2nd time... Is this normal??

[fuji]

People are so absolute about sexuality. "You're either gay or you're not" It's amazing to me. People ebb and flow, they experiment, they look around.

I used to agree with that view. I don't any longer. The more gay people I've met, and the more I've read into the research, the more convinced I've become that at least for men you are either gay, or you are straight, and that you are born that way.

Certainly there are gay men who pretend to be straight, and there are straight men who pretend to be gay, because of social pressures, or because it's supposed to be cool. I don't doubt that a full-on gay man can have an orgasm fucking a woman. That doesn't mean he's sexually attracted to her though.

The expression "gay, straight, or lying" is one used by gay men to deride straight men who pretend to be gay, who show up for awhile on the gay scene because it's cool, but aren't in it for the long haul because they actually have no real attraction to other men.

But maybe he's searching for something else which can't be described in words, something that has nothing to do with sex

I don't doubt that. In the expression "gay, straight, or lying" it's equally possible he is lying about being bi and in reality is just doing this for some sort of social status not because he's really attracted to men.

It is a common enough thing they have that expression for it.

On the other hand, given the social pressures in this society, if he is sneaking out to fuck men it's more likely he's lying (to himself) about being straight.

 

[fuji]

The proof is in the DICK, not the brain.

I think they had wires on genitals as well that detected increased blood flow, in both men and women, as one of their phsiological measures of attraction.

Men either got increased blood flow to their dicks over looking at pictures of naked women, or naked men, but not both.

 

[Never Compromised]

Catherine,

Why ask us? We don't know the guy.

If you are in a relationship with him, ask him.


Maybe you would like to help him explore his sexuality (MMF three some). Or maybe you would prefer to walk away.

 

[Catherine]

the reason why I am asking here, is because I would like a well saturated male opinion on sexual desires, needs, kinks, etc.... Where else could I get this... but a well saturated male site based on such sexuality...

I am NOY his GF. But his friend. (His GF posted this thread under my name so she can get all the info without being 'found out'...She TRUELY appreciates all that has been said in this thread...

She's not going to leave him, and she has said that she will try to open a line of communication to allow such talk.... But until then...
She is thanking you and hoping all will turn out for the best...

Kat
xoxoxoxox

 

[alexmst]

In my opinion, he is bisexual but has not come out of the closet. Probably very hard for him to hide this from everybody.

Agreed +1

 

[smylee52]

the reason why I am asking here, is because I would like a well saturated male opinion on sexual desires, needs, kinks, etc.... Where else could I get this... but a well saturated male site based on such sexuality...

I am NOY his GF. But his friend. (His GF posted this thread under my name so she can get all the info without being 'found out'...She TRUELY appreciates all that has been said in this thread...

She's not going to leave him, and she has said that she will try to open a line of communication to allow such talk.... But until then...
She is thanking you and hoping all will turn out for the best...

Kat
xoxoxoxox

Thank goodness it's not you . I've read other things posted by you that makes you seem like a smart ,in charge ,know what you want woman . Makes you sound very sexy . Based on that and reviews I've read I thought if I ever get down your way I consider booking you .

Then I read this post that was purportedly you and I thought scratch her from the TDL . I was quite surprised when it seemed I totally misread the type of person you are and am relieved to see the lady in question isn't you . Not interested in someone with the personality of the lady involved in this melodrama with the hero of this little saga. I know I am lacking in the sensitivity department when dealing with people who are confused about their sexuality and cause grief to people around them . I also know I am not attracted to people who get involved in this minefield of head games .

Just letting you know it's not a good idea to let someone post under your handle . You did a disservice to the attractive on line personality you have created . It's good that you clarified it's not you in this little drama .

Ask you friend to get her own handle .

 

[GOLEAFSGO67]

youve confused everyone Catherine

with the 'double posting'

Why is SHE in here posting in YOUR string?

I digress.

Sounds like it has nothing to do with his sexuality.

More to do with her own security and feelings of self esteem. And to do with his anger management problems. Not an unusual problem with guys who are in a realtionship with a woman but truly want a guy.

Yes he 'may need you' - don't overthink this...he needs you ONLY for public appearances....

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

You have a point

Are you serious? Most homosexuals throughout history have had to live false lives in heterosexual marriages to avoid persecution or even death.

Even today, probably half the worlds population still lives in societies where homosexuals could be lynched with impunity in broad daylight. And even those who live in relatively "free" societies often feel the need to live double lives.

What better way to avoid suspicion of homosexuality than to be married with a family. They might loathe every minute of it, but it most certainly can be done.

I agree that in those circumstances many gays did what they had to do however I am referring to those who feel they have the choice. I could perhaps have worded my comments a little differently and I do agree with you that many unfortunate people have had to pretend an entire lifestyle to avoid condemnation. I would like to say that those days are long gone but obviously the bi and homo sexual revolution still has a long way to go.

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

yes you are also correct

Then why do gay guys seem to adore Cher, Lisa, & Celine For years when it wasn't fashionable, gay men had wives and children so clearly they were having sex with women.

Despite their sexual orientation the parts all work.

See my previous comment.

I think they like Cher because she looks like a tranny?

 

[BallzDeep]

the reason why I am asking here, is because I would like a well saturated male opinion on sexual desires, needs, kinks, etc.... Where else could I get this... but a well saturated male site based on such sexuality...

I am NOY his GF. But his friend. (His GF posted this thread under my name so she can get all the info without being 'found out'...She TRUELY appreciates all that has been said in this thread...

She's not going to leave him, and she has said that she will try to open a line of communication to allow such talk.... But until then...
She is thanking you and hoping all will turn out for the best...

Kat
xoxoxoxox

Please have her refer to my 12 steps of diagnosing gayness, untreated gayness can lead to complications such as soreness of the bumhole and browning of the penis, early detection is crucial.

 

[skypilot]

Two key concepts:

I knew he was gay because he giggled every time I kissed him.

I knew he was gay because I could taste shit on his dick.

 

[Hard Idle]

She's not going to leave him, and she has said that she will try to open a line of communication to allow such talk....

LOL! Why?? A clear line of communication IS already open. He's brazenly lying to her face and not even trying to make it look convincing. That's communication - it's not trust or respect - but it is communication.

You can't even blame him anymore. She's just making it so easy to treat her like a fool that it's not even reasonable to expect a guy not to take advantage of it for as long as he has any use for her.

Another frightening example of how easy it can be to co-opt gulible and desparate women to believe just about anything to keep their illusions intact.

I just hope that one day a couple of years from now he's not persuading her to lure schoolgirls to their appartment and then leave them alone for 6 hours to play checkers.

 

[Thunderballs]

...Is he GAY?...

You are the poster woman for the In Denial Club.

 

[kdkeld]

I don't think the question to ask concerns whether or not he is gay...

It concerns whether or not has 'found' and settled comfortably into his sexual identity...and whether or not you want to invest the time/energy as a partner in his "soul-searching quest"...

I would advise you to exit as fast as you can (easier said than done, sure), unless you want to settle into the accidental counsellor role. But, I'm assuming you want a lover/companion, not a patient, right?

 

[Hurricane Hank]

" It's not really me, I'm posting for a friend."


Ya, sure it's not you. And I'm Santa Claus........

 

[diverdown]

Is this normal

Definitely NOT

What you do from here, well that's the million dollar question.

Sorry, sounds too real to pass off trite relationship advice. I hope there is someone close to you that you can confide in and then go to the man in question and work on it from there.

BOL.

 

[fernie]

" It's not really me, I'm posting for a friend."


Ya, sure it's not you. And I'm Santa Claus........

No kidding. I hate it when posters try to back peddle or treat the terb community here like we are morons.

Fess up already, Catherine.

Fernie

 

[Catherine]

Please, My GF isn't in the biz, and she only goes on here when she hangs at my house. We had a couple glasses of wine, discussed the particulars and I posted (mostly for my own kinky curiousity.) Then I showed her the thread (first one) and she felt better, but embarrassed so she asked me to remove it. When She continued her investigation and found out more, she again confided in me, and I again posted. Again, mostly for my own kinky curiousity, as this has happened to me before with an ex, although not to this extreme (of him calling a gay line)... So that's that, and here we are, discussing a topic, that on the most part, is not usually discussed on here (terb).

The ONLY reason I posted that it wasn't me was because my actual BF saw the post and freaked cause he didn't want to be thought of as a (and I am quoteing him word for word) 20-something gay guy... So out of respect for him I clarified.

But thanks for all the info gents. My GF has been comforted with all this 'support' and she feels a lot better and I am assuming, a lot less alienated..

Catherine
xoxoxoxo

 

[elmo]

Is your GF hot? Review?

 

[Brill]

Ask her to tell us why she's staying with him.

Wouldn't she prefer a monogamous relationship with a heterosexual man that communicates or does she like him screwing other people behind her back?