Svend said:
You can't tell if a guy is free of STD's visually. It isn't determined by if he recently showered, if he dresses well, enjoys classical music or by the size of his wallet.
If you really think daty is a big risk, you either shouldn't take part in it or you should always use dental dams.
That's an excellent argument for abstinence or a committed monogamous relationship for life.
Unfortunately, sex is not so simple for most people -- which is why we have STDs and unplanned pregnancies.
Every time you have sex, you are taking some degree of risk. The point is, what level of risk are you comfortable with? Myself, I'm comfortable with daty and bbbj. First, transmission rates are extremely low when compared with other sexual activities. Secondly, even among these already extremely low rates, female-to-male transmission is even that much more extremely low than male-to-female transmission. So overall, I feel that the risk to myself of getting HIV this way is extremely low, and it's that much more extremely low that I would give it to a male partner through daty or bbbj.
Now let's look at the "up" side of these activities. They are very, very pleasurable -- and let's face it, I'm in the pleasure business. I don't make my money moralizing, diagnosing, providing health advice, or counselling. I make my money sharing the gift of pleasure with other people. I have a responsibility to protect myself and my partners, to be sure -- but within reason. If you're going to say that ANY risk is unacceptable, then not a one of us here should be doing what we're doing. All of us are taking some degree of risk simply by being involved in this.
But there's more to it than that. I have seen people make risk choices over the years based on some very dubious reasoning. For example, I do a duo with an escort who insists that our over-50, married, upper middle class client with two kids in college from the heartland change condoms six times in an hour session because these are her policies -- only to learn later that she's had unprotected oral with a 20-something, unmarried, male escort who is also in another high risk group. Don't laugh! I saw it happen not long ago.
I've seen escorts who refused to kiss, refused bbbj, etc. on the grounds of health reasons take up with some guys in their personal lives that I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole because they were drug users or there was some question of whether they were playing for both teams.
I'm sure it's the same for the customers.
One thing I'm sorry we don't see more of on these boards are discussions and ideas for sexy fun that doesn't involve penetration or possible exchange of body fluids. There are some really fun things people can do that are much safer than regular sex. Wouldn't it be better to encourage discussion of these activities than to engage in scare tactics and condemn people for their choices?
..c..