Hobbying with relationship/marriage

[coolmanfever]

Hello. I was inspirated to create this thread based on Hobbying without relationship/marriage thread someone created earlier. Hopefully to hear from the other side of story.

For people over 40 who have involved in marriage/serious relationships all the time while hobbying actively, how do you feel about life? what makes you continue doing hobbying?
If you are happy with your relationship/marriage, why are you still hobbying?

 

[Stukatz4u]

It’s best explained. You have vanilla ice cream regularly but sometimes you just want chocolate.

 

[lessjamie7]

Since COVID hit we have done this subject at least three times, I'm out.

LJ

 

[Jenesis]

Since COVID hit we have done this subject at least three times, I'm out.

LJ

Ya I remember being in one resenting. I was asking about trying for open relationships or not getting married at all if variety is your thing.

He should have done a search. It is only a few pages back.

 

[Samranchoi]

Met a special woman and other than coming here for “entertainment purposes”, this will be my only venture into hobby world.

I do however, know one woman who is married and is still in the business but in an exclusive relationship with one client (his choice) who pays her a monthly fee of 5 figures. She splits her time between her client and husband. His marriage destroyed and millions lost because of this arrangement. He thought he could keep his marriage and the exclusive relationship but his spouse found out. Just something to think about if you have a lot to lose. And the thing is, this is not the only story I know of (and I am sure many here know of many as well) where a marriage has crumbled because of this hobby.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Hello. I was inspirated to create this thread based on Hobbying without relationship/marriage thread someone created earlier. Hopefully to hear from the other side of story.

For people over 40 who have involved in marriage/serious relationships all the time while hobbying actively, how do you feel about life? what makes you continue doing hobbying?
If you are happy with your relationship/marriage, why are you still hobbying?

you hobby when you feel used by the other partner as a tool when it suits their needs especially if you keep trying to fix it but through time it keeps getting worse and the relationship you have gets taken for granted.

You committed to the person to stay in the relationship but you also need to feel connection to other human beings that don’t take you for granted. Who knows maybe if you make a formal commitment it starts you on a path towards indifference towards each other.

Just because you hobby doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you love yourself enough not to allow your soul and humanity to be completely sucked out of your existence.

Who wants to live life being jaded and in despair.

 

[Tomoreno]

We all start out single ready to mingle. Teenage through 20's are widely accepted as years to have fun and experiment.
When people go out, meet others, date - most are at their best. Have to look the best, behave the best or else things likely won't work out in your favour.

Then comes the time when many people feel the urge to take it to another level, add some meaning to life and relationship. People get married, buy house, have kids.

Life changes in more ways that one.
Goals, lifestyles, circle of friends etc - all change. It's very unlikely for married couples to hang out with single friends anymore.
Life becomes safe, routinely.

Married women get more and more comfortable. True behavior and habits become normal. No need to dress sexy or wear make up at home. No need to be shy anymore, perhaps even fart or burp in hubby's presence.
After babies come, women's bodies change. Some remain fit, while most gain weight and very few are able to manage it.
Add kids to the mix. They don't exactly make environment very sexy.
Imagine yourself coming home from work, then driving kids to extra curricular activities, chores, errands etc. By the time you come home there's very little energy. That applies to both husband and wife.
By the time you're both in bed thoughts of sleep and rest come to mind before sex.

Sex can still happen anytime but there's far less excitement. Some women and men understand that sex becomes stale and try to spice up their life, while others are adamant.

When spouse's sex drives and needs don't match that's when thoughts of something extra come to mind. Some people start dating on the side, have an affair. Those usually involve feelings and emotions which eventually come to the surface and get exposed.

Visiting SP or MP is a safer option if there's an itch for that. The key is - get in, get out and forget about it. It's a supplement, not a subsitution. Those who turn it into something more get caught and get in trouble.

 

[lessjamie7]

Met a special woman and other than coming here for “entertainment purposes”, this will be my only venture into hobby world.

I do however, know one woman who is married and is still in the business but in an exclusive relationship with one client (his choice) who pays her a monthly fee of 5 figures. She splits her time between her client and husband. His marriage destroyed and millions lost because of this arrangement. He thought he could keep his marriage and the exclusive relationship but his spouse found out. Just something to think about if you have a lot to lose. And the thing is, this is not the only story I know of (and I am sure many here know of many as well) where a marriage has crumbled because of this hobby.

I have much to lose and none of it is money!

I know some people so poor, all they have is money!

LJ

 

[lessjamie7]

Ya I remember being in one resenting. I was asking about trying for open relationships or not getting married at all if variety is your thing.

He should have done a search. It is only a few pages back.

I hope things get emotional with an SP,,, which is why I usually try to stick with just one, I know the euphoria of growing fond of and trusting each other is short lived, however, while it lasts? there is nothing like it, it is what is missing for me.

LJ

 

[gharamlifter]

I hope things get emotional with an SP,,, which is why I usually try to stick with just one, I know the euphoria of growing fond of and trusting each other is short lived, however, while it lasts? there is nothing like it, it is what is missing for me.

LJ

you are going to get taken for a ride sooner or later.

 

[NiceToMeetYou]

I think that if your spouse is too old or too fat and no longer have sex with you, you can pay-per-meet (PPM for 30, 45 or 60 minutes) with an escort from time to time. So you can have a place to "release" without jerking off yourself. However, you may not want to do the PPM with an escort too often because your spouse may find out. I would say that two times a month is safe from being noticed by your spouse. Of course, you don't want to do a monthly allowance with an escort because it's too committing and your spouse will find out eventually.

 

[lessjamie7]

you are going to get taken for a ride sooner or later.

Thanks mom, been doing this for twenty years with no regrets, whoever said don't mix business with pleasure knew nothing of escorts.

LJ

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Thanks mom, been doing this for twenty years with no regrets, whoever said don't mix business with pleasure knew nothing of escorts.

LJ

Sometimes terb peeps say the dumbest cliche shit possible. Someone should tell them people are not “if” “else if” “or” statements. Like seriously people need to stop being programmed bots.

I agree about the connections and emotional part and it is exactly what makes this hobby fun, exciting and worthwhile.

These people have no fing clue what they are missing out on.

 

[Tomoreno]

May I ask what you mean by something more? All I ever thought it was is a service, something satisfy a need that I have. Do some really want something more out of it?

In my opinion, that's how it should be, a simple transaction. However it's difficult to be intimate and not have any kind of feelings. Seems like it'd be virtually impossible to visit same SP over and over again without building some connection.

Also, this hobby can become addictive to some. When habits turn into addiction, they seem to have a way of changing people's behavior, priorities etc.

There was an example of a person making an exclusive arrangement with SP, then being caught by Mrs... Something led to discovery of infidelity. I can only speculate on what it was, but it was likely a change in behavior first that raised alarms unless a person was careless enough to keep something incriminating on person or in a device.

We also hear stories of clients stalking SPs. Somewhere along the line they develop emotional attachments to a lady.

For those in relationships/marriage it Should simply be an extra, not substitute. Some manage to do just that, while others start dining out more instead of home food.

 

[Nickelodeon]

I'm inspired by the fact that I am supporting the oldest profession and that billions of men before me have enjoyed the transactional benefits of women in this business. This has nothing to do with your wife...it's a buffet out there.

 

[massman]

Hello. I was inspirated to create this thread based on Hobbying without relationship/marriage thread someone created earlier. Hopefully to hear from the other side of story.

For people over 40 who have involved in marriage/serious relationships all the time while hobbying actively, how do you feel about life? what makes you continue doing hobbying?
If you are happy with your relationship/marriage, why are you still hobbying?

Threads like this come up now and again. Polls on here suggest that at least half of the members here are married. Bottom line is some happily married guys are just horndogs, and love the variety or to be able with younger/ more attractive women. Others are happily married, but sex is infrequent. Some are married to a woman who had poor health/ medical problems that preclude sex. Some are reasonably happily married, but have sexual desires that their wife is not into (eg, anal, fetishes, BDSM etc...) and feel the need to scratch that itch now and again. Others are unhappily married, with poor sex lives that will never get better, but stay in it for family, sense of obligation or financial reasons. Some are sex addicts. Lots of reasons why married guys hobby.
If you are married and want to stay that way, keep your hobbying reasonably infrequent, be discreet with cellphones, texts, web browsing, and don’t spend so much it is harming the rest of your life financially.

 

[Mr.Know-It-All]

Can you look in the mirror without feeling guilty?

 

[lessjamie7]

Can you look in the mirror without feeling guilty?

When I look in the mirror I only wonder one thing, how much longer can I hobby before I should respectfully bow out.

LJ

 

[FelixKrull]

We all start out single ready to mingle. Teenage through 20's are widely accepted as years to have fun and experiment.
When people go out, meet others, date - most are at their best. Have to look the best, behave the best or else things likely won't work out in your favour.

Then comes the time when many people feel the urge to take it to another level, add some meaning to life and relationship. People get married, buy house, have kids.

Life changes in more ways that one.
Goals, lifestyles, circle of friends etc - all change. It's very unlikely for married couples to hang out with single friends anymore.
Life becomes safe, routinely.

Married women get more and more comfortable. True behavior and habits become normal. No need to dress sexy or wear make up at home. No need to be shy anymore, perhaps even fart or burp in hubby's presence.
After babies come, women's bodies change. Some remain fit, while most gain weight and very few are able to manage it.
Add kids to the mix. They don't exactly make environment very sexy.
Imagine yourself coming home from work, then driving kids to extra curricular activities, chores, errands etc. By the time you come home there's very little energy. That applies to both husband and wife.
By the time you're both in bed thoughts of sleep and rest come to mind before sex.

Sex can still happen anytime but there's far less excitement. Some women and men understand that sex becomes stale and try to spice up their life, while others are adamant.

When spouse's sex drives and needs don't match that's when thoughts of something extra come to mind. Some people start dating on the side, have an affair. Those usually involve feelings and emotions which eventually come to the surface and get exposed.

Visiting SP or MP is a safer option if there's an itch for that. The key is - get in, get out and forget about it. It's a supplement, not a subsitution. Those who turn it into something more get caught and get in trouble.

Very accurate assessment. I agree getting emotionally involved with a MP or SP is not good. Keep it as a business transaction.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

In my opinion, that's how it should be, a simple transaction. However it's difficult to be intimate and not have any kind of feelings. Seems like it'd be virtually impossible to visit same SP over and over again without building some connection.

Also, this hobby can become addictive to some. When habits turn into addiction, they seem to have a way of changing people's behavior, priorities etc.

There was an example of a person making an exclusive arrangement with SP, then being caught by Mrs... Something led to discovery of infidelity. I can only speculate on what it was, but it was likely a change in behavior first that raised alarms unless a person was careless enough to keep something incriminating on person or in a device.

We also hear stories of clients stalking SPs. Somewhere along the line they develop emotional attachments to a lady.

For those in relationships/marriage it Should simply be an extra, not substitute. Some manage to do just that, while others start dining out more instead of home food.

Don't want to be this guy....again....