Cheating issue

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mymojosup

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Jan 29, 2009
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I've had a heated discussion with a fellow monger on sunday and would like to see what the board states.
I stated that for me personally, i would not get pissed of if my SO cheated on me, since i am cheating on her. I mean the reality is that i am doing something that society views it as not right but which i find to be morally right (yes my morals are different). And if i do find out that my SO cheated on me i have no right to get pissed off. He disagreed.

So for all the terb users out there cheating on their SO, would it bother you if the wheel would turn?
 
I have been saying to my wife for years... "you have my blessing to have all the extra-curricular sex you want, as long as it is with another female, and I want you to tell me all about it! Oh, and pictures would be nice as well!" :D

Works for me!
 
If I caught her cheating it would be over...when we exchanged our vows it was to be faithful to each other as long as we both shall live. By keeping the sex in the relationship new and exciting there would be no reason to cheat...IMHO, on the other hand if things got to the point where I was going to cheat, I would end it before that would happen, bc in my eyes if you are going to cheat the relationship was already over!
 
Why is sex, and sexual fidelity so important in your marriages? What does it matter if extra marital sexual encounters occur?

Is it just that vows were made?

Is it that you believe in the sanctity of marriage (how that it is and you're on TERB I don't know, but stranger things happen...)?

Is it that you own your wife's ass (and pussy and all the rest of it) and she owns yours (with your balls in jar next to the bed)?

Why?

I'm asking sincerely as I don't quite understand it, given how people are clearly not monogamous by nature.

Is it rebellion against nature?

Do tell...
 
wet_suit_one said:
Why is sex, and sexual fidelity so important in your marriages? What does it matter if extra marital sexual encounters occur?

Is it just that vows were made?

Is it that you believe in the sanctity of marriage (how that it is and you're on TERB I don't know, but stranger things happen...)?

Is it that you own your wife's ass (and pussy and all the rest of it) and she owns yours (with your balls in jar next to the bed)?

Why?

I'm asking sincerely as I don't quite understand it, given how people are clearly not monogamous by nature.

Is it rebellion against nature?

Do tell...
Click to expand...
If you truly love someone, married or not, I feel that you should only be with that person...screwing around not only breaks hearts, but breaks trust and friendship in the relationship, especially if there is kids involved, they get hurt too. Truly the thought of my SO touching another man the way she touches me...well the thought tears me apart.

I guess it depends on what your morals are, what about STD, bring that home to your SO...and see where the relationship goes.

Like I said before keeping the relationship alive is the key to a wonderful life...remember "a happy wife, means a happy life"
 
If it's just physical then that can be overlooked. If the cheating is an "affair", where there's an emotional attachment, then that's wrong.
 
ang said:
If you truly love someone, married or not, I feel that you should only be with that person...screwing around not only breaks hearts, but breaks trust and friendship in the relationship, especially if there is kids involved, they get hurt too. Truly the thought of my SO touching another man the way she touches me...well the thought tears me apart.

I guess it depends on what your morals are, what about STD, bring that home to your SO...and see where the relationship goes.

Like I said before keeping the relationship alive is the key to a wonderful life...remember "a happy wife, means a happy life"
Click to expand...


Eh, what about if both folks agree to share? I suppose that's not what you're talking about though...

Perhaps I need a sharing woman.... I think I can be a sharing guy. The question then is, do I love her? Such a complicated world we live in... :(
 
In my opinion cheating is whatever the 2 people involved decide it to be.. anything you do that you have to lie about you know is unacceptable.

Couples who swing will even have a set of rules.. ie you can get blown/fucked etc so long as I'm in the room.. but you can't kiss. That might be what they define as cheating even though they are having sex with other people but openly.

Seeing an escort isn't considered cheating by some clients but at the same time they wouldn't be able to tell their wives.

Would a wife see a male escort though or have an affair.. most would agree it's completely different.

Many women would not end a marriage perhaps if they found their husband saw escorts.. but would if he fell in love.
 
ang said:
If I caught her cheating it would be over...when we exchanged our vows it was to be faithful to each other as long as we both shall live. By keeping the sex in the relationship new and exciting there would be no reason to cheat...IMHO, on the other hand if things got to the point where I was going to cheat, I would end it before that would happen, bc in my eyes if you are going to cheat the relationship was already over!
Click to expand...

Agreed...if either of you need to look elsewhere it's over.
 
Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning:

My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel . Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.



When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table :

My Dear Husband,


I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
 
If I found out my wife was cheating on me there would be fucking hell to pay, completely unacceptable. I also quite expect that if she caught me cheating--which I do at least a couple of times every week--that she would walk out.

If you are going to cheat at least have the fucking decency not to get caught.
 
fuji said:
If I found out my wife was cheating on me there would be fucking hell to pay, completely unacceptable. I also quite expect that if she caught me cheating--which I do at least a couple of times every week--that she would walk out.

If you are going to cheat at least have the fucking decency not to get caught.
Click to expand...

OK... so what you are saying is it's OK for her to be fucking other men (or women) as long as you don't find out? :confused:
 
Cycleguy007 said:
OK... so what you are saying is it's OK for her to be fucking other men (or women) as long as you don't find out? :confused:
Click to expand...

No it's not OK, not at all. That's my firmly held belief.

At the same time as I say that I'm aware it's a moot point: If I never find out my opinion on the subject is irrelevant.

If I were ever to find evidence that she was cheating on me one of us would have to move out. I'd prefer to kick her out in that case, but if that became messy I'd move out. I have no doubt whatsoever that she feels the same way, and that if I ever show so little respect for her as to confront her with clues that I'm cheating on her that she would quite rightly never forgive that.

So I take common sense precautions when I cheat.
 
fuji said:
No it's not OK, not at all. That's my firmly held belief.

At the same time as I say that I'm aware it's a moot point: If I never find out my opinion on the subject is irrelevant.

If I were ever to find evidence that she was cheating on me one of us would have to move out. I'd prefer to kick her out in that case, but if that became messy I'd move out. I have no doubt whatsoever that she feels the same way, and that if I ever show so little respect for her as to confront her with clues that I'm cheating on her that she would quite rightly never forgive that.

So I take common sense precautions when I cheat.
Click to expand...

Ummm, don't you think this is a totally hypocritical opinion, since you yourself admit to cheating "at least a couple of times every week"?:confused:
 
JohnFK said:
I was going to say how hypocritical you were with the double standard, but at least you admit you're a womanizing slimeball :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Look I live in my reality. I do not pretend that human emotions fit are consistent or rational. We are not robots. We are evolved animals, and in my case, I'm wired up like this, it's just a fact of my existence:

1. I get great satisfaction from my living with my wife

2. I am hard wired to cheat left right and center

3. I feel tremendously destructive negative emotions when I am sexually betrayed by a partner

4. I am quite certain my wife also experiences #1 and #3

So the open question is then is she as hard wired as I am to cheat? Well my answer to that is I am going to make sure that she so fears the consequences of ever letting me find out that she either never does, or hides it as well as I do.
 
fuji said:
No it's not OK, not at all. That's my firmly held belief.

and that if I ever show so little respect for her as to confront her with clues that I'm cheating on her that she would quite rightly never forgive that.

So I take common sense precautions when I cheat.
Click to expand...
Sorry I have to ask, are you not showing her very little respect by cheating on her???? :confused:
 
mymojosup said:
I've had a heated discussion with a fellow monger on sunday and would like to see what the board states.
I stated that for me personally, i would not get pissed of if my SO cheated on me, since i am cheating on her. I mean the reality is that i am doing something that society views it as not right but which i find to be morally right (yes my morals are different). And if i do find out that my SO cheated on me i have no right to get pissed off. He disagreed.

So for all the terb users out there cheating on their SO, would it bother you if the wheel would turn?
Click to expand...

I believe it to be morally wrong. Only because you are taking the risk of contracting some STDs in your cheating behavior and your SO would be unaware of the risk he/she is taking by having sex with the cheating partner. My opinion.
 
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