I'm a 22 year old dude that fell in love with an escort. I'm an emotionally damaged person(deal with depression and anxiety) and I've blown thousands on this "hobby" for years to escape from my personal issues. I saw my first escort when I was 18. I started seeing a girl last year and over time I fell for her. I spent hours and months seeing her regularly.She helped with my emotional issues and so I kept seeing her. I spent all my savings on her like an idiot. She obviously did not feel the same way. I even thought she genuinely cared about me lol but it was obviously all about money and the moment I ran out of money, she stopped texting me and pretending to care lol. The whole time she pretended to really care about me and told me she doesn't care about money. She would say we're "friends" and that she genuinely cares.That was obviously not true lol. Anyways, I know she's a provider and she is not in the wrong here. She is here to sell a fantasy and I bought into it. I am the idiot here. I'm NOT a stalker nor a creep so I'm NOT going to cause any harm to this girl in any way.I will not EVER disclose her name or anything of that sort. I know that I don't deserve anything other than the time I pay for. I'm just here looking for suggestions on how I can deal with this hurt that I'm going through. Also, I know I'm an idiot for getting into this hobby at such a young age especially since I can't even afford it. I've gone into debt doing this and I'm left feeling hurt and heartbroken. I welcome any advice and criticism. I want you guys to tell me how stupid I am so I never do this again. This hobby has turned into an addiction and I don't wanna do this anymore especially not while I'm young. I'm a university student in a respectable program so I am doing something productive with my life and I have my shit together in other aspects of my life(work, school) so I'm not a complete loser lol. I started dealing with depression and anxiety while I was in school and ever since then, I've used this hobby as a coping mechanism. I am too afraid to date girls in real life even though I'm a good looking and funny guy( as I've been told my many people). Please help me. Please offer some advice. Tell me how stupid I am so my sex addicted brain can stop doing this and go chase after real women.
Fell in Love/Lust with an escort. Young sex addict
- Thread starter gabelogan
- Start date
I think you should stay away from women for a while and see a therapist for your issues.
Yes-you were stupid to think an escort really cared about you.
Please post the link to her profile. Thanks.
Dude! Feed your addiction, if it makes you happy. Finish your studies, make a lot of cash and keep on hiring prostitutes. Just don't fall in love with them- that's stupid! Life is too damn short for regrets and denying yourself pleasure. Besides, the paid pussy does wonders for the schedule as it occupies very little time when compared to the "normal" relationship, leaving you with tons of time for other pursuits.
LMAO. I'm not here to "expose" anyone. So no, I will not do that.
First off, congrats for accurately recognising the problem. As i say all the time, this hobby is like WWE pro wrestling - do not ask if it is real, only ask if you were entertained. Understand that. Her job is to provide companionship and she clearly met your physical and emotional "entertainment" needs, but remember, it is an illusion. Like a movie. You did not storm Normandy on Omaha beach with Tom Hanks (i.e., saving private ryan) lol. Similarly, you did not just pick up a hot woman at a bar and bone her.
This is an addiction, every bit as strong as alcoholism or gambling. You may have to drop it cold turkey.
You should "coffee date". Meet women just for conversation. Make that the goal. If you're "hoping to score" you'll strike out more often than not, and that will add to your anxiety. Thus if you remove sex/full on relationship as your goal you remove a lot of pressure. Let the lady know you've been shy around women and enjoy meeting and chatting w interesting ladies. Who knows, maybe something will happen. But remove it as your end goal. Often anxiety happens as you become a prisoner and victim of your own standards or beliefs and fears. So change them, build up your interpersonal game without pressuring yourself too much. Good luck!
P.s. if that can't work please see a health care professional. Bankrupting yourself is definitely a negative outcome.
This is an addiction, every bit as strong as alcoholism or gambling. You may have to drop it cold turkey.
You should "coffee date". Meet women just for conversation. Make that the goal. If you're "hoping to score" you'll strike out more often than not, and that will add to your anxiety. Thus if you remove sex/full on relationship as your goal you remove a lot of pressure. Let the lady know you've been shy around women and enjoy meeting and chatting w interesting ladies. Who knows, maybe something will happen. But remove it as your end goal. Often anxiety happens as you become a prisoner and victim of your own standards or beliefs and fears. So change them, build up your interpersonal game without pressuring yourself too much. Good luck!
P.s. if that can't work please see a health care professional. Bankrupting yourself is definitely a negative outcome.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Glad you recognize that.
Find a good therapist and find a few hobbies(golfing,gym,woodworking) to keep you occupied.
Dealing with depression and anxiety on top of that add in addiction to escorts at a young age is recipe for disaster.
I always advise newbies specially younger people to make sure they are financially stable before seeing escorts as this is an expensive hobby, and also make sure their personal social skills, meeting and dating women in your civie life comes first and is healthy before seeing escorts.
My suggestion is to stop seeing escorts all together and get professional help, once you have a healthy dating/love life, the financial resources available and are using this as a coping mechanism you can always come back and see escorts.
Dude I really wish I could. Seeing escorts makes me feel amazing. No other feeling compares in my mind. The main problem is the financial aspect. I don't wanna go bankrupt doing this. I have financial goals and want to save and invest my money. Also, I don't wanna hinder my personal growth and miss out on dating and developing real relationships because of this hobby. But I agree with you about finishing school and making a ton of cash one day so I can responsibly finance this hobby. Thanks for your input
Your personal growth re. the "real" relationships is gone. The pay for play will always be at the back of your mind, always waiting, inviting and you will act on it. Make peace with it and acknowledge it as your go to entertainment. Do it now, not after 20 years of suffering and another fortune in shrink's fees.
You are still young and as long as you know the truth, you are good. You can always make or save your money again.
I fall in love with sex workers all the time especially with MPAs and Escorts so this is a great thread for me to add my two cents in.
I love sex workers. When I book with an MPA or an Escort I want them to make me fall in love with them because that’s what makes sex sooooo much better. I’m not into having sex with women like we are some lifeless zombies. I love passionate sex with a lot of kissing and moaning and Lots and lots of kissing and moaning.
The ENTIRE point of me hobbying (Seeing SPs especially) is that they don’t HAVE to like me when I spend time with them which would be something that is paramount in dating a civilian. I honestly couldn’t care less if they like me or not, as long as I like them.
So if you are entering this hobby hoping an escort would like you, forget it because they don’t think like that (Which is totally fine).
I love sex workers. Thank goodness for sex workers. They have giving me more of themselves than any other women that I had a romantic/sexual interest in.
I get to have sex with them and not worry about whether they like me or not. I’m living my teenage dream.
Don’t worry about escorts liking you. They are honestly not built like that.
I love sex workers. When I book with an MPA or an Escort I want them to make me fall in love with them because that’s what makes sex sooooo much better. I’m not into having sex with women like we are some lifeless zombies. I love passionate sex with a lot of kissing and moaning and Lots and lots of kissing and moaning.
The ENTIRE point of me hobbying (Seeing SPs especially) is that they don’t HAVE to like me when I spend time with them which would be something that is paramount in dating a civilian. I honestly couldn’t care less if they like me or not, as long as I like them.
So if you are entering this hobby hoping an escort would like you, forget it because they don’t think like that (Which is totally fine).
I love sex workers. Thank goodness for sex workers. They have giving me more of themselves than any other women that I had a romantic/sexual interest in.
I get to have sex with them and not worry about whether they like me or not. I’m living my teenage dream.
Don’t worry about escorts liking you. They are honestly not built like that.
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I’ve never fallen in love with an escort but I’ve liked some more than others and wanted to become friends, some did become friends but most make it clear that our relationship is business.
get your shit together...get a decent job to finance your needs (first)..get a new hobby...(fishing / mtb) they are expensive too but if you invest fully in it...you won't be spending $$ everyday ( if that's how much you frequent a provider)...you will be spending more time in the wilderness and outdoors. This COVID has got me saved up nicely I was able to afford a decent mountain bike and a new fly rod and reel. Fishing is a good mental therapy...mountain biking is great physical...don't get me wrong...I'd still hobby once this pandemic is done...but i've mellowed down because of my other hobbies.
Be thankful you learned this lesson early. The profession is just entertainment, there’s no substance to it.
You can’t make a ho a housewife. It’s impossible.
Take a step back, work on your friendships with other people and when you return to hobbying you will do so with a clearer perspective
You can’t make a ho a housewife. It’s impossible.
Take a step back, work on your friendships with other people and when you return to hobbying you will do so with a clearer perspective
Thank you for your advice. That does seem like a good start for someone like me with anxiety and self esteem issues.
Firstly, reading your posts - I think you have a Personality Disorder; you need a Psychiatrist.
Secondly, you said you went into debt....please don't tell me you are taking Cash Advances on your Credit Card in order to finance this....if you did, you are doubly stupid.
Finally, (and I'm saying this from personal experience) - once you start doing this, you don't want to date and have real relationships. You feel amazing because you are chasing a dopamine rush through your orgasm. Seeing escorts is quick and easy and gets you your fix. It's the same as an opiod addict injecting Heroin into his veins.
So, here is your action plan:
- Pay off all your fucking debt....start with the most expensive debt (higher interest rate) first, and work down from there
- Get therapy
- Finish your schooling and focus on getting a sustainable income....job market is going to be a little choppy for the next 1 or 2 years
- You must save 10% of what you earn....and put that in two separate savings account....one "rainy day" fund and one "hooker" fund....only see escorts when you have the cash to do so...DO NOT put yourself in debt again over this
I'm just looking forward to graduating school so I can focus more on my interpersonal growth . I'm in a really academically challenging program so a lot of my time is spent studying. Plus my depression and anxiety make it hard for me to have a life outside of School even though I do have friends. I'll be wrapping up school soon and I can't wait to start living life again. I agree with what you've said.I will make it a priority to make sure I'm stable in all aspects of my life before I engage in this hobby again. Thanks for your input
If this is your goal...make sure you follow through...invest on this. get a decent car...you will meet a few people attending programs and don't go hunting for them...let them come...I'm just looking forward to graduating school so I can focus more on my interpersonal growth . I'm in a really academically challenging program so a lot of my time is spent studying. Plus my depression and anxiety make it hard for me to have a life outside of School even though I do have friends. I'll be wrapping up school soon and I can't wait to start living life again. I agree with what you've said.I will make it a priority to make sure I'm stable in all aspects of my life before I engage in this hobby again. Thanks for your input
