How addictive is this hobby for you? Is it getting worse?

[mmad]

VERY WEL to the point my friend. Myself retired, now on a FIXED income unlike the Members of Parliament, I can MAYBE visit a MA every month. If I am LUCKY twice in a month. Can only afford long time MA's and not the high end VIBE or CMJ, after all the end result is the same but in a different more pleasant environment. To me as long as the service is clean and reasonable as well as satisfactory, I have no objections.

Well said Skinflute. Being retired as well, I now spend my MA dollars a little more carefully. I tend not to frequent the more expensive establishments (although I do miss some of them) and focus on the well priced, good, clean quality MAs. Yes, the variety is not quite the same but there are some very amicable MA's out there. Also, to save a buck, I can often be found at the PM on Wednesday's for their lovely complimentary roast beef lunch !!!!

 

[LoveThemGirls]

When I started my ebony "hobby" about eight years ago I found that I was getting emotionally attached (to varying degrees) with several of the ladies who I met. This created considerable emotional pain although reality always kicked in sooner or later. It took much longer to get over some of the ladies than others.

I've been a relatively infrequent user of escorts since I was in my early 20's (I'm now in my mid 40's); I'm guessing I've seen about 3 dozen (not to mention countless MPA's). I've had great sex with quite a few and enjoyed my time without getting any emotional attachments at all, not even close, but I saw one this past weekend that left me kind of shattered. The sex itself was ok, I've had much better, but I connected with her on a mental level that I didn't think was possible and I'm a bit ashamed of myself for doing so. There was just something about her personality, looks and words that I can't forget. So yes, even for seasoned guys like myself, the risk of emotional attachment is always possible and dangerous.

 

[jfire999]

Good Luck

Question.... Why not just quit hobbying and keep the cash for doing stuff with civilian chicks?
I can understand gettting into financial trouble and needing to quit that aspect but you make it sound like you are quitting vagina as a whole. I wish you all the best but as a man you should know your apetites and deal with it accordingly.

The freedom of having fun with beautiful girls who leave after is the greatest thing in Canada. To sum it up
"I love bad bitches
I've got a problem
Yeah I like to fuck
I've got a fucking problem" ASAP Rocky & Two Chains!

You could do stuff with Civilian girls, but the thing is there's no guarantee your gonna get anything out of it. You could meet a girl go on multiple dates with them and still not get sex or even if you do, she might look good but suck in bed or just suck at doing anything sexual. There's pro's and con's for both, one thing is certain. If your with a SP, MP, or on a date with a regular chick, you are going to spend money that's a given no gettin around that. I personally like MP's better the whole SP thing. MPs look better, and the whole session with a MP is more erotic. I have calmed my addiction some with MPs, but my addiction to trying to fuck as many beautiful women as possible is an addiction all it's own. Might as well get it out my system now, cause when i'm old and gray I won't be able to get around like I can now to do it all, lol.

 

[milehigh]

I would say anyone on this board, male or female has a larger sex drive and interest in sex than the norm to begin with.

So there always is a danger of over-doing, and I know I have been guilty of doing so time to time.

However, overall, seeing escorts has done me a lot of good, and it is probably the thing I look most forward to every week.

As relationships go, I do have some women I am very close with.... one day there may be potential.

However, I had some close calls that just did not work out, some disasters, and some heart break.

So I know the best thing for me is to take a holiday from relationships.... and to me seeing an escort is a really special thing. I do find Civilian girls just not as much in tune with their sexuality.

One other thing is that my life has become so stressful and I have to do way too much in way too many directions, that seeing an escort is my time.... and I can concentrate on one thing only when I see them.

 

[milehigh]

I too have the same sort of price range. I am ok financially but I am a working man. The same 200 girls are now giving 60 80 quickie specials.

The only thing I think that will cure my sex drive is death!

 

[DukeSSk]

I find myself with much more free time so far this summer. I'd say that I'm fairly disciplined and don't spend like crazy for this. One thing I'm trying out is 30 mins encounters.

 

[immerL]

I've been a hobbyist for 10 years now. I went thru a phase when I was seeing an SP almost every week. But somewhere I just lost interest. Not because I wanted to, but I just got bored. Things that wud excite me earlier just didn't anymore. . I also got sick and tired of being scared of getting some bug each time after visiting SP. These days I go for massage, once every 3 months or so... only because I have my favorite MP who is nice. Even that has become sorta boring. So.. to summarize, u will fall out of the habit when ur body/mind does not want it anymore.

That happened to me too.
I started 7 years ago.
10 months ago, I got completely bored.
Sex is no longer exciting, SPs are boring, porn I rarely watch.
Except my prob is that I still engage with SPs, about 4-8 times a month.
Hard to stop even though I don't enjoy it.

Worse side effect is:
No women, regardless of how attractive, whether in real or in pictures, can give me the Whoa...wow/WTF/Niceeee initial reaction that I used to get when I booked a girl.NO WOMEN.
Worse part, I'm not even that old, under 30.

Has anyone else gone through this ?

 

[BootyLoving]

You need to find a woman that you can't afford that won't be bought and thinks you are not even worthy of bein pissedbon by them. There - problem solved.

The way I limit my hobby is setting a lot of selection criteria, over analyse, and over research. By the time I'm through with the process, they are either gone, booked, I remember I needed to do something important, or I forget what I was doing, or simply no longer horny. Just exhausted from the analysis process.

 

[freestuff]

That happened to me too.
I started 7 years ago.
10 months ago, I got completely bored.
Sex is no longer exciting, SPs are boring, porn I rarely watch.
Except my prob is that I still engage with SPs, about 4-8 times a month.
Hard to stop even though I don't enjoy it.

Worse side effect is:
No women, regardless of how attractive, whether in real or in pictures, can give me the Whoa...wow/WTF/Niceeee initial reaction that I used to get when I booked a girl.NO WOMEN.
Worse part, I'm not even that old, under 30.

Has anyone else gone through this ?

You need professional help - if not for your mental health at least for your financial health.
I guess the good thing is that you're still relatively young and can still built for your retirement.
If you don't enjoy it anymore then you need to STOP.
You're only suppose to pursue a hobby if you enjoy it - otherwise, it's an addiction.

 

[mrclean]

The way I limit my hobby is setting a lot of selection criteria, over analyse, and over research. By the time I'm through with the process, they are either gone, booked, I remember I needed to do something important, or I forget what I was doing, or simply no longer horny. Just exhausted from the analysis process.

I do something similar. I also sometimes simply jack off. More importantly, I've reflected on my hobbying, motivation for it, etc. many times which has been helpful. For example, I realized, a couple of times cuz I'm a slow learner and its addictive, that after you've had some great sex with a few good SPs that there is NOT "something even better".

 

[immerL]

You need professional help - if not for your mental health at least for your financial health.

Well, I don't spend more than 20% of my net income on this stuff.
I don't spend money on a car (use public transport), rent/mortgage, going-out, alcohol, vacations or anything else materialistic.
Basically just on food, clothing and transport to work and back. So I think I'm OK financially.
Rest is all savings or this kind of "fun" to stay sane and alive

Only thing that worries me is lack of interest in attractive SPs, weak erections (only goes up 80%), no feelings, fun or enjoyment in sex
My friend says to wait 10-15 days every-time and it'd be more enjoyable. Use it as a treat.
Last Wednesday was fun, I waited 11 days, but still not as fun as my early 20s when I first started

 

[Frank Ricard]

To me it sounds like you're clinically depressed. It appears that you've used SPs like others use drugs and alcohol to bandaid underlying issues, and over time the endorphin effect has diminished or vanished altogether...to the point that you're not even functioning normally sexually anymore. For a young person, this is a major red flag.

I'd suggest you try to find other things in your life to focus on, like a healthy diet and exercise, healthy friendships, and ultimately a healthy relationship. I'd also suggest seeing a doctor for a full physical with bloodwork to make sure everything is as it should be.

Well, I don't spend more than 20% of my net income on this stuff.
I don't spend money on a car (use public transport), rent/mortgage, going-out, alcohol, vacations or anything else materialistic.
Basically just on food, clothing and transport to work and back. So I think I'm OK financially.
Rest is all savings or this kind of "fun" to stay sane and alive

Only thing that worries me is lack of interest in attractive SPs, weak erections (only goes up 80%), no feelings, fun or enjoyment in sex
My friend says to wait 10-15 days every-time and it'd be more enjoyable. Use it as a treat.
Last Wednesday was fun, I waited 11 days, but still not as fun as my early 20s when I first started

 

[freestuff]

I don't spend money on a car (use public transport), rent/mortgage, going-out, alcohol, vacations or anything else materialistic.
Basically just on food, clothing and transport to work and back.

Your life sounds terrible.

 

[mrclean]

@immert

Ditto what Frank said. I'd suggest you start with some healthy exercise that you enjoy asap. If you can find something that allows you to also socialize at the same time then even better. The other advice your friend gave you about waiting longer also makes sense to me as it helps for me to. Also suggest quality over quantity in your SP encounters and seeing the whole person, not just the "services". Keep in mind you can only go so far with the "whole" person thing; it is after all a business transaction. So best to form friendships outside of the hobby as Frank's advice implies.

To me it sounds like you're clinically depressed. It appears that you've used SPs like others use drugs and alcohol to bandaid underlying issues, and over time the endorphin effect has diminished or vanished altogether...to the point that you're not even functioning normally sexually anymore. For a young person, this is a major red flag.

I'd suggest you try to find other things in your life to focus on, like a healthy diet and exercise, healthy friendships, and ultimately a healthy relationship. I'd also suggest seeing a doctor for a full physical with bloodwork to make sure everything is as it should be.

 

[KathrynBardot]

Herbie, just like any addiction it is very hard to quit the addiction but there needs to be great incentive to give up the addiction. For smoking addiction for example a great many people gave up smoking because it caused them or someone they knew heart attack or lung cancer. As for drug addiction example similar health reasons plus the fact that it was made illegal. So back to hobby addiction if you want to quit the addiction there are plenty of strong incentives too. Those are the fact that it harms individuals as it is a fact that many providers (I read as much as 80%) are forced (by someone or desperate need for money) or pimped (sometimes by violent pimps).

Many are forced to provide those services or fetishes that no wife or girlfriend will ever provide and may likely be considered slavery. Some providers put their (physical and/or mental) health at risk (and those who partake my put the health of their loved ones at risk) to provide whatever they are asked for because of desperation for money or avoid punishment by the pimp (likely to feed drug addiction or provide for child). But there are always those who don't care or do care but totally unable to quit the hobby then maybe there is a need for another stronger incentive as maybe the only remaining alternative is to make it illegal and harshly punish the demand side of the sex industry. It is also a fact that no little girl hopes or plans to be a prostitute as her future career when she grows up and no father wishes to see her daughter to adopt that profession either.........If you wish to quit then do it slowly and over time and gradual. While doing this only call for those you are 100% sure are in this voluntarily or you have seen before. Find alternative hobbies like dancers or dance bars or sports or start all over by dating someone compatible.... My 2 cents.

Someone needs to stop reading Melissa Farley.

And for the record, "punishing the demand side" is not going to guarantee anyone's safety; in fact, it will just make clients less willing to be screened, and it does nothing to address the stigma of being a sex worker or a client of a sex worker. We have laws against human trafficking. Sex work is not sex work when it is non-consensual.
As for your "no one wants their daughter to be a sex worker" bullshit: no one wants their children to be unsafe. The current laws and the proposed Swedish model laws do exactly that - they put us at risk. I know providers whose parents are totally fine with and support their daughter's chosen profession. I also know of parents who don't approve of their child's choice to be a police officer, to join the army/navy, to work with convicted criminals. It's a matter of perceived safety and of stigmatization.

 

[KathrynBardot]

It is not consensual when a sex worker is desperate for money either to provide for her child

So by this definition, if someone is desperate for money to provide for them or their children, then it's not consensual for them to work at McDonald's? As a secretary? We ALL work for money for the things we need in life. I sincerely doubt you would get up and go to work everyday if it was not fulfilling your needs.

It is NOT consensual when a sex worker is pimped and provide services out of the fear for her life or punishment by the violent dog.

No, that would not be sex work, that would be human trafficking.

It is not consensual when a sex worker is put in a position to provide services she doesn't wish or doesn't feel safe to provide and based on my reading (yes written by opponents of prostitution) it is mostly (as much as 80%) in the categories I just described.

Please oh please, do tell me where you are getting these statistics.
Here's a fun weekend activity for you - read some debunking of these "facts" being thrown around by the abolitionists: http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/a-load-of-farley/ for starters, and http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/safety-in-numbers/ for a nice, long read.

 

[KathrynBardot]

On your second comment I did tell you where I got my statistics (the opponents of prostitution) which may have been exaggerated.

Saying you got your statistics from "the opponents of prostitution" is not an answer. If I told you I got steak on sale, and you asked me where, replying with "at the grocery store" isn't an appropriate answer, either.

I don't disagree that coercion and pimping are bad. I do think you tend to be overly excitable and should perhaps refrain from going off on topics you don't fully understand.

 

[KathrynBardot]

You have the right express yourself, just as I have the right to call you out when you're making incorrect statements on flawed information. Nowhere did I say that it was because you are a client, or because you are male - please don't play that card.

 

[igotaboner]

I think this is a great hobby and at times I worry if I am addicted to it. The attractiveness of being someone totally different and uninhibited is part of the allure for me. I love being with beautiful sexy women and the fact that you get to meet so many of them...well ya ok it's addictive!!:eyebrows:

 

[canuckhooker]

I read papers from all over the country mostly on the net and you want me to pin point which paper and what article and what date, I can't. Coercion and pimping are evil (bad is understatement) and so is being forced for the reasons I cited earlier (which you did not mention in your post as bad). I may be overly excited and concede that I am no expert when it comes to sex industry or what is best (I said so in another thread where I said maybe the NZ decriminalization model would be the best alternative to status quo to better secure safety of providers) but I also feel I have an equal right to express my views (right or not) as much as you do and it is up to the readers to decide for themselves. The fact that I am not a female or a provider doesn't mean I don't have equal right to my views that I am entitled to have and the freedom to express them. This is terb not the other one btw. I won't be posting on this topic anymore.

Why is it when anytime anyone disagrees with your opinion you have to make reference that this his not "the other board"? Spouting ill-informed drivel is frowned on everywhere.