How to get fired

[fuji]

Severence is 1 week for every year, up to a maximum of 11 weeks.

Those are the minimums set out in the act. There are much higher severance payments available under common law, but they are variable and depend very much on your circumstnaces.

 

[GotGusto]

Have sex with the boss's wife.

The only downside is the possibility of you getting shot to death.

 

[MissCroft]

My technique is worth gold, you should be paying me for just postng this... I did this a year ago...
1. find a shrink (psychiatrist) and say you are depressed, having thoughts of violence, suicide, etc... do something if you have to like attempted suicide. (I did not, but I will not tell you what I did)
2. ask shrink to give you sick note for 2 weeks, then go back to office for 1 week or so, then go back to shrink say you cannot take the work sress, thoughts of depression coming back. need more time off, this time a month... you get the idea. you should get paid from STD or LTD insurance while you are sick. If you are good at this and can get up to 2 years worth of pay from LTD without having to work a single day. I only got 1.5 months.
3. Do not go partying during your sick days. keep this cycle for like 3 months, the company will get sick of you and offer your package to leave. Find a lawyer to represent you and squeeze the most out of the company especially now getting fired will might make your "condition" even worse, get doctor's letter with it. if you are working for a big company, they will not want to look bad, will probably give you a sweet deal.
I got 8 month package from a company I worked for 5 years using this technique...
please don't hate me for this..

Sorry but I just have no respect for someone who would go to a pyschiatrist and feign depression for such a reason. Too many people either fake or at least exaggerate disorders like depression or anxiety (or believe they do have them but they don't - but that's a different topic) that people who really do seriously suffer from such illnesses are not always taken seriously and/or don't get the proper treatment. And to fake thoughts of suicide or pretend to attempt suicide? Not cool in my opinion. Am I alone here?

 

[HetroGuy]

You might be going about this the wrong way. Instead of reading articles about successful pogy payouts - read about the grounds that you can go back and sue for wrongful termination. I'm sure you can get fired with your attitude but if you apply a little resourcefulness - you might get your wish and a significant bonus at the end of it. I don't know how but a buddy of mine did it twice in 6 years.

 

[Hard Idle]

Do not let them fire you for causes or misconduct. You get no severance for that.

Yeah, leaving a file folder stuffed with feces on the cheap pricks's desk would probably constitute misconduct, although it might be more satisfying than the severence pay....

How about repeatedly accessing SP agency websites from company computers and using the work e-mail to book appointments?

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

How about repeatedly accessing SP agency websites from company computers and using the work e-mail to book appointments?

Why stop at half measures? Get outcalls delivered to the boss' office. If he's not there, go for it. If he's there, ask him if you can watch.

 

[girorok66]

If you have other opportunities to pursuit then just move on...

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Try doing this in the lunch room.
http://m90.org/video/58308/Sexy_Babe_Turns_Around_To_Show_You_Her_Fine_Ass_And_Lets_A_Huge_Fart_Rip/

Of course your ass cheeks are wrinkled and you have hair growing out of your anus, so it should work that much better at getting you canned.

 

[out4fun]

Why don't you just be a man and leave your job for the new opportunity. Don't be such a pussy. Your employer doesn't owe you anything if you decide to move on, nor should he. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

My technique is worth gold, you should be paying me for just postng this... I did this a year ago...
1. find a shrink (psychiatrist) and say you are depressed, having thoughts of violence, suicide, etc... do something if you have to like attempted suicide. (I did not, but I will not tell you what I did)
2. ask shrink to give you sick note for 2 weeks, then go back to office for 1 week or so, then go back to shrink say you cannot take the work sress, thoughts of depression coming back. need more time off, this time a month... you get the idea. you should get paid from STD or LTD insurance while you are sick. If you are good at this and can get up to 2 years worth of pay from LTD without having to work a single day. I only got 1.5 months.
3. Do not go partying during your sick days. keep this cycle for like 3 months, the company will get sick of you and offer your package to leave. Find a lawyer to represent you and squeeze the most out of the company especially now getting fired will might make your "condition" even worse, get doctor's letter with it. if you are working for a big company, they will not want to look bad, will probably give you a sweet deal.
I got 8 month package from a company I worked for 5 years using this technique...
please don't hate me for this..