Being Outed

Marla

Marla

Active member
Mar 29, 2010
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Has anyone on this Forum ever been outed.
I was outed by an angry person to my father and she gave him the URL to my website three years ago. Consequently, he has disowned me. We were very close up until then. I have found a way to cope with it now, but for a while, I didn't want to live for the shame it brought to me. They say we are supposed to forgive those we are mad at and I can't forgive her. I hope karma gets her. She knowingly gave this to my Father knowing he had a weak heart. He had to have stints put in after. It could have done worse to him. Evil is too kind a word for her. I have put it in the past and no longer dwell on it so am ok with it now. I Just wondered if anyone else had suffered this experience.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. No doubt it was and still is difficult to be estranged from your father.

On the other hand, I've heard more than a few heartwarming stories about how friends and family have pulled together to support an outed sexworker. Love prevails.
 
I say this with all sincerity...your dedication to this board is commendable, but you're on vacation. Go enjoy it!
 
It would be good for your own well being if you could forgive her, but it's understandable if you can't. Maybe pity her for being that way?
I've heard of several situations and it's getting worse because of the internet. You can reduce the risk by never showing your face so you always have deniability, not working out of your home, and not engaging in drama.
I hope your relationship with your father improves, it may improve over time but if it doesn't - so be it. Don't let others make you feel less of a person.
 
Shakeandbake said:
yes I have been outed here , by another terb member to boot
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That's actually so lame.

I very recently sent a pm to a member (who's handle is the name of a deceased musician) about an SP as a friendly head's up about questionable practices that she engages in. Fuckwad went right to her.
 
Me. Sucked at the time. Its fantastic now. I'm lucky. I don't hate the people that did it. "Forgive" is a big word. Lol. I'm at peace with it, I understand why they did it based on what they thought to be true. It was a crazy time. Hindsight, it all turned out for the best. Again, I'm lucky.
 
Viggo Rasmussen said:
I've heard of several situations and it's getting worse because of the internet.
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It is very difficult to hide in the Internet age. I have been with several MPA's/SPs who have divulged a lot of personal information to me (probably because I am a very good listener), enough that some lunatic who is savvy enough with search engines could find their real identity fairly readily. I have too much respect for the privacy of the women I have seen to even attempt to find them.
 
There is no shame in what do you for a living. People should not judge. Politicians are prostitutes too, they bend over to take up the ass for donations. Your closest loved ones should love you regardless, if they don't and want to disown you then their the ones living in shame.
 
Jessica S said:
It is very sad that some people just can't mind their own business. I am a firm believer in Karma and I'm sure she will get what is coming to her. I hope at some point you can forgive her as forgiveness is for you and not the other person. I have had someone tell a family member of mine to ask what I do for work. Presumably someone knows but may want me to admit it myself. I won't admit anything, I have no clue why people feel the need to shame women in this business. I am not hurting anyone and this is a choice I made of my own free will.
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why would anyone wanna out YOU like that?..youre a sweetheart :)
 
DB123 said:
That's actually so lame.

I very recently sent a pm to a member (who's handle is the name of a deceased musician) about an SP as a friendly head's up about questionable practices that she engages in. Fuckwad went right to her.
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Shakeandbake said:
yes I have been outed here , by another terb member to boot
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Be careful who you unveil, your secrets to !!
 
I've been outed to a degree 'in another life'.

Sorry to hear about your experience Marla and hope your dad is better.
 
livluvlaf said:
I remember sharing experiences and opinions with someone that was quite present on the board here and very friendly in PMs, etc.
I was kind of new to the internet and these kind of boards and thought it was in confidence, but I was naive.
I definitely got the cold shoulder from those MPAs. Was never the same after that. What a douche. I think he/she was probably an "agent" of a couple of the MPAs I was visiting.
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Best guess is that in your case and mine, these guys are just pathetic losers who hope that ass-kissing will get them better treatment or some sort of 'special' relationship.
 
Marla said:
Has anyone on this Forum ever been outed.
I was outed by an angry person to my father and she gave him the URL to my website three years ago. Consequently, he has disowned me. We were very close up until then. I have found a way to cope with it now, but for a while, I didn't want to live for the shame it brought to me. They say we are supposed to forgive those we are mad at and I can't forgive her. I hope karma gets her. She knowingly gave this to my Father knowing he had a weak heart. He had to have stints put in after. It could have done worse to him. Evil is too kind a word for her. I have put it in the past and no longer dwell on it so am ok with it now. I Just wondered if anyone else had suffered this experience.
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I am more disgusted by your father's reaction, than by what this evil person did.

I cannot imagine anything - not anything - that my daughter could do, that would make me come anywhere near disowning her. I might try to dissuade her from this or that way of earning a living, but I would support her in her choice. (Not literally, of course, if she chose to be an escort.)

A man who disowns his daughter is in love, not so much with her, as with his idea of her as an extension of himself.
 
Marla I'm very sorry to learn this. I don't know what on earth is wrong with people like the woman who did this to you.

It is small comfort to you I know, to learn that you are not the only person to suffer at the hand of someone who can only be described as evil. Several years ago one of the nicest posters I've ever known on this board although we not infrequently disagreed, died suddenly, and someone from the world of the boards attempted to out him to his family the week of his funeral!!!
 
Aardvark154 said:
Marla I'm very sorry to learn this. I don't know what on earth is wrong with people like the woman who did this to you.

It is small comfort to you I know, to learn that you are not the only person to suffer at the hand of someone who can only be described as evil. Several years ago one of the nicest posters I've ever known on this board although we not infrequently disagreed, died suddenly, and someone from the world of the boards attempted to out him to his family the week of his funeral!!!
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Wow...that is actually sickening.
 
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