ever woke up and asked yourself "WTF" did I do to get to this point

[CALLMEBOND]

Lets call this the "WTF" thread (I know its friday night and when left alone with nothing to do and a bottle stupid shit happens). Just wondered if anyone else has run into this. I was perfectly content awhile ago but the past couple weeks have been absolute hell waking up early in the morning (3am is an aweful time to wake up) to wonder what the fuck have I done with my life. At 21 I had an amazing gf and fucked it up by trading away a relationship which was headed to marriage to instead pursue work and money. By 30 finally woke up and figured out that work wasn't everything in life and that it would be nice to have someone to share it with and after several unsuccesful tries (just not the women I was looking for) I end up here. I had found my new "Money Penny" not too long ago but somehow managed to fuck that up as well as I haven't talked to her in weeks just bs emails. My only crutch is now work which never seems to last long enough to fill the day, seeing sp's filled the void for a month or two but then the lack of a real relationship with it quickly made the whole thing lose its appeal. The past week has been the worst I work till 8 or 9pm get home go to bed shortly after and then wake up at 3am thinking this shit up. There is not a hell of a lot to do at 3am and even by sunrise playing 9holes of golf really isn't that appealing. No offence but at 30 something I should be at home in bed not up with the geriatric crowd teeing off. Hence WTF is the point to it all - hmm I see it is time for another drink. Or is this the reason the golf course opens at sun up and I'm just finding this shit out now??

Well hopefully this off my chest I can now get some sleep and will not see any other unlucky sob's at the course tomorrow in the rain.

Cheers
Bond

Oh and a word of advice don't listen to the old and screwed saying not to follow your heart if you know she is the one don't trade her for anything especially money you will only live to regret it.

 

[tired old perv]

Everyday I wake up and asked what the hell have I done with my life? I wonder at what point I made the wrong turn and headed down the spiral that has led me to massive depression. So bad, that if I have one drink, I must then drink till, I either run out of money, or can't fit anymore booze into my system.

I had a great career, lots of disposable income, and I threw it all away over a woman. One who went on to break my heart, destroy me financially, and cause all kinds of other grief.

I have asked myself daily, at all hours of the day and night, was the piece of tail worth being destroyed over?

I actually look forward to going to bed each and every night, mainly cause I can no longer stand to even be awake.

Escorts and strippers didn't help, ease any of the pain, but for a few moments. I often wonder why I didn't focus more on women in my teens then being career driven? I was so naive when i met what I thought was the one.

What the fuck did I do to myself over the last 25 years to get here?

 

[CALLMEBOND]

Just don't start pricing funeral expenses in your spare time Toroz cause your bored out of your mind.

As for drinking too much and pissing away money that isn't a problem because that would interfere with about the only thing that truly occupies my time WORK! The problem is when is enough a enough you can't take it with you and acquiring shit is about as much a problem as drinking sooner or later you run of places to put shit. Everyone just needs to have that special someone to share life with.

 

[hamermill]

WTF are you watching me - now I am depressed

 

[CALLMEBOND]

no no life sucks!!! LOL the only thing that makes it tolerable is u-tube watching chad vader episodes at 12am Sat morning. Oh and the odd beer - help us all if we start making star wars or star trek videos to put on utube.

 

[canucklehead]

It is one thing to have lost your love of your life because you fucked it up... cancer stole mine.
Suck it up butter cup shit happens move on and life while you have the chance.
I miss my late wife everyday, but life is to short.
It could always be worse... go live in a third world country for a few years come back and thank your lucky stars and stop whining.
IMHO!

 

[sled1132]

Mess up my relationship with the girl that meant the most to me about five weeks ago.
Didn't realize it then, but after when she is not around, that is when reality sets in and you relly feel her not being around and you miss them the most.
If given the chance again, for sure one would do things right, but that is what we all say. Guess when the going is good we just take things for granted and only when we loose it for good then we ......... Guys will be guys and always do there guy thing.

 

[shack]

Why do so many people think they need to have someone to share their lives with. After a while most people eventually get tired of the person they, at one time, thought was perfect. Wonder why there are so many attached guys on TERB (rhetorical question)?

Take care of your individual needs as they arise. You'll find that your priorities keep changing during your lifetime. Don't encumber yourself.

 

[The Truman Show]

Each individual is responsible for the decisions they make in life.
No one else.
And now, years later, if you don't like where you are, only you can decide to do something to change your situation.
Gawd, I hate self-pity ...

 

[timy]

I know the feeling guys when I was single I hated friday and saturday nights it whould depress me while other are having fun out there.

 

[Tiffany_69]

Xoxox

Dame guys you know the old saying. Women can`t live with them. Can`t life without them, and the law frowns on it if you shoot them. But it sure as hell can be fun renting them . Now I am still up lmao. Hugs and kisses for ya all.

 

[Never Compromised]

It is our nature to question. At a certain point, you start to question your life, the what ifs, the if onlyies and of course the what if I had.

(holy dictionary batman, is there a spell checker on here now?)

The longer we live, the more regrets. The more we wonder.

But the reality is that we made choices that at the time seemed to be the right ones. And that has made us who we are.

Not happy? Look around and think about the changes you can make in your life. You can't go back, but you can change tomorrow.

Every once in a while, something creeps out of my past and surprises me. And I am shocked and surprised just how I have touched some lives.

 

[CALLMEBOND]

Why do so many people think they need to have someone to share their lives with. After a while most people eventually get tired of the person they, at one time, thought was perfect. Wonder why there are so many attached guys on TERB (rhetorical question)?

Take care of your individual needs as they arise. You'll find that your priorities keep changing during your lifetime. Don't encumber yourself.

Hey staying up blabbering worked slept right past 3am until 8 Hey a marked improvement LOL.

Well its like playing a game of ROCHAMBO by yourself sooner or later you get tired and sore of the first kick.

From a couple good relationships I can say the key to not having this happen shack was that I talked regularly with my partner and we grew together. All be it sometimes you pick the wrong woman but you normally know that within yourself pretty early on.

I now know why so many early 30 something guys signed up for the armed forces lately to go fight the taliban. Not there yet though.

 

[RTRD]

Holy shit...

Yeah, I've been waking up a lot like that lately, or not sleeping at all.....I've been working hard to get her back this week too, and if I do....still not 100% sure.....you can bet your ass I won't be doing anything to fuck it up again.....money is easy to earn if you're motivated to do so.....the right person to spend your time with is not so easy to come by, motivated to do so or not.

...are you my fucking alter ego or what??? Am I a like posting in my sleep with an alternative handle??

I still don't think we are in EXACTLY the same place...but damn...it is a bit spooky...

Maybe we should look into that beer after all....

 

[capncrunch]

...are you my fucking alter ego or what??? Am I a like posting in my sleep with an alternative handle??

I still don't think we are in EXACTLY the same place...but damn...it is a bit spooky...

You're not the only one. Is everyone going through some version of this here??

 

[lusciouslin33]

Even going to a third world country can be depressing.
They're poor, with shit housing, lucky to have a job and yet they're happy.
In love and committed.
I think most of us that participate in the sex trade are missing something deep within themselves, hence grasping at straws to try and fill that gap.
Just my HO.
I know that I'm lonely and am willing to settle for a short period of gratification in lieu of a "real" interaction.
Better to have a little connection than none at all sometimes.

 

[Moet]

It is one thing to have lost your love of your life because you fucked it up... cancer stole mine.
Suck it up butter cup shit happens move on and life while you have the chance.
I miss my late wife everyday, but life is to short.
It could always be worse... go live in a third world country for a few years come back and thank your lucky stars and stop whining.
IMHO!

LOL Well Said!!

 

[CALLMEBOND]

Even going to a third world country can be depressing.
They're poor, with shit housing, lucky to have a job and yet they're happy.
In love and committed.
I think most of us that participate in the sex trade are missing something deep within themselves, hence grasping at straws to try and fill that gap.
Just my HO.
I know that I'm lonely and am willing to settle for a short period of gratification in lieu of a "real" interaction.
Better to have a little connection than none at all sometimes.

No at this point I think I am past short term gratification as it only makes me feel worst the next morning waking up to an empty bed. And to do the multiple overnights thing I would have to win 6/49 I'm afraid. At the heart of it I just really miss doing all the day to day things which brought a smile to her face. For the meantime I think I will just continue to put in hours at work and bury myself in house renovations, and hope for the best. Hopefully can refrain myself from doing something stupid like flying to winnipeg to see her one more time : ) for olde times sake, best to just keep that one as a friend.

Toroz I really feel for you man and I agree with you whole heartedly, to never violate a good womans love by doing something dumb - been there.

 

[tired old perv]

so where is everyone from? Are any of us close enough to get together for some support or at least opportunity to form new friendships.

We may be close enough to go for a drink, and exchange war stories.

 

[Eli]

Well there's always a worse case scenario that's gonna top someon else. I don't think we need a pissing contest. I'll spare everyone my own sob story. I can relate though. You reach a certain age and you look around you and see that what you really wanted/needed in life is not there and it's scary cause your not 21 any more with years of experimentation and misadventure to get away with.