2nd time... Is this normal??
- Thread starter Catherine
- Start date
I think Catherine knows the answer already. It isn't rocket science. The man is giving you clues.
Quite frankly I say run from this relationship. Once you start snooping through phone and internet histories, can you really go back? Do you want to love someone you can't trust?
Fernie
Quite frankly I say run from this relationship. Once you start snooping through phone and internet histories, can you really go back? Do you want to love someone you can't trust?
Fernie
Just some advice Catherine. It might be bad for business to post that your personal sex life involves a partner who likely engages in gay sex. Most customers will be turned off by that, at least IMHO. I respect the honesty but still, that info is a major turnoff. No disrespect intended.
It's time to confront him if you are uncomfortable with the apparent situation. Quite likely he is ashamed at his desires bit since he proclaims his love for you he should be able to confide in you. If he can't confide in you then you know that the relationship is doomed anyways and it is time to remove yourself from which will be more denials and termoil in your not to distant future. In short all successful relationships are based on trust. If he wants to be with you he will explain his behaviour because lets face it you of all people will be able empathize with him. Hope this helps.
Doesn't this boil down to Catherine's feeling about this?onthebottom said:
My g/f is bi... but she loves me and we share a puss now and again. I'm not worried she's going to run off with a woman in the least.
For what it is worth.....
It sounds to me like he is curious, most men are not comfortable sharing their secret fascination with cock with anyone else....I have learned that a lot of straight men have a fascination with cock,,,,the thought of being 'forced' to suck or stroke another cock turns them on although other men do not. It is generally confusing and upsetting to them and they have a hard time discerning the difference and end up being worried that they are secretly Gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) . A lot of my clients come to me with this worry and are greatly relieved to hear that it is quite normal (in my experience) and that it does NOT make them Gay (not that there is anything wrong with that). Perhaps your Lover has the same issues and is trying to understand what is going on in his head.
The fact that he is curious or even Bi should not be a concern however the topic should be discussed before he does something that creates a rift between you that is too big to overcome. I assume you have an open relationship if you know about the other women he is involved with and as a professional you clearly know the difference between Love and sex....why would being bi upset you? These days men know enough to protect themselves when playing with anyone be it men or women. As long as he plays safe and chooses his partners carefully I do not see why you have a need to be concerned. For that matter how hot would it be to have mmf threesomes now?
Good luck hon, I hope you find a way to bring up the topic in a non-confrontational way. Do you play with a strap-on with him? Perhaps watching bi porn together? Somehow talk about how watching a guy suck another guys cock is HOT!!! he might casually admit it is not an awful idea lol.
It sounds to me like he is curious, most men are not comfortable sharing their secret fascination with cock with anyone else....I have learned that a lot of straight men have a fascination with cock,,,,the thought of being 'forced' to suck or stroke another cock turns them on although other men do not. It is generally confusing and upsetting to them and they have a hard time discerning the difference and end up being worried that they are secretly Gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) . A lot of my clients come to me with this worry and are greatly relieved to hear that it is quite normal (in my experience) and that it does NOT make them Gay (not that there is anything wrong with that). Perhaps your Lover has the same issues and is trying to understand what is going on in his head.
The fact that he is curious or even Bi should not be a concern however the topic should be discussed before he does something that creates a rift between you that is too big to overcome. I assume you have an open relationship if you know about the other women he is involved with and as a professional you clearly know the difference between Love and sex....why would being bi upset you? These days men know enough to protect themselves when playing with anyone be it men or women. As long as he plays safe and chooses his partners carefully I do not see why you have a need to be concerned. For that matter how hot would it be to have mmf threesomes now?
Good luck hon, I hope you find a way to bring up the topic in a non-confrontational way. Do you play with a strap-on with him? Perhaps watching bi porn together? Somehow talk about how watching a guy suck another guys cock is HOT!!! he might casually admit it is not an awful idea lol.
I disagree. It's one thing to have the odd thought run through your head. Quite another to get out there and fuck other men. If he's doing the latter he is gay. Not bi. Not straight.
I personally don't believe there is such a thing as a bi man, there are only gay and straight men who are in denial.
There was a study some time ago that wired up men's brains with electrodes while they watched porn. Some men were only aroused by images of women. Some men were only aroused by images of other men. No men were aroused by both, though some CLAIMED to be aroused by both--but their brain scans showed they weren't.
In women, most women were aroused by both, even though some CLAIMED to be aroused only by men, although some women were more aroused by men than by women--all showed some arousal to either sex.
So as I said, men are either gay, straight, or lying.
I personally don't believe there is such a thing as a bi man, there are only gay and straight men who are in denial.
There was a study some time ago that wired up men's brains with electrodes while they watched porn. Some men were only aroused by images of women. Some men were only aroused by images of other men. No men were aroused by both, though some CLAIMED to be aroused by both--but their brain scans showed they weren't.
In women, most women were aroused by both, even though some CLAIMED to be aroused only by men, although some women were more aroused by men than by women--all showed some arousal to either sex.
So as I said, men are either gay, straight, or lying.
I beg to disagree
If you enjoy having sex with both men and women then you are bi. Truly gay men do not get turned on by women nor do they have sex with them. the same goes for women, Gay women do not sleep with men. Some of these studies give misleading results in my opinion because watching videos feeds the fantasy part of the brain but when it comes to actually living these fantasies the response can be a lot different. i can watch videos of mock rape scenes and be totally turned on by it,,,in reality however it would be frightening and painful and NOT a turn on in the least. People have erotic responses to all kinds of strange images that they would never be turned on by in reality.
This of course is only my opinion based solely on talking to the men that come to see me on a professional basis as well as the men I see on a personal basis. I have not done studies lol. Most of the guys that talk to me about this are happily married on in a comitted relationship and just do not understand their secret fantasy/fascination with cock. I would guess that this is why shemales are so popular lately, they have the best of both worlds in a sense, women with a cock lol. Although if they had a cock and a pussy they would have the very best of both worlds in my opinion.
If you enjoy having sex with both men and women then you are bi. Truly gay men do not get turned on by women nor do they have sex with them. the same goes for women, Gay women do not sleep with men. Some of these studies give misleading results in my opinion because watching videos feeds the fantasy part of the brain but when it comes to actually living these fantasies the response can be a lot different. i can watch videos of mock rape scenes and be totally turned on by it,,,in reality however it would be frightening and painful and NOT a turn on in the least. People have erotic responses to all kinds of strange images that they would never be turned on by in reality.
This of course is only my opinion based solely on talking to the men that come to see me on a professional basis as well as the men I see on a personal basis. I have not done studies lol. Most of the guys that talk to me about this are happily married on in a comitted relationship and just do not understand their secret fantasy/fascination with cock. I would guess that this is why shemales are so popular lately, they have the best of both worlds in a sense, women with a cock lol. Although if they had a cock and a pussy they would have the very best of both worlds in my opinion.
People are so absolute about sexuality. "You're either gay or you're not" It's amazing to me. People ebb and flow, they experiment, they look around.
You know when it's 3 am and you've had fourteen beers and you're looking at shemale sites and thinking "damn, I'd hit that hard." Then you wake up and you find yourself attracted to the same pussy you liked the day before. That's sex. Yea, some people are in denial, but lots of times people check out forbidden shit, like gay chat lines, shemales, etc and find it isn't for them after all.
Maybe the guy wants to suck dick. But maybe he's searching for something else which can't be described in words, something that has nothing to do with sex, but might be about power, loss, reclaiming something, connecting, whatever. Now we have browser history and people get freaked out by what they see when it all may be pretty harmless.
You know when it's 3 am and you've had fourteen beers and you're looking at shemale sites and thinking "damn, I'd hit that hard." Then you wake up and you find yourself attracted to the same pussy you liked the day before. That's sex. Yea, some people are in denial, but lots of times people check out forbidden shit, like gay chat lines, shemales, etc and find it isn't for them after all.
Maybe the guy wants to suck dick. But maybe he's searching for something else which can't be described in words, something that has nothing to do with sex, but might be about power, loss, reclaiming something, connecting, whatever. Now we have browser history and people get freaked out by what they see when it all may be pretty harmless.
Signs he's gay:
1. Take him clubbing, if he dances with his hands over his head, he's gay.
2. When he checks his fingernails, are his fingers straight out (gay), turned in a fist like manner (not gay).
3. Does he use the term 'whatever' allot by itself? (gay)
4. Does he snap his fingers to music, or any time really? (very gay)
5. Does he hold in his sneezes (possibly gay), when combined with others traits on the list (gay)
5. Does he watch mens figure skating and knows all the names of the jumps? (gay)
6. Does he clutch you during a horror movie? (gay)
7. When he fights, does he slap (gay), or punch (not gay)
8. Does he drink breezers instead of beer? (gay)
9. Does he work at a bank? (very gay)
10. If he knows an unusual amount of soap apera characters. (gay)
11. Has he ever mentioned attending an Oprah show. (gay)
12. Are his "S's" pronounced? (ghey)
probably should have inserted a smiley face for those who don't realize it's a joke.
1. Take him clubbing, if he dances with his hands over his head, he's gay.
2. When he checks his fingernails, are his fingers straight out (gay), turned in a fist like manner (not gay).
3. Does he use the term 'whatever' allot by itself? (gay)
4. Does he snap his fingers to music, or any time really? (very gay)
5. Does he hold in his sneezes (possibly gay), when combined with others traits on the list (gay)
5. Does he watch mens figure skating and knows all the names of the jumps? (gay)
6. Does he clutch you during a horror movie? (gay)
7. When he fights, does he slap (gay), or punch (not gay)
8. Does he drink breezers instead of beer? (gay)
9. Does he work at a bank? (very gay)
10. If he knows an unusual amount of soap apera characters. (gay)
11. Has he ever mentioned attending an Oprah show. (gay)
12. Are his "S's" pronounced? (ghey)
probably should have inserted a smiley face for those who don't realize it's a joke.
Trying to read the brain with a volt meter?fuji said:
I think your scientist would have learned more about sexuality by slipping those electrodes into their own assess for a few minutes instead of playing Star Trek.
The proof is in the DICK, not the brain.
If the same person who got a HARD ON watching all-girl porn also got a HARD On watching shemale or gay porn at some other time, THAT's real proof they can be into both ...regardless what some toaster says.
Are you serious? Most homosexuals throughout history have had to live false lives in heterosexual marriages to avoid persecution or even death.LadyTY2Uall said:
Even today, probably half the worlds population still lives in societies where homosexuals could be lynched with impunity in broad daylight. And even those who live in relatively "free" societies often feel the need to live double lives.
What better way to avoid suspicion of homosexuality than to be married with a family. They might loathe every minute of it, but it most certainly can be done.
Didn't see the first thread but...
You know lots of guys are total dogs, but most of them wouldn't come right out and say something like " Yeah you're great. I mean, I'm into lots of other girls and even shemales too. But it's definitely convenient to have you available at the push of a button, so by all means, do stick around!"
IF this was some 26 year old virgin who had never experienced anything but rejection and humiliation from women, it might be understandable if his sexuality was wandering in search of something ...the need for genuine affection and approval re-writting his programing, at least to try it.
But a guy who is getting all kinds of pussy and has an unusually tolerant girlfriend ...no, he should be in pig heaven just from that, nowhere near bored enough to start exploring other curiosities at this point in his life.
I'd say he is neither staright, gay or bisexual. I'd say he is simply an emerging sex maniac. An insatiable ominvore who wants it every way imaginable. Ultimately, it's all about HIMSELF and the acts. All about him experiencing every possible fantasy without restriction. The partner is a secondary accessory in a scavanger hunt for excitement. He might have a general gender preference, but it's not one that will stand in the way of pushing his erotic boundaries.
Which ties into:
I suggest at the very least you should give this person alot of space & distance for, say 5-7 years, to see where all of this leads to. And then, if you;re still interested (you probably won't be) and he's still interested (probably won't be) you can revist the relationship.
OK that what he SAYS ...but realistically, what else what you expect a guy to say? Isn't that what ANY guy who wants to have it both ways would say... if that's all it took to keep his trusty stand-by from splitting?Catherine said:
You know lots of guys are total dogs, but most of them wouldn't come right out and say something like " Yeah you're great. I mean, I'm into lots of other girls and even shemales too. But it's definitely convenient to have you available at the push of a button, so by all means, do stick around!"
Not really, not under those circumstances.
IF this was some 26 year old virgin who had never experienced anything but rejection and humiliation from women, it might be understandable if his sexuality was wandering in search of something ...the need for genuine affection and approval re-writting his programing, at least to try it.
But a guy who is getting all kinds of pussy and has an unusually tolerant girlfriend ...no, he should be in pig heaven just from that, nowhere near bored enough to start exploring other curiosities at this point in his life.
It's POSSIBLE that he's been a closet gay living in denial all this time - but if he's been responding and performing normally with you all this time, then he's probably NOT gay, at least not to the extent where he's sexually repulsed by women.
I'd say he is neither staright, gay or bisexual. I'd say he is simply an emerging sex maniac. An insatiable ominvore who wants it every way imaginable. Ultimately, it's all about HIMSELF and the acts. All about him experiencing every possible fantasy without restriction. The partner is a secondary accessory in a scavanger hunt for excitement. He might have a general gender preference, but it's not one that will stand in the way of pushing his erotic boundaries.
Which ties into:
That might be the case with a sex maniac. In reality, very few women can match the average man's sexual drive and interest in sex for its own sake. Even fewer can match that of a sex maniac. Only other sexually obsessed males can trully be on the same page with such people.
I suggest at the very least you should give this person alot of space & distance for, say 5-7 years, to see where all of this leads to. And then, if you;re still interested (you probably won't be) and he's still interested (probably won't be) you can revist the relationship.
