Anyone ever catch feelings for a provider?

[Theredmilf]

Everyone is entitled to their own experience and boundaries in this industry but for myself I don’t see feelings and financial transactions as mutually exclusive. I’m sure my GP cares for myself and family members and yet she gets paid. My pool guy & I have a wonderful mutual friendship and sympatico. Teachers care for their students. And so why isn’t it anything but normal that, when we share actual sexual & emotional intimacy, we have feelings. To have zero feelings whatsoever would make us sociopaths wouldn’t it?

People can share love and not be in love. People can also feel love and decide not to share their lives. We can have relationships that are segmented, compartmented for practical reasons and also very real. Why is it marriage is still seen as the only valid model where two people can care and yet have a contract of mutual investment?

It would be interesting to see the discussions here evolve a bit from polarized either or positions and zero-sum equations. Surely we’re all grown-ups who can have a mature and more nuanced view of the world.

Sex workers are not sociopaths out to bleed clients. We’re highly erotic and creative people with complicated needs and desires we fulfill through our sex work. Many are extremely empathic, able to set aside superficial aspects of a person. And we’re very much still entitled to compensation & boundaries just like any other human in any other profession.

 

[WPLOTT]

Everyone is entitled to their own experience and boundaries in this industry but for myself I don’t see feelings and financial transactions as mutually exclusive. I’m sure my GP cares for myself and family members and yet she gets paid. My pool guy & I have a wonderful mutual friendship and sympatico. Teachers care for their students. And so why isn’t it anything but normal that, when we share actual sexual & emotional intimacy, we have feelings. To have zero feelings whatsoever would make us sociopaths wouldn’t it?

People can share love and not be in love. People can also feel love and decide not to share their lives. We can have relationships that are segmented, compartmented for practical reasons and also very real. Why is it marriage is still seen as the only valid model where two people can care and yet have a contract of mutual investment?

It would be interesting to see the discussions here evolve a bit from polarized either or positions and zero-sum equations. Surely we’re all grown-ups who can have a mature and more nuanced view of the world.

Sex workers are not sociopaths out to bleed clients. We’re highly erotic and creative people with complicated needs and desires we fulfill through our sex work. Many are extremely empathic, able to set aside superficial aspects of a person. And we’re very much still entitled to compensation & boundaries just like any other human in any other profession.

nailed it

 

[Dcoat]

Stay tune... I'll let you know Saturay morning!

Good luck to you, actually good luck to you both!

 

[KittyCaterina]

Everyone is entitled to their own experience and boundaries in this industry but for myself I don’t see feelings and financial transactions as mutually exclusive. I’m sure my GP cares for myself and family members and yet she gets paid. My pool guy & I have a wonderful mutual friendship and sympatico. Teachers care for their students. And so why isn’t it anything but normal that, when we share actual sexual & emotional intimacy, we have feelings. To have zero feelings whatsoever would make us sociopaths wouldn’t it?

People can share love and not be in love. People can also feel love and decide not to share their lives. We can have relationships that are segmented, compartmented for practical reasons and also very real. Why is it marriage is still seen as the only valid model where two people can care and yet have a contract of mutual investment?

It would be interesting to see the discussions here evolve a bit from polarized either or positions and zero-sum equations. Surely we’re all grown-ups who can have a mature and more nuanced view of the world.

Sex workers are not sociopaths out to bleed clients. We’re highly erotic and creative people with complicated needs and desires we fulfill through our sex work. Many are extremely empathic, able to set aside superficial aspects of a person. And we’re very much still entitled to compensation & boundaries just like any other human in any other profession.

Could not have said it better.

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong when a client begins to cross boundaries and acts entitled to my personal life or things that are none of his business...

Am I blurring lines? Somehow making him think he is entitled? Or am I just providing a sexual, emotional and mental experience that I provide to all of my regulars? Most of whom do not become obsessive and entitled.

 

[ottawa_cuck]

Could not have said it better.

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong when a client begins to cross boundaries and acts entitled to my personal life or things that are none of his business...

Am I blurring lines? Somehow making him think he is entitled? Or am I just providing a sexual, emotional and mental experience that I provide to all of my regulars? Most of whom do not become obsessive and entitled.

The first sign of crossed boundaries should elicit a response from the sex worker. If I text a sex worker “I love you” & she replies back “I love you”. Going forward I’m going to assume I’m entitled to A LOT of other shit in our relationship!

 

[Theredmilf]

The first sign of crossed boundaries should elicit a response from the sex worker. If I text a sex worker “I love you” & she replies back “I love you”. Going forward I’m going to assume I’m entitled to A LOT of other shit in our relationship!

It’s never nice to feel toyed with whether intended or not but as the old saying goes, to assume makes an ass out of u and me. If every gesture of affection in the moment was literal & serious I would be married several times over, have travelled to 5 continents, have a baby at 50 and own several condos.

Emotional resilience seems in short supply these days. So does self-responsibility. You’ll get a lot further in life being grateful for small gestures of affection than using those to grandstand for your perceived entitlements from others.

 

[ottawa_cuck]

You’ll get a lot further in life being grateful for small gestures of affection than using those to grandstand for your perceived entitlements from others.

Small gesture to you, I guess words are truly meaningless these days. And fyi I’m talking about 3am texts, not heat of the moment talk.

 

[westcityside]

Human beings can be deceitful and manipulative. The naive and the innocent often learn that too late. The best advice I can give to any John on here is to act as if every action between you and the provider is part of a business transaction, do not pass go, do not think you are different.

 

[MAncy0651]

i mean let’s be honest we all are dwindling around with our muses to be merry. In that path of merry making one would always find themselves amongst the crossroads of attachment.

 

[Covid-19]

i mean let’s be honest we all are dwindling around with our muses to be merry. In that path of merry making one would always find themselves amongst the crossroads of attachment.

And sometimes that crossroad is met with a baby in a carriage!

 

[KittyCaterina]

I have recently dealt with this issue where a client felt entitled to certain things such as my personal life, addressing me by my real name (after I was outed), confronting me face to face with extremely uncomfortable questions after our sessions were over, obsessively following me on social media, etc...

He has had multiple warnings including being cut off for months. Not much has changed. So yes, I have been very assertive with him.

When I recently suggested over text (after another awkward face to face confrontation, this time about making my Twitter private) he improve his social life, maybe start dating and stop focusing so much on me, this was his response:

"That would be a bad business decision tho not saying you rely on me for income but I do provide a good chunk of extra money my buddy always tells me that he will give me the same companionship for less, maybe I'll have to explore my options "

This type of comment is HURTFUL, as though I am not EARNING my INCOME by giving myself physically and mentally to him. My clients do not PROVIDE for me, I WORK to EARN my OWN INCOME. I "provide a good chunk of extra money" for myself.

This is a great example of a client feeling entitled. The stupid smiley faces just made it worse, like it is a joke to him.

Don't be this guy.

 

[kherg007]

I always fall madly in love. So does she (after all, which hot young lady wouldn't go ga ga over a plain looking over the hill bloke?), but alas after a torrid one or two hours, the stars don't align and we break up. Sad, but I suppose this means we can each see other people now.

But seriously, and I've said this heaps, but ya gotta think of this as WWE wrestling. Don't ask if it is real. Simply ask if you were entertained. Enjoy it, but know it's not real. Know the line. Don't cross it. She'll be more comfortable w you if she knows that. It's the situation kitty mentions above that causes ladies to hold back as too many blokes will misinterpret sweet kindness as her wanting a deeper relationship.

 

[MAncy0651]

And sometimes that crossroad is met with a baby in a carriage!

And sometimes that crossroad is met with a baby in a carriage!

fortunately i get to claim it all as entertainment and recreation.

 

[Gentlemoan]

Always happens to me, that’s why I am an addict.

 

[KTDoy]

It’s never nice to feel toyed with whether intended or not but as the old saying goes, to assume makes an ass out of u and me. If every gesture of affection in the moment was literal & serious I would be married several times over, have travelled to 5 continents, have a baby at 50 and own several condos.

Emotional resilience seems in short supply these days. So does self-responsibility. You’ll get a lot further in life being grateful for small gestures of affection than using those to grandstand for your perceived entitlements from others.

You sound better than Dr. Ruth

 

[Theredmilf]

You sound better than Dr. Ruth

Oh, you’re giving away your age! The doctor is in and I think I’ve got your prescription

 

[TTP]

Everyone is entitled to their own experience and boundaries in this industry but for myself I don’t see feelings and financial transactions as mutually exclusive. I’m sure my GP cares for myself and family members and yet she gets paid. My pool guy & I have a wonderful mutual friendship and sympatico. Teachers care for their students. And so why isn’t it anything but normal that, when we share actual sexual & emotional intimacy, we have feelings. To have zero feelings whatsoever would make us sociopaths wouldn’t it?

People can share love and not be in love. People can also feel love and decide not to share their lives. We can have relationships that are segmented, compartmented for practical reasons and also very real. Why is it marriage is still seen as the only valid model where two people can care and yet have a contract of mutual investment?

It would be interesting to see the discussions here evolve a bit from polarized either or positions and zero-sum equations. Surely we’re all grown-ups who can have a mature and more nuanced view of the world.

Sex workers are not sociopaths out to bleed clients. We’re highly erotic and creative people with complicated needs and desires we fulfill through our sex work. Many are extremely empathic, able to set aside superficial aspects of a person. And we’re very much still entitled to compensation & boundaries just like any other human in any other profession.

Well said my Luv! Gifting us with these words of wisdom just shows everyone why all of us who know you adore you. We can only hope that more of us can be more like you and go through life with such an open mind and heart. You really are a special woman!

 

[Mandalorian]

Well said my Luv! Gifting us with these words of wisdom just shows everyone why all of us who know you adore you. We can only hope that more of us can be more like you and go through life with such an open mind and heart. You really are a special woman!

Agreed. I love how Ruby classes up this place.

 

[Sixx25]

This has happened and the feelings were mutual. We were sympatico when together alone but inhabited completely different worlds in regard to family and social circles. I went cold turkey and stopped seeing her. She was pretty frantic and called and texted. After a while she backed Off. I felt terrible afterward and still think of her all the time. She is a gem.

How do you know the feelings were mutual, before you went cold turkey and stopped seeing her? In other words, how did you know her feelings were genuine and she wasn't just going along with it to keep you as a client? Why stop seeing her if you like her?

 

[Modernman]

I’ve been a victim of this myself. Had to cut back dramatically on seeing one of my regulars for this reason.