American Women Giving up on Marriage

[Patron]

Conservative women are more likely to be married than liberal women, and they're happier than liberal women.

My personal experience/observation compliments this finding.

Why So Blue: Liberal Women are Less Happy, More Lonely. But Why?

Less marriage and religion help explain liberal women’s unhappiness.

ifstudies.org

Interesting and thought-provoking.

I admit that most of my reading on the subject has been from women who left the church.

I do think it makes sense that women indoctrinated in a culture like the Baptists where they actually sing about the superiority of the male gender might be more interested in marriage and perceive herself as happy.

Of course hell hath no fury like the woman who gets out of all that after being in it.

And there are two obvious problems for the typical male on this board. Presumably the husband has to attend church regularly with her and listen to stories of Jonah being swallowed by the whale and Moses parting the sea. Not that would do much for the future happiness of most guys here, even one who believes greater happiness might occur as a result of marriage.

And religious folks often isolate themselves in groups and marry within those groups after getting to know each other for years. Sure you can show up on the doorstep like Borat and get invited in, but the full acceptance in a short period of time can be a bitch.

Most non religious people spend a lot of time doing critical thinking. It is possible that creates relatively more unhappiness in the short run since there are few solutions to the problems they think about. But I am not sure you can successfully suspend that critical thinking and do the whole religious thing and convince yourself that God will fix all the problems.

That doesn’t mean that the religious folks aren’t happy. I am just not sure you can achieve greater happiness by being Born Again into it after doing much thinking. Those happy people started with it very young and never gave much thought to the ridiculousness of much of it.

 

[jalimon]

Conservative women are more likely to be married than liberal women, and they're happier than liberal women.

My personal experience/observation compliments this finding.

Why So Blue: Liberal Women are Less Happy, More Lonely. But Why?

Less marriage and religion help explain liberal women’s unhappiness.

ifstudies.org

Conservative women are not allowed to be unhappy about their husbands. That's why they turn into angry crazy Karen.

 

[rhuarc29]

Actually, statistics show that unmarried and childless women are happiest.

I literally read a study two days ago that said the opposite. Married with children were happiest, followed by married without children, followed by unmarried without children, with unmarried with children being last. The study was conducted by GSS (General Social Survey), so it's pretty reliable. It was conducted a couple years ago, and is based on women's responses in the 18-55 age bracket. Findings for men were the same ranking, though married without children and unmarried without children were almost on par, whereas it was an 8% gap for women.

Who Is Happiest? Married Mothers and Fathers, per the Latest General Social Survey

Social media and mainstream media are replete with stories suggesting marriage and parenthood are not fulfilling, especially for women. Not surprisingly, many Americans now believe the key to being happy is a good education, work, and freedom from the encumbrances of family life—not getting...

www.aei.org

Although GSS is a reputable survey group, the problem with modern surveys is that there can often be a lack of integrity or competence in conducting them. The language is often loaded, the questions can be a bit misleading, and the available responses to choose from may not encompass the full range that would be applicable. All these can skew the results a certain way...and usually in a way that more supports the ideology of those conducting or paying for the survey. And even once data is collected, the interpretation of said data is also prone to further skew, and then add on top of that how the data is presented.

Just as a for instance, the above link reported the data of only those who said they were "very happy". Whereas the data collected by the survey has things broken down by "very happy", "happy" and "not happy". By presenting only one data point, the article could skew you into believing a majority are unhappy in each instance. So how the data is reported can definitely play a role.

The reason I bring this up is because social media is full of claims that childless, unmarried women are super happy. Occasionally the people saying such will reference a survey or research, but as soon as you dig below the surface you realize something is askew with the data they're basing their opinion on. I can't tell you the number of times I've found this because sometimes the claims are so outlandish that I just have to dig deeper, only to find the claims are wrong.

 

[Jenesis]

I literally read a study two days ago that said the opposite. Married with children were happiest, followed by married without children, followed by unmarried without children, with unmarried with children being last. The study was conducted by GSS (General Social Survey), so it's pretty reliable. It was conducted a couple years ago, and is based on women's responses in the 18-55 age bracket. Findings for men were the same ranking, though married without children and unmarried without children were almost on par, whereas it was an 8% gap for women.

Who Is Happiest? Married Mothers and Fathers, per the Latest General Social Survey

Social media and mainstream media are replete with stories suggesting marriage and parenthood are not fulfilling, especially for women. Not surprisingly, many Americans now believe the key to being happy is a good education, work, and freedom from the encumbrances of family life—not getting...

www.aei.org

Although GSS is a reputable survey group, the problem with modern surveys is that there can often be a lack of integrity or competence in conducting them. The language is often loaded, the questions can be a bit misleading, and the available responses to choose from may not encompass the full range that would be applicable. All these can skew the results a certain way...and usually in a way that more supports the ideology of those conducting or paying for the survey. And even once data is collected, the interpretation of said data is also prone to further skew, and then add on top of that how the data is presented.

Just as a for instance, the above link reported the data of only those who said they were "very happy". Whereas the data collected by the survey has things broken down by "very happy", "happy" and "not happy". By presenting only one data point, the article could skew you into believing a majority are unhappy in each instance. So how the data is reported can definitely play a role.

The reason I bring this up is because social media is full of claims that childless, unmarried women are super happy. Occasionally the people saying such will reference a survey or research, but as soon as you dig below the surface you realize something is askew with the data they're basing their opinion on. I can't tell you the number of times I've found this because sometimes the claims are so outlandish that I just have to dig deeper, only to find the claims are wrong.

Again, I go more my by own experience. I have never been married and have never been happier. Same with many of my single female friends. It is not just about "surveys". It is about life experiences.

I don't know why so many men have issue with single women being happy without relationships or children. I know I have no problem with the many men on this very board who say the same about themselves.

Anyone who knows me, clients who have met me, etc - all see how I live my life and how much I feel truly blessed to be as happy and content with life as I am. I will never get into a relationship again. I don’t want one. Am not looking for one and would probably run from the chance of one. LOL.

 

[Patron]

Again, I go more my by own experience. I have never been married and have never been happier. Same with many of my single female friends. It is not just about "surveys". It is about life experiences.

I don't know why so many men have issue with single women being happy without relationships or children. I know I have no problem with the many men on this very board who say the same about themselves.

Anyone who knows me, clients who have met me, etc - all see how I live my life and how much I feel truly blessed to be as happy and content with life as I am. I will never get into a relationship again. I don’t want one. Am not looking for one and would probably run from the chance of one. LOL.

I think most people find themselves over time and choose paths that make them happiest.

As I said before, there are like 8 billion people on a planet that not long ago had 3-4 billion. The thought that everyone has to get married and have 2.4 kids seems ridiculous to me.

My biggest conflicts on the various boards have been with the older men who think it is of the upmost importance for all young men to get married and have kids, and imply that something is wrong with a young man who doesn’t do those things. They never say the same things about the young women participating on the boards since those young women are the very sex workers they enjoy seeing instead of Gertrude on match dot com who makes a killer bean casserole but is 79 years old. The irony escapes them.

Bottom line is that when you have more education and greater wealth in society as a result of both men and women being educated and working, marriage and childbirth rates will decline. We have seen it in multiple countries with different cultures and races. Whether that makes people happier as a whole is debatable, since happiness is a bitch to measure.

 

[Josephine]

I don't want to get married
I don't want a boyfriend.
I want multiple boyfriends
I want to live happy with my dogs
🫶

Wait...this is exactly what I am doing

It's not that I don't like men. I just don't need one.

 

[rhuarc29]

Again, I go more my by own experience. I have never been married and have never been happier. Same with many of my single female friends. It is not just about "surveys". It is about life experiences.

I don't know why so many men have issue with single women being happy without relationships or children. I know I have no problem with the many men on this very board who say the same about themselves.

Anyone who knows me, clients who have met me, etc - all see how I live my life and how much I feel truly blessed to be as happy and content with life as I am. I will never get into a relationship again. I don’t want one. Am not looking for one and would probably run from the chance of one. LOL.

I can't speak for other men. In fact, I'm happy you've found contentedness in your own life! And I absolutely take you at your word that you are happy. I have no reason to believe otherwise. Women (and men) don't need to be married, nor have children, to be happy.

I was merely commenting on the fact I've found sources stating women are, on average, happier single, to be flawed or misleading. Certainly doesn't mean all single women are miserable, or that all married women are happy. I just find it strange the drive on social media to push the narrative that single women are happier on average, when the facts don't line up.

 

[Jenesis]

I can't speak for other men. In fact, I'm happy you've found contentedness in your own life! And I absolutely take you at your word that you are happy. I have no reason to believe otherwise. Women (and men) don't need to be married, nor have children, to be happy.

I was merely commenting on the fact I've found sources stating women are, on average, happier single, to be flawed or misleading. Certainly doesn't mean all single women are miserable, or that all married women are happy. I just find it strange the drive on social media to push the narrative that single women are happier on average, when the facts don't line up.

It's the internet. We can all find a "study" that supports opposite views. LOL.

 

[Patron]

I can't speak for other men. In fact, I'm happy you've found contentedness in your own life! And I absolutely take you at your word that you are happy. I have no reason to believe otherwise. Women (and men) don't need to be married, nor have children, to be happy.

I was merely commenting on the fact I've found sources stating women are, on average, happier single, to be flawed or misleading. Certainly doesn't mean all single women are miserable, or that all married women are happy. I just find it strange the drive on social media to push the narrative that single women are happier on average, when the facts don't line up.

This lady does a lot of arguing that the statistics showing that the statistics showing greater happiness among married women with children are similarly flawed.

Home - Bella DePaulo

Explore the world of Bella DePaulo, PhD - the leading voice on single life, TEDx speaker, and author. Discover the single experience.

belladepaulo.com

Apparently none of them have ever read the famous quote that there are lies, damned lies, then there are statistics.

As far as social media is concerned, I think there is simply excitement about there being a group to belong to, as corny as that might sound.

Religion is a huge social group that touts how happy its members are, most of which are families with children, or those who will marry within the church. They will tell you all about it, sometimes by coming right to your front door. The members get quite a few things to be happy about for only ten percent of their income (Okay a little more if you opt for private school tuition). Your life is nicely planned out and there isn’t as much to be unhappy about. Everyone has a role, and if one of your roles is being a breadwinner, there are networking opportunities to enhance that income. Especially your afterlife is planned out for you as long as you behave, repent and tithe ten percent or more. Certainly a big social gathering every Sunday. And even more social gatherings this time of year for the Catholics with fish and beer on Fridays, and softball in the summer.

Single childless life ain’t much fun compared to that, especially for all of those highly-educated females who are always worrying about things like how to solve poverty. If you join a Texas Megachurch that preaches about Prosperity you know damn well why some people are poor - they didn’t join the right church. So the single, liberal-outlook women sometimes get together on social media get together and have some celebration and togetherness. It isn’t that much different than the smug married with children folks getting together and singing about Jesus once a week. But a lot of those single, educated women keep worrying about the problems of the world that God doesn’t seem to be fixing, so that will always keep them a little less happy than the median person.

 

[Jenesis]

This lady does a lot of arguing that the statistics showing that the statistics showing greater happiness among married women with children are similarly flawed.

I'm not arguing. I read a study that says different and my experience personally is different. I'm allowed to share that view point.

Maybe the studies I read are wrong and these ones are right. Fine. That is totally fine.

It still doesn't mean anything to me because my personal experience supports being happy without marriage.

And honestly I don't really care enough to "argue" the point. Think I'm wrong. I'm ok with that. Think I'm right. I'm ok with that too.

At the end of the day - I'm single and I'm happier then I have ever been including when I was in a long term relationship that I am thankful didn't include legal marriage so it was easier to walk away.

So either I'm apart of the study that supports what I do and am or I happen to go against the grain to the other study presented. Cool. I'm happy either way and personally that is all that matters to me.

 

[Patron]

I'm not arguing. I read a study that says different and my experience personally is different. I'm allowed to share that view point.

Maybe the studies I read are wrong and these ones are right. Fine. That is totally fine.

It still doesn't mean anything to me because my personal experience supports being happy without marriage.

And honestly I don't really care enough to "argue" the point. Think I'm wrong. I'm ok with that. Think I'm right. I'm ok with that too.

At the end of the day - I'm single and I'm happier then I have ever been including when I was in a long term relationship that I am thankful didn't include legal marriage so it was easier to walk away.

So either I'm apart of the study that supports what I do and am or I happen to go against the grain to the other study presented. Cool. I'm happy either way and personally that is all that matters to me.

Arguing might not be the right word. She points out that many studies are flawed.

She doesn‘t argue against parenthood and/or children, she just points out that those who have chosen a life path often did so for a reason, and they would not be happier joining the other group.

But to be a tad more militant, you can learn some things from anonymous message boards because people are damn honest. It is true here. When is the last time you debated the pros and cons of anal play outside of boards like Terb?

One of the fastest growing social media sites for years was people who regret parenthood. Most of the participants were women. That tells a lot about true happiness for some new parents.

 

[jeff2]

I think most people find themselves over time and choose paths that make them happiest.

As I said before, there are like 8 billion people on a planet that not long ago had 3-4 billion. The thought that everyone has to get married and have 2.4 kids seems ridiculous to me.

My biggest conflicts on the various boards have been with the older men who think it is of the upmost importance for all young men to get married and have kids, and imply that something is wrong with a young man who doesn’t do those things. They never say the same things about the young women participating on the boards since those young women are the very sex workers they enjoy seeing instead of Gertrude on match dot com who makes a killer bean casserole but is 79 years old. The irony escapes them.

Bottom line is that when you have more education and greater wealth in society as a result of both men and women being educated and working, marriage and childbirth rates will decline. We have seen it in multiple countries with different cultures and races. Whether that makes people happier as a whole is debatable, since happiness is a bitch to measure.

Much older men benefited from completely different demographics and economics. I will not go way back to the shortage of men because of wars, but the front end boomer men and the ones a little older than them had a huge group to dip down into. Men tend to marry women at least two years younger and the boom in Canada peaked in the late 50s/early 60s. Also,
boys are weaker at birth but modern hospitals have reduced the infant mortality rate for boys. The men born at the end of the baby boom(our boom went a bit longer than the U.S. I go to 1966 but some go to 1965) were not only competing for a small group of women but their earnings were falling because of the secular shift to a service based economy starting in the early 1980s(which coincided with a massive recession and the highest unemployment since the depression). At the same time, women were racing ahead in school and getting the union jobs still remaining(government jobs) after the outsourcing/automation of factories and the mechanization of resource extraction. Some men are making more cash than ever within the polarized service based economy(extremes with hamburger flippers and call centre employees on one side and lawyers and software engineers on the other) but not enough to satisfy women or make up for the overall decline.

 

[Leimonis]

We know extremely different types of people. LOL. Not my experience at all. At least with the women I know - men I would agree. 90% of the single men I know are miserable.

Are they involuntarily single though?

 

[Jenesis]

Are they involuntarily single though?

There is no such thing. There is undesirable but involuntary

 

[Patron]

Much older men benefited from completely different demographics and economics. I will not go way back to the shortage of men because of wars, but the front end boomer men and the ones a little older than them had a huge group to dip down into. Men tend to marry women at least two years younger and the boom in Canada peaked in the late 50s/early 60s. Also,
boys are weaker at birth but modern hospitals have reduced the infant mortality rate for boys. The men born at the end of the baby boom(our boom went a bit longer than the U.S. I go to 1966 but some go to 1965) were not only competing for a small group of women but their earnings were falling because of the secular shift to a service based economy starting in the early 1980s(which coincided with a massive recession and the highest unemployment since the depression). At the same time, women were racing ahead in school and getting the union jobs still remaining(government jobs) after the outsourcing/automation of factories and the mechanization of resource extraction. Some men are making more cash than ever within the polarized service based economy(extremes with hamburger flippers and call centre employees on one side and lawyers and software engineers on the other) but not enough to satisfy women or make up for the overall decline.

This is an excellent analysis, Jeff2.

A couple of things are going to be very interesting to watch in American politics and economics the next few years.

A great number of current American policies will likely prove detrimental in the female versus male never ending somewhat friendly skirmish.

The one most reported on is the reduction in high-paying government administrative jobs often filled by educated women. They do indeed have a union aspect as you indicated. This is being coupled with the tarriff-induced attempt to bring heavy manufacturing back to the U.S., which will theoretically benefit men.

But a less reported on thing to consider is food affordability and availability.

It is simply a basic fact that Single Life is much easier to survive in now than it was decades ago because you spend a smaller portion of your income on food now compared to back then. It is less expensive to feed two people on a “per person” basis than it is to feed one person. And there didn’t used to be as many restaurants to help accomplish that result by feeding many people at once.

One of my favorite American government leaders was Earl Butz, who promoted policies that has helped the world feed 8 Billion people (a feat once considered impossible as indicated in a previous post), and he spoke, although somewhat ineloquently, about the importance of comfortable shoes, a warm place to take a shit, and a tight vagina into which to ejaculate.

Funny and combative to the end, they wheeled him to an interview in King Corn, a documentary about High Fructose Corn Syrup, and the old bastard knew the inflation adjusted cost of a cheeseburger over the years and its percentage of a typical family income.

Secretary most famed for his downfall

Earl Butz, 1909-2008

www.smh.com.au

Food inflation is already high, and could get worse with Trump deporting so many immigrants who work in Agriculture, and RFK Jr. interfering with the components of the food chain.

I hope it doesn’t happen obviously, but food affordability could drive marriages up between the higher percentage of those hopelessly romantic single men mentioned in the article and those many single women the article says are not looking for romance, or to do cooking for two. I suppose some of those men would have an Earl Butz approved tight vagina into which to ejaculate, at least for a while - until the divorces occur after people realize you can’t feed 8 Billion people with healthy food and grass-fed cows, and things go back to the way they were.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Many single men are unhappy because they have to do dishes and laundry, and they have to get up and go to the fridge if they want another beer while watching the game on TV.

 

[jalimon]

Many single men are unhappy because they have to do dishes and laundry, and they have to get up and go to the fridge if they want another beer while watching the game on TV.

Hence why they are single

 

[onomatopoeia]

Anyone who's generally lazy tends to be undesirable or constantly negative. Go do something with your life lol.

If you continue to diss me, you'll get lots of likes from Jenesis.

 

[johnnyy]

well I'm not surprised at all. That's why I decided to try dating on hook up sites. I had my doubts, but the app was super easy to use and surprisingly full of real people. I matched with someone local, and after chatting a bit, we met up and had an amazing night. We’re not trying to date seriously, just enjoy the moment.