Ever had a friend with benefits?

[_Melissa]

I had the same friend with benefits for 4 years once. Although there was no commitment he ALWAYS came back to dive right into me again and again.

I wanted to have sex with just ONE civi guy that could satisfy me well because as an escort, sex and relationships can sometimes be distorted because of what we do. I kept him around to remind myself that although I truly enjoy what I do for a living to support myself, I can also enjoy it outside of my profession.

Having a FWB kept me sane for those 4 years and kept me from feeling sex as just a service as opposed to having sex simply for the feeling our bodies naturally enjoy. Because of that experience, I’m able to be in the moment with my gents and feel the pleasure they are giving my body instead of performing a mechanical service with them.

Before I got into sex work, I loved having friends with benefits because I could fuck who I want when I want and if one guy wasn’t available I had a back up. When you’re single it’s awesome to be a slut. Makes life more fun!

 

[bazokajoe]

Never had a friend with benefits.

 

[massman]

Tried a FWB relationship a few years back. The sex was frequent and off the chain. We did lots of stuff with each other we’d never tried before. Problem is we fell for each other, leading to an extremely complicated relationship spanning 4 years. It hurt like hell to end it (it had to end), but somehow we remain friends, tho nowhere near as close.
I think I’m not the type for FWB. I like to have sex with people I’m attracted to, physically, mentally and emotionally. Too easy a trap to fall into.

 

[bazokajoe]

Tried a FWB relationship a few years back. The sex was frequent and off the chain. We did lots of stuff with each other we’d never tried before. Problem is we fell for each other, leading to an extremely complicated relationship spanning 4 years. It hurt like hell to end it (it had to end), but somehow we remain friends, tho nowhere near as close.
I think I’m not the type for FWB. I like to have sex with people I’m attracted to, physically, mentally and emotionally. Too easy a trap to fall into.

This is what I am afraid of.

 

[star001]

Not sure whether we were considered to be FWB, Carla (not her real name) and I had a very complicated relationship. We casually dated when we were in our 20's, never committed to be exclusive. Within a few months, she and one of my best friends, Paul started to have feeling for each other. Paul didn't know we had slept together and asked for my permission to ask her out. Carla came to me later and asked me to keep our sexual relationship secret from Paul.

Carla and Paul got serious and moved in together within months. We stayed as friends within our social circles. When they broke up about two years later, Carla and I hooked up again for a few times. It stopped when she and Paul got back together after a few months. Paul never suspected anything happened between us and I felt so guilty about it.

They actually got married a year after getting back together but within a year they were separated. I had a steady girlfriend at that time but Carla and I hooked up again. We told each other that it was just sex. It did not mean anything. My GF at that time didn't feel comfortable that I hanged out with Carla all the time. Although she had no proof that I cheated, she eventually broke up with me.

Paul, on the other hand, didn't suspect anything and encouraged me to keep seeing Carla so he would know what his separated wife was up to. They got back together after the trial separation. They have been happily married since then and have two beautiful kids. We remain friends and I have been keeping my secret with Carla.

is this FWB or FUL? (fucked up life)

 

[RskyBiz]

I had an FWB for 18 months and thought I clearly agreed to make sure that this was just an FWB situation. It was awesome, we saw each other at least 2 to 3 times a week, the sex was incredible, and probably still some of the best experience I have ever had! I believe what ruined it was started inviting her to dinner, shopping and lead to movies. It was sex before and after going out, but I never slept over. I met a girl that I really liked and it started to get serious so I ended the FWB. My FWB was 'heart broken' she thought I would change, and that my dinner invitations and hanging out gave her mixed signals. Bad bad communication on my part!

 

[star001]

I had an FWB for 18 months and thought I clearly agreed to make sure that this was just an FWB situation. It was awesome, we saw each other at least 2 to 3 times a week, the sex was incredible, and probably still some of the best experience I have ever had! I believe what ruined it was started inviting her to dinner, shopping and lead to movies. It was sex before and after going out, but I never slept over. I met a girl that I really liked and it started to get serious so I ended the FWB. My FWB was 'heart broken' she thought I would change, and that my dinner invitations and hanging out gave her mixed signals. Bad bad communication on my part!

both has to have that plan B….one moving on after finding someone and other one left alone will obviously cause problems..

 

[Medman52]

I’ve had a single female friend for 29 years that texts every couple of weeks when she is “in need of some protein”. I’ll pick up coffee or a bottle of wine depending what time of day it is, drop by, chat a bit, retire to the bedroom or living room couch, have some amazing dirty and kinky sex, kiss goodbye and wait for the next text. No dinner, no dating, no drama, just friends that have enjoyed each other sexually for many years.

 

[Archer2012]

Didn’t read through all 3 pages - but FWB - is an easy term to use but can be difficult to navigate.
- one gets stronger feelings for the other - actually wrong words - one wants more from the relationship than the other - thus changing the terms - no longer FWB for one or the other.

Have done it - worked for over twenty years - but both parties had zero expectations, zero interest in pinning the other down, just a mutual like for keeping company, great shagging (when that happened) and other times perhaps some great convos. Really great experience - no bullshit (well perhaps a bit like any long term friends) no jealousy.

 

[massman]

Best way to have a FWB is to be friendly with someone who you pay for their time. The SPs I repeat with are people that are not only great in bed, but are cool and interesting people. Familiarity leads to each meeting becoming more relaxed and increases the anticipation prior. The paid aspect sets a clear boundary, with no confusion/ mixed expectations. May be a bit more expensive than a true FWB situation (tho not necessarily Eg depending on what you and your FWB do together, and where you do it, or if it leads to a messy divorce) but it’s uncomplicated, you can feel good while you are with them, have a good time, leave satisfied, with a smile on your face with no concern about mixed messages/ other entanglements.

 

[Greyu]

I pay for escorts, of course I've never had friends with benefits. Sounds like a lot of fun though. I would probably catch feels real quick.

 

[jcpro]

FWB deals are great- tried it a couple of times. The main downside is that they're very temporary and you end up with no friend and no benefits.

 

[pusher69]

FWB is a whole other world in keeping it just FWB and not something more is the hard part for some.
I still have a one and its a whole lot of fun. We date other people as our personalities and lifestyles do not match, but our sex does and we keep it that way. Sometimes it takes a few tries to meetup at our schedules don't align, but when we are both free its hours of fun.

 

[_Melissa]

Never had a friend with benefits.

It’s never too late to start

 

[_Melissa]

I had an FWB for 18 months and thought I clearly agreed to make sure that this was just an FWB situation. It was awesome, we saw each other at least 2 to 3 times a week, the sex was incredible, and probably still some of the best experience I have ever had! I believe what ruined it was started inviting her to dinner, shopping and lead to movies. It was sex before and after going out, but I never slept over. I met a girl that I really liked and it started to get serious so I ended the FWB. My FWB was 'heart broken' she thought I would change, and that my dinner invitations and hanging out gave her mixed signals. Bad bad communication on my part!

Yea if it’s a fwb where you’re only interested in the sex then leave it at sex. Taking her out on dates is definitely a mixed signal. Makes her feel like you grew fond of her and us women with our pesky emotions will end up growing fond of you too!

 

[_Melissa]

I pay for escorts, of course I've never had friends with benefits. Sounds like a lot of fun though. I would probably catch feels real quick.

Haha I feel like paying an escort sort of is a friend with benefits kind of deal. At least one of a different kind lol guys tend to catch feels for us sometimes. And honestly there was a time I caught feels for a client. I’m sure I’m not the only escort this has happened to either.

 

[bazokajoe]

It’s never too late to start

If it involves just sex and no $$$$, then it might be worth pursuing. Other than that I have no interest.

 

[jcpro]

Yea if it’s a fwb where you’re only interested in the sex then leave it at sex. Taking her out on dates is definitely a mixed signal. Makes her feel like you grew fond of her and us women with our pesky emotions will end up growing fond of you too!

FWB is never just about sex and it always arrives organically. "Dates" are the normal part of that kind of relationship because you end up in bed as the result of social interaction.

 

[RskyBiz]

Yea if it’s a fwb where you’re only interested in the sex then leave it at sex. Taking her out on dates is definitely a mixed signal. Makes her feel like you grew fond of her and us women with our pesky emotions will end up growing fond of you too!

it was a tough lesson. I do better getting my heart broken than breaking hearts! Kinda weird eh?

 

[Valcazar]

Yea if it’s a fwb where you’re only interested in the sex then leave it at sex. Taking her out on dates is definitely a mixed signal. Makes her feel like you grew fond of her and us women with our pesky emotions will end up growing fond of you too!

But it's a friend with benefit situation, not a booty call/regular hookup situation.
If it's an FWB you are fond of them. Don't you like your friends?