Dating and texting games

[quackerj]

Texting games piss me off and make me wonder why I am even interested in a girl at all. For instance I try to be considerate and respond as soon as I can. Usually 5-20 minutes, hell we all have phones on our hips these days. Where as she responds hours and hours later, often the next day with a weak excuse. Leaving me feeling badly, that I am putting any energy into her... almost a weird form of female negging lol.

I always try to call first because all I want to do is set a date. A 2 minute conversation sets a date infinitely faster than texting IE its been 2.5 days and I still don't know when she is free.

What texting strategies do you guys use?

ARRRRGGGGG dating!

 

[destillat]

Texting games piss me off and make me wonder why I am even interested in a girl at all. For instance I try to be considerate and respond as soon as I can. Usually 5-20 minutes, hell we all have phones on our hips these days. Where as she responds hours and hours later, often the next day with a weak excuse. Leaving me feeling badly, that I am putting any energy into her... almost a weird form of female negging lol.

I always try to call first because all I want to do is set a date. A 2 minute conversation sets a date infinitely faster than texting IE its been 2.5 days and I still don't know when she is free.

What texting strategies do you guys use?

ARRRRGGGGG dating!

I'm dealing with a similar issue with a side girl.
One day we are hot and heavy sexting, then I don't hear back from her for 2 days... give her the benefit of the doubt... repeat...
She is quite a bit younger than me, so I just chocked it up to immaturity the first time... but after the second time, I decided I don't have time for that unpredictability, especially for something on the side... just yesterday I sent her walking until she smartens up.
It kinda stung because she is bi and I could see a threesome in the future, but the drama just isn't worth it sometimes.

 

[waynward]

Download the Pickup Buddy App on Itunes or Google Play. That has some texting tips. Along with other things like Date Ideas, Opening lines and how to sexually escalate.

 

[Born2Star]

I thought the whole point of texting is you don't have to reply right away, no?

As with girls, everything applies here. Be cool, don't overthink. Text as if with any other normal acquaintance. You don't think about these nor get frustrated with them right? Then why would you be with the girl?

 

[TeeJay]

Wow talk about sounding desperate... she don't txt you back quickly enough lol
Hint if its important and want to discuss you call someone

I've responded to txts days later regularly
Even a week for someone/something unimportant
Maybe thats how she views you

 

[Titalian]

Wow talk about sounding desperate... she don't txt you back quickly enough lol
Hint if its important and want to discuss you call someone.

I agree with the desperate part. So what if she doesn't return your txt immediately or not at all?
She doesn't even know you and you take it personally. Btw there are simple rules to follow when
you're txting for a first date. Luv to know what the OP's approach is. Could be the reason why they
don't get back to him.

 

[MPAsquared]

I'm dealing with a similar issue with a side girl.
One day we are hot and heavy sexting, then I don't hear back from her for 2 days... give her the benefit of the doubt... repeat...
She is quite a bit younger than me, so I just chocked it up to immaturity the first time... but after the second time, I decided I don't have time for that unpredictability, especially for something on the side... just yesterday I sent her walking until she smartens up.
It kinda stung because she is bi and I could see a threesome in the future, but the drama just isn't worth it sometimes.

This is epic! A man expecting gf reactions out of a "side chick". Blahahahahaha. That's automatic need-not-reply-until-im-bored material right there!!!

 

[roger20]

Texting games piss me off and make me wonder why I am even interested in a girl at all. For instance I try to be considerate and respond as soon as I can. Usually 5-20 minutes, hell we all have phones on our hips these days. Where as she responds hours and hours later, often the next day with a weak excuse. Leaving me feeling badly, that I am putting any energy into her... almost a weird form of female negging lol.

I always try to call first because all I want to do is set a date. A 2 minute conversation sets a date infinitely faster than texting IE its been 2.5 days and I still don't know when she is free.

Lol, it's been 2.5 days and you don't know when she is free? You need to rephrase that to "It's been 2.5 days and I still don't know when she is free for me!" Obviously she has time kicking around but for whatever reason she's not putting you as a priority, but she is to you! Not good... Take the hint and carry on with your busines and if she wants to see you then she'll reach out. It doesn't help that you respond in less than 30mins and always call first? Geezus!

What texting strategies do you guys use?

Easy! Treat others like you'd like to be treated and if you're not getting the desired result, take the hint and move on. Life's too short for one-itis (treating a girl like she's the only one out there)

 

[MissCroft]

I have learned that texting and an actual relationship do not work well together. Apparently, my warped sense of humor doesn't translate well through text.


People need to talk to each other. A huge percentage of human communication is body language and facial expressions.

 

[Bud Plug]

People text each other in order not to communicate. It's a way of sending information to avoid interaction. I think TeeJay has correctly summarized how many people approach responding to text messages. The problem with text messages, compared to real conversations, is that you can send them whenever it's convenient to you, without regard for the recipient's own schedule and priorities. Naturally, you should expect a reply based on whatever is convenient to the recipient. As TeeJay hinted, if your response comes much later than expected, or not at all, it's because you don't matter much to this girl. If that is a problem for you, you need to move on.

 

[Titalian]

People text each other in order not to communicate. It's a way of sending information to avoid interaction. I think TeeJay has correctly summarized how many people approach responding to text messages. The problem with text messages, compared to real conversations, is that you can send them whenever it's convenient to you, without regard for the recipient's own schedule and priorities. Naturally, you should expect a reply based on whatever is convenient to the recipient. As TeeJay hinted, if your response comes much later than expected, or not at all, it's because you don't matter much to this girl. If that is a problem for you, you need to move on.

As I said above, what you convey by txt, on initial contact is ultimately important. It can make or break the date. Positive, polite with a hint of class is my moto If I don't hear back I move on.

 

[netcheesemo]

I'm dealing with a similar issue with a side girl.
One day we are hot and heavy sexting, then I don't hear back from her for 2 days... give her the benefit of the doubt... repeat...
She is quite a bit younger than me, so I just chocked it up to immaturity the first time... but after the second time, I decided I don't have time for that unpredictability, especially for something on the side... just yesterday I sent her walking until she smartens up.
It kinda stung because she is bi and I could see a threesome in the future, but the drama just isn't worth it sometimes.

would you like me to talk to her? whats her number?

 

[destillat]

This is epic! A man expecting gf reactions out of a "side chick". Blahahahahaha. That's automatic need-not-reply-until-im-bored material right there!!!

You're clueless... ignoring a text for 2 days in this day and age is immature and rude... whether it is a gf, sister, side chick, acquaintance or pot dealer.

Oh, and PS: She was the one that started pursuing me, knowing full well that a 'side chick' was her only option to get a piece of me... Talk about shooting yourself in the food by being inconsistent.

 

[Just looking]

I agree with the desperate part. So what if she doesn't return your txt immediately or not at all?
She doesn't even know you and you take it personally. Btw there are simple rules to follow when
you're txting for a first date. Luv to know what the OP's approach is. Could be the reason why they
don't get back to him.

I only text ladies I know well, That know me, but it is smart to call when reaching out to new lady, I find most want you to call them anyway, so why not do from the get go.
But most ladies tell me they want polite text or they don't bother to answer them. They get so many rude texts like Hey Babe I want to fuck you.

I understand now why some ladies get fed up with the texting. Most of the Milfs I see really want a phone call or a text only if they know a person.

 

[rhuarc29]

You're clueless... ignoring a text for 2 days in this day and age is immature and rude... whether it is a gf, sister, side chick, acquaintance or pot dealer.

I agree with this for the most part. I can understand if a text gets overlooked because she's busy at the time and it completely slips her mind afterwards, but having this happen regularly is incredibly rude. It's basically saying "I don't care enough about you to even bother responding". Which is, of course, how you should look at it. Whenever a girl does this to me I pretty much accept the fact she's not interested and move on. Several times I have had them text back weeks later or call asking why I'm avoiding them. I tell them exactly what I think: that from their lack of response I didn't think they were interested. Nine times out of ten that leads to an apology on their part and things progress again...but eight times out of those nine they don't learn to be more considerate, and so I end up moving on for good.

The trick is not to get emotional about it. Yeah, it feels like crap when others blatantly show you they don't give a damn. As evidenced by this thread, quite a few people think it's acceptable to act like this through text. Frankly, I find it to be a texting sin, along with breaking up with someone through text.

Whatever you do, don't ask her why she didn't text you back. That comes off as desperate, as others have mentioned.

If it happens rarely, give her the benefit of the doubt that she was otherwise preoccupied. If it happens repeatedly, assume she's rude, doesn't care all that much for you, and is too immature to say so.

I don't think what the OP is talking about has anything to do with dating/texting games. Dating/texting games would be something like "don't text until 2-3 days after a date so you don't look desperate". Which is bullshit; I usually text an hour or two (or the next morning) after a date to say what a good time I had and usually leave off with cliffhanger to get her interested in another date, but nothing set in stone. Often, she'll do the same. I find dating/texting games highly annoying tbh.

 

[barnacler]

Don't be a text buddy, period. You are dancing to her tune too much dude. Stand out by being a minimalist texter. Otherwise you come off as a poodle on her texting leash.

 

[MissCroft]

One day we are hot and heavy sexting, then I don't hear back from her for 2 days

A similar thing once happened to me. I was confused but found out why when his girlfriend called me one night threatening to punch me out.


My point is are you sure that she is not involved with someone else?

 

[Titalian]

A similar thing once happened to me. I was confused but found out why when his girlfriend called me one night threatening to punch me out.


My point is are you sure that she is not involved with someone else?

Very good point and so this can be a problem the opposite way as well. The issue for me is
if for any reason I find out they have a so, I stop seeing them. The fantasy sort of dies for me.
And I don't need the drama.

 

[andydude]

DUDE! welcome to the world of dating

Rules

- Dont set ANY expectations (dont expect her to text back)
- dont text her too much (value her time)
- Have more then one girl (if one chick is being difficult, its alot easier to brush off when you have girl 2 to talk to)
- dont be too approachable or easy to plan things with (show her your time is valuable and you have a life as well)
- be confident, its easy to say, if youre not confident and self secure right now, start working on yourself
- understand: girls and guys are so different. a text to you may create urgency, to her it could create confusion
- needs: you want to date her because you want to fuck her, men need to fuck all the time, women dont. understand your priorities
- create urgency: ie: " hi baby, why dont i send an uber to pick you up in 30 minutes and bring you to "insert restaurant name"
i find creating urgency really works, youve set a target and a reward.. ie: she has to be ready in 30 which will be 45 and she gets dinner

 

[andydude]

interesting. im slightly the opposite, i love fucking chicks who have boyfriends or married, such a turn on