Guys, why marry the ugly one?

[fuji]

If you stay in the sex trade, you are likely screwing yourself out of a shot at a decent relationship with a normal, boring, loving man

This is exactly why the sex trade pays so well. It's not so much how hard the job is, as how hard it is to deal with the social stigma. This is why there are only a relatively small number of women who engage in it--if the social stigma were removed, lots of women would do it, and prices would come down.

That said not every man in society buys into the stigma, I think if she keeps at it she'll eventually find a guy who is OK with what she does. Certainly, though, it narrows her choices, which is why it pays as much as it does. Move into higher and higher stigmatized jobs, become an escort, and the rate goes up for exactly this reason.

 

[ASYLUM]

My money says you are one of the exceptions to the blather I posted above. You seem to have a pretty smart head on your shoulders; I hope I didn't insult you or anything - sounds like you are in control and will be fine! Probably much better than me lol.

i suppose i am, i am retired from stripping now though and i do feel a sense of relief in some sort of way. i will admit that being in the sex trade is damaging in most or all cases. No man wants to share whats supposed to be his with the rest of the male population as long as they have a few bucks. Most girls refuse to believe this and keep the mentality 'if he loves me he'll understand' understanding is one thing. the emotions that come along with knowing what their sig other is doing is a whole other story. we as humans can only take so much. Girls should really put themselves in their bfs shoes for a second and ask themselves how they would feel if the roles were reversed

 

[afterhours]

This is exactly why the sex trade pays so well. It's not so much how hard the job is, as how hard it is to deal with the social stigma. This is why there are only a relatively small number of women who engage in it--if the social stigma were removed, lots of women would do it, and prices would come down.

That said not every man in society buys into the stigma, I think if she keeps at it she'll eventually find a guy who is OK with what she does. Certainly, though, it narrows her choices, which is why it pays as much as it does. Move into higher and higher stigmatized jobs, become an escort, and the rate goes up for exactly this reason.

i would not give a fuck about a stigma
if I was a female I'd be an SP and then I'd try to marry somebody rich - it's just damn stupid to go to school for years and accumulate all the debts and end up working like a horse

the real issue is - can the girl be trusted?

 

[JustSex]

I've heard a lot of guys comment about how hot a girl was but she was a lousy fuck in bed (i.e., a "dead fish").

Speaking from my own experience, those making that comment are making excuses for the experience they cannot achieve. Hot girls are generally fantastic lovers and are just as excited to please you as you are to please them. Look at the celebrity videos that have leaked out - Pam Anderson, Hilton, etc - do they look like they are cold fish ? I find that less attractive girls are less likely go all out in the sack. Fortunately, I can't speak for the ugly ones.

Umm ok here is my calculation

A high quality female in her 20s say 27yo who would be ok with a guy who is 40yo can have pretty much any male she wants aged 27, 28, ....until 40.( Let's assume that both male and female are in top 5% of their respective age groups in terms of desirability).
Doesn't it mean that a guy in his forties should pretty much beat a hell of a lot of competition to get this girl? How on earth are his chances fair to good?

Simple, confidence ! It is the one intangible ingredient that can leap over a lot of short comings. A lack of confidence is like bad smell, it drives away the sexy and attracts the homely. Who needs a guy who hovers over you like showing a ribbon to fellow nerds and then is insecure about having you ?

If I can quote Harrison Ford in one of his early movies : 'Don't tell me about the odds'

 

[fuji]

i would not give a fuck about a stigma

And no doubt that is exactly how the many fine SP's on terb feel. However, it's not how most women feel. And while many of our fine SP's here in the end found loving husbands, or will, I'm sure that many of them too have encountered the social stigma and had to deal with it.

It's not what YOU think, after all--it's what everybody else thinks of you that makes it hard.

 

[blaze69]

I wouldn't marry a 'hood' girl, sp, mpa, stripper, I don't like entitled princess types, I hate girls that are too into themselves with fashion and whatnot. Those are all red flags too me mainly because I have some money and want to be able to keep it and make it last. All the above scream out that their lifestyle would be more important than our relationship. Been there, done that, fuck that shit!

With strippers in particular, their job is to hustle and talk/seduce men out of their money, so it would be really hard for me to fall in love with a women that I might always be suspect about.

 

[afterhours]

With strippers in particular, their job is to hustle and talk/seduce men out of their money, so it would be really hard for me to fall in love with a women that I might always be suspect about.

I also think that all other things being equal, prostitutes are more trustworthy than strippers.
(Please spare me the sweeping generalizations lecture.)

 

[alexmst]

I also think that all other things being equal, prostitutes are more trustworthy than strippers.

I agree, my experiences have echoed that. Of course no rule of thumb is absolute, but as generalizations go, yes it does seem that way.

 

[canucklehead]

Just marry who you love ... i have always been lucky and all the wives and ex wives and future wives and ex wives have been beautiful and nice ... i am not prize to look at.... but honestly ... most women could not do better to have someone like me love them.... i hear it all the time from my SO or soon to be ex wife's friend that she is so lucky... he does this.. he does that .... he is understanding ... just my 2 cents .... plus having a few bucks here and there makes it easier too.
Like or love me or don't care... for whatever reason it is easy to find good looking girlfriends ... hard to find a partner.

 

[capncrunch]

I don't consider myself a prize looks-wise but I'm responsible, got some $$, and maintain a decent lifestyle most of the time. So from my somewhat limited experience, the super-hot ones tend to be extremely high maintenance. They're always getting hit on in pubs and whatnot. With that hotness (to coin a word) often comes a sense of entitlement. And it's no joke. Good looking people tend to get better jobs, earn more money and are even favoured by the court system. It's even been scientifically studied. See Do Attractive People Get Better Treatment Than Others? Also see, Face Value.

So that sense of entitlement is not without basis.

Remember that old Dr Hook song? When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman... The lyrics are worth reading.

Currently, I'm seeing someone that maybe not at the 10 on the attractiveness scale but we have a good time together, the sex is pretty good and I enjoy her company. And she's got a depth of character that I appreciate.

Why would I give that up to be with a hottie? Well, I wouldn't.

 

[Aardvark154]

i suppose i am, i am retired from stripping now though and i do feel a sense of relief in some sort of way. i will admit that being in the sex trade is damaging in most or all cases. No man wants to share whats supposed to be his with the rest of the male population as long as they have a few bucks. Most girls refuse to believe this and keep the mentality 'if he loves me he'll understand' understanding is one thing. the emotions that come along with knowing what their sig other is doing is a whole other story. we as humans can only take so much. Girls should really put themselves in their bfs shoes for a second and ask themselves how they would feel if the roles were reversed

This answer should be framed. It couldn't be put any better.

 

[blackrock13]

Just marry who you love ... i have always been lucky and all the wives and ex wives and future wives and ex wives have been beautiful and nice ... i am not prize to look at.... but honestly ... most women could not do better to have someone like me love them.... i hear it all the time from my SO or soon to be ex wife's friend that she is so lucky... he does this.. he does that .... he is understanding ... just my 2 cents .... plus having a few bucks here and there makes it easier too.
Like or love me or don't care... for whatever reason it is easy to find good looking girlfriends ... hard to find a partner.

Is that you Larry? I feel your pain.

Sitting in a bar trying to have a quiet drink and you just can't keep the hotties from coming up to you and giving you some line as you lick your eyebrows. It just gets me upset to no end.

 

[ASYLUM]

This answer should be framed. It couldn't be put any better.

took me a looong time to understand that too.

 

[CapitalGuy]

Why would I give that up to be with a hottie? Well, I wouldn't.

That's what SPs are for. They provide balance - your wife/lover/friend/life partner can be only ok looking, and you meet your occasional needs for young/tight/firm sex with a rental hottie. I can't understand why prozzies aren't national treasures - they save marriages FFS!!

 

[Tazz69]

Marriage is not for everyone. That is for sure. I think the ones who want to be married the most are more in love with the idea of marriage. As someone who has been married and divorced twice I might not know what does work but I know a hell of a lot about what does not work. Never marry someone unless you are certain that a) you love them and b) you have had a lengthy amount of time in a positive successful relationship with them. Also never get married if you just think that it is the next logical step in the relationship or if you think it will be the answer to some of relationship struggles you are having. Divorce is painful, messy and very expensive. If you walk down the aisle you have at best a 50-50 chance of it working out.

Anyone can get married but it takes a lot of hard work and relationship skills to stay married. Unfortunately a person's looks, hottness, and success have almost nothing to do with their potential or ability to be a good spouse and/or parent. In fact the higher someone ranks in the former has an inverse probability of how they will rank in the latter. Sorry if that offends but that is my experience with reality. Seems like everyone is after the best looking most successful person they can find. Really it is strength and depth of character, openness and trustworthiness that you will be dealing with for the rest of your life. Add together career stress, bills, health issues and children to the stress mix and you can see that if you married for appearance you are in for a rough ride.

 

[massman]

I think that any conversation about marriage that contains the phrase "you are too pretty to marry" is by definition not a serious conversation about the subject.

No guy would intentionally seek out ugly girls as potential wife candidates.

However all guys (and probably women) want someone who seems compatible wiht them, who they are comfortable bit, and according to their best judgement will continue to be compatible and not make their lives a living hell in years to come.

The OP simply has not met the right guy. as I know nothing about her, I cant comment on her personality traits etc that might be scaring guys off. Maybe as others said the sex trade occupation (if this is the case - assumption) is off putting. that is to be expected. Im a very liberal minded guy who really believes in a live and let live approach to life, but if I was a single guy who met a great girl in the sex biz that was interested in a serious relationship, it would be difficult to get past this - I probably could - but i would worry about it form time to time.

Mainly just be who you are. But also be aware of how you come across to others. Nobody is going to reject you because you are too pretty - more likely it is their issue re unreadiness for committment.

 

[afterhours]

Not if she thinks like you would if you were female!

I never said I would not be loyal

 

[xix]

"Husband Store" - Silly Joke I found.

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a "New wives" store just across the street. Here's what it has.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The content of the 3rd through 6th floors are unknown, as they have never been visited.

 

[spraggamuffin]

Self Esteem and ego of the guy plays a big role. Many guys of little substance but are big in these areas end up with the trophies while guys large on substance but too shy,afraid of rejection, or not as outgoing and hold themselves back mentally aim lower generally or not at all.

A guy who sees you out of reach but then by some miracle attains you could never be sure you are fully attainable for the long haul as the more beautiful you are the more prospects you have lined up and more likely to leave him at the slightest of challenges to the relationship.

Uglier chicks seem more attainable (initially and for the long haul) as they seem to have less prospects/suitors than the hotties.

They may be less intimidating to begin with,quicker for guys to relax with and guys get to examine the personality and other dimensions faster as not as much time is spent as one stagnates on the physical, superficial and exterior.

Eventually one realizes that there are also women with big egos and high self esteem than they have substance to back it up and so a guy could end up with an ugly chick that's also a bitch as one can end up with a beautiful low esteemed hottie that's also a real sweetheart.

 

[bowser]

Everyone is expendable.