This year would be my 10th year hobbying. During this time, I have never even bothered seeing civilians. This hobby has always helped me with my increasingly reclusive lifestyle. By "reclusive," I meant I would minimize any human contact possible without affecting my job performance. For instance, when my colleagues are socializing, I would usually avoid them unless there is anything for me to gain or helps me advance my career.
I miss having genuine friends that I could hang out and gossip with. I miss having some girls that I could fantasize and masturbate over. I miss connecting with real people rather than fucking some strange lady that would stop talking to me once my time is up. I miss interacting with people without knowing it's just a business transaction. The truth is, I am pretty sure I have lost all my ability to connect with people.
I am also estranged from my family, so every time there's a holiday, I feel miserable.
This is probably the last place I want to ask, but what do I do? I really want out of this hobby, but I doubt I could survive without hobbying. My most recent record was 2 weeks without hobbying, and then I binged like crazy afterwards.
What do I do?
I miss having genuine friends that I could hang out and gossip with. I miss having some girls that I could fantasize and masturbate over. I miss connecting with real people rather than fucking some strange lady that would stop talking to me once my time is up. I miss interacting with people without knowing it's just a business transaction. The truth is, I am pretty sure I have lost all my ability to connect with people.
I am also estranged from my family, so every time there's a holiday, I feel miserable.
This is probably the last place I want to ask, but what do I do? I really want out of this hobby, but I doubt I could survive without hobbying. My most recent record was 2 weeks without hobbying, and then I binged like crazy afterwards.
What do I do?

