Guys, why marry the ugly one?

[andreandi]

`So I am just curious. I am in my 20s and I do want to get married in the future. I find myself to be above an average girl... Is that a problem? I've met so many guys who said Im not wife material cause "im too pretty" or crap like that. If you trule connect with her, why find someone else who is lower when its right in front you? I always see the uglier girls get married first, comapred to good looking ones.

(this doesnt intend an exchange, for money or such, just pure love)

 

[HOF]

Is it possible that they young men think that you're too high maintenance, too prissy, too bossy?

Those ugly girls (as you say) may be nicer, easier going, more open minded, etc.

Think about what you said "the uglier girls marry before the good looking ones!"

 

[andreandi]

Is it possible that they young men think that you're too high maintenance, too prissy, too bossy?

Those ugly girls (as you say) may be nicer, easier going, more open minded, etc.

Think about what you said "the uglier girls marry before the good looking ones!"

Hi thanks for the repy.. I am not bossy etc etc, I do expect manners from them though "please, thank you" .

To my main idea.. Does it go back to the males self-esteem? (thinking she will run away from him)?

 

[Aardvark154]

To be very blunt Andreandi, what type person are you, does your personality shine past your looks, or is what you see what you get?

If you are a decent person who happens to be pretty you will meet the right guy. If on the other hand you are a wounded rattlesnake inside a pretty package - consider what you can do to change so as to make the inside as pretty as the outside.

 

[Brill]

Are you a great cook?
Will you bathe his feet?

I've found homely women prepare the best dinners and will attend to my soles as well.

 

[shack]

It you want to be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So for my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

 

[afterhours]

ability to like ugly women is indeed one of the most important and useful qualities that a North American man can possess

 

[Aardvark154]

Hi thanks for the repy.. I am not bossy etc etc, I do expect manners from them though "please, thank you" .

To my main idea.. Does it go back to the males self-esteem? (thinking she will run away from him)?

From my experience there are at least some men in in their 20's with decent manners.

Perhaps it does have something to do with self-esteem the initial approach is more difficult until he gets to know you. It also I believe has to do with past experience, many "knock dead gorgeous" women have nasty personalities - after a certain time this becomes Pavlovian conditioning.

 

[GrandBlasterK]

Great question. The problem with attractive people is that because they have so many choices it becomes a challenge to settle. The attractive ones (both men and women) are out screwing anything they want and won't settle until they've exhausted all choices, while the ugly ones, who realize they don't have those same array of choices and privileges, would settle at the best opportunity available. It might also come down to sex. Attractive guys probably feel they're doing the ugly girls a favor, so they expect to get more sex from the marriage. Of course, other guys prefer quality over quantity, so they pay top dollar to be with the women they want when they seek sex. The question is, how may times would a man need to have sex with a quality girl before he decides to marry her?
Reminds me of a quote by Charlie from an episode of Two and a Half Men: "for every attractive girl in the world, there's a guy out there who is tired of banging her."

 

[alexmst]

If on the other hand you are a wounded rattlesnake inside a pretty package...

So, Aardvark154, it sounds like you did meet my ex g/f? How is she doing? I haven't spoken to her in years. My initial reaction to send a sympathy card to her fiance when her marriage was announced was supressed in the name of polite society. I just had a bourbon, read the wedding announcement in the paper again and thought 'careful what you wish for Jack, you may just get it. Poor bum'.

Anyway, iit is true a lot of guys I know marry homely girls, so the OP has a point. I find that the reason is the homely girls are nicer to compensate and actually pursue the guy and court him a bit to land him. From experience the attractive girls often don't put out much effort as they don't need to - they can always get dates but can't always get the guy to the church. "Serial Dater' Jennifer Love Hewitt comes to mind - she's always in the tabloids saying she wants to marry and have kids, yet she gets dumped by half of Hollywood. Of course they all want to date her/sleep with her, but they always run when she starts talking weddings. Even the guy who was engaged to her backed out after a year and ran back to his less attractive ex g/f.

I was talking to a friend last week who is dating a homely girl I wouldn't go for in a million years. They are quite affectionate and I asked him if he thought she was hot and he said, after a pause, "Not really, no, but she is nice and loves me, and I can accept that". I always went for the attractive ones which is why I'm still single.

 

[rhuarc29]

The title of your post seems to show that you put too much stock in looks. If men find you arrogant or difficult, they will use that line - "you're too pretty for girlfriend material" - to shut you down gently. Maybe they just don't connect with you, even though you might think so.

It would be difficult to say with any certainty though, not knowing you or the guys you are interested in.

 

[chargerfan]

`So I am just curious. I am in my 20s and I do want to get married in the future. I find myself to be above an average girl... Is that a problem? I've met so many guys who said Im not wife material cause "im too pretty" or crap like that. If you trule connect with her, why find someone else who is lower when its right in front you? I always see the uglier girls get married first, comapred to good looking ones.

(this doesnt intend an exchange, for money or such, just pure love)

lets catch a flick together on a blind date than. I ll drink coke but ill get you a keg of crown royal to bring me up to your standards......

 

[freedom3]

ability to like ugly women is indeed one of the most important and useful qualities that a North American man can possess

Amen. The second most important quality is an affinity for freeloaders.

 

[Greekstar]

"Never marry an ugly woman, they suck the life right outta ya!" Roadhouse

And yes I am embarrassed to quote ROADHOUSE.

 

[Keebler Elf]

It's simple, the guys are intimidated by your looks and/or afraid you'll leave them for somebody better.

Less attractive women also have to try harder to land a guy so the guy may like that effort. I've heard a lot of guys comment about how hot a girl was but she was a lousy fuck in bed (i.e., a "dead fish").

Looks will hook a guy but reeling him in (for the long run) takes effort.

 

[5hummer]

Generally speaking, I find that the 'above attractive' girls have lower self-esteem -- constantly needing attention and drama for fulfillment.
While, the 'below average' women are probably more accepting of their looks and compensate by exploration and education.

 

[HOF]

Hi thanks for the repy.. I am not bossy etc etc, I do expect manners from them though "please, thank you" .

To my main idea.. Does it go back to the males self-esteem? (thinking she will run away from him)?

Guys, why marry the ugly one?
`So I am just curious. I am in my 20s and I do want to get married in the future. I find myself to be above an average girl... Is that a problem? I've met so many guys who said Im not wife material cause "im too pretty" or crap like that. If you trule connect with her, why find someone else who is lower when its right in front you? I always see the uglier girls get married first, comapred to good looking ones.

(this doesnt intend an exchange, for money or such, just pure love)

You're too pretty to marry! Is a nice way of saying "You're too high maintenance"

You seem geniune in asking this question, but are you willing to lower your standards to find true love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py5qAH7wELY&feature=related This guy goes to extraordinary measures to get the girl of his dreams.

Look what happens when they find love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inPnVL41N_c&feature=related

 

[mrcrrm]

I hate to sound cliche but I'm more about the personality fit than the physical attraction. Don't get me wrong, I love showing off a girl on my arm but I get the opportunity to do that maybe 5 or 6 times a year whereas I'd have to go home to my SO every day (assuming I were married or shacked up). Given the choice, I'd rather be happy at home than admiring awe struck colleagues.

 

[fuji]

so many guys who said Im not wife material cause "im too pretty"

Nonsense. Pretty girls get married! I know I married one. You just have to find someone confident enough to be with a pretty girl.

Most likely when people say things like that what they really mean is "I'm not really ready to get married", but they try and put it on you instead.

 

[Brandon123]

`So I am just curious. I am in my 20s and I do want to get married in the future. I find myself to be above an average girl... Is that a problem? I've met so many guys who said Im not wife material cause "im too pretty" or crap like that. If you trule connect with her, why find someone else who is lower when its right in front you? I always see the uglier girls get married first, comapred to good looking ones.

(this doesnt intend an exchange, for money or such, just pure love)

I don't think you will have a problem getting married andreandi.