Fell hard for a SP, now I'm screwed...
- Thread starter Mattman
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OP, you said it yourself, break up with your ex left an emotional void in you and SP filled that void. Unfortunately you didn't let one wound heal before venturing out.
You need to give yourself time to heal spiritually and emotionally. Also, keep in mind the fact, that SPs are professionals who provide us with a fantasy and lying is a part of it. It's a part of a package.
Your unfortunate mistake also serves as a reminder to everyone else who hobbies what happens when one goes down the rabbit hole.
Good luck to you OP and hope you'll be able to figure things out rather sooner than later.
You need to give yourself time to heal spiritually and emotionally. Also, keep in mind the fact, that SPs are professionals who provide us with a fantasy and lying is a part of it. It's a part of a package.
Your unfortunate mistake also serves as a reminder to everyone else who hobbies what happens when one goes down the rabbit hole.
Good luck to you OP and hope you'll be able to figure things out rather sooner than later.
Thanks for all the great feedback.
As of now, I've deleted all messages and her contact info. I'm doing the hard thing and stopping all communications.
As of now, I've deleted all messages and her contact info. I'm doing the hard thing and stopping all communications.
This thread comes up pretty often, and there's always a lot of advice given but this post is probably the most insightful one that I've seen and it captures it very well. Good job on deleting messages and contact info OP, stay strong. You got this.
Had a few prostitutes, and if you knew the truth
They're like pimps, you can't let em do it to you!
She ain't no sucker, I know that bitch, man
She wanna be a Pretty Woman lovin' a rich man
Now here you come, drop top ridin'
You ain't no pimp, fake nigga, stop lyin'
Pussy makes money, stick to the business
Think about the real motherfuckers that lived it
Street life, pimp shit, make the ho respect the game
You bought her diamonds and cars, trick, that's a shame
Say what you want, but I still figure
She left you 'cause you couldn't be like them real niggas
She was a hustler by nature and you was just faker
Than the average simps, found a badder pimp
-Too $hort.
Honestly, if you were "dating" an escort from Leolist, I'd highly consider getting an alarm system and keeping a weapon close by at night.
You have no clue who she really is and who she is associated with. You have to value your safety and move smart.
You have no clue who she really is and who she is associated with. You have to value your safety and move smart.
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Don't be too hard on yourself or her. Chances are she was as conflicted about the situation as you were. It is hard to develop trust in a situation like this.
You both took a chance. If it did not work out, it is not the end of the world for any of you.
You both took a chance. If it did not work out, it is not the end of the world for any of you.
Not really solution. You need to change your number and delete hers. It is called the final solution.
No temptation on your part nor closet ghosts coming back to haunt you
You ain't a loser unless you wrote her a big cheque.
You're a winner. You had some great sex. You had some thrills and excitement outside the bedroom. She thought you were worthwhile to spend time with and chat to, even if she wasn't 100% honest.
So walk away proud. You did just fine. And you're not the first or last guy who this happened to. We've all been there.
It won’t be as hard to move on as you think.
I fell in love with my fav, but had no illusions.
I still care for her and wish her all the best.
best way to move in is variety. I saw a hundred other escorts, of all types and nationalities. I don’t miss her anymore. I even came across her LL ad and didn’t even know she was still working. She’s still touring and I hope she’s well.
I’ve got other new favs now. I have a favourite 5 or 6, but still like the variety.
I've been drinking so take this FWIW.
Appreciate how good it was when it was, now move on.
Appreciate how good it was when it was, now move on.
Put a ring on it and have a baby. That will solve everything
You dodged a bullet here. Not only with the lying, but her flipping things around on you and making you the bad guy. That’s gaslighting, and it’s emotional abuse. If you stayed in it would get worse and would fuck with your head even more.
Who knows what here motives were. It doesn’t really matter. You did see a red flag here, and you should pay attention to it. Trust me, being in a relationship with a gaslighter sucks, and it doesn’t get better.
As the others have said, cut your losses, get out and block her number. It hurts now because you still have the emotions, but they will decrease with time and distance and some perspective.
It feels like shit at first when you lose something like this, even if that loss is for absolutely the right reasons. It’s the loss of the connection, the attraction, but also the disappointment that she didn’t turn out as perfect as the image you had in your mind. You may even feel duped. That always improves with time. Enjoy the memories of the fun you had, and take satisfaction that you got out of a potentially toxic relationship.
Definitely agree about the emotional connection bit. Beyond the sex, one of the most important things that will make me repeat with a girl is some kind of connection beyond the physical. If she’s an interesting and funny and cool person to talk to, that is what I look for. I’m not really into having sex with someone who I don’t like as a person. Any girl that I’ve seen regularly, has this quality and I do have a sort of emotional connection that way, but it’s got to be kept realistic, and realizing the limits. You can like each other, but it’s a friendly business arrangement.
Not knowing the exact details about the “lies” it’s hard to say that this was just acting / performing, trying to fulfil his fantasy in her sp role. But it sounds like she was interested and participated in a more than client / sp relationship, and encouraged that. In the context of that relationship she lied multiple times, to the point where she even mixed up/confused her own lies. Then when this was brought up, she turns the tables on him and makes him the bad guy. I’ve experienced this before in relationships. I bet she not only denied lying, or even saying any of it and it went “I can’t believe you think that little of me that I would lie to you, you don’t respect me as a person and are just taking advantage of my emotions and using me for free sex.” Or “you must be either making this up to hurt me or you are crazy or something”. Classic gaslighting. I bet most of the little white lies were constructed to make her look good too. It’s not just lying, it’s manipulation. It’s a mind fuck, and it messes with your head. Keeping you off kilter, second guessing yourself. Been there done that. It’s a huge red flag that I’ve missed at the beginning of a relationship before, and it doesn’t get better. You make excuses for it because you feel you love them, and they further entangle you and fuck with your sanity.
The OP has done the right thing and dodged a major bullet here.
