37 and counting: women vs reality

TheNaughtyOne

Layna Dixs
Sep 20, 2012
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Toronto
seems like a lot of men on this site really do love woman... no wonder they are all falling at your feet and begging to be with you. Or maybe they are letting themselves dry up due to these types of attitudes:cool:Who knows, could be anything...
 

youwontknow

Banned
Sep 19, 2008
914
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It's there choice they make the wrong one now live with it. I show absolutely no sympathize for them if they decide these asshole were right for them. Bad boys will always be bad boys.
 

GrandBlasterK

New member
Dec 20, 2010
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Hobbyland
with the exception of the perfect husband (as if they exist lol) I have managed all of these things ... but I had my family when I was quite young. I didn't wait for the perfect man, but I did have the perfect child.
Jessica, I still believe a child should grow up in a loving marriage...it's the only commitment and obligation that a man and woman ought to promise each other. People seem to expect this notion that the partner they seek in marriage is supposed to be the perfect companion, but the reality is that the kids suffer when they see their parents fight or get divorced (even if you don't see it). A man and a woman will never be perfect for each other, but they may be perfect for their kids as long as they can deal with their differences and tolerate things that get on each other's nerves....that's where great chemistry and frequent sex work wonders! :)
 

GrandBlasterK

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Dec 20, 2010
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on the other hand ... a child can potentially suffer more when parents stay together. trust me.. this was the right decision for us.
Well that can be true if he was abusive to the child, but a man who cares about his wife cannot be abusive to his children (no matter how much she gets on his nerves), other than the occasional slap to the bum or hand. I'm not trying to be judgmental or pry into your personal life, but speaking in general terms, young girls typically fall for the wrong guy based on the "butterfly feeling" and then grab him by the balls to force a commitment. Trust me, I've dated a girl who told me this exact story, lost her virginity to the guy in high school, but broke off an engagement after a 5 year relationship. In retrospect, it was not the right guy for her, so what I told her was that the right guy will move mountains to find her and will be crazy about her (but not psychotic lol)....enough to care about marrying her for the right reasons.....unfortunately, I then admitted that I wasn't that guy either (but we had civvy sex anyway). :(
 

yababy

Banned
Feb 27, 2011
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She may not get a perfect guy but she can get a guy each time she walks out the door or logs onto the internet. The reality is that for you finding a semi-decent mother for your kid in Canada is infinitely more difficult than for her to find a semi-decent father.

Women are out of luck in 3rd world countries. Men are out of luck in 1st world countries.
well said. yep pussy rules this country thats for sure.
 

afterhours

New member
Jul 14, 2009
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you mean women rule pussies? not me baby!
let's be real here for a moment. If you won $50 mil jackpot you wouldn't be on this board long enough to make 1000+ posts because you would have been busy fucking civilian women throwing themselves at you. You are just as much a victim of vagina power as we all here are.
 

whobee

New member
Sep 10, 2002
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Not sure whether it's completely a matter of a search for Mr. Right. I think a lot of women are brought up to believe you do your career thing, then when you're a big success you grab a mate and make babies. Given that the career building can take them into their late 30's and beyond there's no time left for the rest, biologically speaking. I'm sure there are some women who have just been holding out for the perfect guy but I think there are others who have just gotten bad intel.
 

kkelso

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2003
2,470
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Not sure whether it's completely a matter of a search for Mr. Right. I think a lot of women are brought up to believe you do your career thing, then when you're a big success you grab a mate and make babies. Given that the career building can take them into their late 30's and beyond there's no time left for the rest, biologically speaking. I'm sure there are some women who have just been holding out for the perfect guy but I think there are others who have just gotten bad intel.
I agree, but would go further.

The accessibility of the internet and new media in general bombards us with incredibly improbable success stories. So much so that we are convinced that we don't have to make choices, that it is in fact quite reasonable to "have it all". In other words "why should I choose between having a monster career and raising a family when I can point to hundreds of women who have done exactly that?" All the time oblivious to the fact that those hundreds of examples now available to us represent 0.0001% of the female population.

And at the risk of appearing sexist, I do believe that women are more predisposed to be influenced by media, exacerbating this effect.
 

Amber Rosa

New member
Oct 18, 2012
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Bay and Bloor, Toronto
thanks for starting this interesting thread wetnose :)

have to ask why gender really matters here?

i know many men we could say the same thing about. late 30s, early 40s, who also say they are "holding out" or whatever.

am sure most of us could have partnered with that proverbial mate and had offspring with. maybe some people are looking for a connection that resonates more deeply. maybe some have not had a deeper sense of what that means til they are more mature.

kkelso - not sexist at all! your assertion is very supported by research etc etc. women are more susceptible to media and it seems there is a cause and effect thing here.

regardless, is it gender or the seeking of a deeper connection?

just sayin!.........
 

afterhours

New member
Jul 14, 2009
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thanks for starting this interesting thread wetnose :)

have to ask why gender really matters here?

i know many men we could say the same thing about. late 30s, early 40s, who also say they are "holding out" or whatever.

am sure most of us could have partnered with that proverbial mate and had offspring with. maybe some people are looking for a connection that resonates more deeply. maybe some have not had a deeper sense of what that means til they are more mature.

kkelso - not sexist at all! your assertion is very supported by research etc etc. women are more susceptible to media and it seems there is a cause and effect thing here.

regardless, is it gender or the seeking of a deeper connection?

just sayin!.........
smart and good-looking, huh?
 

milehigh

Active member
Feb 15, 2003
1,997
2
38
Holy moley.... egos and rejection.... I say.... either man or woman SHOULD be picky and hold out for someone who is going to be a good match for them... if you compromise you won't be happy.
 

nottyboi

Well-known member
May 14, 2008
22,535
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When I read replies like this, I see that men take rejection so much harder then women.
Women rarely initiate, so they tend to face rejection much more rarely then men. But when they do they tend to be more psycho. Rejection is never a fun thing for either sex though. But the fact is, women in Canada, on the whole, tend to feel pretty entitled to a man that will make them happy and meets their "dream guy" image. So when they end up in middle age, with their fertility gone and their dream of motherhood over, it's hard to feel a great deal of pity for them. Women have also fought in the courts to impose ever greater obligations on fathers. As such, fatherhood is a SHITTY DEAL. Of course everything is fine if the family stays together, but that is less then a 50/50 possibility. And when it does not work out it is often hellish and financially disastrous. Since the desire to procreate is less in men, more and more men simply are not wanting to be fathers. Why risk misery for the sake of hardship sprinkled with a few happy moments?
 

kkelso

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2003
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Women rarely initiate, so they tend to face rejection much more rarely then men. But when they do they tend to be more psycho. Rejection is never a fun thing for either sex though. But the fact is, women in Canada, on the whole, tend to feel pretty entitled to a man that will make them happy and meets their "dream guy" image. So when they end up in middle age, with their fertility gone and their dream of motherhood over, it's hard to feel a great deal of pity for them. Women have also fought in the courts to impose ever greater obligations on fathers. As such, fatherhood is a SHITTY DEAL. Of course everything is fine if the family stays together, but that is less then a 50/50 possibility. And when it does not work out it is often hellish and financially disastrous. Since the desire to procreate is less in men, more and more men simply are not wanting to be fathers. Why risk misery for the sake of hardship sprinkled with a few happy moments?
I'm involved in a business mentoring group, the constituents are mostly 25-30 year old guys. I am astounded by the level of awareness they have surrounding the current state of family law, repercussions, options, etc. (All I can remember from 26 was thinking how marriage meant free and easy sex).

Basically the more on-the-ball the young guy is the more likely he is to be extremely cautious in marrying. Sad that it has gotten to this.
 

freedom3

New member
Mar 7, 2004
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Toronto
I'm involved in a business mentoring group, the constituents are mostly 25-30 year old guys. I am astounded by the level of awareness they have surrounding the current state of family law, repercussions, options, etc. (All I can remember from 26 was thinking how marriage meant free and easy sex).

Basically the more on-the-ball the young guy is the more likely he is to be extremely cautious in marrying. Sad that it has gotten to this.
Yes, the word is out. An analogy is union jobs. It was great for workers for a while, but eventually factory owners figured out what a raw deal they were getting and started to do whatever it takes to avoid opening a factory here.

As for dating a woman in her late thirties, the salespitch is always the same: I have great friends, a great family, and a great career. However, I want to have kids and I am missing someone to pay for the nanny to raise the kids while I am at work. Plus, the time for fun is over. I had a lot of fun in my 20s, but now it is time for me (and you) to move on.

They don't mention what will happen to your money if you get divorced, but if you ask, they will be very honest about it.

It is not hard to resist the salespitch.
 

youwontknow

Banned
Sep 19, 2008
914
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Your right freedom3 I've read those online profile a lot it almost seem they just copy and past each other LOL.
 

wetnose

Gamahucher
Nov 14, 2006
2,444
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thanks for starting this interesting thread wetnose :)

have to ask why gender really matters here?

i know many men we could say the same thing about. late 30s, early 40s, who also say they are "holding out" or whatever.

just sayin!.........
I think both sexes are guilty of the "holding-out" syndrome, but it appears quite a few women are unprepared/unaware for the steep drop in fertility. And there is no way to turn back the clock.

Men, on the other hand, always have options - they can date younger girls, or move to foreign countries. They do run a slightly higher risk of birth abnormalities as the article pointed out, but it's still possible to start a family when a man is in his 50s.
 
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