falling in love with an SP.

[Catherine]

Separating the "biz" from the "intimacy" is sometimes hard, for both parties. It is very important to set bounderies and then not allow yourself to cross them.

All relationships have risks and obsticles, but the sp/client turned gf/bf has more. I believe it is possible to fall in love with a sp/client, but after being burned twice I really have to state my reservations to anyone considering making this transition.

Catherine
xoxoxoxox

 

[Ophelia Black]

Hmmmm...don't think I'll be cleaning up on Valentine's cards this year...

Please understand I'm not directing this at you personally hdog, but I think what you say sums up how a lot of guys feel in this situation, so I'm using the quotes as a point of departure. So 'you' is guys in general, who might be thinking this way.

"I would hope she would be honest with me but I wouldn't want her to be angry with me."

That can't be an honest reaction if getting angry is not welcome. An honest reaction is what she truly feels; not what you would prefer to hear.

"Although I guess if she was angry that would make it pretty easy to get over her."

Which meant it was a fantasy, not love, that evaporated as soon as reality slapped you upside the head; ie. she has a life of her own - priorities, goals, and feelings that are none of your business.

This is the number one problem area for me with escorting - if I really do my job well, I get punished by people who start pushing my boundaries, thinking I misled them (maybe I should just lay there next time? or take DFK off the menu?) or decide to stalk me.

By the by, I feel exactly the same way about women who get involved with married men who make it very clear that they will not be leaving their wives and family - but who get all bent out of shape when they find out that's exactly what he meant.

If you aren't up for truth, you damn sure aren't up for love.

 

[Marshall Stack]

Re: Hmmmm...don't think I'll be cleaning up on Valentine's cards this year...

This is the number one problem area for me with escorting - if I really do my job well, I get punished by people who start pushing my boundaries, thinking I misled them (maybe I should just lay there next time? or take DFK off the menu?) or decide to stalk me.

By the by, I feel exactly the same way about women who get involved with married men who make it very clear that they will not be leaving their wives and family - but who get all bent out of shape when they find out that's exactly what he meant.

If you aren't up for truth, you damn sure aren't up for love.

Ophelia? You nailed it.

With all due respect to all who have posted here, and as difficult as it may be for a select few to accept this (again, no disrespect), it is indeed a sad reality and a no win situation for many escorts in the biz, especially for those who do their job exceptionally well.

 

[domlover]

I guess you

Well in my case it was the women who came forward with her feelings........hmmmm four years later, one very rewarding relationship I have no regrets nor does she. Love comes from many places and regardless if you keep DFK on or take it off your menu of services you feel what you feel......

With anything feelings need to grow, and I am sure that any one person tells you that they are in love with you just from your bedroom activity I think is missing a great deal and may not know what love is.......

So for that OB if these customers are telling you this without togetherness outside your business relationship I would RUN.....

 

[Ophelia Black]

"As for the the lady having feelings, goals etc. that is "none of our business" well sometimes they actually tell us those things."

Very true. I think I have a responsibility to not do things like bitch about my relationships or money troubles - many decent men have a bit of 'white knight' in them, and I think it's inconsiderate and obnoxious to trigger that when there are a myriad of less volatile things to chat about.

"Not all the guys that have fallen for sps are stalker types."

True again...unfortunately, sometimes it only takes one.

As you may be able to tell...I can't figure out how to get the nifty quotes thing to work - I have tried, and used to use them on PERB, but no luck...no smilies work for me either...

 

[boyr]

Should I ever develop feelings for an escort and tell her so, I would not want to see her as an escort again regardless if she felt the same way or not. I would hope she would be honest with me but I wouldn't want her to be angry with me. Although I guess if she was angry that would make it pretty easy to get over her.

I concur.........

 

[boyr]

i had a SP give me her home and personal cell number and tell me she really would like to spend some time with me in the real world......... I like her a lot as we have great conversations well after the hour sometimes for two or three hours just cuddling and the odd 2nd and 3rd shot on goal. Plus she never charges me for more then the hour nor will she take more. She tells me she has such a good time she feels guilty taking the money but works for an agency. She has bought me watches and cologne without me asking.
I think she really likes me i am not sure because of the business. I just need someone to say trust her and i am on my way.
What should i do? I think i know but i need a kick....

Go for it but don't expect for it to last...Enjoy the present......

 

[boyr]

Falling in love with an SP?

Are you asking yourselves for self-inflicting wounds?

Falling in love with an SP is NEVER a good idea. Like many users say before. This is pure a business transaction. What really count is money or I would say the redistribution of wealth. Put it this way, the hobbyists are cash cows in the eyes of the SPs and their bosses.

There is a big difference between intimacy and infactuation.

I am not so sure the so-called emotion safety zone for the SP. But I am pretty sure that many if not all SP are very cool-headed and they don't believe any shred of craps the hobbyists say.

Many SPs regardless of their ages are well-schooled and have seen all those BS, including the hobbyists so-called "affection" to themselves. That is the due or price one SP has to pay to earn a fast trek decent livihood. The price can be steep since many SPs would find it hard to trust any "decent" men.

But again when the SP achieves financial independence, why would she need to find a man to spend the rest of her life with?

The best way one can cope is thinking of seeing a SP as trading shares like Nortel or Intel, blue-chips for those high mileage gorgeous SPs. As many financial advisers use to say never fall in love with the stock you own, always take the profit and leave.

One should have this kind of mentality when you deal with the SP. You get the "capital gain" when you get the best service money can buy and you "take the profit" to move on when you sense the danger of getting emotionally involved.

But again many speculators do not heed such advice.

Because some of us are blind and hard headed.........

 

[Meesh]

Re: Re: falling in love with an SP.

Falling in love with an SP?

4 words to respond to that:

DONT BE A SUCKER


GB

The amount of respect that comment shows that you have for SP's is astounding.

</sarcasm>

 

[boyr]

Separating the "biz" from the "intimacy" is sometimes hard, for both parties. It is very important to set bounderies and then not allow yourself to cross them.

All relationships have risks and obsticles, but the sp/client turned gf/bf has more. I believe it is possible to fall in love with a sp/client, but after being burned twice I really have to state my reservations to anyone considering making this transition.

Catherine
xoxoxoxox

U r right to mean that "boundaries should be set and not crossed ". This was my mistake before and I learned from that mistake. Me, who has this feelings and the other, who just want me to remain "her client" because of financial needs. For me then, it was not the right thing to do anymore. I had this "guilty feelings" of using her body and pay her for sex. Maybe, I could have sex with her, but I could "share" my money as a "friend"/or whatever and not as "paying for sex". Sometimes, I don't need to have sex with her to share my money. It was a make believe, a FANTASY or Maybe she was afraid, that someday she would fall for me or just fell for me already or she thought I just wanted sex for free. That sort of things. Wishful thinking.....

 

[rdhaired_vixen]

http://www.exxxotican.com/redhairedvixen/

so mnay of you are right. i have dated "playdates" soem thought it was an adventure where we sit around all day with other girls playing with ourselves.. they were wrong.. and others the pressure of business just didnt help.. others it was feelings werent returned.. it really does ruin the illusion and fantasy...keep it flying by keep seeign her as an sp..

 

[SirPlaya]

sp or not to sp lol

Herd a story out of the Falls..
Guy met girl ...girl tell's guy she loves him...
It's a great day, but he finds out 3 months into this new life ....
She lied and did not tell him about her part time world .....
A PRO



Poor fuker


LOL

Sounds like a real nice girl !!!!

 

[WhaWhaWha]

The day I meet an SP who makes me fall in love within the confines of a paid session, is the day I start tipping...

 

[4leafclover]

Falling for a sp, in most cases, is a big mistake.
A sp that is any good, must be a very good actor. Most men, including me, can't tell the difference if she is very good. She will make you feel like you are the most romantic, good looking, sexy man she has ever met.
Let's make this short. I fell in love with her, moved in with her and her son. Payed off her delinquent mortgage payments, all other bills, etc. She quit this job during this process. Lived with her for 5 months. Asked her when are you going to get a regular job? I was paying for my home plus expences, plus her home and expences. Money got tight.
She said, why don't I start doing what I was doing? I can take my son to school, pick him up, and make 3x what you make in a week in a few hours a day.
It took one month and I finally said ok.
Anyone that says they have no trouble with their girl being an sp is a fu---ing liar.
This did last a while, believe it or not, I loved her soo much.
I knew I was in trouble when she spent $1700 on 2 bicycles for her son for his birthday, bought $2,400 on clothes for herself, and was 3 months behind on her mortgage. She said please help me baby with my mortgage, while she is still screwing guys for money.
Does the word ASSHOLE come to mind? I am the banner boy for assholes around the world.
She was a VERY GOOD actor. Cost me about $60,000 over several months. Never got a bike!

 

[WhaWhaWha]

In fact if you had paid the mortgage after that, you would be required to wear the government sanctioned "asshole warning" sign.

 

[ToronToto]

(can't believe this thread is still going)

4leafclover, now I can see why you're so bitter.

You should not be paying any more than you would with a typical GF. This could include paying for dinner, gifts, local excursions, minor bills etc. This must not include weekend trips to Paris, mortgage payments, major debts etc. Well, unless of course, you've got the money, and don't give a rats' ass.