My colleague and I have become good friends in the past 3 years. She is married with 2 young kids. On a regular bassis we go out for dinner and drinks after work. I am single with no kids. She has indicated that we could be friends with benefits as she is bored with her personal life! I would like to hear my fellow terbites your thoughts on getting sexualy involved with my colleague? Upside/ downside... I know her husband would be an issue
Co Worker Advice?
- Thread starter New World
- Start date
Just don't do it. I've been there, someone always catches feelings. There is penalty of women out there. Just pay for it, or find a single lady with less baggage and drama. Shes already gets some kind of intimacy and emotional connection from you (cheating). And you don't know what kind of man she is married to. Run! Keep it friendly. Co- workers and sex is a big no no. She seems messy, red flag!!! Run while you can!
my opinion lol
my opinion lol
"She has indicated that we could be friends with benefits..." Stop drinking the office coffee because you're hallucinating!
Your last comment says it all:
"I know her husband would be an issue"
Let alone her two small kids.
She has already crossed the line, don't cross it with her as nothing good will come out of it.
"I know her husband would be an issue"
Let alone her two small kids.
She has already crossed the line, don't cross it with her as nothing good will come out of it.
I ditto this. Too often friends of mine and a previous client of mine got involved with a woman who was married with 2 kids and it caused HUGE problems. One guy I know who consistently sleeps with his friend's gfs/wives and women in the office, has had the husbands call his office threatening. And my previous client had the woman get angry at him for not giving her more attention and ended up filing a sexual assault report at his office. DON'T DO IT!
I hate to say this (and this is not always true) , but civvy women do have a much more difficult time compartmentalizing than guys do. (again, these are generalizations, but i found them to be true).
if you are not her supervisor then I say go for it, just don't brag about it because I have seen bosses getting jealous when someone in the office was getting a good piece of ass locally and they got canned for that simple reason - I presume she must be super hot to be worth it btw...
Gotta concur with most of the sentiments here. Maybe ask yourself what kind of "benefits" you'll be reaping? If the "benefit" is sex with no strings attached, I'm sure you'll be sadly disappointed, as there are strings attached to every single (civvie) lover. And in this case, kids. And, possibly, your career if it all boils over in your workplace.
If she's your friend, she shouldn't even be putting you in this situation that is mostly of her doing.
There are much easier ways to find NSA arrangements where no one gets hurt.
If she's your friend, she shouldn't even be putting you in this situation that is mostly of her doing.
There are much easier ways to find NSA arrangements where no one gets hurt.
Upside : You get sex.
Downside : Her hubby puts an ax into your head.
Then there is the uncomfortable situation when you stop having sex and still have to work together.
The freeby is going to cost you big.
When things go sour, and it will, watch out. I've seen it many times at work and everybody comes to know about it. Someone eventually has to leave the work place and many times it's the man. So if you like your job, I'd look elsewhere for action.
"I know her husband would be an issue" understatement of the century.
Affairs with married women seem safe, NSA even ("it's just sex, she doesn't want any of that relationship shit") but can get really fucked up. Quick.
1. She develops more feelings for you than "just sec". If you think pleasing a woman in a regular relationship is tough, try doing it when you can only
Steal an hour or two a week together. Impossible task.
2. You, being single, develop feelings for her, and she's not prepared to change the situation - you get hurt
3. She, starts to feel guilty about the situation and overreacts a) shuns you b) freaks out and is an emotional wreck, you feel to blame c) confessss.
Etc etc etc.
But whatever. You know you are gonna do it. You already like her. Try to resist, but it may be futile. The lure of this type of sex is like heroin....
Affairs with married women seem safe, NSA even ("it's just sex, she doesn't want any of that relationship shit") but can get really fucked up. Quick.
1. She develops more feelings for you than "just sec". If you think pleasing a woman in a regular relationship is tough, try doing it when you can only
Steal an hour or two a week together. Impossible task.
2. You, being single, develop feelings for her, and she's not prepared to change the situation - you get hurt
3. She, starts to feel guilty about the situation and overreacts a) shuns you b) freaks out and is an emotional wreck, you feel to blame c) confessss.
Etc etc etc.
But whatever. You know you are gonna do it. You already like her. Try to resist, but it may be futile. The lure of this type of sex is like heroin....
If you really want to do this, get a new job someplace else. Then you won't be coworkers anymore--home free!
If you want to remain coworkers, don't let it go further than coffee.
Otherwise one day she's going to go to HR and say "I had an inappropriate relationship with New World and while I don't feel he did anything wrong being around him at work is hard for me and creates a poisonous environment for me". Then all hell breaks loose.
If you want to remain coworkers, don't let it go further than coffee.
Otherwise one day she's going to go to HR and say "I had an inappropriate relationship with New World and while I don't feel he did anything wrong being around him at work is hard for me and creates a poisonous environment for me". Then all hell breaks loose.
Sex will be great. Go for it. The fact that it's risqué and forbidden adds to the pleasure infinitely. No downside. There would be downside if she wanted more than just sex.
If she's defining it as sex with benefits then don't look a gift horse in the mouth!!!
