Hobbying with relationship/marriage

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Very accurate assessment. I agree getting emotionally involved with a MP or SP is not good. Keep it as a business transaction.

This is kind of an ignorant statement. You wouldn’t say that for people looking for S&M or bondage. How about people digging Girl Friend experience and service providers offering this.

There is a thing called demisexual. It means
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with.
In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.”

There is different versions of this out there. I consider myself this type of individual to some degree although I only stick to women but could see myself attracted to other sexes if I had a certain type of bond.

When I used to hobby I couldn’t get hard or even cum if the girl was dead on the inside but a 10 on the outside.

The best experience came when I just went to an MP and got the a VIP treatment and the MPA took me for a ride. After repeated visits more bond and connection formed and the sessions become more intense. However when the door closed after the fee was paid so did the connections and interactions. It did not affect me family, it did not affect my career, it did not affect my feelings, it made things better because I managed to find what I was missing at home and managed to not mind and not resent my wife because of the void or the lacking in the marriage. It helped save my marriage, it helped give me that I was missing so I be a better husband, a better father and feel more content.

But why, all because I was able to form some connections and find the thing that was missing at home.

Now people are people and they will take advantage and will disrespect the other partner cross their lines etc. This happens in any sector of a society. You become ignorant if you judge something by the ill actions of a few like stalkers or people who don’t respect the industry. Also some Service Providers like being treated like humans, like they matter and they like when someone actually sees them, listens to them and they have some type of connection even if temporary only 1 hr it still is nice. What do you think will happen to SP if they are treated like an object a tool or a thing. Doesn’t matter how thought you think they are or any person is this will have long term damage.

This is why I always says people are not BOTs. We are not defined by an “IF” “OR, “END IF” statements. We are not a program, you are not a program, and don’t allow anyone to take away your free will and choice. This is your life...own it.

If you want to treat people as tools go head and more power to you, but don’t assume others should be doing them same.

 

[fifthgrader]

There are 70% of women that you met you wanna have sex with
20% of women that you met you would be grossed out by
10% of women that you met that you would want to take care of her

When you are with the lucky lady you want to take care of for the rest of your life, the 70% of women that you wanna have sex with are still there...

Women and men are wired differently, when I am asked how many girl that I have been with, I counted in a fashion of "nailed her" and "didn't nail her"
When I ask a few girls (that I didn't pay to) that go on to dates with me, how many serious relationships they were in, they counted as "loved" and "liked"

 

[Varoufakis]

When we are young we confuse 3 things: love, sex, marriage
- We fall in love to get the sex
- To keep the sex going we marry
- Once we marry the sex goes away

When we get older we learn to separate the 3 things,,,

 

[Problem_child]

This is kind of an ignorant statement. You wouldn’t say that for people looking for S&M or bondage. How about people digging Girl Friend experience and service providers offering this.

There is a thing called demisexual. It means
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with.
In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.”

There is different versions of this out there. I consider myself this type of individual to some extent

When I used to hobby I couldn’t get hard or even cum if the girl was dead on the inside but a 10 on the outside.

I can relate to that so I kind of know what you mean

 

[Jenesis]

Thank you
I agree that it should be a simple transaction but unfortunately, some take it to the next level.
I look at it like a business. The SP just wants the money and sure you can build a cordial relationship in the sense that you may share certain things about yourself or life and vice versa but there shouldn’t be feelings of love or what not.
Put the money on the table and get down to business. In and out.

I don’t think it is right to label all with the same brush. And to limit this industry to a simple financial transaction. That is part of it yes. Because you are purchasing a service but that service can be many things. Including building a certain type of relationship. Exclusive of love.

Relationships are fluid and don’t meet one criteria. You have different emotional levels invested. A relationship with a co-worker will be different then a parent that is different from a child that is different from a lover and then different from a spouse.

Some want a certain level of connection and emotional investment. The financial part allows for a boundary to that emotional investment making it usually safer for most. So you can get a hot girl to fuck but also a friendly person you can develop a rapport with and can enjoy their company and companionship as well. Even if only for an hour. All without falling in love

Some people go to a certain bar all the time because they have built a rapport with the bar tender.

And not all women only want money. That is 100% incorrect and leaves out women like me. There are plenty who make money and yea only want the money but I enjoy the dating aspect of it because that is the type of service I offer. Something outside the bedroom. I get to have the best of both worlds. All the fun of relationships, with none of the downside of fighting and pressure and expectation other then what has been set out before hand.

I don’t think I will ever go back to dating. There is no point. I get everything I need out of escorting and the bonus is I get paid. But it is far from the sole reason.

 

[Tomoreno]

And not all women want only want money.

Yes, not all women want want want only want money

 

[Sonic Temple]

It’s best explained. You have vanilla ice cream regularly but sometimes you just want chocolate.

Brilliant!

 

[Sonic Temple]

We all start out single ready to mingle. Teenage through 20's are widely accepted as years to have fun and experiment.
When people go out, meet others, date - most are at their best. Have to look the best, behave the best or else things likely won't work out in your favour.

Then comes the time when many people feel the urge to take it to another level, add some meaning to life and relationship. People get married, buy house, have kids.

Life changes in more ways that one.
Goals, lifestyles, circle of friends etc - all change. It's very unlikely for married couples to hang out with single friends anymore.
Life becomes safe, routinely.

Married women get more and more comfortable. True behavior and habits become normal. No need to dress sexy or wear make up at home. No need to be shy anymore, perhaps even fart or burp in hubby's presence.
After babies come, women's bodies change. Some remain fit, while most gain weight and very few are able to manage it.
Add kids to the mix. They don't exactly make environment very sexy.
Imagine yourself coming home from work, then driving kids to extra curricular activities, chores, errands etc. By the time you come home there's very little energy. That applies to both husband and wife.
By the time you're both in bed thoughts of sleep and rest come to mind before sex.

Sex can still happen anytime but there's far less excitement. Some women and men understand that sex becomes stale and try to spice up their life, while others are adamant.

When spouse's sex drives and needs don't match that's when thoughts of something extra come to mind. Some people start dating on the side, have an affair. Those usually involve feelings and emotions which eventually come to the surface and get exposed.

Visiting SP or MP is a safer option if there's an itch for that. The key is - get in, get out and forget about it. It's a supplement, not a subsitution. Those who turn it into something more get caught and get in trouble.

One of the best responses I have read @Tomoreno well written mate.

 

[Thackeray]

There is nothing better than great sex with a woman you love.

But there are times in life - and times in the day or week - when that's simply not available.

And there are of course activities one may want to try - threesomes, COF, anal, etc. - that the woman you love may not particularly enjoy.

 

[jcpro]

I have to be honest with you people. I feel sorry for you and a bit disgusted. I was involved in two longish term relationships in my lifetime and not once I have even entertained cheating. I had too much respect for myself and for my partner, even when we hit the rocky ground. It's the trust I could never negotiate away. I do understand why people do it and I sympathize, but still, I could never live with this sneaking around. Maybe I'm just old fashioned or maybe I simply not tasted the desperation some of you must experience.

 

[Tomoreno]

I have to be honest with you people. I feel sorry for you and a bit disgusted.

Let me guess. This thought came to you as you were looking in the mirror?

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I have to be honest with you people. I feel sorry for you and a bit disgusted. I was involved in two longish term relationships in my lifetime and not once I have even entertained cheating. I had too much respect for myself and for my partner, even when we hit the rocky ground. It's the trust I could never negotiate away. I do understand why people do it and I sympathize, but still, I could never live with this sneaking around. Maybe I'm just old fashioned or maybe I simply not tasted the desperation some of you must experience.

Who are you trying to persevere and what fucking principles are you trying to uphold. They brainwashed you bro and you still haven’t realized it.

You are just missing out on experience and in a few years they will forget how they treated you or taken you for granted.

Its dynamic and they will keep changing. But why do you have to put up with their shit and deal with the fallout. This way it doesn’t matter what happens. You are still in it for the long game but get your dick wet once in a while. Just say you slipped in and was too slippery oops

You are not their property, grow some backbone and get real. You don’t even know what goes on behind your back and what they be doing.

Look at you all miserable trying to seek validation and trying to tell us about your principles and look at us happily married and don’t give a shit what happens or care that much. Even if the world ends tomorrow so be it, you lived, you loved, you sinned, you tired and were free. Can you say that when you look in the mirror or do you see how much you got played. The only person you are feeling sorry is for yourself and this is your projection telling us how you feel. We will be laughing and having fun with our kids watching Netflix and eating popcorn all day long without worry.

 

[Akila Besos]

My own father was in this hobby and the reason why is like all the other married guys. My mother pushed my father away because she didnt want to help cater to his needs unless it worked on her time. Do i blame my father for seeing sps hell to the fucking no..man needed some tlc that he wasnt getting at home. They are also still married but its just for the kids and grandkids

Also so what if a female/male or whatever is hobbying in a relationship they have reasons that are understood. If one simply doesnt understand then move the fuck along

Also personally i am in a ltr but he doesnt always provide me with the intimate desires/sex i want. Am i a bad person for dabbling with others on the outside ..no im not.

End of the day we are all goddamn mammals who arent built for monogamy atleast in the sexual sense. So we will always do what makes us happy, but we also are aware not to bluntly show it off to those we are seeing.

 

[jcpro]

Who are you trying to persevere and what fucking principles are you trying to uphold. They brainwashed you bro and you still haven’t realized it.

You are just missing out on experience and in a few years they will forget how they treated you or taken you for granted.

Its dynamic and they will keep changing. But why do you have to put up with their shit and deal with the fallout. This way it doesn’t matter what happens. You are still in it for the long game but get your dick wet once in a while. Just say you slipped in and was too slippery oops

You are not their property, grow some backbone and get real. You don’t even know what goes on behind your back and what they be doing.

Look at you all miserable trying to seek validation and trying to tell us about your principles and look at us happily married and don’t give a shit what happens or care that much. Even if the world ends tomorrow so be it, you lived, you loved, you sinned, you tired and were free. Can you say that when you look in the mirror or do you see how much you got played. The only person you are feeling sorry is for yourself and this is your projection telling us how you feel. We will be laughing and having fun with our kids watching Netflix and eating popcorn all day long without worry.

It's just my opinion and nothing else. I simply don't believe that keeping my word upon entering willingly into a monogamous relationship is "brainwashing".

 

[jcpro]

Let me guess. This thought came to you as you were looking in the mirror?

I am single and therefore unafraid of mirrors.

 

[massman]

I have to be honest with you people. I feel sorry for you and a bit disgusted. I was involved in two longish term relationships in my lifetime and not once I have even entertained cheating. I had too much respect for myself and for my partner, even when we hit the rocky ground. It's the trust I could never negotiate away. I do understand why people do it and I sympathize, but still, I could never live with this sneaking around. Maybe I'm just old fashioned or maybe I simply not tasted the desperation some of you must experience.

I respect your views, and what you describe is the ideal monogamous relationship that many would strive for.
However, life and the world is not perfect. There are long term relationships that stay together for reasons other than head over heels, love, attraction, and sexual compatibility.Dissolving some of these relationships could sometimes result in great harm to those involved. So rather than blow up a family, there are some guys who get some of their unmet needs taken care of in a safe, discreet business arrangement. Is it “cheating?” Yes, of course. Is it ideal? No. Is it honest? No. But despite platitudes about loyalty, commitment true love and honesty, in real life some time 100% honesty and truth hurts too much. Real life isn’t always a Harlequin Christmas movie.

If you’ve not found yourself in such a situation, you are fortunate. But be careful to judge, before you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

 

[Charlemagne]

What is the percentage of marriages that contain infidelity? Anyone have a statistic?

 

[jcpro]

I respect your views, and what you describe is the ideal monogamous relationship that many would strive for.
However, life and the world is not perfect. There are long term relationships that stay together for reasons other than head over heels, love, attraction, and sexual compatibility.Dissolving some of these relationships could sometimes result in great harm to those involved. So rather than blow up a family, there are some guys who get some of their unmet needs taken care of in a safe, discreet business arrangement. Is it “cheating?” Yes, of course. Is it ideal? No. Is it honest? No. But despite platitudes about loyalty, commitment true love and honesty, in real life some time 100% honesty and truth hurts too much. Real life isn’t always a Harlequin Christmas movie.

If you’ve not found yourself in such a situation, you are fortunate. But be careful to judge, before you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

Oh, I'm not judging and I think that I understand, having one of my relationships turn out less than ideal to put it very nicely. My pov is my alone and I would never express it outside of the anonymity of the cyberspace. Not my business, really. For me it really comes down to the moral dilemma: is an horrible marriage worth negotiating away my integrity? I'm single, these days, because my answer is "no".

 

[massman]

Oh, I'm not judging and I think that I understand, having one of my relationships turn out less than ideal to put it very nicely. My pov is my alone and I would never express it outside of the anonymity of the cyberspace. Not my business, really. For me it really comes down to the moral dilemma: is an horrible marriage worth negotiating away my integrity? I'm single, these days, because my answer is "no".

Ok. Understand you better and see your POV as well.

 

[Candymancan]

I've been married many years. My wife gave up sex before she was 60. For 5 years my wife gave up missionary (starfish). No Bj (never had one from her), no SF2, no HJ. No nothing. That is why I started to hobby. Never strayed through a lifetime of once a month sex.