How did you find yourself in life?

[xix]

I met a few divorce women who always say after a break up from a relationship. I don't know how to find myself? or I haven't found myself.

There is no sense in giving them guidance because I seen them take an offense to other people suggestions whether men or women. I have a feeling these people just say this as an excuse to show the breakup wasn't their fault and are looking for a new toy. When it was them.

At the same time I believe these people have emotional void in their self or conscience , hence why they can't find themselves. People will compensate their voids with drugs, alcohol, sex, "traveling", spending money on material things, and other silly things I may have forgotten to mention.

That aside how did you find yourself. Some people will claim that sex is not it or is the way.

HOW did you find yourself? - reading books, asking people
What was your process?
Was it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual?
Gave up silly things? like what?

Was it worth it?
Are you still searching?

 

[shack]

I met a few divorce women who always say after a break up from a relationship. I don't know how to find myself? or I haven't found myself.

There is no sense in giving them guidance because I seen them take an offense to other people suggestions whether men or women. I have a feeling these people just say this as an excuse to show the breakup wasn't their fault and are looking for a new toy. When it was them.

At the same time I believe these people have emotional void in their self or conscience , hence why they can't find themselves. People will compensate their voids with drugs, alcohol, sex, "traveling", spending money on material things, and other silly things I may have forgotten to mention.

That aside how did you find yourself.

I found myself by getting divorced.

I didn't have to worry about anyone else's preferences, needs and demands. I could just be my own person that I couldn't during 10 years of marriage.

I saw how much I could accomplish all on my own, including co-raising two young kids, running my business, establishing new and maintaining existing friendships. People respected me and our relationships. Not only did I find myself, I grew as a person and seeing what I could do was a huge boost to my confidence. Instead of being stifled I flourished.

 

[verticallychallenged]

2 to 3 grams of psilocybin should do the trick

 

[Ceiling Cat]

If you do not know who you are, where you are at or where you are going...........................
............accept yourself for who you know you are today and improve yourself, or stay as you are. There is no right or wrong way to be you.

 

[xix]

Yeah @Ceiling Cat "Acceptance" is the key. Plus more.

 

[angrymime666]

I met a few divorce women who always say after a break up from a relationship. I don't know how to find myself? or I haven't found myself.

There is no sense in giving them guidance because I seen them take an offense to other people suggestions whether men or women. I have a feeling these people just say this as an excuse to show the breakup wasn't their fault and are looking for a new toy. When it was them.

At the same time I believe these people have emotional void in their self or conscience , hence why they can't find themselves. People will compensate their voids with drugs, alcohol, sex, "traveling", spending money on material things, and other silly things I may have forgotten to mention.

That aside how did you find yourself. Some people will claim that sex is not it or is the way.

HOW did you find yourself? - reading books, asking people
What was your process?
Was it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual?
Gave up silly things? like what?

Was it worth it?
Are you still searching?

how did I find myself?

its a long process, that resulted once I met all my needs(maslows hierarchy).

its a learning curve that came from listening and watching. I watched a lot of tv as a child. came from an intact family with a christian background, went to school in the catholic school system and grew within the framework. grew up watching moralistic after school specials and cartoons reciting platitudes of life. many long term relationship living with women and seeing behavior up close and personal. working in the social services field and seeing the darkest parts of human behavior, while also seeing the good in many of my friends. learning from the successes and failures of others and myself, and making choices based on all those things. learning that every choice I make has a ripple effect in the events of my life. a personal code developed by myself from all the things I saw and learned. grew and naturally outgrew previous behavior and made choices based on surviving and improving my life. learning early that stuff does not equate happiness. a near death experience. I also spend more time then normal thinking about myself and the direction of my life.

its difficult to narrow it down to just one thing. its a cumulation of so many things.

I dont think people spend the time reflecting upon their actions and choices as much as they should. how can one know themselves when their focus is on everything else?(social media, partner, kids, job, obligations). I am an lone wolf and introvert so I believe it comes much easier for me.

I only wish that it didnt take me as long to get here. I reached it in 2018 when I fulfilled the last of my needs. since then I have a no fucks given, and live my life on my terms instead of the terms of others and survival. I do still analyze my choices and behavior as it has enabled me to successfully direct my life.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Too late. School of hard knocks. Slow learner. Like Don Henley said. "all the things I thought I'd figured out I had to learn again."

 

[Sonic Temple]

Great thread mate - tbh - still finding myself. I am content and have accepted many things as 'well that's what I am' mentality, but with the option of willing to change. Music, people and experiences have shaped me thus far and you know, I like those categories because with that comes new adventures. I hope I never find myself because I feel that's when I will be content and stop experiencing new things.

 

[xix]

I found myself on TERB.

Yeah I was expecting this but not sure how fast.

@Sonic Temple you never stop growing or learning till the day you die or you stop yourself. There will periods of time when you have to plateau for awhile, it is expected. For me at least.

I think single people who read and do the above mentioned, find themselves faster and differently than people who have been married or had kids. Their progress is different and then they look at non childless people as never grown. But that attitude is what hinders them.


1. Acceptance
2. Willing to change
3. successes and failures of others and myself, and making choices based on all those things
4. don't have to worry about anyone else's preferences, needs and demands

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

voidphase is that you?

well you need good motivation to do it. Without that it will never happen. Sometimes great trauma is a nice motivator like losing the love your life, experiencing war, or seeing death of a loved one or betrayal.

Most of our life which includes our identity has been programmed into us from birth like culture, identity, religion, politics etc.

Most people just accept it and believe this is what or who they are until they meet their death bed and only some start to question these types of ideas.

To do it is quite simple. Just unlearn everything they indoctrinated you with since birth and learn it on you own terms while keeping all the tools and talents you have learned along the way like critical thinking.

We all have this core being once the layers get stripped away. Most don’t care to find or couldn’t be bothered.

what’s the reward. Well living life on you own terms and not under control or influence of anyone in other words true and absolute freedom. You can still pretend and live by the rules while freeing your mind and it’s potential. It’s actually quite powerful and liberating.

 

[Ceiling Cat]