Probably happens more than you think. I mean if I was a successful female lawyer what I'd look for in a man would be different that if I was an entry level desk clerk.
How many of you GAVE UP on dating figuring your just too undesirable to women?
- Thread starter Partyman1970
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I have no idea how it works. But there is an increase in men shorter than their wives. There is also an increase in men earning less than their wives (up to 20% from 4%), though this could be temporary due to the mancession than permanent.
Overall... theres a lot of conflicting data.
Evilbaga: so you are short & men bully you & thus get in the way of women showing interest??? Frankcastle I checked dialy new profiles & over 3 years sent about 3000 messages. No dates. I know about the ioi's & that is very true. get out there, get exposure, be conscious of the ioi's & act on them if you have interest in the girl too. Have some guts. JUST SAYING: there is a class of guys like me that get no ioi's .... well maybe 1x in 15 years.
I've dated female lawyers and HR professionals (one who actually told me that people perceive her as a bitch, but she was too nice to me and the chemistry wasn't all that great). I love bitches, just the hot ones with possible lesbo tendencies because even other women find them hot. And I would make love to them until their bitchiness and lesbo tendencies melt away! Nice girls finish last...and are less of a challenge. LOL
Maybe it was the way you wrote your profile or what you said or the type of girl you were writing e-mails to.
Sure I threw out messages to hotties but the ones that I dated were usually due to common interests and what not.
This is what men who get success with women dont get. They go by their experience so its inconceivable that some people are screwed no matter what they do.
The only real question is who falls into what camp.
still a firm believer that any guy can get a date. lack of success in the past is not a guarantee for 100% failure in the future.
also whatever a persons chanes of success are the percentage can ne improved.
20% of men are undateable is too high. there arent that many 40 yr old virgins.
Depends on how you calculate the 20%. Does someone who tries and gets a date every 2 years considered 'successful'? Someone who visits escorts considered 'virginal'? Etc etc.
See here for an example:
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/10/13/japans-sex-gap-25-now-middle-aged-virgins/
I wasn't talking about myself. I was talking about people who have tried and failed spectacularly. I would gladly accept your help. In fact I recently changed my diet and started exercising 3 times a week (still rather light, but its a start). But I am extremely shy/afraid/unsure what to do/not sure its worth it/wont budge my standards/etc/etc.
interesting. however does that mean canadian stats are the same.
also how many are incurable virgins?
so if we accept the stat but subtract virgins by choice and guys who need advice the incurable virgin becomes much lower.
Not the point. Im sure in Japan, no one talks about it either.
Bottom line is its biology - women are pickier than men. Men can only provide sperm and resources. When women dont need resources, they get pickier - a percentage sharing a small pool of alphas (however defined), another percentage being celibate and so on. the only question is the numbers involved.
I think 20-30% is reasonable.
Look at this:
Granted, it fits two separate explanations.
1) The woman is cohabiting with a male but not married
~AND/OR~
2) The woman was chasing Alpha cock, and she could get him to f**k her, but he would not commit to her (as other women were after him too etc).
I ask that you consider the second one as a very real partial explanation.
As the sex ratios are more or less even - if lots of girls are only going after alphas, non-alphas have a much more limited pool, with many being involuntarily celibate.
Bears out my observation in life: the guys that are alpha ( esp. in looks as defined by Western mass media) are getting an inordinate amount of the attention. Average Joes's got to put in some effort but it is very doable for them with time & effort. As one guy pointed out there is slews of average Joe's married , with children. Then there is the 20% that for all intents & purposes get no attention. Getting some fugly to show interest 1x in 15 years is NOT even remotely getting on women's raedar screen .
How come most players are good looking then?
What you really mean is confidence is what you notice, but only on good looking guys. You aren't aware of your own subconscious motivations.
Why are popular stars generally good looking? Bon Jovi, George Michael, Brad Pitt, even Justin Bieber - good looking faces for all, and height for most.
Is it a conspiracy? Or just money minded businessmen giving the women populace what they want?
Im not 100% sure, but I err very much on the side of looks.
Edit:
You also dont make the distinction between Long Term Attraction and Short Term Attraction. If looks matter much more for short term attraction, then, in a promiscuous culture with declining long term or life long mates, looks become more and more of a dominant issue.
And finally, you fail to see that even if confidence was a large part of the issue - a lot of confidence is simply from past success. So for those who have no success - the point is moot.
TL;DR: Seriously woman. End it with the one line clichés.
What you really mean is confidence is what you notice, but only on good looking guys. You aren't aware of your own subconscious motivations.
Why are popular stars generally good looking? Bon Jovi, George Michael, Brad Pitt, even Justin Bieber - good looking faces for all, and height for most.
Is it a conspiracy? Or just money minded businessmen giving the women populace what they want?
Im not 100% sure, but I err very much on the side of looks.
Edit:
You also dont make the distinction between Long Term Attraction and Short Term Attraction. If looks matter much more for short term attraction, then, in a promiscuous culture with declining long term or life long mates, looks become more and more of a dominant issue.
And finally, you fail to see that even if confidence was a large part of the issue - a lot of confidence is simply from past success. So for those who have no success - the point is moot.
TL;DR: Seriously woman. End it with the one line clichés.
Aye, but if I were a rich ugly guy... would I even want a gold-digger? Im sure men differ on this.
Yah, bull crap that girls don't go by looks. Just look around. Height first, then looks. Rarely see any really ugly guys or short guys with mates. They are often the 20% undateable. GUYS what kind of comments do you really expect from escorts on here looking for your biz.? Lets keep the thread honest & real.
Well, of course it's to be expected that there are many women who are attracted to good-looking men -- in a similar way that men are attracted to good-looking women. But that does not mean that physically unattractive men or women are undateable ("undateable" is an awfully strong term).
And I have seen many ugly men or short men with girlfriends/wives/SOs in my lifetime.
Nope I argue that this increase in unmarried mothers has more to do with increasing number of dead beat dads as well as increasing divorce rates.Not the point. Im sure in Japan, no one talks about it either.
Bottom line is its biology - women are pickier than men. Men can only provide sperm and resources. When women dont need resources, they get pickier - a percentage sharing a small pool of alphas (however defined), another percentage being celibate and so on. the only question is the numbers involved.
I think 20-30% is reasonable.
Look at this:
Granted, it fits two separate explanations.
1) The woman is cohabiting with a male but not married
~AND/OR~
2) The woman was chasing Alpha cock, and she could get him to f**k her, but he would not commit to her (as other women were after him too etc).
I ask that you consider the second one as a very real partial explanation.
As the sex ratios are more or less even - if lots of girls are only going after alphas, non-alphas have a much more limited pool, with many being involuntarily celibate.
Let's go back to your 25% vigin rate in Japan. That's probably higher than Canada since they have huge familial and social pressure to get into a good high school and then university.
This means going to a second school after school to cram for standardized exams.
This is why they also have a higher suicide rate due to this pressre. Anyways, this means missing out on socialization skills. No surprise that a culture built around education has a higher proportion of virgin nerds.
So let's just say that Canada's virgin rate is 20%. After subtracting those who chose to be virgins for religious or other reasons. And then take away the guys who could get laid if they got a clue about how to dress, talk, groom, diet, treat a woman how many are incurable?
My guess and it's only that is maybe it goes down to 10% and probably even lower as I struggle to think of a guy I know is is not dating or in a relationship. If it was 10% I would know somebody. And my sample even includes some table top roleplayers who btw are married or dating.
Anyways, what difference does it make? If you want to consider yourself undateable I don't think there's anything a guy can say to you to change your mind if you are digging out stats about unmarried mothers. Which btw is probably not a good stat to look at because we are looking at a guys chance to get laid not meet a girl willing to get pregnant by him. Two different things..... when on a date if a girl puts out she is not trying to get pregnant.
Point is that if it comforts you to feel like you are in a larger group I really don't have the energy to try and prove you wrong. So I'm sorry for questioning your data.
But I will say that it's just a defense mechanism to justify your place in life (which i still maintain can be changed).
