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Surfbum84

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Feb 6, 2008
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Hey friends.

So there's this girl I've been out with a few times. She's awesome...I actually like her and haven't even done her yet. That's rare.

Anyway, she doesn't have much cash she just finished university etc...and she is always feeling guilty when we go out cuz she can't pay for anything (I have no problem footing the bill at all I enjoy spending time with her)

Any ideas for cheap things we can do so she doesn't feel bad about this? I've told her I dont care about money I just like her, but it's still proving difficult to convince her.

I know a lot of you are older than me and have good experience with stuff like this so any help helps.

Thanks
 
Some are dependent on weather but:

Picnics
Go for an afternoon hike
Go for an afternoon bike ride ;)
Skating on a frozen pond (or at a local rink)
Make a snowman
Movie night at home (You may need to rent a "chick flick")
Canoe trip (many companies offering excursions for $50ish)
Game night

To name a few...
 
What's her dollar threshold for feeling guilty?

There is a lot of outdoor stuff to do...if it was July instead of December. Many theatre/plays have a pwyc performance on Sundays. It won't be Princess of Wales Theatre or Phantom of the Opera. I'm talking about smaller alternative theatres.

Bruce Trail hikes...I know, getting a little late for that...but depends on the person. Dress warm and go when the sun is shining. Or wait a couple of months and go snowshoeing.

McMichael Gallery in Kleinburg.

Festival of Lights in Kensington.

Check the "Events listing" in NOW Magazine.
 
Head North and do some bear hunting.
 
Thanks for all your help.

I'm not sure of her dollar threshold. Like the other night we went to a concert *she had free tickets for lady gaga* haha, and I took her for dinner before and stuff and she just felt guilty about it. I asked her out last night to go watch the games and have a few beers and she said "I want to but I am not down with you paying for everything and I just can't afford it right now"

She's a cool girl and I appreciate the gesture but like...it's not an issue for me to pay or take her out cuz I enjoy her company but she doesn't wanna be seen as a "needy bitch" as she says.
 
Cavalcade of Lights @ Nathan Phillips Square...
This weekend December 5:
Performer: Jully Black with a Soul/Funk skating party by DJ Jun
Skating from 10am-10pm, weather permitting, admission is free.
Skate rentals are available for $7.50 for adults. Be prepared to leave a driver's license or major credit card for a deposit...

Surfbum84 RE: I asked her out last night to go watch the games and have a few beers and she said "I want to but I am not down with you paying for everything and I just can't afford it right now"

This could just be her way of telling you to back off without being confrontational...
(meaning going out every once in a while is cool, but, everyday is NOT OK)
 
Try making dinner for her at home, she will be impressed with your cooking skills and she won't see you spend money. She will even think its romantic, don't forget touches like candles. After you can do the chick flick or play games like cards, board games, etc.
 
GDLLover said:
Try making dinner for her at home, she will be impressed with your cooking skills and she won't see you spend money. She will even think its romantic, don't forget touches like candles. After you can do the chick flick or play games like cards, board games, etc.
Click to expand...
That's a GOOD ONE! I forgot about that one... and it works great! (Might wanna choose a meal without a whole lot of garlic though, hee hee)

I did the same on Feb 10th, 1989 for Mrs. CG. ;)

(Ask me how I remember...)
 
Cycleguy007 said:
That's a GOOD ONE! I forgot about that one... and it works great! (Might wanna choose a meal without a whole lot of garlic though, hee hee)

I did the same on Feb 10th, 1989 for Mrs. CG. ;)

(Ask me how I remember...)
Click to expand...
How do you remember that far back?
 
Cycleguy007 said:
Some are dependent on weather but:

Picnics
Go for an afternoon hike
Go for an afternoon bike ride ;)
Skating on a frozen pond (or at a local rink)
Make a snowman
Movie night at home (You may need to rent a "chick flick")
Canoe trip (many companies offering excursions for $50ish)
Game night

To name a few...
Click to expand...

CG, it's a well proven fact that a canoe trip, especially for a first date is a sure fire relationship killer. I've sen it used to kill or cure a relationship and the magic number is '8'. If you can go on an 8 day trip with someone or a small group of friends and still be friends at the end then the relationship is a keeper, but it's not for the weak at heart or new girl/boy friend.

Because of it's world renown diversity, TO has an incredible selection of restaurants to fit any budget or tastes. Find out what she likes or what she'd like to try but hasn't and go. If she or you are homebodies look at having a chef cook at home for you. Even better go to a cooking class, it's buzz and if you both have a sense of adventure and don't want something too serious or typical, go for it.

A new skating facility is to be built on the old hospital grounds near Humber Collage Lakeshore Campus with a winding ice trail through the woods. It sure beats going around and around at your local hockey rink.
 
Surfbum84 said:
Hey friends.

So there's this girl I've been out with a few times. She's awesome...I actually like her and haven't even done her yet. That's rare.

Anyway, she doesn't have much cash she just finished university etc...and she is always feeling guilty when we go out cuz she can't pay for anything (I have no problem footing the bill at all I enjoy spending time with her)

Any ideas for cheap things we can do so she doesn't feel bad about this? I've told her I dont care about money I just like her, but it's still proving difficult to convince her.

I know a lot of you are older than me and have good experience with stuff like this so any help helps.

Thanks
Click to expand...

When thinking of dates it's a matter of time or money or both. If money is scarce figure out what she likes, figure out what you'll tolerate, and go do that. A very easy way to do this is using sites like Toronto.com (They even have a 'free only' option) and just doing anything free or cheap that comes up. Follow that up with a something else and you have 'date in a can'.

As long as you pick things that she likes and that you'll tolerate, and follow it up with one other thing (food probably) you should be good. That's one way things like Toronto.com have really made life simpler. (There are other sites that do the same.) You can often line up a whole night for little more than the cost of transit and the food you cook and a bottle of wine. If you can't cover that you're in real trouble. It's just a matter of research...

Right now city hall is all lit up. You should see what's going on there and at the harbour front on Fridays and Saturdays. After that you can warm up together and sip some wine.
 
Grab a copy of NOW , a free paper, and over a 'cuppa' go through it and see what catches her eye OR yours. It could even be a walk through Yorkville watching the beautuful people or window shopping and grab a bite or whatever at one of the small restaurants. Try the Distillery Area for the same reasons.

I'm used to it from Gyass by now, but PS you disappoint me a bit. 84's asking a serious question and the first thing from you is really useful, NOT. Again on a first date is not a good thing. Remember a recent thread.
 
Be respectful of her feelings.

Even though you may be happy to pay for things, if she's feeling diminished because she's not in a position to reciprocate then your paying for things (or even choosing things that cost money) will be draining to her and a strain on the relationship.

Ask her to teach you how to not let money get in the way of a good time. Have some ideas yourself of things that you want to do that don't cost much - maybe a walk on the pier, followed by a cup of coffee at a cafe, and maybe whatever movie is on TV later.

But when it comes to spending money, think about the date as if she is paying half, and then stop acting as if you're trying to drain her wallet. I know you're not asking her to pay half, but that's the mentality you need to be able to get to. And then, on a special occasion you can treat her to something really special.
 
Surfbum84 said:
Thanks for all your help.

I'm not sure of her dollar threshold. Like the other night we went to a concert *she had free tickets for lady gaga* haha, and I took her for dinner before and stuff and she just felt guilty about it. I asked her out last night to go watch the games and have a few beers and she said "I want to but I am not down with you paying for everything and I just can't afford it right now"

She's a cool girl and I appreciate the gesture but like...it's not an issue for me to pay or take her out cuz I enjoy her company but she doesn't wanna be seen as a "needy bitch" as she says.
Click to expand...

I think we may be dating the same girl. I'm not actually joking here! When I read your first post, and then this above....I'm kinda convinced!

I'm also seeing a girl who just graduated from school, and is in a lot of debt. Same as you.

She went to the Lady Gaga concert on Saturday, with some mystery guy who she may work with, but I'm not sure. And, he took her out for dinner before the show. And if it the same girl, you didn't see her last night cos I took her out for dinner.

What are the chances?!?!?!?! Probably not...but, I guess you never know?! What if its the same girl?!
 
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