Are women stupid?
- Thread starter jjwilson
- Start date
I think many guys don't know how to talk to women. You can see it in this thread by the initial question posed "Are women stupid?", and the attack/blame game where they themselves are faultless in the ordeal. Many guys seem to like to play this role of powerless victim (keeping track of arguments on a calender?!?! WTF??) or give up too easily and use it as an excuse to cheat and don't really do anything proactive to mix things up and get the woman out of her shell. If you can analyze the why or at least make an attempt you will usually find the women more willing to talk.
Jaded, you do have a point. The blame game has got to be the biggest and most unproductive waste of time and energy ever in a relationship.
With that being said, however, there are some women (and I know of a couple, personally) that would rather fester on their own and make the whole house uncomfortable rather than have it over with. It doesn't make any sense to me at all, I find it selfish in the extreme, but for some it's reality. Sad, frustrating as all hell, but true.
With that being said, however, there are some women (and I know of a couple, personally) that would rather fester on their own and make the whole house uncomfortable rather than have it over with. It doesn't make any sense to me at all, I find it selfish in the extreme, but for some it's reality. Sad, frustrating as all hell, but true.
IMHO cheating is never the answer nor is the silent treatment or yelling. The ideal situation is to sit down and talk honestly that certain behaviour is causing the relationship to break down and if you both don't fix it it will eventually be over. Idle threats of leaving are like crying wolf and fits of anger usually lead to the person feeling guilty instead of dealing with the origional problem. I wish I had all the answers as I can certainly understand your situation. I wish you the best of luck but a nice quiet sit down with no direct blaming and with the projection of you both fixing it together might just work. Good Luck
I agree ..... especially with the last three posts/
I also would like to add this ~ We learn from our parents and environment. The children in this situation are learning that this is acceptable behaviour and I would be willing to wager that Mrs. jj's mother behaved in much the same way. Allowing the situation to continue as it is, is not healthy for them or for their future relationships.
The_Jaded_One said:
I also would like to add this ~ We learn from our parents and environment. The children in this situation are learning that this is acceptable behaviour and I would be willing to wager that Mrs. jj's mother behaved in much the same way. Allowing the situation to continue as it is, is not healthy for them or for their future relationships.
Either way you get screwed anally no matter what you say to her.
Think about how you would respond when she askes, "Do I look fat?"
If you "tell the truth" i.e., less appealing in PC terms, she will flame you for being "frank", "insensitive", "hypocritical", and what not, especially when you have beer gut of your own.
If you say something "you know what to do" i.e. throw the ball to her court, she will again flame you for being "dodgy", "evasive", "insincere", "dishonest" and what not.
Maybe she wonder whether you are too smart after you read Maxim numerous times.
She will stop being like that only when you are physically intimidated enough to "treat your sorry ass/ego gingerly" for her personal safety.
And no, your physique is not a deterrant. It is your liability. Any threat to "level the playing field" can lead you to the legal hot water.
See a "nice" guy should not resort any force to settle issue with women even though she's the bitchy one and you have all the legitimate cause to do so.
Any manipulative woman will take the advantage to extort you and get what she wants, knowing that you won't risk your "reputation" shattered when you dare to fight back.
Sometimes I wonder whether nowadays women possess invisible/stealthy leashes to reign in the men and make sure men are "well behave" according to whatever women seem fit.
I am not even talking about female bosses, especially the singles, mature workaholic type.
The bottom line is you can't win with any fight with women in any conflict since everything from legal to psychology stack against you.
Who's going to believe when you show the "case" to outsider everytime when the issue like verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse arise and hell even harassment?
Women always get the sympathy even though they are equally capable of inflicting such pains. Nobody will believe men are equally feel vicitimized.
BTW, at least if you act as a "nice" guy, NOT "girly" man to the MPA/SP, she will at least accept these "BS" for the time duration.
And don't forget the price must be right!!
That's the difference between a Pro and a civilian!! The Pros value your business even though you may be a big Joke/Idiot when she is not at the "workplace".
Maybe you get a better treatment when you are good at your tongue and down there.
But again how do you know whether she really means she like your "talent"?
Think about how you would respond when she askes, "Do I look fat?"
If you "tell the truth" i.e., less appealing in PC terms, she will flame you for being "frank", "insensitive", "hypocritical", and what not, especially when you have beer gut of your own.
If you say something "you know what to do" i.e. throw the ball to her court, she will again flame you for being "dodgy", "evasive", "insincere", "dishonest" and what not.
Maybe she wonder whether you are too smart after you read Maxim numerous times.
She will stop being like that only when you are physically intimidated enough to "treat your sorry ass/ego gingerly" for her personal safety.
And no, your physique is not a deterrant. It is your liability. Any threat to "level the playing field" can lead you to the legal hot water.
See a "nice" guy should not resort any force to settle issue with women even though she's the bitchy one and you have all the legitimate cause to do so.
Any manipulative woman will take the advantage to extort you and get what she wants, knowing that you won't risk your "reputation" shattered when you dare to fight back.
Sometimes I wonder whether nowadays women possess invisible/stealthy leashes to reign in the men and make sure men are "well behave" according to whatever women seem fit.
I am not even talking about female bosses, especially the singles, mature workaholic type.
The bottom line is you can't win with any fight with women in any conflict since everything from legal to psychology stack against you.
Who's going to believe when you show the "case" to outsider everytime when the issue like verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse arise and hell even harassment?
Women always get the sympathy even though they are equally capable of inflicting such pains. Nobody will believe men are equally feel vicitimized.
BTW, at least if you act as a "nice" guy, NOT "girly" man to the MPA/SP, she will at least accept these "BS" for the time duration.
And don't forget the price must be right!!
That's the difference between a Pro and a civilian!! The Pros value your business even though you may be a big Joke/Idiot when she is not at the "workplace".
Maybe you get a better treatment when you are good at your tongue and down there.
But again how do you know whether she really means she like your "talent"?
Hey Jaded one, I'm a man of the nineties. I'm educated, well read and a good dad. I listen to her when she talks and am sincere in my attempts to build a stronger relationship but the bottom line is that if I treated her as she treats me - the verbal and emotional abuse - I'd be vilified in the community.
Sweet guy, you have it right; you simply cannot win any fight and that is why I choose to take control of my life outside the relationship. She has set the rules - not me.
jj
Sweet guy, you have it right; you simply cannot win any fight and that is why I choose to take control of my life outside the relationship. She has set the rules - not me.
jj
Re: I agree ..... especially with the last three posts/
Congratulations! That is exactly what the marriage counselor said to me ( I went myself, my idea to go, because she wouldn't go with me ). The flip side to this is that if I leave the relationship she will have more time with the kids alone than she does now and I will have even less chance to provide an alternative viewpoint to her adversarial nature. I have no doubt that she would use the kids as a weapon to try to hurt me.
jj
Flower:Flower said:
Congratulations! That is exactly what the marriage counselor said to me ( I went myself, my idea to go, because she wouldn't go with me ). The flip side to this is that if I leave the relationship she will have more time with the kids alone than she does now and I will have even less chance to provide an alternative viewpoint to her adversarial nature. I have no doubt that she would use the kids as a weapon to try to hurt me.
jj
Learn the lesson well and not in the mood of dating and marriage.jjwilson said:
No, I am NOT committment shy. I just refuse to take her BS and "baggages".
Like any "enlightened" man in new age. I learn how to take care myself without looking or to be specific hoping to find a lady who someday could take care of me....like the old days.
And for the ladies, civilian and pro out there. This is NOT personal. Sometimes man does feel resigned and regretted to have relationship with woman, especially with the hottie type who, to be PC is not exactly that well-organized and tidy as one would believe.
No, I am NOT talking about grooming. I am thinking of home sweet home.
Re: My solution
Nowadays it doesn't matter whether the chick is an oritental, a blonde, a brunette or a redhead. They are more or less the same.
The oriental chicks have the same attitude and problems as the white chicks except they are less vocal and aggressive. The "bananas" also fit perfectly the same category as the white chicks.
The only difference may be they give you the hard time not in English all the time!!
That's BS!! Nothing but stereotype (submissive or whatever)DonQuixote said:
Nowadays it doesn't matter whether the chick is an oritental, a blonde, a brunette or a redhead. They are more or less the same.
The oriental chicks have the same attitude and problems as the white chicks except they are less vocal and aggressive. The "bananas" also fit perfectly the same category as the white chicks.
The only difference may be they give you the hard time not in English all the time!!
Or "what is wrong with women" in Maxim, FHMDon said:
BTW, isn't that true Cosmo readers are mainly secretary, receptionists, those single chicks?
No they are not stupid.happygrump said:
But quite a handful of women are defintely manipulative and evil.
Those women are totally unpredictable. When the guy wants to reason, she wants to be alone. When he wants to be alone, she wants to talk.
She expects you to cater to her every whim and she's not always necessarily in a good mood. Sometimes she can drives you nuts and cost you more than just an arm and a leg.
Would you still consider a relationship with her?
Re: Re: My solution
Ironically, everything you say about women is nothing but a negative BS stereotype. The real problem lies with your underlying juvenile, whiny-ass attitude about women in general and your failure to objectively critique yourself and make positive changes. No one wants to be around someone that wallows in their own self-pity and is constantly focusing on what they unfairly perceive other people's flaws to be. I couldn't stand being around the attitude that you have displayed in this thread for 5 minutes so it's no wonder women steer clear of you.sweet guy said:
It sounds to me like you go about your marriage from the perspective of casting blame on your wife and making yourself out to be some sort of trodden-down saint. It is hard to believe that you are sincere in your attempts to build a stronger relationship when you have admitted that you "aren't looking for solutions but rather for commiseration" and that "when she pushes I look for a way to even the score". I bet even your marriage counselor attempt was a way to gain ammunition on your wife and to further your resentment of her. If you really want to save your marriage for the sake of the kids you should probably look in the mirror and ask yourself what YOU are doing wrong instead of looking for ways to blame everything on your wife. Only then is the environment conducive to finding compromise and solutions.jjwilson said:
Re: My solution
My policy is I never solicit or try to hook up any hottie in the work place since the risk and liability of any kind are "incalculable". So, they have NO clue on my point of view. All of the "interaction" are just business. Nothing more, nothing less.
I have seen too many times dealing with women who fit the bill, someone you don't even want to have anything to do with them in private or off the work.
Until they are making common sense on relationship, otherwise guys are just walking on a mine field. You never know you will be "blown" up because of stupid reasons.
What's your difference then when you say the guy is the problem and should make positive change, NOT the gals?
Are you saying those women doing the right thing and should be encouraged to do so, while guys who refuse to play this game are bunches of juvenile, whiny-asses?
How can they steer clear of me when I rarely approach to any one of them outside the business relationship in the first place?The_Jaded_One said:
My policy is I never solicit or try to hook up any hottie in the work place since the risk and liability of any kind are "incalculable". So, they have NO clue on my point of view. All of the "interaction" are just business. Nothing more, nothing less.
I have seen too many times dealing with women who fit the bill, someone you don't even want to have anything to do with them in private or off the work.
Until they are making common sense on relationship, otherwise guys are just walking on a mine field. You never know you will be "blown" up because of stupid reasons.
You can't handle the truth?
What's your difference then when you say the guy is the problem and should make positive change, NOT the gals?
Are you saying those women doing the right thing and should be encouraged to do so, while guys who refuse to play this game are bunches of juvenile, whiny-asses?
