How Do I Quit This Hobby?

[verboselypithy]

This year would be my 10th year hobbying. During this time, I have never even bothered seeing civilians. This hobby has always helped me with my increasingly reclusive lifestyle. By "reclusive," I meant I would minimize any human contact possible without affecting my job performance. For instance, when my colleagues are socializing, I would usually avoid them unless there is anything for me to gain or helps me advance my career.

I miss having genuine friends that I could hang out and gossip with. I miss having some girls that I could fantasize and masturbate over. I miss connecting with real people rather than fucking some strange lady that would stop talking to me once my time is up. I miss interacting with people without knowing it's just a business transaction. The truth is, I am pretty sure I have lost all my ability to connect with people.

I am also estranged from my family, so every time there's a holiday, I feel miserable.

This is probably the last place I want to ask, but what do I do? I really want out of this hobby, but I doubt I could survive without hobbying. My most recent record was 2 weeks without hobbying, and then I binged like crazy afterwards.

What do I do?

 

[harryass]

slowly start seeing less Sps over the next 6months or less.
1/ week
1 /2 weeks
1/3 weeks
1/4 weeks
etc.
and go socializing after work and weekends more. Yip, easier said then done, I know.

 

[malata]

it can be lonely at the top, but again, some girls can make your life a living hell

 

[shack]

This year would be my 10th year hobbying. During this time, I have never even bothered seeing civilians. This hobby has always helped me with my increasingly reclusive lifestyle. By "reclusive," I meant I would minimize any human contact possible without affecting my job performance. For instance, when my colleagues are socializing, I would usually avoid them unless there is anything for me to gain or helps me advance my career.

I miss having genuine friends that I could hang out and gossip with. I miss having some girls that I could fantasize and masturbate over. I miss connecting with real people rather than fucking some strange lady that would stop talking to me once my time is up. I miss interacting with people without knowing it's just a business transaction. The truth is, I am pretty sure I have lost all my ability to connect with people.

I am also estranged from my family, so every time there's a holiday, I feel miserable.

This is probably the last place I want to ask, but what do I do? I really want out of this hobby, but I doubt I could survive without hobbying. My most recent record was 2 weeks without hobbying, and then I binged like crazy afterwards.

What do I do?

You could try Seeking Arrangement. Civvy girls (for the most part), longer dates (possibly dinner or movie as well as sex) and the majority accept that sex will be involved. It does take some navigating to learn the ropes, but once you do there are tons of girls there. But definitely not as easy as seeing SPs.

 

[studentjohn]

While I haven't officially quit I have really lost the desire to see an sp ever again after getting a little more involved with one ; it completely took the fun out of it and now I'm saving so much money lol

 

[Johnny Utah]

I sometimes wonder if I will become like you in ten years.

One difference is that I don’t feel the addiction. I just do this from time to time.

I imagine I’d you keep busy or stop browsing these sites your desire may dwindle.

 

[NorthernBear]

I tried for three years to quit the hobby but never lasted more than a month or so. I always kept getting dragged back in.
My biggest problem was actually being a member here. Even when I was not partaking in company with the ladies I still kept checking the site out to see what was going on.
Then I would see an intriguing review or advertisement and then I was lured back in.

Finally it happened. Without anywork on my part a change in my life caused my lifestyle to get out of hobbying, so far for close to two years.
I collapsed at work and was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery and it was discovered that I had late stages of cancer.
Since that day I have had five surgeries and have now been diagnosed with having terminal cancer. I will be having chemotherapy sessions for the rest of my life.

The combination of type 1 diabetes with the effects of the cancer and chemo medicine has diminished my blood flow so much that it is no longer possible for me to retain an erection.
My sex drive is still there, just my ability to perform is gone. This has forced me to refrain from seeing providers. I have tried a couple of times but have been unsuccessful.

I may put chemo on hold for a couple of months later this year in order to regain some blood flow and maybe see someone for a birthday treat.
Since I am a terminal case my oncologist tells me that a two month break will not cause any problems.

This is not the way I would wish anyone to be forced out of the hobby, but one positive result is that am closer to my family since I am no longer spending my social time with providers.

But like I said before, if you really want to quit the business for good, stay away from this board to limit your enticement back. Good luck.

 

[james t kirk]

I would suggest that you devote the same energy to finding a real girl friend.

Go on line dating, join a social club, take a course, whatever. You need to wean yourself off of it.

Find a person who cares about you for you and not as a pay day.

The kind of hobbying you are describing is a black hole frankly. If there is one bright spot in it, at least you are aware that you have a problem.

 

[Kirby2006]

I tried for three years to quit the hobby but never lasted more than a month or so. I always kept getting dragged back in.
My biggest problem was actually being a member here. Even when I was not partaking in company with the ladies I still kept checking the site out to see what was going on.
Then I would see an intriguing review or advertisement and then I was lured back in.

Finally it happened. Without anywork on my part a change in my life caused my lifestyle to get out of hobbying, so far for close to two years.
I collapsed at work and was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery and it was discovered that I had late stages of cancer.
Since that day I have had five surgeries and have now been diagnosed with having terminal cancer. I will be having chemotherapy sessions for the rest of my life.

The combination of type 1 diabetes with the effects of the cancer and chemo medicine has diminished my blood flow so much that it is no longer possible for me to retain an erection.
My sex drive is still there, just my ability to perform is gone. This has forced me to refrain from seeing providers. I have tried a couple of times but have been unsuccessful.

I may put chemo on hold for a couple of months later this year in order to regain some blood flow and maybe see someone for a birthday treat.
Since I am a terminal case my oncologist tells me that a two month break will not cause any problems.

This is not the way I would wish anyone to be forced out of the hobby, but one positive result is that am closer to my family since I am no longer spending my social time with providers.

But like I said before, if you really want to quit the business for good, stay away from this board to limit your enticement back. Good luck.

So sorry to hear this NB. Not the way anyone should have to quit.
You sound like a real fighter though. Carry on. Our thoughts are with you.

 

[managee]

I would suggest that you devote the same energy to finding a real girl friend.

Go on line dating, join a social club, take a course, whatever. You need to wean yourself off of it.

Find a person who cares about you for you and not as a pay day.

The kind of hobbying you are describing is a black hole frankly. If there is one bright spot in it, at least you are aware that you have a problem.

I would agree.

Maybe even hit the pause button on all your sexual proclivities for awhile. As fun as Tinder, Bumbl and Match (etc.) are, you may want to give it some time. It doesn’t sound like you’re in a very good place.

But if you think you’ve become physically addicted to this hobby, give your actual head a shake. Every time you want to check out TERB, or an SP, Agency or MP site, do something healthy like pushups or sit-ups. As-for breaking the habit of actually seeing girls in the industry, cold turkey is what works best for me.

Cutting back is a compromise, and with any compromise comes the opportunity to compromise on the compromise.

You may want to see a therapist of some kind, even for a little while. If you can afford this hobby, you can afford therapy.

I imagine there’s more to this than just a hobby that took over your life, and allowed you to justify pushing friends, colleagues and family away.

Get a gym membership, or start running or cycling. Those endorphins go a long way, and will probably put you in the right place to be when you’re actually ready to meet a civvy.

 

[verboselypithy]

slowly start seeing less Sps over the next 6months or less.
1/ week
1 /2 weeks
1/3 weeks
1/4 weeks
etc.
and go socializing after work and weekends more. Yip, easier said then done, I know.

Yup my good sir. 1/2 weeks was the best I got to recently.

it can be lonely at the top, but again, some girls can make your life a living hell

Hell comes in different flavours. I sure have forgotten how the particular type you mentioned tastes.

You could try Seeking Arrangement. Civvy girls (for the most part), longer dates (possibly dinner or movie as well as sex) and the majority accept that sex will be involved. It does take some navigating to learn the ropes, but once you do there are tons of girls there. But definitely not as easy as seeing SPs.

As a matter of fact, I did try it for a few weeks. I never did "learn the ropes" unfortunately. I had a semi-success story there, but I broke it off because it just feels like a pricier version of this hobby.

While I haven't officially quit I have really lost the desire to see an sp ever again after getting a little more involved with one ; it completely took the fun out of it and now I'm saving so much money lol

Care to tell us who she is? She must be good. Just kidding. I am happy for you.

I sometimes wonder if I will become like you in ten years.

One difference is that I don’t feel the addiction. I just do this from time to time.

I imagine I’d you keep busy or stop browsing these sites your desire may dwindle.

The very first thing I do every morning is to check TERB for the deserts of the day. I do this because I do not want to miss any gem before she gets popular. I wish I could ask someone to set a parental filter for me, but then that person would know that I see SP's.

I tried for three years to quit the hobby but never lasted more than a month or so. I always kept getting dragged back in.
My biggest problem was actually being a member here. Even when I was not partaking in company with the ladies I still kept checking the site out to see what was going on.
Then I would see an intriguing review or advertisement and then I was lured back in.

Finally it happened. Without anywork on my part a change in my life caused my lifestyle to get out of hobbying, so far for close to two years.
I collapsed at work and was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery and it was discovered that I had late stages of cancer.
Since that day I have had five surgeries and have now been diagnosed with having terminal cancer. I will be having chemotherapy sessions for the rest of my life.

The combination of type 1 diabetes with the effects of the cancer and chemo medicine has diminished my blood flow so much that it is no longer possible for me to retain an erection.
My sex drive is still there, just my ability to perform is gone. This has forced me to refrain from seeing providers. I have tried a couple of times but have been unsuccessful.

I may put chemo on hold for a couple of months later this year in order to regain some blood flow and maybe see someone for a birthday treat.
Since I am a terminal case my oncologist tells me that a two month break will not cause any problems.

This is not the way I would wish anyone to be forced out of the hobby, but one positive result is that am closer to my family since I am no longer spending my social time with providers.

But like I said before, if you really want to quit the business for good, stay away from this board to limit your enticement back. Good luck.

Hey NB, sorry about your condition. My thoughts, like those of Kirby below, are with you as well.

The kind of hobbying you are describing is a black hole frankly. If there is one bright spot in it, at least you are aware that you have a problem.

The funny thing is every time I meet an attractive civilian, I start to think what I can trade with her. Before I know it, I started giving every civilian I meet with an hourly rate. I am so afraid that I might somehow let the rates slip when I do approach them. It's so much easier when the prices are agreed upon before hand.

I would agree.

Maybe even hit the pause button on all your sexual proclivities for awhile. As fun as Tinder, Bumbl and Match (etc.) are, you may want to give it some time. It doesn’t sound like you’re in a very good place.

But if you think you’ve become physically addicted to this hobby, give your actual head a shake. Every time you want to check out TERB, or an SP, Agency or MP site, do something healthy like pushups or sit-ups. As-for breaking the habit of actually seeing girls in the industry, cold turkey is what works best for me.

Cutting back is a compromise, and with any compromise comes the opportunity to compromise on the compromise.

You may want to see a therapist of some kind, even for a little while. If you can afford this hobby, you can afford therapy.

I imagine there’s more to this than just a hobby that took over your life, and allowed you to justify pushing friends, colleagues and family away.

Get a gym membership, or start running or cycling. Those endorphins go a long way, and will probably put you in the right place to be when you’re actually ready to meet a civvy.

I already go to the gym regularly and I am actually quite fit. I am one of those serious guys in the gym that always go for the perfect form and get upset if I slack off or couldn't lift as heavy as before. My point being, I am not the type to relax and half-ass my task, and I think this sort of OCD behaviour has one way or another led me to where I am now.

I think seeing a therapist is my only way to go. What kind of therapist should I see?

 

[ultistar]

Cold turkey.

I should not be giving advise.

 

[LT56]

Maybe try re-connecting with others in your life...or meet some new people. Don’t even worry if it has anything to do with sex...Just focus on developing other aspects of your life that you can feel good about.

 

[2big2frail]

Use that money you're saving and find a therapist. We could all use some therapy in all honesty. Just by seeing those few paragraphs you wrote there is a lot to unpack there, personally I think it would be best to see a professional about the things you feel are lacking in your life. As for the type of therapist, any type of talk therapy would probably be beneficial - your issues seem to stem from interpersonal problems so a relationship therapist might be a good starting point.

 

[jcpro]

Or you could just embrace your solitude. It seems that you enjoy your own company more than social interactions. Perhaps you should try to explore the reasons behind that . The society and the evolution made us to be social animals, but there are always exceptions.

 

[managee]

I already go to the gym regularly and I am actually quite fit. I am one of those serious guys in the gym that always go for the perfect form and get upset if I slack off or couldn't lift as heavy as before. My point being, I am not the type to relax and half-ass my task, and I think this sort of OCD behaviour has one way or another led me to where I am now.

I think seeing a therapist is my only way to go. What kind of therapist should I see?

Although getting and staying in shape is a great idea, the suggestion I had was more about adding new tricks to your bag to break the routine; stuff to disrupt the immediate triggers to the cycle you’re describing.

If you’re already doing it all, you’ll need to find something else that’ll give you that endorphin hit but doesn’t require a cum shot and a financial exchange. Volunteering has worked for me.

As for a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist, you’ll probably want to start by seeing your family doctor. They’ve usually got connections within their ‘family health team.’ If you need pills, you’ll need to see a psychiatrist, I believe. They’re the most expensive /hr. Psychologists are a bit cheaper, think agency prices per hour, and social workers are a lot cheaper. Which one is ‘best’ is entirely up to the individual, but if you have a benefits package, you might be limited in-terms of options. Take the time to see a few different therapists, and decide which one works best for you.

 

[roxyfan]

This year would be my 10th year hobbying. During this time, I have never even bothered seeing civilians. This hobby has always helped me with my increasingly reclusive lifestyle. By "reclusive," I meant I would minimize any human contact possible without affecting my job performance. For instance, when my colleagues are socializing, I would usually avoid them unless there is anything for me to gain or helps me advance my career.

I miss having genuine friends that I could hang out and gossip with. I miss having some girls that I could fantasize and masturbate over. I miss connecting with real people rather than fucking some strange lady that would stop talking to me once my time is up. I miss interacting with people without knowing it's just a business transaction. The truth is, I am pretty sure I have lost all my ability to connect with people.

I am also estranged from my family, so every time there's a holiday, I feel miserable.

This is probably the last place I want to ask, but what do I do? I really want out of this hobby, but I doubt I could survive without hobbying. My most recent record was 2 weeks without hobbying, and then I binged like crazy afterwards.

What do I do?

I used to think I was the only guy here with problems like this. I got counselling for sex addiction starting 16 months ago as I realized that I had a real problem and wanted to get out. Cold turkey does not work as will power only lasts so long. What is required is a change in thinking and a lot of self analysis and a phase out from the scene over a year.....that's not theory....that is my actual experience. Stop all triggers like porn- I had my computer guy put filters in at my office so I could not watch and after a few weeks, I lost interest in porn. I stopped carrying my debit and credit cards with me and only had $20 on me at all times as I could not be trusted with having quick access to cash. Stop reading reviews of the ladies here and generally just stay away while you are in the quitting period. Exercise, get fresh air, eat healthy, read positive thinking books, and talk about your issues with a close friend and professional. I phased out the past year and now enjoy a lot more cash flow and don't miss my days of debauchary one bit.

 

[LT56]

I used to think I was the only guy here with problems like this. I got counselling for sex addiction starting 16 months ago as I realized that I had a real problem and wanted to get out. Cold turkey does not work as will power only lasts so long. What is required is a change in thinking and a lot of self analysis and a phase out from the scene over a year.....that's not theory....that is my actual experience. Stop all triggers like porn- I had my computer guy put filters in at my office so I could not watch and after a few weeks, I lost interest in porn. I stopped carrying my debit and credit cards with me and only had $20 on me at all times as I could not be trusted with having quick access to cash. Stop reading reviews of the ladies here and generally just stay away while you are in the quitting period. Exercise, get fresh air, eat healthy, read positive thinking books, and talk about your issues with a close friend and professional. I phased out the past year and now enjoy a lot more cash flow and don't miss my days of debauchary one bit.

Hey Roxyfan:

Why do you still log in to Terb if you’ve left the hobby? Doesn’t being here kinda put you at risk to relapse?

Just wondering.

 

[roxyfan]

Hey Roxyfan:

Why do you still log in to Terb if you’ve left the hobby? Doesn’t being here kinda put you at risk to relapse?

Just wondering.

When I was transitioning out of the scene a year ago, I did not log in much as that was the at risk time. There are lots of interesting threads here that don't involve reviews so it provides some light reading. I also log in to chat with a few friends I have made here over the years.

 

[PornAddict]

This year would be my 10th year hobbying. During this time, I have never even bothered seeing civilians. This hobby has always helped me with my increasingly reclusive lifestyle. By "reclusive," I meant I would minimize any human contact possible without affecting my job performance. For instance, when my colleagues are socializing, I would usually avoid them unless there is anything for me to gain or helps me advance my career.

I miss having genuine friends that I could hang out and gossip with. I miss having some girls that I could fantasize and masturbate over. I miss connecting with real people rather than fucking some strange lady that would stop talking to me once my time is up. I miss interacting with people without knowing it's just a business transaction. The truth is, I am pretty sure I have lost all my ability to connect with people.

I am also estranged from my family, so every time there's a holiday, I feel miserable.

This is probably the last place I want to ask, but what do I do? I really want out of this hobby, but I doubt I could survive without hobbying. My most recent record was 2 weeks without hobbying, and then I binged like crazy afterwards.

What do I do?

Resticted your cash flow .. Example take most of your money and tied it up by buying a condo and put it on a big mortgage / also used up any unused RRSP contribution from previous years and max out your RRSP & TSFA account. So when you tied up your money hopefully it restricted your spending on service providers! No easy access to money then it harder for you to spend on Servive provider!
Also watch Netflix ... Like tv show that are long and can filled up your spare time! For example if you like action watch the walking dead which has 8 or 9 season ! Each season has at leasted 10 episodes in a season! There lots of good tv shows in Netflix!