A question for the ladies....

[drlove]

Here is an interesting question:

I have been seeing escorts for some time while single, but eventually, I am sure that I will be back in a serious, long term relationship.

Assuming that occurs, at some point the issue of sexual history will come up between the two of us. Now, I took some flak from some of the guys on this board for suggesting that I would be completely honest about my past "extracurricular activities".
Most said that women outside of the industry would not understand the hobby and thus would have nothing to do with me if they found out.

So, I'm asking for your opinions, ladies: Assume for a moment that you are single, and have never worked in the business. You meet someone that you are very attracted to. Then, when the topic of past sexual history comes up, he is completely upfront with you and says that he saw escorts while single, but would not do so when involved in a monagamous relationship. What would your reaction be???

Thanks for your input.

 

[Jenn_angel]

Did it happen to me......?

once upon a time... (I love that line)

I did meet some one before I did this and he was honest. I respected that more. My question to you is ..... do you want to be with a woman who judges you for a natural thing? Next there is the idea that you as the client have seen x# of Escorts etc. My new question is this... If you met a girl, fell in love, but she worked or had worked .... would you date her?

 

[Jenn_angel]

Thank you

This was the point I wanted made clear. Now would you rather her be honest about the fact that she had done it if you were not a "hobbiest", or sugar coat it?

 

[Jenn_angel]

hi

I believe it is a hypothetical question. Not actualy fact as of yet....
Are you attached Cindy?

 

[Willywants]

Experience!!

I think this is a moot question insofar as it may never arise!
However, if it did, I don't think minute details are required!
Is she or is she not a virgin? If she is, then a very delicate approach needs to be taken! If she's not, it will soon become evident! Is it necessary to know who took her virginity?
Suffice it that where the man is concerned, is he or is he not an experienced lover? Where the experience was gained should be of no consequence, just appreciated!
We are who we are, each for our own life's experience! Why not just accept each other for who we are?

Willywants (to chase virgins thru the maze at Knossos!)

 

[Jenn_angel]

lol

Bacause dear Willy you and I are years ahead of our time in certian aspects I think. I personally put sooo much into the concept of honesty that it becomes someting sacred to me. I would feel too much guilt if I was not honest and if the other person was not able to handle it... That is a choice the make for them self.

Kisses Willy

 

[Jenn_angel]

lol

You never know.... maybe she is "greedy" like me.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Re: Jen_angel

...I don't think I could be an SP and be attached at the same time... ...if I was in a relationship and my partner ... knew I would ... feel terrible going home to him every night.

I can understand why you feel that way. But don't deprive yourself of romance just because of your profession.

I know if I were openly aware of my partner being an SP, as long as she came home to me and there was enough consistency and reliability in our relationship I think I would do my utmost to reassure her, when needed, that I love and appreciate her and am respectful of her choice.

Cheers
Wha

 

[Jenn_angel]

Single Girls...

I also am single but find that if the really want me for... me....

They accept that part of my life...

 

[sara@select]

honesty for what purpose?

Dr. Love,

In any serious relationship a point of conversation will be sexual history. I can understand your need to be open and I truly respect that immensely. That being said, some things need not be exposed. Truly ask yourself what purpose divulging such info would serve??? I believe it important to be honest in terms of sexual health but details (professional or non) are completely unnecessary.
For example.......a friend of mine (really a friend I swear) has met a wonderful man that she intends to spend the rest of her life with. She has never had a one night stand and as a matter of fact has had very few partners. Her partner, on the other hand, is very experienced and has had many sexual exploits. The only details she wanted to know were if he'd been safe and if he's been tested. His loyalty is not an issue. Since he has "grown up" and decided to settle down she in fact feels confident because he has "been there and done that" or "sown his wild oats" if you will.
So, while I think honesty about your past exploits are important the exact details of who, where, when and what it felt like serve no purpose and could only add some fear and doubt to your new partners' mind. The most important thing is your loyalty and integrity to the new relationship in question.

Sara x

 

[Hymie]

Dr. Love

You can't be that stupid - can you? If you are honestly considering telling a new girlfriend that you have slept with an escort prepare to be perpetually single.

 

[Jenn_angel]

pardon me but......

That is not always true.......

My friends and a lot of people I know would have found that quite acceptable. It is a part of life.

 

[Willywants]

Pondering!!!

Sara, this is for you!
As the intelligent, behind the scene lady you are, perhaps you can help me with my musings!
Would your friend not feel a bit intimidated by the level of experience her new found love has? To sow the bushel or so of wild oats it seems he has, he would have had to experience great variety in the doing! To now commit to a monogomous relationship is all well and good, given he can control his libido.
No doubt he will bring great expertise to the bed, and your friend should thoroughly enjoy that aspect. But how long will she be able to sate his libido and perhaps ultimate need for more variety??
Would the same not hold true of an SP who has tasted variety and now becomes involved in a single relationship??
Just asking a wise young lady her opinion!

I know the givens! That a solid lasting relationship is built on mutual trust, respect, love, loyalty and integrity!

Willywants (to satisfy his curiousity!)

 

[sara@select]

Wow Willy- you said a mouthful!

Willy- great questions you posed.......as a matter of fact "yes" she was a bit intimidated by his wanderlust... lol- we had a girls' conversation about this subject last night after a function we attended.
I told her what I will now tell you- call me an optimist but I believe if ones' needs can be met emotionally, intellectually, as well as sexually people can remain faithful and have a "sexy" loving, lustful relationship! Not an easy thing! Problem is, it takes an immense amount of work! Very few people are willing to put in that kind of effort day in and day out. The rewards from such a relationship can be tremendous!!! I know very few couples that have these types of relationships but those that do......WOW!
My thoughts........

Sara x

 

[james t kirk]

Very interesting thread.

If i might quote a personal hero of mine on this issue. A man who has truly learned his lesson on the risks of the hobby (women in general that is). A man who has suffered for his right to love pussy. A man who is smart enough to know when not to tell the truth because, no good will come of it. A man who got BURNED at the stake, live on TV. Who faced the almighty holier than thou inquistion.

In the words of the Bill Clinton....

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL

That's right folks, don't ask, don't tell.

No good will EVER come to fessing up to being a lover of women to another woman.

This is truly one of those situations where telling the truth will get you into more grief than it is possibly worth.

No offense to the ladies out there who work in the profession. I admire and love you all. The problem is not how men react, it's how WOMEN react to the art.

I could give you a million examples, but why bother.

Every man on the planet over the age of 25 (before that you are too c@#t struck to know) knows that women ANALYZE things to death.

She will make a mountain out of a mole hill every time.

It's just not worth it my friend.

Don't be stupid, please tell me you aren't that stupid.

 

[Willywants]

Searching With A Mouthful!

Now Sara!
You started off your post with "WOW Willy"
and ended it with a "WOW" in reference to a near perfect relationship!
And to think, we have only met but once!! LoL!!
Also, how did you know I had a mouthful when I posted?
In fact I was dunking my chocolate chip cookies in milk at the time!

And so the world wide search continues for the "WOW" !
Thanks for your response Sara! I am in total agreement with the intelligence factor! Two intelligent, caring individuals who respect each other should be able to overcome the "nasties" if and when they arise!
"WOW" would ,of course, be eminently better!

Willywants (to sit and chat one day!)

 

[drlove]

Wow... talk about a blast from the past! I had forgotten all about this thread.

 

[drlove]

When I was dating my Ex, I did in fact tell her I saw escorts; it didn't faze her in the least. Of course, I only mentioned it after she divulged how many partners she had been with (a substantial number).

These days, while I would be completely honest about my medical history/health, I would simply say that I played the field in the past and leave it at that. As so many of you have said, details are completely unecessary.

 

[Flower]

This is not a simple question ~ Here is a bit of a ramble ~

So, I'm asking for your opinions, ladies: Assume for a moment that you are single, and have never worked in the business. You meet someone that you are very attracted to. Then, when the topic of past sexual history comes up, he is completely upfront with you and says that he saw escorts while single, but would not do so when involved in a monagamous relationship. What would your reaction be???

We are all in some respect .. a victim of our past. Our past experiences affect our present on many levels. That being said, I don't have to assume that I am single or have never worked in the business .. My answer is thus .. Real love means total acceptance .. We can't change our past but can come to terms with it.

I'd like to think that I live in the present with an eye to the future and a glimpse every now and again into the past. I don't judge people, nor do I hold them at fault for their behaviour (for lack of a better word) before they met or were involved with me. Each relationship is different, a woman would be a fool to turn away a man that she felt was special, because of his past sexual behaviour.

I guess that it would also depend on when he told her. If it was early on in the relationship .. she would have a chance to weigh things out, do some soul searching and come to an "honest" answer as to whether she wanted to continue the relationship and if she could "handle" this type of behaviour.

If the man waits to tell her, she may feel hurt that he didn't trust her or her feelings for him, in this circumstance, she may not be able to "get over his past behaviour" ..

Every relationship is different, there are no pat answers .. Perhaps a woman isn't entitled to this knowledge, but she would be very hurt if it came out at a later date and that too could ruin what could be something special.

Naturally, at some point trust comes into play, but it does in every relationship including friendships.

*Each person has to live life on their own terms and take responsibility for their own actions.

End of ramble ....I hope that some of this made sense ..

 

[Esco!]

Very interesting thread.

If i might quote a personal hero of mine on this issue. A man who has truly learned his lesson on the risks of the hobby (women in general that is). A man who has suffered for his right to love pussy. A man who is smart enough to know when not to tell the truth because, no good will come of it. A man who got BURNED at the stake, live on TV. Who faced the almighty holier than thou inquistion.

In the words of the Bill Clinton....

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL

That's right folks, don't ask, don't tell.

No good will EVER come to fessing up to being a lover of women to another woman.

This is truly one of those situations where telling the truth will get you into more grief than it is possibly worth.

No offense to the ladies out there who work in the profession. I admire and love you all. The problem is not how men react, it's how WOMEN react to the art.

I could give you a million examples, but why bother.

Every man on the planet over the age of 25 (before that you are too c@#t struck to know) knows that women ANALYZE things to death.

She will make a mountain out of a mole hill every time.

It's just not worth it my friend.

Don't be stupid, please tell me you aren't that stupid.

Excellent point Kirk!!
I say dont even tell your best friends because they will intentionally or by accident let it slip sometime and from thereon its all downhill.
Besides its noone elses business anyways and its not like they dont have any skeletons in their fricking closet(s)