Dishonesty easy to see and what to do about it.

[freedomlover]

My last relationship failed, due in part, to a lack of honesty. I just met another woman, and already, I am seeing dishonesty in her interaction with me. I dont know what I should do. It is so easy for me to spot dishonest behaviour and it causes me sorrow.

I cant break up with every women who displays dishonesty because I would be breaking up with every new woman I meet. After all, everyone is dishonest to some degree. But, I am concerned about being taken down such a path again.

I need a woman in my life, but the common experiences I am exposed to in relationships dismays me. What to do?

I can choose to turn away and be single again. But I know I will need a woman again, will look again, and will eventually find a woman who will likely be as dishonest as all the others I have met.

If I say something to this woman so soon, she will react negatively. Should I play her game? I dont like games, but I dont want to get taken again.

How do you guys deal with it?

 

[wazup]

Try out her vag first, then decide. I usually charge a fee for this advice, free for you.

 

[Keebler Elf]

Be a man. Confront her and/or dump her ass.

 

[danmand]

How do you guys deal with it?

I think most of ud deal with it for a way too long and then regret it.

 

[whatsinaname]

Why not be honest with her about what you feel?

 

[Youngbuc]

Here are some numbers for you, there are about 7 billion people on earth, half are women... Move the fuck on and man up I don't understand why people are hung up on one girl... But that's just me

 

[explorerzip]

The fact that you 'need' a woman in your life is quite telling. I'm no psychotherapist, but it sounds like you need to work on your self confidence because you're expecting the lady to fill a void in your life. In other words, you have trouble just being by yourself or standing on your own two feet. You might want to ask yourself what specifically do you need a woman in your life for?

The other thing is, what is 'dishonest' about her behaviour?

 

[freedomlover]

When I say 'need' a woman, I am talking about the sexual aspect of the relationship. Men need to have sex with women. If we dont have 'relationship' sex, we will pay for 'companion' sex. This is a reality. I am acknowledging that. Women dont need sex as often as men do. Some women like to feel empowered by claiming that they have just as many urges as men, but this is foolish for them to assert.

In terms of her dishonesty, I was communicating with her and she told me she couldnt email me for a while because '.......................................'. I knew her explanation wasnt true. I never pressured or asked her to respond to my communication, but I was dismayed by her lack of honesty.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

It sound like she is going along for the ride till something else better comes along. Very often the guy will give love for sex and the woman will give sex for love. While both are just there to fill a void of being a couple. Just go with the flow until something better comes along for you. When it is all over, you will not be surprised or disappointed.

 

[Questor]

When I say 'need' a woman, I am talking about the sexual aspect of the relationship. Men need to have sex with women. If we dont have 'relationship' sex, we will pay for 'companion' sex. This is a reality. I am acknowledging that. Women dont need sex as often as men do. Some women like to feel empowered by claiming that they have just as many urges as men, but this is foolish for them to assert.

In terms of her dishonesty, I was communicating with her and she told me she couldnt email me for a while because '.......................................'. I knew her explanation wasnt true. I never pressured or asked her to respond to my communication, but I was dismayed by her lack of honesty.

So why do you think she didn't email you? And why did she lie about it? The answer to these questions will determine the appropriate course of action.

btw, have you 'fessed up to her about how you see prostitutes and post on a review board? As long as you advocate honesty in a relationship, you might consider having that talk with her.

 

[explorerzip]

When I say 'need' a woman, I am talking about the sexual aspect of the relationship. Men need to have sex with women. If we dont have 'relationship' sex, we will pay for 'companion' sex. This is a reality. I am acknowledging that. Women dont need sex as often as men do. Some women like to feel empowered by claiming that they have just as many urges as men, but this is foolish for them to assert.

In terms of her dishonesty, I was communicating with her and she told me she couldnt email me for a while because '.......................................'. I knew her explanation wasnt true. I never pressured or asked her to respond to my communication, but I was dismayed by her lack of honesty.

If it's just sex that you want from a woman then why get into a relationship? Relationships are a lot more than just sex. Questor brings up a good point too. If you've been hobbying that means you've been dishonest with her too. Not judging you freedom, just telling the truth.

Only you know what's really going on with your relationship with your SO. We will never have enough information to give you a proper course of action. You have to ask yourself a lot of hard questions and fess up to those times that you messed up. My honest suggestion is not to get into a relationship so quickly after a failed one since there could be some raw emotions at play.

 

[tml]

I've become jaded on this topic. Screw her until you get tired of her and have someone waiting in the wings, while making sure you watch your wallet. She's already marked you as a sucker. Then, blatantly lie to her and when she confronts you just remind her of when she was dishonest with you. End of relationship, move on.

 

[diehard]

pics or it didn't happen! :thumb:

 

[freestuff]

btw, have you 'fessed up to her about how you see prostitutes and post on a review board? As long as you advocate honesty in a relationship, you might consider having that talk with her.

+1. How can you demand total honesty from her if you choose to withhold this information? You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you choose to keep certain details about your life private then you must expect her to do the same.

 

[waba]

So I have a question. If I started dating a girl now and don't hobby anymore and didn't tell her about my past on terb. Is that being dishonest, like I know I will get dumped if I ever tell my future SO about it?

 

[Petzel]

So I have a question. If I started dating a girl now and don't hobby anymore and didn't tell her about my past on terb. Is that being dishonest, like I know I will get dumped if I ever tell my future SO about it?

No because that's the past when she didn't know you and it's just some past info you're withholding. Not the same thing at all.

 

[explorerzip]

So I have a question. If I started dating a girl now and don't hobby anymore and didn't tell her about my past on terb. Is that being dishonest, like I know I will get dumped if I ever tell my future SO about it?

Everyone has skeletons in the closet they're not proud of. The past is the past so it should stay there.

 

[Cypher]

The past is prologue.

Hey, if she doesn't want to email you for a while she clearly needs some space. Could that be so because you're needy or clingy and she's afraid to say it? Are you easily hurt so it's less uncomfortable just to make excuses rather than level with you? Some behaviors attract other behaviors and you do seem convinced that all women are dishonest with you. Have to ask yourself at some point, is it every woman in the world or does the one constant in the equation -- namely you and how you interact in your relationships - have something to do with it?

 

[destillat]

everyone (male or female) is dishonest to everyone in their lives to a degree... deal with it

 

[mur11]

So I have a question. If I started dating a girl now and don't hobby anymore and didn't tell her about my past on terb. Is that being dishonest, like I know I will get dumped if I ever tell my future SO about it?

That is a question I've wrestled with quite a bit.
I've come to the conclusion that no matter what kind of girl I'm dating, if I divulged the full extent of my hobbying (more than 20 SPs seen), 99% of girls will immediately dump me, even if the relationship is going very well at that point. So in some ways, not divulging is the coward's way out, however a necessary one given the choices I've made and my desire for a civilian relationship.
And it is true that my hobbying has very little impact on my relationship, as I never hobby when in a relationship

The one caveat I would say to your post is to get tested between your last hobbying encounter and your first encounter with whoever your dating. If you're clean STD-wise there's really no reason why your SO should be aware of your hobbying, as long as you're not doing it while dating her

It is a form of dishonesty IMHO, simply because many women will consider you having sex with 5 SPs far different from having sex with 5 civilians. I wish a more enlightened view would be the majority, however for the foreseeable future, it does not appear likely.