Does it bother you when SP's discuss money?

[Viggo Rasmussen]

Perhaps I was insulting and offensive, but I directed it at myself as well.

I can frighten a woman with words even though I'm a gentle guy if you knew me. I believe fuji and tboy are respectful to women as I am, but we all can use words to express a strong opinion which might intimidate or even bully a woman who doesn't know us.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

LOL I find this newb insulting and offensive.....I think since the first day he joined actually.

As for strongly arguing with women, well, I guess we aren't pussies who walk around "yes dear yes dear yes dear whatever you say dear"........

That is offensive and insulting to me, lol.

 

[Don]

not dealing with the money issue is just delusional. I guess that for every one of us rational guys out there there must be irrational guys. so maybe these threads help, who knows?

I think most of these "irrational" guys are ones who see SP's to fantasize that they are on a real date or looking for the emotional aspect. So discussing money would ruin this.

Me, I see SP's to get some satisfaction physically. I do greatly enjoy an SP who I feel an emotional connection with (whether real or fake). But that is secondary.

 

[demien2k5]

I gernerally have no problem talking about money 1:1 with the lady when we're alone at the front, middle or end of a session...where I gets the yips is when the subject of money is graphically put into writing where it can be tied directly to me and the hobby in my personal life. I had a bad experience recently where after corresponding via e-mail with a reasonably well known SP about the planning and timing of a four hour fetish session, out of the blue I received a very specific and detailed e-mail outining money as payment for sex, required $ amounts for specific non-standard sexual services, and expected monetary denominations as part of payment. For some reason, to this felt way too close for comfort, and fearing a setup, I killed all future contact of any kind with the SP. Maybe an over-reaction on my part, but some things, even as a seasoned hobbyier, feel blatantly inappropriate to me...

 

[doggee_01]

I gernerally have no problem talking about money 1:1 with the lady when we're alone at the front, middle or end of a session...where I gets the yips is when the subject of money is graphically put into writing where it can be tied directly to me and the hobby in my personal life. I had a bad experience recently where after corresponding via e-mail with a reasonably well known SP about the planning and timing of a four hour fetish session, out of the blue I received a very specific and detailed e-mail outining money as payment for sex, required $ amounts for specific non-standard sexual services, and expected monetary denominations as part of payment. For some reason, to this felt way too close for comfort, and fearing a setup, I killed all future contact of any kind with the SP. Maybe an over-reaction on my part, but some things, even as a seasoned hobbyier, feel blatantly inappropriate to me...

better safe than sorry lots of lovely ladies out there.

 

[mur11]

I have no problems discussing money with SPs as long as it's done with a fair bit of tact. Having the SP immediately ask me for the money as soon as I walk in, is a bit of a bum note for me, as is the SP flipping through the money in front of me. Understandable and good business practice though it may be, it's a bit of a jarring note of reality in what is obstensibly supposed to be a fantasy. However, in the vast majority of my sessions, either the money-counting is done discreetly or the money is never asked for. (Obviously implied)

 

[moviefan]

I though this thread was about asking for the money....Of course the terms of the agreement should be agreed upon before the appointment is even booked, and a gentleman always provides full payment up front.

I've never met Selina but I do like her online style. This is the second Selina post I have read today (the other was in the poll about bi-sexuality) that seemed to really tell it like it is.

I like it.

 

[A.J. Raven]

Maybe you should screen your clients better or find another revenue stream where you do not have to be so bitter.

In my experience, there is not a single woman in this industry that would not love to spend the entire hour of booked time chatting. And some women do try to stretch the chatting time out. After all, we are paying for "time and companionship".

I agree 100% that having a brief get to know you chat at the start can dramatically increase the quality of the visit, but let's face it the boys are not usually paying to listen to you chat about yourself.

You're calling me bitter??? One rant - one complaint about one type of client about one part of the job. Yet you suggest ALL working girls are a particular way - which I can emphatically say is way off. But whatever - you're bitter. maybe you should find another hobby.

 

[A.J. Raven]

There is no reason to take offence. The problem is that that 1% do not wear a sign saying they are going to be intimidating or violent. We have to always be on guard, just in case. That's all. I was not meaning to suggest most clients are violent or intimidating - just all clients can potentially be violent or intimidating.

 

[freestuff]

Why should it bother me? It's after all a business transaction. It's money for sex. Sure, it's suppose to be a fantasy for me, but this is her livelihood. If she's not comfortable, then she's not going to be on her "A" game.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Once the money changes hands it is no longer appropriate to discuss it. For example, upselling or trying to negotiate additional bookings before she is 'comfortable' enough with me to provide all advertised services. If you arent comfortable with me, or the money is insufficient to cover what you advertise, show me the door and don't accept the money in the first place.

 

[A.J. Raven]

Tboy & Fugi...

WTF guys??? Assault? Rape? Nice. Good job trying to invalidate my opinion by bringing up such extreme situations. I never said anything about that & I didn't even imply it.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

There is no reason to take offence. The problem is that that 1% do not wear a sign saying they are going to be intimidating or violent. We have to always be on guard, just in case. That's all. I was not meaning to suggest most clients are violent or intimidating - just all clients can potentially be violent or intimidating.

That's understandable and normal for SPs, being on guard can save you and definitely isn't a sign of burnout or bitterness.

 

[A.J. Raven]

That's understandable and normal for SPs, being on guard can save you and definitely isn't a sign of burnout or bitterness.

Thanks for that Viggo. I really love my good clients - regulars & one-offs. When the money problems occur it's a let-down.

 

[East York Melissa]

I find it easiest when the client gives me the envelope before getting into the shower. This gives me time to discreetly count the money before the action begins. Although I am just as happy to count the money in front of the client if he requests.

 

[fuji]

fearing a setup, I killed all future contact

If this were a US experience you were right.

In Canada it is NOT illlegal to communicate in private (such as email) about sex for money. If this is a Canadian experience you over-reacted.

 

[fuji]

It is looking like 90 to 95% of guys do not have a big problem with the SP discussing money briefly at the outset of the session. About half of guys have no problem with money talk at any time. Another ~30% or so don't mind it at the start of a session. A few more hate it but understand why it's necessary.

It's a small minority who hate the idea of money being discussed at any point--I would suggest that those who voted option #1 should quit using SP's, you are clearly not comfortable with sex for money, and you should not subject SP's to your own nferiorities. Please seek psychological help or quit this hobby. If you few oddballs must insist on using SP's I suggest you communicate to them in advance of the session details of your personal problems so that they can accomodate you.

To SP's this is looking like carte blanche to talk about the cash issues when you need to. Bring it on.

 

[demien2k5]

If this were a US experience you were right.

In Canada it is NOT illlegal to communicate in private (such as email) about sex for money. If this is a Canadian experience you over-reacted.

Fuji - Canada or US, there are more risks involved in this hobby than simply the legal aspect of it (which personally doesn't worry me in the least), as Tiger Woods could attest to. When things are put in writing, those risks skyrocket exponentially, and although I agree there are ways to use the e-mail medium safely, in some instances, for some of us with much to lose through the exposure of a paper trail, it's sometimes better to simply walk away. For me at least, the single biggest service an independent SP or agency can excel at is complete discretion.

 

[GDLLover]

I find it easiest when the client gives me the envelope before getting into the shower. This gives me time to discreetly count the money before the action begins. Although I am just as happy to count the money in front of the client if he requests.

I also prefer to have all money expectations completed in email or phone so when we meet they get an envelope and count while in the shower. Firstly she counts and can be now at ease knowing i'm not a ripoff artist, secondly this is a fantasy for me and the money is not part of that fantasy, now its out of the way when returning from the shower with both of our game faces on.

I don't really have a problem with discussing the money with them in person but prefer to get it done before so the envelope is loaded with the correct predetermined denomination. After all, incalls are not legalized, this lack of conversation avoids the communication/solicitation problem.

 

[fuji]

Tboy & Fugi...

WTF guys??? Assault? Rape? Nice. Good job trying to invalidate my opinion by bringing up such extreme situations. I never said anything about that & I didn't even imply it.

So what did you mean by this:

"We only have control as long as you guys allow us to have it. You can take it away by force at any time", I read the word "force" as meaning "physical force". Did you mean something else?