Going back to condom use

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SmegHead

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Mar 5, 2003
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My GF and I have been barebacking for a couple of months now since she’s on the pill. I heard a story recently about an acquaintance whose GF decided to get pregnant and went off the pill without telling him. Now he’s going to be stuck with a kid he didn’t want. And lately my GF seems a little too eager that I cum inside her which is making me worry.

Having a kid would seriously derail my future ambitions and I want to regain control of the situation. Is there a way to get back to using a condom without sending the message that I don’t trust her? Any ideas?
 
Sit down with your girlfriend and talk to her about your concern.
 
SmegHead said:
My GF and I have been barebacking for a couple of months now since she’s on the pill. I heard a story recently about an acquaintance whose GF decided to get pregnant and went off the pill without telling him. Now he’s going to be stuck with a kid he didn’t want. And lately my GF seems a little too eager that I cum inside her which is making me worry.
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You have the perfect intro to the subject. Just bring up the situation with your friend, and tell her that type of devious action would cause you to end the relationship. Should clue her in if she has any funny business in mind. And no, I don't believe there's any way to gracefully return to rubbers.
 
Toguy54 said:
You could quote the 5% failure rate and your desire to avoid children until you're ready in your life for them.
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Ditto, also presuming you do feel this way, make clear that is not that you don't want to have children, rather it is the timing.
 
I would basically combine what Toguy and Scarlett have said.

Reaffirm with your GF that you are in no way ready for children and since the pill is not a 100% guarantee, you would prefer to go back to CFS.
 
Tell her you've been seeing hookers and you want to protect her from the chance of contracting any STDs. :rolleyes:

Seriously, talk to her about the future and kids - it will give her a chance to tell you her feelings and you can be honest about your own.
 
If you are uncomfortable with the "accidental" pregnancy scenerio, then there is a lack of trust in the relationship. I would not discuss your feelings about this with gf, as that is as good as undermining the relationship. 5% failure rate is sufficient grounds for use of condom.
shack said:
I would basically combine what Toguy and Scarlett have said.

Reaffirm with your GF that you are in no way ready for children and since the pill is not a 100% guarantee, you would prefer to go back to CFS.
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Yes, except don't say CFS or even refer her to terb thread on acronyms. Just say you want to use a condom.;)
 
Birth Control pills are for THE WOMAN'S peace of mind - IF she wants additional insurance of NOT getting pregnant.

Condoms are for THE MAN'S peace of mind in case he does not trust woman to take the Pills or does not want to totally depend on The Pill's effectiveness.

If you are really both in agreement not to have children at this time, you should really be using at least TWO methods of birth control to guard against one method failling for whatever reason.

Of course vasectomy is even better than condoms but if you're not ready for something that might turn out to be permanent, then condoms for sure.

Besides, if your hobbying includes anything wetter than HJ's & LapDances, you should be using condoms anyway unless she knows about the hobbying and insists she's cool with the bareback anyway.

It's possible she just gets really turned on by the idea of being spunked inside - you would know better than us if that sounds like her - but I wouldn't trust it just yet - if you do, consequences will be your fault.

A woman who is bent on motherhood - either for it's own sake or as a means to nail down a piece of some guy - can be a very determined one-track mind.
 
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A friend of mine was in a similar situation - she wanted kiddos, he wasn't sure. There was no suggestion, in their case, of possible deceit, but let's set that aside for arguments sake. What they did was TALK about it. He was honest with her about the whole thing being scary, and especially scary with career ambitions. She was honest that if the issue was just timing and being a bit scared, well that was natural, but if the issue was 'no kids ever', that was too big an issue. But it worked out. They waited, they continued to revisit the issue, and they now have two kids and all is going swell. True story. So I would just say talk openly with your GF. If it's not the kind of relationship where each of you can be honest about both hopes and fears, which in your case sounds to be wanting to wait for the career to be a bt more solid, then that's not the kind of relationship you really want to bring kids into anyway, right? All that said, it is ultimately true that there is no perfect time for kids (contra the idea that if you have just that little but more money, more job security, more this or that, etc). You have kids with her if you love her, right? Should we really mix that decision up with all the other far more mundane things (career, dollars)? Good luck dude.
 
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