Fell hard for a SP, now I'm screwed...

[Mattman]

I know I broke the number 1 rule, but I'm emotionally hooked on a SP. I'm sure I'll get blasted on here. I just need to vent and let it out.

Little back story, me and the ex have been done for several months now. Have been out of the dating game for years, so I ventured to LL for some attention. To my surprise, I fell emotionally attached to a certain SP. I've seen her on a weekly basis (1 or 2 hours at a time) for several months now. Things were going good, she said she wanted to see me outside of a client role.

I figured I scored the jackpot. Texting each other regularly and chatting about each others personal lives. And then I started catching her on lies, multiple lies. To the point where she even gets confused with her lies. Sure their were a few red flags but nothing too alarming. The shit really hit the fan when I called her out on a few things. She then completely flipped the script on me and now I was the bad guy. I was now the one using her. Never have I asked her to do anything out of her comfort zone. I only had the out most respect for her.

What I can't wrap my head around is what her motive was? Lead me on the way she did with all these fake promises. I would have been just as happy staying a client. Now we're beyond just clients and can't go back.

The end result, I'm emotionally attached to her and are just texting now. So we both loss in the end. Can't stop thinking about her.

Any words of wisdom?

 

[trm]

Stop all contact with her. It will be hard at first but you cannot have an unhealthy relationship like this. Regardless of her motive, the lies prove she never felt anything for you and saw you as a sucker she could use. Get over it and move on.

 

[Jenesis]

Block and move on. This is something that can happen with anyone. Plenty of people lie. Don’t know why but they do. Not something only escorts will do. Others on here will say differently of course.

Without knowing the lies, they could have been ones she said in her “escort” role and now that you are not a client, the true personal truths come out.

My name is not Jenesis, so if I went personal, I would give my own personal name. Is it a lie? I guess, but is it understandable

 

[unassuming]

How are you screwed??, forget her and move on!

 

[boomboom]

Agree
Rip the bandaid off & move on....
Learn from this.

 

[jcpro]

We have all been there, so don't beat yourself up(although you might have to). Her motivation was cash and stringing you along as long as possible because regulars are gold. Next time get two or three regulars and alternate. Also it's a good idea to see random girls on a whim or visit massage places, from time to time. Most importantly, always assume that you're being lied to, but(and this is the important part), the moment you actually catch your regular in straight up dishonesty, never, ever see her again- that means that she has the hooks in you and she'staking you for granted. We all are but marks in their ledgers- reciprocate. Happy hunting.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

If you love her you will let her go because you will realize both are better off without each other.

Don’t believe what majority on here think, they are just scared of love and hurt.

I you can’t do this you will learn the hard way what this means to your well being, your life emotional state etc. It will just spiral downward.

Just let her go and start dating other women, eventually you will form other connections regardless of where you met and your expectations.

 

[Jenesis]

Remember as well, if she was lying then you “fell” for an illusion, not her. If you make your brain think that way, if may help you walk away easier. Go look for what you actually fell for, not the illusion painted by the escort.

A lot of guys fall into this trap because you fall for the fantasy we provide. We give you all of the good and none of the bad. It is easy to fall for that. It is the reason I use the industry for companionship. I get none of your bad issues, baggage and habits. I don’t deal with your shit. You don’t deal with mine. It is great.

It is not to say she is fake when she sees you, but you don’t get the flaws of the lady which we all have. We are human. When you go personal, you get to see the human. When you pay, you get the illusion.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Remember as well, if she was lying then you “fell” for an illusion, not her. If you make your brain think that way, if may help you walk away easier. Go look for what you actually fell for, not the illusion painted by the escort.

A lot of guys fall into this trap because you fall for the fantasy we provide. We give you all of the good and none of the bad. It is easy to fall for that. It is the reason I use the industry for companionship. I get none of your bad issues, baggage and habits. I don’t deal with your shit. You don’t deal with mine. It is great.

It is not to say she is fake when she sees you, but you don’t get the flaws of the lady which we all have. We are human. When you go personal, you get to see the human. When you pay, you get the illusion.

This is true plus people think love is exclusive. You can fall in love even under the guise of lies and fantasy. Just because they fall doesn’t mean they won’t fall again. I think the problem is that when they do feel it they think it will never happen again and try to hang on to it like gollum and ring. We all know how well that turned out for him. You can’t control love or else it will corrupt you. If they can’t understand they will learn the hard way. I think once you realize it’s toxic even under the guise of fantasy it’s always best just keep moving on.

 

[Mattman]

I get that's the obvious course of action I need to take. Block and move on.

I'm screwed in the sense that I'm emotionally attached.

Thanks for the feedback

 

[Jenesis]

I get that's the obvious course of action I need to take. Block and move on.

I'm screwed in the sense that I'm emotionally attached.

Thanks for the feedback

You’re not screwed. You just need to grieve the loss of the relationship like anything you lose in life.

Once you get to the acceptance stage, you will look back at this and laugh at why you thought moving on would be such an issue.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I get that's the obvious course of action I need to take. Block and move on.

I'm screwed in the sense that I'm emotionally attached.

Thanks for the feedback

I think you messed up when you called her up on her lies when your relationship was based and started on lies and fantasy. Also everyone lies even people to themselves many times a day without realizing it. Also people are irrational and all that. If her way of life, lifestyle and personality bothered you to the point where you felt like you needed to control her or call her out then it was lust and NOT love. Also unless she is being abusive to you blocking sounds immature and something that you need to control you. I would’t block unless she was crossing the lines.

 

[Valcazar]

I get that's the obvious course of action I need to take. Block and move on.

I'm screwed in the sense that I'm emotionally attached.

Thanks for the feedback

You're screwed in the sense that no version of this isn't going to hurt.
But as people have said, you've already seen the situation pretty clearly from what you've said.
You cut loose, grieve some, and move on.

There isn't really a shortcut to that process, although there are better and worse ways to move through it. (And those are fairly idiosyncratic to you so no one here is going to have the magic formula.)

Good luck.
I wish you all the strength you need.

 

[Insidious Von]

Worst mistake you could possibly make, Julie Roberts is full of shit and can't act.

 

[Sonic Temple]

Alot of great advice on this thread, and agree - you have to move on a drop all communication - you need to ghost. Good luck mate - I know its easier to say the works but you have no other choice. Hope you return with a healthy mind set.

 

[csmitting]

Move on.

 

[kherg007]

I've fallen dozens of times. For some reason, we get tired and break up after an hour or two of romance. Can't quite figure it out....lol

In all seriousness, think of this sp world like pro WWE wrestling. To ask if it is real is to ask the wrong question. Only ask if you were entertained. Full stop. A great provider makes you feel special. Enjoy it. And, she might even like you, but like a great work colleague, not like a real bf. Know that and you'll be much happier.

This situation just end it. Be gentle, let her know you enjoyed her but you're not compatible and wish her well. Then stop all contact.

Also, you might be extra vulnerable given the recent breakup of a few months ago. Go easy on yourself. Visit another lady to help clear your mind.

 

[Valcazar]

Also, you might be extra vulnerable given the recent breakup of a few months ago. Go easy on yourself.

This is an important point.

 

[richaceg]

motive? your pocket...the only think that worked dating an SP was knowing her not because of her work....

 

[poker]

First…. Don’t beat yourself yourself too bad. We were designed with needs, and feelings. It happens.

Second. You already know the answer. You were the one who told us. Trust your instincts.

I fell hard for an SP about 12 or 13 years ago. I was married with kids. House was paid off. But my life was in a rut. Boring. Routine. And she was charming, and sexy…. I lost everything!

No, it’s not easy. But find someone, or something else to think about. Take a class. Learn violin. Join a militia and overthrow the government. Something other than her.

And be prepared. She will contact you. She will play up nice, and then ask for something.
“Can’t right now, I got some other shit going on”…. Or “please don’t make it this harder than it is…”. Or even a trusted favourite, “fuck off. Seriously.”