Age difference in relationships

[Dr69]

At what point does the age difference become so large that the chances of having a stable long term relationship are seriously diminished?

I am 35 and the girl is 22. She likes older guys, so that is no problem. But, is a 13 year age difference too big to consider a serious relationship? In some ways she is very mature, but in others, well not so much so. Overall, I have met some 30 year olds that have a lower level of maturity. But, at what point does the age difference become too large? Is it all dependent on the individuals involved?

Now, I am not talking about casual sex or a one off thing. As far as casual sex is concerned, as long as both partners are of consenting age, the age difference shouldn't really matter. I would have sex with a 16 year old, as long as it was legal where I was living and both parties knew it wasn't anything serious. It is ridiculous to think that anything of that sort could be long term.

N America is an extremely prudish society in sexual matters, and I don't really care what the society at large thinks. So my question relates more to the practicality of a large age difference.

 

[Holden MacNeil]

If it feels right do it.

When I was 32 I dated a 19 year old. We dated for a year without there being an issue regarding the age gap. Only after did anyone mention the 13 years difference but it didn't matter.

Go with your gut feeling. You might kick yourself if you don't give it a try.







PS Does she have a sister?

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Age is a number

Although it can be a good barometer of shared interests and experiences, age by itself is not a fail-safe predictor of compatibility.

My last girlfriend was 16 yrs younger than me. She was the exception to the rule though, very mature, exceptionally (top 1%) intelligent, independent since 18, focused on school as opposed to drinking and partying, etc.

In the end we broke up because we simply did not have enough mutually available time to spend together. It was never a question of maturity, interests, sex, conversation or family. Our respective families were very supportive and never brought up the age issue.

I honestly think that age is a number. I personally prefer girls who are 10-15 yrs or so younger, simply because I do not have anything in common with women my age. I have a few SP friends in Toronto in that age range, and I doubt they see the age difference either.

If it working, dont analyze it.

 

[gramage]

one of my favorite comedy quotes:

when I was in grade 10 all the grade ten girls wanted to date seniors the senior girls all wanted college guys the college girls all wanted grad school guys the grad school girls all wanted the professors the professors wives all wanted the dean the dean liked guys in grade 10.

screw age difference if your both cool with it.

 

[TravellingGuy]

Re: At what point does the age difference become so large that the chances of having a st

Are you an idiot?

Thats like the pot asking the kettle...

He's asking for experiences and opinions, no need to insult him. Asking simple questions and looking for other's experiences and thoughts doesn't make him an idiot, not having anything useful to add and doing nothing but being a pain in the ass is a different story.

 

[Faith]

Honey, don't worry about the age difference just have fun!! Personally, myself the age difference between myself and my companion is only 8 yrs but it doesn't bother me in the least. Younger ladies tend to date older men because of the maturity, and stability that they can provide. If you are happy together than that is all that matters.


Ciao
Faith

 

[bigmoe69er]

one of my favorite comedy quotes:

when I was in grade 10 all the grade ten girls wanted to date seniors the senior girls all wanted college guys the college girls all wanted grad school guys the grad school girls all wanted the professors the professors wives all wanted the dean the dean liked guys in grade 10.

screw age difference if your both cool with it.

You said it perfectly, gramage! I agree 100%! ---Dr. Moe

 

[bigmoe69er]

Re: Re: At what point does the age difference become so large that the chances of having a st

Thats like the pot asking the kettle...

He's asking for experiences and opinions, no need to insult him. Asking simple questions and looking for other's experiences and thoughts doesn't make him an idiot, not having anything useful to add and doing nothing but being a pain in the ass is a different story.

TravellingGuy, you took the words right out of my mouth! Right on! ---Dr. Moe

 

[homonger]

Here's another joke in the same vein

Circle of Life.......

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

At 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often
as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but
directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits.

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Ah, I see Silvertongue has hit the idiot trifecta!!!

More innane meaningless contributions from our resident comedian. Your lack of content is exceed only by your lack of significance.

What's the matter, couldn't organize all three thoughts into one post?

 

[Dr69]

Thank you to all of you that responded (except for silvertongue) for your words of encouragement. The general consensus seems to be that I should go for it. That is the way I was tending as well, I just wanted to hear some more about other people's experiences.

I would like to hear more of the female point of view as well if possible.

Lickman, I don't think there is any need to be embarassed by the age difference as such as long as both parties are mutually consenting adults. And like you said, as long as everyone knows what it is all about and doesn't have any unrealistic expectations.

 

[gala]

Good news: If you're really serious this potential future mother of your kids will be prime child bearing age while women your age are having miscarriages and babies with birth defects. So that's a good thing, right?

Bad news: Everybody else is going to think you are a dirtbag slime-ball, and that your wife is just into you for cash--and everybody else may include all your friends and family, her friends, her parents, and so on. But if you can deal with that, then fuck what everybody else thinks.

Reality check: You and her are the only ones with any clue whether or not you're compatible and in which ways. How the hell would I know?

 

[Dr69]

Everybody else is going to think you are a dirtbag slime-ball, and that your wife is just into you for cash

Interesting comment. Why would dating someone 10 to 15 years younger than you make you a dirtbag slime ball?

 

[bigmoe69er]

Gala, your simplistic, generalized analysis culminated by "How the hell would I know?" is, hopefully, not representative of the female point of view Dr69 is waiting to receive. Intelligent, sensitive requests followed by smart ass responses is an unfortunate, all too common TERB phenomenon. ---Dr. Moe

 

[Dorm201]

I've dated a few women who varied from 8 to 10 years younger than myself, and have found that it's alot harder to make things work. Relationships often need a common bond, as well as differences to keep things together and interesting at the same time. It's alot harder to relate to each others' personal experiences and moods/ambitions/etc with larger age differences. Heck, remember what you were like in high school and university as opposed to what your goals and attitude were like after 5 years of work?

I'm not saying it won't work. I'm just saying it's a lot less likely. But sometimes, things are just meant to be, and it doesn't matter if you're the same age as your partner, or generations apart. Some relationships would or wouldn't work out regardless.

 

[Bud Plug]

I like to restrict my dating to women who are within a few days of my own age. A restrictive rule yes, but so far it has ensured that nothing has ever gone wrong with any of my relationships.

 

[TJ in the 'Peg]

How about a 15 year age difference...

My parents have 15 years between them. They have been married for 52 years - most of them happy (what! Did you think thast I was going to say that they had all been great? Time for a little reality...)

TJ (;-)

 

[Casanova]

Age difference

Do not worry, Dr69, evertyhing will work out, just fine. I beleive that if there is love, understanding, communication and care, and commitment, a relationship with age difference can and many, work out. I am speaking from personal experience, where the age difference is a lot more than 13 years. It is not the age of your partner or your age matters, but how you guys relate to each other, do you have a common bond, honesty, reliability, respect and care for each other. How commited both of you are to making it work, because every relationship requires nurturing, it is like a flower, delicate plant that need nurturing.
I would not be worry too much about the age difference, I guess you might not be comfortable with it and how about her? How does she feel about it? Did you ever discuss this with her, because ultimately, she can give you the best feedback on your age anxieties, and fears. If you have not discussed it yet, my advice is to talk to her about it, that might your minf at ease.

Wish You Good Luck, and if you really love her do not let a few years of difference separate you from your happiness.

 

[bkspoiler11]

re:age

Oh a very interesting topic. I must say off the bat I'm more attracted to older women then younger ones. Older women tell it like it is for the most part. I find younger women are back and forth in thinking. I like to say younger women have that mr wonderful paul orndorff syndrome. LOL... That's mean a good person one day and bad the next. Younger women I find from my experience aren't in check with their horomones. The older women I've dated are. As for age difference now, It shouldn't matter. However, I find the younger women want to explore and find relationships tie them down. Older women want to settle down. My last gf 3 years younger then me and she wanted to get married 6 months in. She got a new job and started making more money than me and well let's just say were not together now. Anyways, every person is different. When the right one comes along, don't take them for granted.



bkspoiler11

 

[xix]

Re: re:age

Oh a very interesting topic. I must say off the bat I'm more attracted to older women then younger ones. Older women tell it like it is for the most part. My last gf 3 years younger then me and she wanted to get married 6 months in. She got a new job and started making more money than me and well let's just say were not together now. Anyways, every person is different. When the right one comes along, don't take them for granted.



bkspoiler11

I am curious to know why the break up. Money a factor?

My dumb luck is that I keep bumping into younger woman that want to go out with me. At work, night school, and the gym. Very few are mature for their age. But I had to develop a system to weed out the " I want free dinner only" types. It was getting boring, waste of time and expensive.
I find it more comfertable speaking to married and older woman. But unfortunately for me not many older single woman bump into me.