe she'll get stuck in it. Or see if a step mom or step sister can do it....
"Bad fuckin attitude Mister! Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and start over! "Oh sorry. That was me talking to me. I'll get to that spot over by the window. I will read all those books some day.
Ever see that James Bond movie where moneypenny shows up at Bonds apt and it looks like he just moved in. Virtually no furniture - a couch and a TV. Shes like "Did you just move in?" and he says "No."
Do that. Get rid of all your stuff - so theres nothing except a couch, fridge and TV...and presto super easy to clean.
Also then if you invite women over you can be like "oh yeah Im a secret agent"
I think ppl are so desperate for work these days that if you did a kijiji ad asking for a cleaner youd find a bunch and some might be hot. Or Craigslist. Do people still use Craigslist?
I only say this because my other half was put in charge of hiring a receptionist for the place she works and they did an ad and holy cow the amount of people with degrees, nurses, business grads that sent in their resumes... so many over qualified people... in the end she was told to only keep resumes from people who did not have degrees and who lived close to the clinic.... just saying theres tons of people out there desperate for work...