Does your wife work?

[SkyRider]

Our company have a "progressive" work policy where, if circumstances permit, women (or men) can "job share", work from home and/or work reduced hours. Good loyal employees are hard to find and keep, so our company tends to be flexible as long as the corporate objectives are met. No, we still do not yet allow employees to bring their babies and/or dogs to work.

Maybe your wife can negotiate a more flexible work schedule rather than quit "cold turkey".

 

[onthebottom]

How would she feel if you suggested that you want to stay home?

 

[huckfinn]

if she expects to eat she better get her lazy ass to work.
And bring me a paper and a coffee on the way home.
Whops, i think that's the plan that got me divorced to start with?

lol!

 

[huckfinn]

Sorry, I can't get over some of the generalizations and chauvinistic remarks....holy crap!

 

[fuji]

Yes times have changed since my parents, do I still believe in them today yes ! And that's what's missing today, a care taker and a provider. Which has always existed since the dawn of humans. Until resent times.
Its no wonder our children are so fucked up.

Well if/when you have kids why don't you become a house husband? Problem solved.

My wife works. Even though we don't really need her income she still brings home the equivalent of a new luxury car every year.

When she wasn't working she spent her days focused on putting any mistake I made under a microscope as a topic for discussion and it wasn't healthy for our marriage. Now she comes home and bores me with gossip about her coworkers, and I put energy into "active listening" because it is SOOOO much better for our relationship that she has somebody else to gripe about.

Also when she was in school and spending my money she felt constrained and put herself on a budget and asked me every time she wanted to buy a pair of shoes, even though I told her she didn't have to ask. I think she resented it even though i told her she was entitled to buy her share of stuff she still thought it was my money. Now she has her own money and buys whatever damned thing she wants. The only argument we have now is that her shoes take up all the closet space.

 

[Thunderballs]

Thanks for the input lads. In response to some of the posts so far:
#2: I was thinking of this approach as well and it seems sound.
#12: I can't really scale back my hours but I would not consider them excessive in any way.
#16: good point
#19: my fear exactly.
#21: progressive hours are not an option for me and very unlikely for her but a good suggestion nonetheless. Post #2 would likely be the more practical option.

 

[celerystick]

My wife has always worked and now she is thinking about just staying home. We don't need her income that badly and to some extent it would help me out since we would not have to juggle sick days around when the kids are sick. I am just afraid that after a year she will be a 300 pound couch potato and I will have to come home and live though the latest Dr. Phil or Oprah philosophy. I also have no confidence that she will turn her free time towards more home cooking or house maintenance, which in my view would be fair. Any tips for handling this? What have you experienced when your wife has chosen home over the workforce?

Yeah, my tip is to support her in whatever choice SHE MAKES ! Since you don't need her income, she's probably thinking of fulfilling her life by trying new things or pursuing other hobbies and passions. You don't own people, and everybody should pursue their own dreams...

My wife loved kids, got her ECL degree, worked in daycare for few years, my career took off, we didn't need the $$ (actually she just made enough to negate my tax deduction for her LOL !), took up cooking, gardening, home / cottage maintenance, raising our kids, sports (tennis, paddle, skiing, biking, etc), and our kids turned out amazingly successful both with their own families and $$ income wise. Just be supportive, forget controlling other peoples life choices ...

 

[TEReviewer]

I am a stay at home dad... oh wait, I'm in sales and can work from home and make my own hours... but my better half doesn't see it that way... a conversation for another day....

Anyway, an idea could be that your wife may want to get work where she can stay at home if your job isn't that flexible.... before you actually venture into this one person income family, crunch the numbers if you haven't done so, can you really afford to live off of one salary.. and if so go for it... it's 2015... your choice between you and your wife...

 

[bob4430]

Best comment was simply to support what she wants. My wife is a stay at home Mom. She works her ass off! It has been a great help to my career and she is a great Mom, and she stays in good shape. Almost makes me feel guilty for loving naked 21 year olds....almost. Anyway, take advantage of your high income and make life better for both of you. Unfortunately, from the sound of your note, there isn't a lot of love and trust in your current relationship. The work issue is only a mask for other problems. Hopefully I am wrong.

 

[MissCroft]

If I were a stay at home wife I would still put in an effort to look good and make yummy dinners. I should've been born 50 years earlier, lol.

 

[red]

If I were a stay at home wife I would still put in an effort to look good and make yummy dinners. I should've been born 50 years earlier, lol.

We are all glad you weren't

To the OP- just talk it out with the wife and see what she has in mind- maybe she just doesn't like her current job?

 

[MissCroft]

We are all glad you weren't

To the OP- just talk it out with the wife and see what she has in mind- maybe she just doesn't like her current job?

LOL - I would be 88!


Like someone else mentioned, I would also suggest doing volunteer work. If you are worried about her getting lazy, volunteering would still give her motivation to look good and get out of the house.

 

[twir]

If you ever head for a divorce in the future, her income is Zero and you will be paying to support her.

 

[Mr Bret]

My wife works and I'm extremely happy she does because I do 99% of my hobbying on weekdays while she's at work.

 

[Kenny-sauga]

Mine does not work. Her job is spending my/our money
Being a home maker is a full time job, I appreciate her efforts.

 

[GPIDEAL]

Im not talking about government. society is a group of people.

Im not sure how my post relates to taxes, when in fact I offer an opinion that he work less and she continues working.

I understood you to mean that society encourages women to work and contribute financially.

 

[GPIDEAL]

If you ever head for a divorce in the future, her income is Zero and you will be paying to support her.

Then he should not bust his ass to maintain a lifestyle if the second income disappears, otherwise he will have to make up the difference in support.

(I think the courts might take into account a sudden drop in family income if she retires so to speak).

 

[oil&gas]

My wife works and I'm extremely happy she does because I do 99% of my hobbying on weekdays while she's at work.

And if she doesn't work she'll have to spend more of your
hobbying money for household expenses. I gather some of
you guys' hobbying activities are supported by wife's job in
some way.

 

[GPIDEAL]

If I were a stay at home wife I would still put in an effort to look good and make yummy dinners. I should've been born 50 years earlier, lol.

... and give me another reason to come home honey

 

[GPIDEAL]

My wife has always worked and now she is thinking about just staying home. We don't need her income that badly and to some extent it would help me out since we would not have to juggle sick days around when the kids are sick. I am just afraid that after a year she will be a 300 pound couch potato and I will have to come home and live though the latest Dr. Phil or Oprah philosophy. I also have no confidence that she will turn her free time towards more home cooking or house maintenance, which in my view would be fair. Any tips for handling this? What have you experienced when your wife has chosen home over the workforce?

How do you currently manage the kids during the work day?