How To Show Interest Without Being CREEPY

[Robert Mugabe]

Facetious answer: They can make up to $1,000's a day doing it. They get over it real quick. The money becomes an addiction and having sex is like walking the dog in the park. It's just part of the Daily Activities of Life. It's like making coffee. For the Johns that visit them, they're oh so living out their fantasies but for the sex worker, it's like toasting bread. I've had numerous convo's with sex workers who have this attitude.

Actually, you're right for the most part. But I know one at least who doesn't really enjoy it like you portray. I am sure there are lots of others who aren't making $1,000's a day who don't much like it either.

 

[jalimon]

One tip: Make a women laugh and feel good about herself. That's the whole things, guys. Yes, it's a numbers game. You won't hit a home run every time. Work on your social skills. Observe how interesting people talk. I have known PLENTY of guys who are NOT GQ cover material and who may even be considered physically 'ugly' but they have so much game, they get women regularly and don't need sex workers.

I agree. Yet as you write you won't hit a home run every time. And what happens when you don't hit a home run? You look creepy or annoying haha

My best advice is to accept that you will often be annoying and creepy and, rightfully so, rejected. Don't make a big deal out of it. In my dating year, my ratio of rejection was sky-high. I didn't care. I was still fucking like a rabbit. Some of these times I was not hitting a home run but what the heck sometimes getting to first base is all you need.

 

[GuySmiley]

I agree. Yet as you write you won't hit a home run every time. And what happens when you don't hit a home run? You look creepy or annoying haha

My best advice is to accept that you will often be annoying and creepy and, rightfully so, rejected. Don't make a big deal out of it. In my dating year, my ratio of rejection was sky-high. I didn't care. I was still fucking like a rabbit. Some of these times I was not hitting a home run but what the heck sometimes getting to first base is all you need.

I would disagree in that I don't think anyone, by default, comes off as creepy when rejected. Take rejection in stride. Their loss, move on.

Here's a great, great aphorism (look it up) that I heard on a Simon Sinek interview: Don't invest in People You Like. Invest in People that Invest in You. Same thing applies to dating. In fact, it absolutely applies to dating.

 

[Massivo]

I agree. Yet as you write you won't hit a home run every time. And what happens when you don't hit a home run? You look creepy or annoying haha

My best advice is to accept that you will often be annoying and creepy and, rightfully so, rejected. Don't make a big deal out of it. In my dating year, my ratio of rejection was sky-high. I didn't care. I was still fucking like a rabbit. Some of these timesI was not hitting a home run but what the heck sometimes getting to first base is all you need.

Amen.

The biggest challenge in picking up women is fear of rejection. The first few times it feels like a slap across the face or worse. After about a dozen times, like a pat on the back lol...

I often think that the goal of someone trying to learn the skills needed to be successful with women is...not home runs, but actual rejection... There is way less pressure when thinking about it that way.

 

[dchoye]

I learned that some girls that give me the soft rejection at first that cames with an excuse. Like I’m busy with other stuff this weekend. But the next time you meet again they want to be picked up.
Girls never say yes to pickup. They say maybe ( which means yes interested). Or soft/firm no. A soft passive no can mean not at this time but I’ll reconsider if you try again another time
A firm no or silence means totally not interested
Try to get over shyness Charming is a learn art.
Part of learning is to accept rejection going to happen sometimes no matter how hard I try

 

[Mandala]

Amen.

The biggest challenge in picking up women is fear of rejection. The first few times it feels like a slap across the face or worse. After about a dozen times, like a pat on the back lol...

I often think that the goal of someone trying to learn the skills needed to be successful with women is...not home runs, but actual rejection... There is way less pressure when thinking about it that way.

Zoot Allures seems to have a solution for rejection and that is do not get rejected by looking for signals
of interest

"A lot of women are leary of guys coming on to them esp if they are babes, that is understandable.
If I am interested in her I watch for her to signal interest in me. If I do not receive any signals I do not pursue beyond simple friendship."

Does she touch you? Lean forward? Does her interest seem more than casual? Laugh at your bad jokes?
Gaze into your eyes? Smile a lot? Now that I think about it, your job is to give the female the chance to signal her interest. In that sense she makes the first move. That is how it should be.

 

[IM469]

One tip: Make a women laugh and feel good about herself. That's the whole things, guys. Yes, it's a numbers game. You won't hit a home run every time. Work on your social skills. Observe how interesting people talk. I have known PLENTY of guys who are NOT GQ cover material and who may even be considered physically 'ugly' but they have so much game, they get women regularly and don't need sex workers.
For the record, I'm not shitting on sex workers but if your entire exposure to females is via sex workers, trust me, you have a major, major problem.

I only would agree with this statement if your intent is to find a real relationship. If you have zero intent on a long term relationship, sex workers provide a relatively safe outlet for sexual encounters without any emotional entanglements. Your friends who get plenty of women - all these women don't mind being a notch on the bedpost without any emotional commitment ? I actually enjoy female sex workers to avoid a major problem. I have no problem meeting any female (or male) - my perspective is that everyone is a person - don't overthink it.

My other problem is that everyone should experience sex - it is the best gift of life. If fate has made this a little more difficult than others, don't let others try and belittle you for enjoying it through escorts. I'm suggesting that maybe a little of the mystic will disappear and sex as part of friendship (eg: without the escort) could become easier to find.

 

[tier3]

You WILL come off as creepy if she doesn't like you. You should only approach her if she wants you to approach her.

The trick is in making her want you to approach her.

An oversimplification is that you need to look like the best option in the room for her to start giving you "come get me" looks.

At that point simply walking over to her shows her you're interested.

 

[GuySmiley]

I only would agree with this statement if your intent is to find a real relationship. If you have zero intent on a long term relationship, sex workers provide a relatively safe outlet for sexual encounters without any emotional entanglements. Your friends who get plenty of women - all these women don't mind being a notch on the bedpost without any emotional commitment ? I actually enjoy female sex workers to avoid a major problem. I have no problem meeting any female (or male) - my perspective is that everyone is a person - don't overthink it.

My other problem is that everyone should experience sex - it is the best gift of life. If fate has made this a little more difficult than others, don't let others try and belittle you for enjoying it through escorts. I'm suggesting that maybe a little of the mystic will disappear and sex as part of friendship (eg: without the escort) could become easier to find.

My friends (those who are not male models) that get plenty of women doesn't necessarily imply serial dating or a string of shallow relationships. Why would you assume that? One is a serial monogamist and always in a committed relationship. The point I was making is that he isn't handsome or well-built or good-looking (at least by your clichéd or stereotypical standards) but he's utterly charming, hilarious, knows how to talk to women, etc.

And I would think the intent of the above is obvious - it's clearly intended to direct someone in the pursuit of a real relationship to not come off as creepy.

Obviously, if you just want sex with no emotional investment, go see a sex worker. But this thread was about NOT being creepy. Do you think a sex worker gives a shit if you come off as creepy? They don't discriminate beyond the fact that they see clients that are respectful and pay them. That's it. You can look creepy, breathe creepy, talk creepy, dress creepy. If you've ever talked to a sex worker, they can 1000% tell you stories about creepy clients. Ultimatley, just pay and stay within certain boundaries. You should always, always have a discussion as to what those boundaries should be before booking.

What major problem are you avoiding by seeing sex workers? Not being in a relationship? If that's the goal, Congratulations. But I trust I wouldn't be the first to tell you that women come with lovely attributes AND real problems. Just like everyone else in life.

And I stand behind what I said. If your entire experience with sex is via sex work, you're not a mentally healthy human being. Sorry for being judgemental but it's the truth.