No, it's not better - it's exactly the same. He isn't doing this out of peer pressure.
Co-worker with bf likes me
- Thread starter fjdude
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here's the point..... > .No, it's not better - it's exactly the same. He isn't doing this out of peer pressure.
and here's you..........................................> .
The point is: just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it right. Never said anything about peer pressure. it's about how many are doing it and as to whether it is right or not......
How old are you again?
[sarcasm] Yeah, she sounds like a keeper. You deserve eternal happiness together. [/sarcasm]
Lemme get this straight: she's been messing around with you for two months while in a long-term relationship, resulting in the two of you having sex. Instead of breaking it off with her boyfriend, she's going to go on a cruise with him and will tell him later. After that she'll be ready to start a long-term relationship with you.Needed advice and wanted to see if anyone has been in a similar situation – i’ll try and be brief:
-snip-
Any input is appreciated.
[sarcasm] Yeah, she sounds like a keeper. You deserve eternal happiness together. [/sarcasm]
Captain Fantastic pretty much summed it up in small words that you should be able to understand, even through the cognitive filter of wishing things were the way you wanted and a stiff dick.
It's about boundaries, we all like to think that we'd do the right thing, no matter what. The reality of that is though, that most people will only do the right thing until it becomes morally or financially difficult. She didn't go around pulling off one night stands, she waited until she spotted someone who looked like a good potential SO until she let her panties hit the floor. She didn't bail on the relationship she had the day before she spread her legs, or even the day after.... noooo.. because then she wouldn't get the nice vacation!!! She's got morals and she's got boundaries.... as long as they don't get in her way of having what she wants..
One day, being the one you would like her to be will be incongruent with "what she wants".. and you'll be the cuckhold asshole dishing out for the vacation while she wipes off the millions of potential children that died on her chin last night, that weren't yours, before she kisses you goodbye.. She has shown you exactley who she is and how she rolls... Ask yourself this.... If your younger, not too bright and a bit naieve brother asked you for advice on this situation, what would you tell him to do?
It's about boundaries, we all like to think that we'd do the right thing, no matter what. The reality of that is though, that most people will only do the right thing until it becomes morally or financially difficult. She didn't go around pulling off one night stands, she waited until she spotted someone who looked like a good potential SO until she let her panties hit the floor. She didn't bail on the relationship she had the day before she spread her legs, or even the day after.... noooo.. because then she wouldn't get the nice vacation!!! She's got morals and she's got boundaries.... as long as they don't get in her way of having what she wants..
One day, being the one you would like her to be will be incongruent with "what she wants".. and you'll be the cuckhold asshole dishing out for the vacation while she wipes off the millions of potential children that died on her chin last night, that weren't yours, before she kisses you goodbye.. She has shown you exactley who she is and how she rolls... Ask yourself this.... If your younger, not too bright and a bit naieve brother asked you for advice on this situation, what would you tell him to do?
Judging by the way you asked your question, you deserve each other.
Your concern is that since she cheated on a nice guy, she could do the same to you. News flash, neither of you behaved very nicely in this instance.
Your concern is that since she cheated on a nice guy, she could do the same to you. News flash, neither of you behaved very nicely in this instance.
Exactly. It's her boyfriend, not yours....
Oh, as for the BF thing, don't feel guilty in the least about it. (or at least a little bit lol...
In college I had a similar experience as the OP. She told me she had a BF after we were essentially already together and I'm pretty sure that she cheated on me too (and then she cheated on her next two BFs with me). She was a bit nuts but the sex was great.
She sounds like trouble but if she's going to (eventually) break up a long term relationship to be with you then you ought to at least explore the possibility of you and her together.
This going on a cruise with him now is a bit odd though. And the fact that she doesn't want to tell him during that cruise? Something doesn't add up there. Like tell him already, or cancel the cruise or you take the cruise with her. I mean, to the victor go the spoils, no?
This going on a cruise with him now is a bit odd though. And the fact that she doesn't want to tell him during that cruise? Something doesn't add up there. Like tell him already, or cancel the cruise or you take the cruise with her. I mean, to the victor go the spoils, no?
I would be pissed if I was told this DURING the cruise. She should be dealing with it BEFORE the cruise or admit she's happy having two boyfriends....And the fact that she doesn't want to tell him during that cruise? Something doesn't add up there. ...
